Moroccan Souks as a Way of Life

The souks and markets are a way of life in Morocco and you usually won't have to go too far to find one. They are arguably the most exciting, colorful and enticing aspects of the culture. And one of the main aesthetic attractions is food, as indicated by this kiosk of olives.


Open air food stalls offer big bowls of snail soup and dried fruit sellers line the countless alleyways. At every turn fruit and vegetable merchants are haggling over the price of their produce. Herbal medicines that will cure anything from baldness to impotence are sold alongside century old carpets and rugs.

Leather and curio stalls vie for shoppers' attention. And craftsmen dye wool in huge boiling cauldrons while their neighbors measure out spices, stacked in the shape of pyramids, on old lead scales. It's truly a sight to see. (click on photos for larger image)


Earlier this week we were interviewed by generational coach, Barbara Friesner, and you can listen to our discussion on www.blogtalkradio.com. Just log on to www.agewiseliving.com, click on 'Barbara's radio show' and then click on 'healing the rifts of family relationships.' Email us if you have questions or concerns about our talk, care-giving or the sandwich generation.

Morocco, Thanksgiving and our Thanks to You

There are so many different ways that the Moroccan people creatively express themselves - through their carpets, jewelry, ceramics, wood carvings, leather goods. The winding alleyways of the souks are full of local artwork. The kiosks are colorful and the vendors thankful for your interest in what they do.

And on this important holiday we have a lot to be thankful for even in these hard times. As always, members of the sandwich generation, we're thankful to have you involved in the work we do. Our heartfelt wishes to you and your family for the best Thanksgiving!

The Architecture of Morocco

Morocco is shaded with a variety of colors yet cloaked with a blanket of mystery. The country proudly upholds its history, traditions and culture through its ancient monuments. And its charm is reflected in the distinctive and exotic mixture of Spanish, African and Islamic architecture.





Enchanting courtyards everywhere are adorned with sprawling gardens. Throughout the mosques, minarets and palaces, you'll find magnificent doors of engraved wood and bronze. Intricate geometrical patterns, crafted by hand from bright colored mosaics or inlaid mother of pearl, enhance the beauty of these settings.


Most of the buildings feature large, intimidating u-shaped archways and beautiful domes that complete them. And it is not uncommon to see the tops of these domes adorned with nests complete with an array of birds, as if direct from Hollywood's central casting.

The Magical Markets of Morocco

In all the villages and towns that make up the beautiful country of Morocco, there are outdoor markets displaying some of the finest Moroccan crafts and threadworks. You can find a stand with spices, dried fruit or olives next to a dentist or a barber. And the vendors themselves are a large part of the charm, as you can see in these pictures. (click on photos for larger images)

When it comes to the souks in larger cities, an entire area is devoted to a particular product - lanterns, ceramics, accessories, jewelry, leather, carpets. The souks are cavernous and seem endless. The crowds are enormous but that's part of the charm - especially if you have to share the narrow passages with sheep for sale, wagons loaded with produce and burros with their saddle bags filled to the brim.

The huge square in Marrakesh, Jmaa el Fna - packed full of organ grinders, snake charmers, palm readers, storytellers and tourists - is at the entrance to the Grand Souk. Mind boggling characters, colours and choices lead you into a bewildering but fascinating world of haggling. If you're bargain hunting, it's best to head for the specialty markets deep inside the souk.
Bargaining is an accepted and almost obligatory Moroccan shopping custom. Everyone knows that what an item is marked is only a starting point. And vendors expect you to offer a lower price. The more time, discussion and patience you are willing to give to the process - perhaps over a cup of mint tea - the better the price will be.

Family Life in Morocco

I'm back from two weeks in Morocco and want to savor the experience, so I hope it's OK if I share some of my photos and impressions with you this week. Please feel free to click on 'Comments' at the bottom of this post and tell us your travel stories as well.

Morocco is the kind of country I love to visit, where the almost medieval-like hustle and bustle is a world away from my own life. The culture is so different from what I know and the sights, sounds, smells and tastes are like a wakeup call to the senses. Here's a photo of a grandfather treating his grandchild to an ice cream cone while he's babysitting.

This one is of three generations of the same family selling ceramic pots in the local market. As you can see, just like in our country, the Sandwich Generation is front and center.

Meet our guide, Jamal, and his wife, Fouzia. Hospitality is a part of the Moroccan culture and we spent an evening in their home in Marrakesh, talking with them and their three daughters. Traditionally men take to the streets and women are in charge of the home. Although Fouzia has a Ph.D. in languages, she sees her primary job as raising the girls. Jamel said that, especially since he travels so much, she holds the power in the family.

Despite the language barrier, women speak a universal body language. And it was apparent that, underneath the traditional clothes, she is much like you and me – working hard, concerned about her children and parents, loving her family.

We want you to know that on Tuesday, November 24 at 10am Pacific/1pm Eastern, Line Brunet will be interviewing us on her Family Focus radio show about the Sandwich Generation. If you want to listen and/or download it afterwards, please log on www.blogtalkradio.com/familyfocuscoach

Sally Shields Chats with Our Readers

Yesterday, we enjoyed hosting Sally Shields, author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules on our blog. Here are some of our readers' questions and Sally's responses.

When Anita asked Sally how her mother-in-law reacted to reading about herself in the book, Sally recalled how it affected their relationship:

"There are 3 parts to that... first when she found out I was writing the book she said, "I know I can be a B....tch, Sally! I'm a Leo. But we're a lot a like, you know. Now go write a best-seller, or I'll kick your butt!"

Then, she read the book. And well, I wasn't welcome at Christmas time...

Lastly, we had it out... and we didn't hold back. She told me what she thought of me. I told her what I thought of her. We screamed and laughed, and she finally said, "You know, I think this probably all happened for a reason." Now, we are close!"

Another reader asked about how her relationship with her MIL changed when Sally had children.

"Well, that was incredible. There is nothing that she wanted more in the world than to have grandchildren. Once I got that, and made sure that she always feels included in all the little steps and milestones, I have seen a tremendous change in our relationship. This is such a joy for me to facilitate!"

One of our readers, a MIL and grandmother herself who works on her relationship with her DIL, wondered what Sally meant by, "I don't mind telling people what to do or how they should do it." Sally explained:

"You sound like such a sweet MIL... it's a very, very complicated relationship, and I feel it is largely the DIL's responsibility to make sure that her husband's mother feels like she is wanted, appreciated and part of their lives. So, that is my vision, to teach brides and wives the art of making friends with their husband's mother, so that years of needless contention can be avoided! The DIL needs schooling and that is what I set out to do with the DIL Rules.

Something else I'd like to add to that... when I say I don't mind telling people what to do or how they should do it, I mean, that I think a DIL should make sure to make her MIL feel special and appreciated by doing all the little things she can like never forgetting a b-day, making sure she calls her MIL once a week to ask how she's feeling, complimenting her and letting her know what a great job she did in raising her son, etc. These might seem like the presumed obvious, but they are little things that can easily get overlooked in the course of daily life. Because the MIL DIL relationship is often fraught with tension, there are so many things a DIL can do to avert misunderstandings and hurtful miscommunications. So that is what I mean by telling someone what to do... schooling and reminding the DIL that it is her job to reach out and make friends with her MIL!"

A daughter-in-law wanted help in dealing with her MIL who had complained that she was distant because the DIL didn't want to go to her home for Sunday dinner. Sally weighed in with her advice:

"Yes, this is the kind of stuff that happens, very normal... this relationship is already poised for misunderstandings and hurtfulness... that is why, we as DIL's have to work so hard to not be defensive and air more on the side of compassionate. From her perspective, she doesn't understand all those reasons. Maybe you can start calling her once a week, just to have a little chat, ask how she's feeling, etc. Or start with once every 3 weeks, whatever you can do, but make sure your husband isn't home. Tell her how excited you are to come to Sunday dinner! Be glad that you don't have to cook. Then, go. But not always - just now and then. But strike a balance, because you have compassion and do it happily for your husband. These are part of the RULES for a happy marriage!
Consider it a blessing that you don't have to cook. Then, help her with the dishes, and watch the magic happen!"

And Janet, with an idea for a book herself, asked Sally about her marketing efforts. Sally shared her experience:

"I did everything I could to learn how to market a book, then wrote a home-study course called Publicity Secrets Revealed: What Every PR Firm Doesn't Want Your to Know! You can check it out here: www.sallyshields.com/productsandservices

I also learned how to bring a book to the top of the Amazon charts, and got to #1 in Wedding showers, which opened up a LOT of doors, and I now teach authors how to do that as well. Please get in touch with me and I'd be happy to be your coach! Basically, I got on lots of radio and TV shows, did virtual book tours, article marketing, created sponsorship proposals (1-800-flowers created a full page ad in the back of the book) and things of this nature."

Our thanks again to Sally for her generosity in sharing with us. If you are a mother-in-law and want some more insight into how to get along better with your daughter-in-law, click on the post title above. It takes you to our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, From Baby Boomer to Mother-in-Law: How to Play Your New Role.

The Daughter-in-Law Rules

Nourishing Relationships: We are so pleased to have Sally Shields, author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules join us today. We have so much to ask you, lets get right to it!
What is the concept behind the DIL Rules and how did you derive at that name?

Sally Shields: The Daughter-in-Law Rules is based on the 7th spiritual law of success, which is: the quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. By that I mean, be a loving, kind-hearted, sensitive person, and the world will reflect that back to you, even in the form of your mother-in-law! I loved that book The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. I patterned the Daughter-in-Law Rules on that book.

N R: When did you decide on writing as a career?

S S: Actually, the book took me less than a week to write! As the last thing I wrote was a paper in high school, I don't consider myself a writer per se. What I learned was that you only need 2 things to have a best selling book - a passion for your topic and a sincere desire to help people. To quote Robert Kiyosaki of Rich Dad, Poor Dad: "I didn't want to be the best writing author - rather I want to be the best SELLING author!" It was the marketing of the book that really intrigued me, so I use the 90-10 rule - I spent 10% of my time writing the book, and the other 90% of my time and energy marketing it.

N R: What motivated you to write the DIL Rules?

S S: Like most women, I got married and got a mother-in-law. But after a couple of years, I was left scratching my head, thinking, where is the manual for this?!!! I wrote to the ladies that wrote the bestselling book The Rules, and told them that since they helped all these women meet and marry the men of their dreams, they then needed to provide some advice on how to get along with the other woman in their man's life—his mom! These two authors told me it was the best idea they'd ever heard. I honestly just wanted some advice on the topic! "You should write it," they said. At first I thought they were crazy since the last thing I'd written was a term paper in high school English class! But, the gears started turning in my mind. So I started to jot down all the troublesome incidents that would pop into my head in regards to my MIL, and came up with a rule and a solution to deal with each and every one. When I put a few of these rules into practice (and saw that they actually worked) I thought maybe I could help save other young wives years of needless contention!

N R: Have you published any other work that you've written?

S S: I have a music book called Modern Jazz Piano (Hal Leonard, 2004). I've also written The Collaborator Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Stay Friends with) Your Co-Author as well as a poetry book called "A Pond Beneath the Moon" but I've yet to publish them.

N R: What makes you unique when compared to other authors?

I am very focused on solving a problem in a very short period of time. I don't mind telling people what to do or how they should do it. Here's the Rule. Now do it. Sometimes people tell me that they don't want to do these rules because it seems like too much work. Then I give them the Dr. Phil answer which is, "Well, how's THAT workin' for ya?!!" These rules are problem-solution oriented so give them a try!

S S: What inspires your work?

I love being creative and just coming up with stuff that I think will help people, or bring humor to a situation, while at the same time solving my own life's problems! My vision is now to create more harmony among 20 million mothers and daughters in law around the world while at the same time raising money for breast cancer. The National Breast Cancer Foundation® is my non-profit partner and we are currently working with 1-800-flowers on a unique fundraising idea for the fall.

N R: Has your book been featured in any national publications or on television?

S S: Yes! I've been in Star Magazine, Girlfriendz, For the Bride, and Obvious Magazine. I've appeared twice on the nationally syndicated The Daily Buzz, Fox & Friends, BetterTV.com and have a pending segment on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliette, as well as having appeared on Martha Stewart Whole Living Radio and the DIL Rules was recommended as Book of the Week by Dr. Laura Schelssinger.

N R: Are you self-published or through a publishing house?

S S: I started off self-publishing with Outskirts Press, a print on demand company, but just garnered interest from a small independent publisher with national distribution. The DIL Rules will be re-released on September 1st with a new cover, subtitle, foreword, interior design and illustrations, and will be in stores everywhere!

N R: Who or what personally inspires you to push forth with your career?

S S: I've been a musician ever since I was a kid, and I just get a lot of energy from performing, speaking, being out there in the media and expressing my ideas in my unique way fuels and motivates me forward.

N R: Have your book sales been positively/negatively affected by the financial changes in the country and if so how you come up with ways to divert from it (if negative)?

S S: I notice that the more radio and TV appearances I do, I can keep the sales up. It seems to be more about continually letting people know about the book that makes more of a difference than the financial state of affairs. It would be fun to compare current sales to what it will be like when Obama whips this country back in shape eventually! :-)

N R: Do you have any events coming up that people should know about or book tours?

S S: As I have 2 small kids, I have been doing virtual book tours from home and doing national radio tours via telephone. I do some local book signings here in New York, and I speak at various events such as the ASJA, and the Catholic Marketing Network has asked me to speak at their event in a couple of months. I also do a weekly radio show called Blurb! that is a book contest for authors. For more information on how authors can apply to be on the show, check out BlurbRadio.com.

N R: What advice would you have for young entrepreneurs and authors?

S S: I would say keep it fun, because otherwise all those hours you put in wouldn't make any sense! And remember that there are only 2 elements that you need to succeed in any endeavor: a passion for your topic and a sincere desire to help people.

N R: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

S S: I see myself with my own reality show, as a Daughter-in-Law Rules seminar leader, a speaker at Bridal events, fundraiser and spokesperson for the National Breast Cancer Foundation,® and continuing to partner with corporations such as Macys, David's Bridal and Martha Stewart Weddings.

Never give up on your dreams. You don't have to know the how, but focus on the why. Don't set limits and reach for the sky. Do positive affirmations morning and evening, and you will see your thoughts transform into things. You can manifest your desires by focusing on the things that you want. Don't give up because it takes a while for the universe to prepare the meal that you've ordered, but know that it is in the oven back there so make sure you don't leave the restaurant!

N R: Thanks, Sally, for joining us today and for the great information. Readers, here's your chance to get some personal advice from Sally - about getting along with your daughter-in-law, marketing your own book, living your dream. Just click on the "comment" line below and let us hear from you.