Caring for the Caregiver

If you're a member of the Sandwich Generation, you want to care for those you care about. But, at times, the emotional stress of nurturing multiple generations can be overwhelming. There are demands from every direction and you often have too little time, too little money, and too little help.

Photo courtesy of gbaku - flickr.com

The best way to have patience and compassion for your aging parents and growing kids is learn to be patient and compassionate with yourself. Here are tips on how to do just that:

Balance for the caregiver. Find a happy medium between your responsibilities to others and to yourself. Take a break for a long walk, a nap or a yoga class. Spend time with a friend who makes you smile. Release tension by watching a sitcom or a funny movie. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins and a good mood helps you make better decisions.

Embrace change. As you set goals and move toward them, continue an active process of getting to know your true self. Write about your passions as well as what you really value, care about and want. An unused journal won't help make your dreams come true but a well loved and often used one might do just that.

Start a play revolution. Think about your fondest memories of playing as a child. There must be similar activities you could integrate into your life right now. How can you reconnect to your creative and playful side? And how far are you willing to go outside your comfort zone? Just imagine the potential benefits to your physical health, level of happiness and feelings of wellbeing.

Build resilience. Although you can't prevent what happens to you, you can have some control over how you handle it. Work on changing your mindset. If you reframe your pessimistic thoughts, you can turn anxiety into energy. A good attitude can make a difference, so look for the lessons in what you're going through.

This month, as we celebrate you, Sandwich Generation caregivers, try to love yourself. If you don’t feel that you have control over your life, set limits that work for you. And let others lend a helping hand and give back some of the love you deserve.

Finding Peace of Mind

Want to experience a sacred space in your hectic daily life? If technology now has the upper hand, begin to disconnect and find moments of mental tranquility. What follows are some tips on how to decrease your stress.

Begin to journal. Unplug your electronic devices, pick up a pen and start to write. Putting thoughts out of your mind and onto paper gets rid of the noise in your head. By not censoring yourself, you can tap into your unconscious. Writing is cathartic and allows you to release pent up feelings. It’s a great process to help regulate your negative emotions and savor your positive ones.

Consider new priorities. Get out from behind your computer and open up to more meaningful experiences. Trust what you discover - direct ways to resolve conflict, to feel closer, to express yourself. Build actual relationships and feel a real sense of support and connection. You'll have time to take a walk or have coffee with a friend. Enjoy a face to face meeting or business lunch instead of a webinar. And make a commitment to no texting during family time together.

Embrace change. Stop focusing on status updates of friends and mandate time to reconnect with you. Relax and rejuvenate to increase self awareness and tap into your dreams. Get in touch with what you really care about and value. If you take a much needed vacation, you’ll return with a different perspective and renewed excitement. Think about what’s holding you back from living the life you want and begin to pursue goals that are right for you.

Of course technology is here to stay – what would we do without data access? But you’ll give yourself a priceless gift by developing stress relievers to counteract burnout. And take heart as you embrace the calm of the present moment.

Getting Back on Track

Whether you're actually driving on a curvy road or trying to navigate the twists and turns of life, you don't always get the advance warning sign of a risk ahead.

Do these unforeseen hazards sound familiar? You've just gotten your finances under control when you bite down on an olive pit and break off part of a tooth. How will you fit the cost of a crown into your budget now? Or you've worked hard to make your new exercise routine a habit - but over-doing it, you've torn a muscle that will take months to heal. So now you're back on the couch, trying to regroup. And the diet that you followed so successfully after the holidays was thrown away with the arrival of your weekend guests. Will you be able to get back on track once they leave?

When these kinds of threats materialize, they can put your carefully worked out plans in jeopardy. What can you do to meet these challenges and move ahead? Here are two tips to guide you in turning setbacks into opportunities:

Act as if you are committed. Make a plan outlining the objectives you need to meet in order to accomplish realistic goals. You're more likely to succeed when you are optimistic and enthusiastic about working to bring your aspirations to reality and give yourself reinforcements along the way to motivate you. Draw on your strengths - both personal and spiritual - as you act to break through barriers. Use all the support and resources available to bolster your own efforts.

Have a Plan B ready for flexibility. Your path will not likely be a straight line but you don't have to be defeated by your slip-ups if you've worked out a contingency Plan B ahead of time. Now take the opportunity to brainstorm novel ways of getting to your goal and continue to refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. When your reactions are not set in stone, you can improvise along the way as you discover what works best and then modify your behavior based on the feedback you get.

There may be limits to what you can accomplish but give yourself permission to begin the process without expecting perfection in your results. Especially if you're a sandwiched boomer, faced with the responsibilities of growing children and aging parents, these tips can help develop the resiliency you need to thrive.

With the price of gas going up and up, you may not be doing much driving right now, but when you do, here's to the joy of an open road - without dangerous curves or hidden perils.

Journaling in the New Year

With this just the first week of 2012, your new year's resolutions may still be fresh in your mind. But as Sandwiched Boomers, caring for aging parents and growing kids, chances are that won’t last. Writing down your goals and intentions in a journal can help clarify them. And checking your list regularly will help you stay motivated. Here are some ideas as you begin to explore the journaling process:

Photo courtesy of eblaser - Flickr.com

Identify your strengths. Create an assets inventory or a list of your accomplishments as a way to appreciate yourself. What are your natural talents? What comes so easily you often don't notice it? And what about the acquired skills you’ve used successfully? Mark this page and, when you're feeling vulnerable, review it.

Make a gratitude list. This can be a reminder of what is good in your life. Consider how positively others view you and the ways you support them. Who sees you as a role model and why? What in your life experience has led you to wisdom? Remember to honor these insights.

Embrace change. As you move toward your goals, continue an active process of getting to know your true self. Write about what you really value, care about and want - your dreams and passions? An empty journal won't help make your dreams come true but a well loved and often used one might do just that.

Journaling gives perspective and restores sanity. It can be a lifeline as well as a record.

Writing by hand can activate the mind/body connection. It gets you past the obvious and underneath the surface. And it lets you delve into issues and untangle messes. Studies show that journaling keeps you healthy by releasing mental toxins and deepening awareness. You’ll see, there’s something magical about putting pen to paper, regardless of who you are.

Thinking About Your New Year's Resolutions

Now that you've made the exchanges in your Christmas or Chanukah gifts, do you think it's time to begin thinking about the changes you want to make in yourself this coming New Year?

You may have your own unique list of improvements you want to make - stop smoking, lose some extra pounds, exercise more, live a healthier lifestyle, spend quality time with family and friends. No matter what makes up your set of New Year's Resolutions, change is never easy. If you're wondering what can help you take that first step, here are some ideas to keep in mind as you get started:

Photo courtesy of husin.sani - Flickr.com

Be open to trying something new. Let your creativity flourish as you open yourself up to new possibilities. You can strive for something that may have eluded your grasp in the past. Search for a different way to get to where you want to be.

Keep your resolutions realistic. When you honestly believe that you can attain your target, you'll work harder to move in that direction. Setting overly ambitious, idealistic targets that you're unlikely to reach can stop you cold even before you begin.

Break your goals down into smaller parts that you can complete, one at a time. Baby steps taken one after another will transport you a long distance. You'll feel freer to continue knowing that each objective is within your reach.

Visualize yourself accomplishing each objective you set. Athletes are more successful after envisioning themselves playing well. When you create a picture in your mind of going through each step you need to succeed, you'll find that the process is easier to finish.

As you likely know, making the commitment to change is only the first part of actually achieving your goals. It can be difficult to stay on track and backsliding often becomes an issue. But you don't have to do it alone. Visit our blog often in 2012 for practical tips to help you stay motivated and chart your progress as you move forward toward accomplishing your New Year's resolutions. When you reach your target, you'll recognize that all your hard work was well worth it.

Our very best to you for a safe and happy, healthy New Year as we welcome in 2012.

Raising Kids - Little Athletes, Big Leaders

"To score on and off the field, your child must first have clear goals and the will, knowledge, and discipline to attain them," says Bruce Beaton. He's a Canadian Football League All-Star, two-time Grey Cup winner and author of Little Athletes Big Leaders: Effective Sports Parenting.

I love this book, being the grandma of five boys, all involved in one sport or another. I spend a lot of time cheering on the sidelines of baseball diamonds, soccer fields, basketball courts. Trust me, Beaton, with his in-depth and honest approach, has written the go-to guide for parents who want to raise kids to be leaders in youth sports and beyond.

Benton says, "Children generally model what they see, and react less effectively to what they hear, especially when the two contradict. Why not set a goal to teach children by example, and then use your voice to question, guide, and connect?" As a role model for your kids, this may be reinforcing what you already know or a wake-up call.

Beaton warns parents not to be negative with their sports parenting. "Our positive talk will become their positive self-talk, and we will create an enthusiastic athlete who loves the entire learning experience." He encourages parents to notice and comment often on their kids' hard work, team spirit, persistence, winning attitude.

Purposeful daily work is the key to forging strong character. And practice leads to mastery and self confidence. Benton writes, "You can teach them that focusing on a proven, effective approach, rather than dwelling on short term results, is the key to both peak performance and long term success. The expectation is simply for them to do their best every day in order to be the best they are capable of being."

If you're a parent, remember that little eyes are watching and little ears are listening. Your children see potential through your eyes, create connections through your hands and discover opportunity through your choices. You are the filter through which your kids learn how to get along with others and how to make a difference in the world. Help them build their character and skills while they build their goals and dreams. On Bruce's website, you can read more about him, his ideas and his book.

Sandwiched Boomers: Our Gift to You

Just for today, please indulge us in a stroll down memory lane. It's been 10 years since we published our first Stepping Stones newsletter and 5 years that we've been blogging here at Nourishing Relationships.

Early on we discovered that the Internet was like the Wild West and we joined with other pioneers to build a thriving community. We've met some incredible women through our work and want to share narratives they wrote for issues of the newsletter, some dating way back to 2001.

Read about joys and struggles of family life:

stepmother survival tips
kitchen dancing
the loss of a love

And about women who took a big step beyond their comfort zone:

doing what you love
self discovery at 52
a pilgrimage

We want you to know, dear readers, that we appreciate you! Even though we often don't hear from you directly, the statistics show that you're stopping by and reading the posts. As a gift for your loyalty, please download these complimentary eBooks and feel free to share them with your friends:

Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals

Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success

If interersted, sign the email list to the left of this post to receive our monthly newsletter. And if you have your own story to tell or a family issue you want to discuss, we're listening. Just click on 'comments' below and start writing. Or email us at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com.

What Costa Rica Can Teach Us About Family Values

I'm just back from Costa Rica, a small Central American country where peace of mind is a natural commodity. Visiting there felt like a breath of fresh air with it's slow pace of life and ecological mindfulness. The country has no need for a military presence and family life is a top priority.

World events like the turmoil in the Middle East and the devastating crisis in Japan continue to impact our gas, food and transportation costs. High unemployment, compounded by foreclosures and homelessness for families, contributes to the slow economic recovery. And multi-generational households increase as families move in together to alleviate financial concerns. For many Sandwiched Boomers, the loss of retirement funds is accompanied by feeling less secure now and less hopeful about the future.

It may be hard, but find the fortitude to face the situation squarely and see this as a teachable moment. Talking with your children about what you expect from them and the limits you need to impose at this time can be eye-opening. If you're concerned about where our society is headed, it's time to put off immediate gratification and bring family values back to the foreground:

Don't forget where you came from. Dig deep to find your roots and try to understand who you are and what you want. Figure out how you can care for your family and still nurture yourself. Set some concrete and specific long-range goals about what you need for you and what you want to accomplish for your family. Identify short-term objectives as you work toward achieving these, step by step.

Make family a priority. Love them and tell them so on a regular basis. Place great value on parenting, it's one of your most important responsibilities. As knowledge is power, appreciate the transitions your own family is going through now. And get more information about how to manage change from the Internet and self-help section of your local bookstore. Talk to friends and family whose opinions you respect and who have gone through similar experiences. It's a chance to get realistic feedback and concrete advice.

Character matters, as does your family. During these difficult times you represent hope for them. Click on "Comments" below to let us know what you're doing to make life a little easier. And log on here Wednesday for more practical tips.

You can sign our email list to the left of this post to receive a free monthly newsletter, "Stepping Stones," and to download a complimentary ebook, "Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals."

How to Fight Inertia

As Sandwiched Boomers, chances are you're bombarded daily by challenges with aging parents and growing children. You may also be trying to balance home and work responsibilities. And that's without your commitment to stay healthy, lose weight and exercise regularly. Just thinking about your hectic lifestyle can stop you in your tracks. If this is your life and you're feeling the time crunch, follow these guidelines.

Photo by Nuttakit

Make a start, any start. Buy a journal or borrow one of the notebooks your child isn't using and do your homework. Write out some specific long term goals and break these down into smaller, more manageable short term objectives. Begin with the one that seems easiest to implement and take the first step. Don't forget to consider the character strengths and personal resources you have that will help you achieve your goals.


Create weekly or even daily to-do lists. For example, if a regular exercise program is your ultimate goal, begin by penciling in a 20 minute walk twice a week after carpool or during your lunch hour. Organization and planning may sound like dirty words. But the more you concretize what you plan to do, the greater the chances are that you'll follow through with your intentions.

Give yourself a break and see what happens. Let go of any negative thoughts about yourself in relation to getting stuff done. Actively dispute the idea that you are lazy, apathetic or can't get a handle on the process. Choose a simple mantra that rings true for you - such as 'yes I can' - and repeat it often.

Sign the email list to the left of this post to receive a free monthly newsletter, "Stepping Stones" and download a complimentary ebook about how to reach your goals. And log on Wednesday for more tips about fighting inertia.

Role Models on Presidents Day

Presidents Day, honoring George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, reminds us to look to strong role models for inspiration. Mount Rushmore, in the Black Hills of South Dakoka, memorializes Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt. These men reflect goals to strive for - courage, freedom, compassion and conservation, among others.

But you don't have to look only to U.S. Presidents for motivation and guidance. In the past here on our blog, we've focused on many role models, both for ourselves and for our children. They can stir us to greater efforts and success in our family, community and work lives.

When Randy Pausch learned that he had terminal cancer, he gave and then wrote The Last Lecture as a guide for living rather than dying. He stressed the importance of living each day fully, striving to achieve dreams and expressing gratitude for those gifts that you have. He encouraged his students, children and readers to stretch and take creative risks as they reached for goals.

Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and singer Susan Boyle have pursued careers about as different as they can be. Yet they are both role models of courage for women who have a dream and work hard to accomplish their goals. The mother of a toddler, Dara believed she wasn't too old to compete in the Olympics in her 40's and defied the odds by winning 3 more medals in Beijing. Susan was 48 and unknown when she competed on Britain's Got Talent, stunning the audience with her powerful voice. A short eight months later she had the world's best selling album of the year, with 9 million copies purchased. As our blog post indicates, both women successfully created their personal best through dedication and drive.

A teacher at heart, John Wooden was a life coach incarnate, not just a basketball coach. The Pyramid of Success he created for the men's UCLA basketball team works just as well for women balancing family and work life. His home grown aphorisms - Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do; Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are - can motivate you to work toward your personal best in any area of your life.

Elizabeth Edwards was a source of inspiration for many, fighting to maintain her dignity as she battled breast cancer and sought to protect her children. In an interview shortly before her death, she said that she wanted to be remembered as someone who stood in the storm and, when the wind didn't blow her way, adjusted her sails. You can read more about how Elizabeth Edwards took charge of defining her life by reading our blog post after her death.

Syndicated columnist Amy Dickinson, known as "Ask Amy," writes about the value of using other women as her role models and support in her book, The Mighty Queens of Freeville. For more insight about how we can empower ourselves and prevail through tough times by learning from our women friends and family, read how Amy answered our questions during her Virtual Book Tour on our blog.

Just a few of other role models we've blogged about are those women who return to the workforce and those who use their personal strengths as a means of centering themselves.

If you are looking for some more positive role models for success, look over other past blogs and be sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones. When you do, you'll receive our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find inspiration there to make this the best time of life.

And please visit our blog again on Wednesday, February 23 when we welcome Pamela Madsen for a Virtual Book Tour. She'll be discussing her new book, SHAMELESS: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner.

Tips for Less Stress

In our fast paced world, Valentine's Day is already a fading memory. If you're single, that may be a relief. Although you can't control whether or not you have a romantic relationship, you can control how you manage your life. When you realize that you always have lots of choices, it's easier to take your stress level down a notch:


Photos by Salvatore Vuono


Give back some love. Do you have a relative or neighbor who could use a visit or phone call? Go outside your normal routine and get in touch with someone you've been meaning to call - it could brighten the day for both of you. Studies show that when you shift attention away from yourself to others, you actually feel better.

Volunteer your time. Nothing makes the day more special than a good deed. And the payback of altruism or giving back can help you see the situation from a much better perspective. Spending the day in a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter helps those in need, increases your connections and can improver your sense of self.

Let go of bad feelings and think positive. If you continue to feel frustrated, angry or disappointed, remember that a minor change in attitude can make a big difference in how you relate to others. According to Indira Gandhi, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." Try to find humor in your situation and fall back on laughter.

Focus on a relationship plan. If it's what you want, you can define objectives that will move you in that direction. Tell those you trust that you would appreciate being fixed up. Make a list of what you expect in a partner and what changes you may be willing to make. Join a singles group or a dating website. Take whatever steps you think are vital to improve your chances.

Relax and rejuvenate to relieve stress. Attend to your mind and your spirit. Practice techniques of deep breathing or your own form of meditation. And set aside quiet time to do what brings you pleasure. Nurture yourself and your body through regular exercise, good nutrition and proper rest. This sort of attitude will sustain you as well as promote greater self care.

Give yourself the priceless gift of a life less stressed. Spend some time on Her Mentor Center and read articles that are full of tips just for you. Sign the email list to the left of this post to receive a free monthly newsletter - and then download a complimentary ebook about how to reach your goals.

Mark the calendar as the first day of the rest of your life. Commit to keeping your worry in check and maintaining balance in your life. As you savor your newfound power, cast a love spell in celebration of you.

How to Sustain Your 2011 Resolutions

Keeping your resolutions can sometimes feel like climbing a mountain. Like these boys, make sure your goals are accessible. And don't forget to stop from time to time and note your progress. Track your growth. Notice each small success you make toward reaching your goals. It's easier to reach short-term objectives and small accomplishments will help you stay motivated. For example, instead of being focused on competing in a marathon, begin by jogging a couple of times a week.

Reward yourself. This doesn't mean eating apple pie and ice cream if your goal is to lose weight. Celebrate your success by treating yourself to an activity that doesn't undermine your resolution. If you've been sticking to your objective of eating better, your reward can be a movie or museum date with a friend.

Stick to it. Obsessing about the occasional slip won't help you achieve your goal. Do the best you can and take one day at a time. Be patient as you let a new activity, like exercising regularly, become a habit. And before long, your new healthy routine will become second nature to you.

Keep trying. If you run out of steam by mid-February, don't despair. Start all over again - set another goal to get your body in better shape. There's no reason you can't make a new resolution any time of the year.

Joining a gym or a weight loss program is the easy part but continuing to show up is the bigger challenge. Now that you have some new strategies to implement, resolve to turn your ambitions into year-long healthy lifestyle changes.

For additional support, join the email list to the left of this post and receive a fr** monthly newsletter. And as an extra bonus, you can download our complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals.

Tips to Keep Your 2011 Resolutions Going Strong

Gift yourself in 2011 - just like this little guy, enjoy the moment and new discoveries. Try to find mystery and wonder in the simple pleasures.Keep this in mind as the new year begins. Are you setting new goals? It's common practice, and the majority fall into the categories of losing weight, smoking cessation and starting an exercise program. But even more common is the tendency to break New Year's resolutions. Research suggests that the longterm success rate is only around 20%. Chances are, at some time, you've been a part of this statistic. How can you stop the cycle of resolving to make change, but then not following through? Here are some strategies that may help:

Be realistic. Strive for a goal that is reasonable and attainable. Instead of resolving to never again eat the fattening foods you love, avoid them more often than you do now. Choose practical solutions that you will be help you succeed.

Outline your plan and have a backup. If you decide to stop smoking, how will you deal with the temptation to have one more cigarette? What about calling on a friend for support or participating in a pleasurable activity instead. Or practice positive thinking and visualize a healthier body. Know that you'll cough less, breathe easier and be able to exercise more.

Talk about it. Don't keep your new goal a secret. Find a friend who shares your resolve and continue to motivate each other. Find support through a smoking cessation program or join a weight loss group. Tell family members who can be there to talk you through the tough times.

Log on Wednesday for more ideas about how to keep your resolutions going strong. In the meantime, HerMentorCenter.com has lots of articles to read in 'Family Relationships' and the 'Newsletter Library.' Or sign our email list to the left of this post to download a complimentary ebook on how to reach your goals and for a free monthly newsletter full of practical tips.

Focus on Your Assets

With the New Year approaching, do you think it's too late to start making lists and outlining dramatic changes for yourself? Novelist Mary Anne Evans (AKA George Eliot) wisely advised, It is never too late to be what you might have been. So decide what you want to be and then begin the process to make it happen in 2011.

And just in case you've had trouble in the past taking the first step toward change, our article Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia, available on our website, Her Mentor Center, gives you suggestions for overcoming these hurdles.

Here are some more practical tips to help you focus on the positive qualities you possess and how you can apply them:

Engage in an active process of getting to know your true self and what you want to do. Think about what you would see if you held up a mirror to your inner self. What nurtures your creative thinking? What stimulates your curiosity? What do you really value and care about? What are your dreams and passions? When you can honestly answer these questions for yourself, you can begin to identify what is your life purpose. Only then can you go about achieving it.

How would you like to share your "assets" with others? Your expertise can be directed to giving back to those in need, to the next generation, to the community, country, world. Begin to practice small acts of kindness – let a harried mother go ahead of you in the grocery line, give up the parking space to an elderly gentleman, smile at the sales clerk who looks like she’s having a bad day. At this stressful holiday time, your thoughtfulness and consideration can mean even more to those around you.

Just as you would calculate liabilities as well as assets when determining your financial net worth, you can look at the areas that you would like to enhance in your personal life. This provides a focus for your actions toward self-improvement. Let 2011 become the beginning of changes that you have been planning to make but never quite began before.

After you identify your strengths and the direction you want to take, start to develop a concrete plan of action you can follow. Establish short-term objectives that will move you, step by step, toward the long-term goals you have set for yourself. Whether you're dealing with growing children, aging parents or your own self-discovery, create your personal vision for 2011 using your newly completed asset inventory.

For more insight and tips about achieving the goals you set for yourself in 2011 check out our article, 8 Strategies to Turn Your New Year's Resolutions into Reality.

And if you want to get a running start on dealing with the pressures of the weak economy in 2011, you can purchase our ebook, TAKING CONTROL OF STRESS IN A FINANCIAL STORM: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.

Complimentary Ebook on How to Reach Your Goals

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K?

When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder:

How do I access my strengths?
What can help me grow?
Who will I be then?

If you want answers to these questions, sign our email list to the left, just below this post. And accept these gifts from us - receive our free monthly email newsletter, Stepping Stones, and download our free Ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals.

In this Ebook, you'll find stories about people whose names you probably recognize - Captain Sully Sullenberger, Susan Boyle, Senator Ted Kennedy - as well as practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try them on and see how they can work for you.

Senator Ted Kennedy and Reaching Your Goals

To finish up our week about having the courage to create the life you want, we use Senator Ted Kennedy as an example. No matter what challenges he faced, he never took his eye off the goal.

Kennedy's life was marred by tragedy and scandal - from the assassination of brothers John and Robert and the earlier death of his brother Joseph in World War II, to the deadly Chappaquiddick crash. Despite his personal losses and failings, Kennedy persevered. He served alongside 10 United States presidents and was well known for his political insight. Another significant role he played was as patriarch to his brothers' children and grandchildren.

You, too, can gain perspective, whether you're hit in the face with a crisis or making a slow transition into the next chapter of your life. Expect a cascade of feelings - anxiety, the desire to hold on, resentment, sadness, fear, even a sense of freedom. The emotional roller coaster ride is normal. If you have the fortitude to step back, take a deep breath and face the situation squarely, you can't help but grow from the challenges.

An article in Time called Senator Kennedy one of the greatest legislators in American history. You may not want to run for political office, but are you ready to take the first step toward a new goal? Sign our email list to the left of this post and download a complimentart ebook with practical strategies that can help you do it. Here's to the courage to begin re-writing your own story.

Revisiting the Courage of Captain Sully Sullenberger

As members of the sandwich generation, you may have your hands full with the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. But that's no reason to neglect what you need.

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K? When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder: How do I access my strengths? What can help me grow? Who will I be then?

There are a lot of people we can look to who have had the courage to reach deep inside and make something happen. Take, for example, Captain Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger, the pilot who landed the passenger jet on the Hudson River. Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales - are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we want to feel hopeful again.

Learn to be as prepared as possible ahead of time. Sullenberger was ready. He's a former air force fighter pilot, an expert in safety reliability methods and has 40 years of flying experience. Although you may not need training for an emergency landing, you can become equipped for what lies ahead. If you're making an important presentation at work, setting guidelines for your kidult who can't find a job and is moving back home or talking to your dad about giving up the car keys, learn as much as you can about the issues. Research the subject, write out talking points and get feedback from those whose opinions you value.

This week on the blog we'll be writing short vignettes about people whose names you probably recognize. In their stories, you’ll find practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try on these strategies and see how they can work for you.

If you want to read more about Captain Sullenberger and his remarkable act of courage, sign the email list to the left of this post and download our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. And if you would like to stay in touch with him, you can follow Sully on his Facebook page.

Earth Day Plus One - Now What?

Earth Day was yesterday. So what do we call today?

In the heat of the moment, enthusiasm for making a change - protecting the earth, creating better family relationships, making the world a better place, loosing those stubborn extra pounds - can be great. But what happens the next day? How can you build on your decision to improve? How do you actually vary your routine and transform yourself? Inspiration is not enough - now you need to implement your choice in a clear and definite way. Here are 8 tips on how to go about it:

Acknowledge your ability to change. Recognize that there may be limits to what you can accomplish but that you can take it one baby step at a time. Give yourself permission to begin the process by setting a realistic goal and without expecting perfection in your results.

Write out specific goals for yourself and break them down into smaller, more manageable short-term objectives. Set up a timeline for tackling each task. The more you formulate your plans and establish concrete steps, the greater the likelihood that you will follow up on them.

List your personal resources and inner strengths - they will help you attain your objectives and eventually achieve your goals. Draw on them as you have when you made other changes in your life.

Make a public commitment to the change you are pursuing. This will help you take yourself and your decision seriously and increase your motivation to continue the process even when you face barriers along the way.

Maintain your energy by rewarding yourself for each objective you accomplish even as you keep your focus on the future goals you are striving toward. Positive reinforcement will keep you motivated to continue your process of change.

Draw on the support of family and friends. They want you to succeed and will give you the help you need. Join with others who have similar goals - having someone share your journey makes the whole process more enjoyable.

Don't beat yourself up when you backslide. Change can be overwhelming and you need to be patient with yourself. Refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. Have a Plan B ready and continue to improvise as you discover what works best for you.

Enjoy the satisfaction and feelings of power that come from making real changes. You've earned it! And you can use your new skill set to achieve success in other areas of your life as well. If you're a Sandwiched Boomer, resolve to use these tips to take better care of yourself.

Want more tips for making lasting changes? Sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. Look to the left of this post to subscribe - and begin a new day.

Sandwich Generation: Resolve to Pay Attention

Whether you're a member of the sandwich generation or not, changes in your love relationship are like any personal change - to be successful long term, you need a clear idea of what you want and a good reason to keep going. What follows are some final tips to help you achieve your 2010 relationship goals:

Celebrate good times. Respond enthusiastically when something positive happens to your partner. Make the most of it by asking relevant questions and being complimentary. Studies have found that celebrating positive events predicts greater relationship satisfaction than commiserating over negative ones.

Stay engaged. It's easy to get stuck in a routine and not notice the changes going on around you. Paying attention to what's different about your partner may surprise you, as well as increase your attraction, motivation and connection.

Bring out the best in each other. Studies show that when partners more closely resemble each other's ideal selves, they fare better as a couple. List your personal goals and the qualities you like most in your significant other. Chances are there's an overlap between the self you aspire to and the aspects of your partner that you appreciate the most.

Although improving your partnership may seem overwhelming sometimes, it's really the little things that matter. Expensive gifts and exotic trips are nice, but they're not as meaningful in the long run as simple acts of gratitude and kindness. Long after you've opened the last present or downloaded the vacation photos, that reservoir of goodwill will keep nourishing your relationship. Commit to sustaining your 2010 love resolutions – you won't regret it.

Creating Successful New Year's Resolutions in 2010

Now that you have decided that you are ready to make a change, planning how to achieve your New Year's resolutions is crucial. Acknowledge your role in the process and focus on the strategies that work for you. As you use these tips to turn your goals into reality, enjoy the satisfaction that comes from your success in 2010 and throughout the decade.

When you click on the title above, it will take you to the Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women, an article in the Nourishing Relationships section of our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. Give yourself permission to take better care of yourself - it will give you the balance you need to make your New Year's resolutions a reality.