Join us at Her Mentor Center

NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com has been our home for years and we really appreciate your loyalty. But we have created a new weblog and, from now on, will no longer be posting on this blog.

We want to stay connected with you, so please click on HerMentorCenter.com, and come by often. Rest assured that we'll be waiting for you there!

100 Blogs to Visit

Have you visited these 100 blogs, named best of the best on the web? Compiled by G34Media.com, they include, among others, blogs about food, travel, humor, social media, finance, celebrities, hobbies, fun, and - in the category of love/sex/dating/relationships - OURS! So, as a reader of Nourishing Relationships and HerMentorCenter, consider yourself in the know about where to go when you surf the web. And come back here often to read more about improving your family relationships as you continue to nurture yourself.

Voices Raised and Budgets Honored

Tired this morning from watching late night news about the elections across the United States? Although not all results are in yet, it's clear that the American people have used the polls to give voice to their concerns about the economy. The challenge to the administration is to work with the new Congress to cut spending, balance the budget and reduce the deficit while creating new jobs and reviving the economy.

To help your own personal family budget, Nourishing Relationships is pleased to be a part of this week's Mom Audience Giveaway Explosion. We've enjoyed learning about Mom Audience, which gives mothers the opportunity to connect with business, employment and service opportunities as well as find out about discounts, deals, giveaways, products and other events. Now they have compiled a group of blogs and websites that are providing products and services free of charge to Mom Audience members this week.

To take advantage of the Mom Audience Giveaway Explosion, subscribe to Mom Audience. When you do, you'll receive an email with a list of giveaways available to you this week.

Our Nourishing Relationships giveaway is a copy of our ebook Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals and a chance to also receive a copy of our newest ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.

To receive Courage and Lessons Learned, simply sign up to receive our monthly ezine, Stepping Stones, which is offered to the left of this blog post. Stepping Stones gives you insider information about our monthly Virtual Book Tours as well as informative white papers with practical tips about how to nourish your family relationships without starving yourself.

As always, you are welcome to follow us on twitter and "like" us on our facebook fan page. You'll discover practical tips and strategies for the Sandwich Generation, whether you're coping with stress, acting out teens, aging parents, boomerang kids or difficult daughters-in-law.

If you want to become eligible to also receive a complimentary copy of Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, leave a comment to this blog post, answering the question: "How would you react if you had a adult child who wanted to move back home?" We'll be giving away copies of our ebook - full of white papers about coping in this economy - to 3 lucky winners, chosen at random. Be sure to leave a contact email so we can let you know if you win. You can learn more about Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm on our website, Her Mentor Center. You'll find information, support and direction there to help you manage your family in flux.

Elections and Giveaways

In case you don’t have a TV, haven't been picking up your mail for the past several weeks, and have screened your phone to ignore automatic dials - there's a U.S. election tomorrow! Pundits on both sides have agreed that great changes in the House, the Senate and the Governors' mansions are likely - the only question is how considerable those changes will be. If you'd like your opinion to be considered, be sure to get to the polls in time to have your vote counted.

Women's suffrage was established as a right by the United Nations in 1979 and has been achieved in all U.N. countries except Saudi Arabia. American women have been coming together to make their voices heard in elections ever since they gained the right to vote in 1920, through passage of the 19th Amendment. So join your sisters at the polls tomorrow.

Women have been connecting and sharing their thoughts - about politics as well as their families and themselves - over the years at quilting bees and sewing circles and now the web is providing a new place for networking. We've found a great spot for Moms to bond and showcase their businesses, MomAudience.com. This week they'll be highlighting giveaways to women who join with them.

Be sure to check back on Mom Audience Giveaway on Wednesday, November 3, when you'll find a special gift from Nourishing Relationships and Her Mentor Center.

Q&A with Gary Zukav about his new Book, Spiritual Partnership

Today we are delighted to welcome New York Times best selling author, Gary Zukav, to our blog. Gary is the author of Spiritual Partnership: The Journey to Authentic Power. His book, filled with poignant examples and practical guidance, empowers us to explore our emotions, intentions, choices and intuition, and to use them to create profound spiritual growth. Now see for yourself:
Nourishing Relationships:Please tell us about spiritual partnerships.

Gary Zukav: I am very happy to be a part of your blog and your extended family, and I am very happy to share all that I know about spiritual partnerships and creating authentic power.

Spiritual partnerships are the most fulfilling, substantive, and deep relationships possible. They are relationships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth. Growing spiritually means creating a life of more joy and less pain, more meaning and less emptiness, and more love and less fear. As we become aware of ourselves as more than we once thought that we were – and this is happening to millions of people – we long for relationships that are the most meaningful and rewarding possible, that support us in becoming healthy, vibrant, creative, and loving. These are spiritual partnerships.

N R: I understand your book is about not just couples being in spiritual partnership but that all our relationships can become spiritual partnerships. Will you talk about this more?

G Z: You can create spiritual partnerships within your family, with your friends, your coworkers, your neighbors, and with another individual as a couple. No matter who the spiritual partner or spiritual partners are, the spiritual partnership operates the same way. It is a vehicle that supports the partners in it to become more aware of their emotions, to become more aware of their intentions, and in making the most healthy choices that they can, choices that will create consequences for which they are willing to assume responsibility. My spiritual partner Linda Francis and I have been together for seventeen years. We are married, yet we see our relationship as a spiritual partnership, and we see ourselves as spiritual partners. I am committed to my spiritual growth, and Linda is committed to hers. I am responsible for my spiritual growth, and Linda is responsible for hers. Yet I support her in growing spiritually and she supports me. We began creating spiritual partnerships with our granddaughters when they were 6 and 8.

N R: I have good friendships and I feel that they are spiritual partnerships. How can I tell?

G Z: Friends want to make you feel better when you feel bad. Spiritual partners help you look inside when you feel bad and find the internal source of your pain, such as grief, guilt, depression, etc; and then experience it as fully as you can so that you can challenge and heal it. Friends think that the causes of their pain and happiness are outside of themselves, for example, that they are overwhelmed because they have to much too do, or that they are devastated because a partner left or a child is sick. Your work load, the departed partner, the sick child are triggers of your painful experiences, but they are not the causes of them. The causes of them existed before you had too much to do, your partner left, or your child became ill. The pain is real, but it’s cause is not outside of you. It is inside of you. Friends will try to help you ease your pain or distract you from it, but your spiritual partners will help you find and heal the source of it forever, if you are willing to do that.

N R: What is the relationship between my concerns about getting older and changing my relationships into spiritual partnerships?

G Z: It is natural to become more interested in deep and substantive relationships as you begin to appreciate the complexity and richness of Life, and sense the beauty, compassion, and wisdom in it, even in circumstances that sometimes appear to be tragic. However, the thirst for spiritual growth is everywhere, in every age group, in every culture, and in both sexes. A new consciousness is emerging throughout the human family that will not make any of us more kind or wise, but will eventually make all of us more aware – aware of experiences and dynamics, and compassion and wisdom that the five senses cannot detect – and aware of new potentials. Those are the potentials of authentic power and spiritual partnership.

N R: I love the idea of spiritual partnership, but it is a frightening concept that spiritual partners only stay together as long as they are growing together. Can you explain this further?

G Z: One of the dynamics of spiritual partnership is that spiritual partners remain together as long as they grow spiritually together. Since spiritual partnership is a partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth, if one or more of the partners stops growing spiritually – for example, stops challenging his anger, or her need to please, and refuses to begin again – the reason for the partnership no longer exists, and the partnership will fall apart. Other partners will continue in it, but not that person because his commitment no longer supports theirs (spiritual growth). Is this dynamic of spiritual partnership really frightening to you, or is it frightening to a part of your personality that needs the world to be the way that it wants, and becomes frightened when that does not happen? Creating authentic power is the process of becoming the authority in your own life, more aware and more responsible than you were in the past, and able to challenge the frightened parts of your personality (such as those that are angry, jealous, vengeful, feel entitled, need to please, etc.) and to cultivate the loving parts of your personality (such as those that are grateful, patient, content, appreciative, etc.)

NR: Thanks so much for joining us today, Gary – and for your wisdom and honesty. Your tribute to our most important relationships is like a breath of fresh air.

We’re also grateful to all the readers who have dropped by. Click on the title at the top of this post - that will take you to Gary's website where you can learn more about him and Spiritual Partnership.

If you have questions for Gary concerning his stimulating new ideas about our relationships, please click on "Comments" and let us hear from you. Log on again tomorrow - we’ll be summarizing your questions and Gary’s feedback.

Nourishing Relationships - Literally as Well as Figuratively

Since we write a blog with a name like Nourishing Relationships, you know that we recognize the importance of nurturing - encouraging growth and development. Generally we focus on improving and strengthening family relationships with partners, growing children and aging parents so that everyone can thrive. For many women, a significant part of caregiving involves nourishing their family and friends in a literal way - by preparing food for the body as well as for thought.

Breaking bread with family and friends has gone on since the beginning of societies and communities. Eating together reinforces ties as diners linger over the meal, sharing stories and just enjoying one another. Food is more than just sustenance - it sends a powerful message of love and caring.

As foodies ourselves, we are both always on the lookout for new recipes and exciting presentations. So, over the weekend at a niece's baby shower, I was delighted to meet two engaging young women who blog together about food, sharing recipes with their readers. Danielle and Erin blog at www.crispytarts.blogspot.com and present some mouth-watering recipes - with beautiful pictures to accompany them.
You can stop by their blog and try out some yourself - I'm planning to go for the lemon bars.

What about your own relationship with food? Are you challenged by the perpetual cycle many women encounter - of dieting and then "falling off the wagon?" Remember that you need to take care of yourself before you can successfully take care of others. If you've made lifestyle changes that honor both a healthy body and at the same time the enjoyment of good food, why not share your solutions here? Nourish us with your wisdom!

Looking for just the right nudge to begin making changes in your own life? You'll find practical tips laced in with inspiring stories of strength in our new ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. Simply sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, and you will receive a complimentary copy of the ebook. You'll find the subscription link just to the left of this post or at our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. And a healthful bon appetit!

Creating Successful New Year's Resolutions in 2010

Now that you have decided that you are ready to make a change, planning how to achieve your New Year's resolutions is crucial. Acknowledge your role in the process and focus on the strategies that work for you. As you use these tips to turn your goals into reality, enjoy the satisfaction that comes from your success in 2010 and throughout the decade.

When you click on the title above, it will take you to the Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women, an article in the Nourishing Relationships section of our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. Give yourself permission to take better care of yourself - it will give you the balance you need to make your New Year's resolutions a reality.

The Masks We Wear as Our Kids Grow Up

You deserve the life you want. If you're having problems with changes, in your job, finances or family, take the time to evaluate the situation. Understanding and working through the impact is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

As members of The Sandwich Generation, just like these masks, sometimes you may not know whether to laugh or cry. Handling the responsibilities of a family in flux can be overwhelming - especially when you growing kids are working toward moving out. As they experiment with being more independent and on their own, there can be tension all around. And when communication stalls, you can feel frustrated, even angry.

If you're confused about what to do next, consider seeing a family therapist. The guidance of an expert can make a big difference and talking together can be helpful all around. As you begin to put unfinished business to rest, everyone will be free to express themselves more directly. Then you can decide what family problems to work on and begin to move forward, step by step.

Log on to www.HerMentorCenter.com and go to Nourishing Relationships on the Home Page, where you'll find tips on how to manage family issues. Or click on the title of this post to read an article about Loving Your Kidults by Letting Go.

Amy Dickinson Responds to NourishingRelationships' Readers

Plenty of nourishing relationships' readers and sandwiched boomers tuned in yesterday to take part in our interview with Amy Dickinson. We had a spirited discussion with Amy, author of The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them. Our thanks to Amy for being so generous with her time.

You can still read all of the responses, in full, through yesterday's "comments" link at the bottom of the post. Here's a sampling.

Several Readers had concerns relating to their teenagers:

"I too have a daughter and to get a vote of approval like you did from Emily would shock the hell out of me. She’s only 15 so what you say gives me hope."

"I'm raising two teenage sons alone and sometimes I get frustrated and discouraged. What gives you the strength besides the women in your life?"

"I loved how you get to the heart of the emotion in your book. Your daughter has been in college for a couple of years now, I think - mine will be leaving in a few months. A few words of wisdom?"

Amy's thoughtful replies:

I struggle for words of wisdom about letting a child go when its time to go to college, except to say that if everybody has done their job and the relationship is good and solid, I think it’s easier to let go. I miss my girl but, well, she's happy and as a parent that has always been one of my goals. And we write letters back and forth, which has been nice for us.

I guess I get my strength, if you could call it that, from my faith and my sense of humor, from friends, and from the occasional bottle of wine and box of kleenex. Sometimes, like Scarlett O'Hara, you just have to tear down the drapes and make yourself a new dress. Enlist your sons in the effort to help them raise themselves. And make them help you with the dishes.

Another reader, a nurse asks:

"You write about such serious subjects in your advice column, like the woman today whose classmate attempted to rape her. Do you ever find it hard to leave your work at the office? I'm a critical care nurse and it's often hard for me to clear my head and relax."

Amy here:

It is very hard to leave some of these painful topics behind at the end of the day --especially when a kid writes in with a serious problem. But I'm reminded of something Ann Landers' former editor told me. Ann's words of wisdom on this were something like, "I try to remember that these people's problems aren't my problems. I've got my own problems." That helped. And as a nurse of course you know that in order to do your job, you need to be rested and as non-stressed as possible. Thank you for the important work you do.

Others made comments that reflect Amy's experience as well as their own:

"Having so many wonderful and supportive women around you is a gift. Not all women have that, but for those who don't, creating their own circle is so important. It took me too many years to realize that.

"The energy of women together is always a wonder to behold. How great for you and your daughter to have had that support. I have not read your book therefore ask if your daughter was exposed to any positive male influences as well?"

"Now that your book has been published, is there anything that you would change? Did you omit something that you would include if you were submitting your work for publishing today?"

"I found the interview enlightening and affirming of the wisdom of caring, supportive women. Common sense, sincere interest and the perfect balance of honesty, sensitivity and tact are your hallmarks, Amy. Thank you for sharing that each day in your column. I look forward to reading your book!"

Amy here:

Answering the question about whether I would change anything in my book -- honestly I don't think I would. It's not perfect, but mainly I feel like I said what I set out to say. I feel it's honest and heartfelt, quirky and charming. I still like it when I read it, so that's probably a good sign. Thanks for asking.

Amy mentioned this morning that she's working on another book and appreciates the support of readers -- "this is one of those books that women are passing around and sharing with one another, and that makes me so proud and happy!" Click on the title above to go directly to Amy's website.

If you want more of these sort of events, please add your comments here or email us at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. And visit our website by clicking on the first link on the left below, "Her Mentor Center."

You can sign up for our newsletter, Stepping Stones, by clicking on the link below marked "FREE Newsletter." We publish a monthly newsletter that focuses on helpful strategies for coping with personal and family issues. Our May newsletter gave tips on how mothers-in-law can improve their relationships and learn from President Obama's MIL. Our June Stepping Stones highlighted how Susan Boyle, an unlikely role model, can be a guide to an emphasis on inner beauty and nourishing oneself.

NourishingRelationship and HerMentorCenter Readers Weigh In

Readers of our blog and our website, HerMentorCenter.com, have been having a spirited discussion since yesterday with Patsy Harman, author of "The Blue Cotton Gown." It continues today through the comment section of our blog. Please feel free to keep on sending in your opinions and questions. And our thanks to Patsy for being so generous with her time.

You can still read in full all of the responses that came in through yesterday's "comment" link. Here's a sampling of just some of them:

NR Reader: I loved your book, Patsy, and talking to you as well. Amazed by your candid writing about not only your own reactions regarding your patients, but your own relationship with your rather amazing sounding husband, too . . .a very touching and heartfelt book. Thank you for writing it.

NR Reader: What was the nicest experience you had with one of your patients? How about the scariest one?

PH: Recently a patient told me she really liked my book, "The Blue Cotton Gown"...This was the best review I ever got...I laughed, I cried, I was inspired. Is that sweet or what? The worst experience I've had...too many to mention. Babies that died, teens that overdosed, women that were abused. It is a hard world out there. I do what I can. Patsy

NR Reader: I've been wanting to go back to school to study for a degree in nutrition but I'm afraid that I'm too old. How old were you when you went back to school to become a midwife? Was it hard to compete with younger students? Could you keep up with all the reading and the assignments? I worry that I will become overwhelmed by my classes and not be able to set aside the time I need to concentrate on them with all that is going on in my family life. How did you make it work for you?

PH: I had three kids. I was 37 when I went back to become an RN and graduated with my masters when I was 41. Midwifery is really physically demanding, but I have a lot of energy so I was ok. I also love to study.

If you haven't been in school for a while, I would just look up the courses that are part of the major you are interested in. Maybe take a few classes at a community college. I bet you will do fine. You might even do better than some of the younger students because they are out partying. Never give up on your dreams. Patsy

PH: The life of a working mother is really stressful and with the economic crisis in the US and the rest of the world it's not getting better for any of us, guys included. We need to give each other all the support we can. Peace, Patsy

If you want to have more of these kinds of sessions, please add your comments here or email us at mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. And visit our website by clicking on either the title above or on the first link on the left below, "Her Mentor Center."

You can sign up for our newsletter, Stepping Stones, by clicking on the link below marked "FREE Newsletter." We send subscribers a monthly newsletter that focuses on helpful strategies for coping with personal and family issues - especially in these trying times. Our May newsletter gave tips about how mothers-in-law can improve their relationships and learn from President Obama's MIL. Our June Stepping Stones will highlight how Susan Boyle, an unlikely role model, can be a guide to an emphasis on inner beauty and nourishing oneself.

Diverse Women

Visiting the Veterans Cemetery yesterday to honor our brave servicemen and women, I was struck by the diversity of the names on the graves. Men and women from all kinds of backgrounds had served and died together through the years and are forever joined together in this burial ground. While we continue to struggle today with enriching our country by such diversity - ethnic, gender, religious, social, economic - our troops have already learned that they can count on each other, no matter what their origins are. Nowhere is the view of the United States as a melting pot - or tossed salad - more visible than at a veterans' cemetery.

This inclusion of varied personal circumstances and experiences is reflected in the news today. Judge Sonia Sotomayor has been chosen by President Obama to replace Justice David Souter on the Supreme Court. If confirmed by Congress, she will become the third female justice chosen to serve on the Court, the second woman on the current Court. Now an Appeals Court judge, Sotomayor will be the first justice of Hispanic descent, having a Puerto Rican heritage. Raised by a widowed mother, her credentials include an undergraduate degree from Princeton and a law degree from Yale. Her nomination signals an emphasis on including qualified minorities in our nation's structure.

As a woman, maybe even a Sandwiched Boomer, facing your own challenges on a daily basis, caring for aging parents and growing children, what message does her nomination send? Can you too draw on your strengths as you struggle to make your personal mark? Let us hear from you, at HerMentorCenter.com or here at NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com, about what this nomination means to you.

Today other unique women with different backgrounds are also in the news - over the weekend, Susan Boyle made it to the finals of the "Britain's Got Talent" competition, singing "Memories" from Cats and Amelia Earhart, brought to life by Amy Adams, soared in "Night at the Museum," which was number one at the box office. Can you use these women as your role models as you develop the resilience to thrive after facing your own challenges and difficulties? To get some tips about how to do just this, click on the title above to take you to our article on Susan Boyle.