One of our readers was motivated to plan a surprise for her husband's birthday after seeing last week's post. With our busy lives it's so easy to just remain on automatic pilot. See if any of the following comments from our recent poll stimulate you to action.

As a single man, Barry had enjoyed an active sex life and finally married later in life. He was determined to make this relationship work. “I recognize that I’m not a young man anymore and factor that into my thinking about sex. Since this is a marriage and not a date, there are other issues that sometimes get in the way of our feeling close, like resentments about how we each spend money. We try to talk it out and not let bad feelings build up."

Husbands in successful long-term marriages believe that mutual acceptance and respect are crucial. Charles and his wife have learned from each other. “I have accepted who she is and I’m not trying to change her anymore. The years together have made both of us more tolerant. And I sometimes think that she understands me better than I understand myself.”

Mike talked about how he was affected by his wife’s attitude. “I feel her love and respect for who I am and what I say, even though we do not always agree. This makes me feel safe. I look forward to our life together even though we have no idea where it will be or what it will bring. But I want to enjoy it in small and big ways, daily, for however long it will be.”