Sandwiched Boomer, Nurture Yourself

These are tough times, especially if you're a card carrying member of the sandwich generation. If you're facing the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up, don't forget to nurture you. Because if you're run down, who will care for your family? For a moment, enjoy this photo of the sunset on a Costa Rican beach. And tonight, take the time to relax and appreciate the sunset right outside your door.

Whether you're hit in the face with a crisis, adjusting to changes in your identity or making a slow transition into the next chapter of your life, expect a cascade of feelings - anxiety, the desire to hold on, resentment, sadness, fear, eventually a sense of freedom. The emotional roller coaster is normal. But if you find the courage, you can't help but grow from the challenges.

Past is prologue. How can you prepare for what lies ahead? As you look back, how have you dealt with major changes in your family life before? Think about what has worked in the past. Take the specific strategies that you learned from those experiences and, once again, apply the most effective ones to the challenges you are facing today. A positive attitude will motivate you to stay on track and ultimately reach your goals.

Find something to believe in. Is it strong faith, a spiritual path or confidence in yourself? Look at the ways you can continue to build on your internal and external assets. Evaluate your character strengths and how they have benefited you in other circumstances. Are you fiercely curious and determined to find a solution, no matter what? Discover the resources, such as caregiver programs or support groups, which will help you make decisions as you deal with the specifics of the family problems you are handling.

Recognize the importance of support. When you are facing what may be a difficult time, find a role model who encourages you. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Talking with others can clarify your needs as you work through these changes. Getting an objective opinion from a family therapist or life coach will provide you with further insight and direction.

Take a step back and you'll see the situation from a different perspective. And listening to your inner voice can help you focus on what's important as you integrate your values into how you live your life.

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What Costa Rica Can Teach Us About Family Values

I'm just back from Costa Rica, a small Central American country where peace of mind is a natural commodity. Visiting there felt like a breath of fresh air with it's slow pace of life and ecological mindfulness. The country has no need for a military presence and family life is a top priority.

World events like the turmoil in the Middle East and the devastating crisis in Japan continue to impact our gas, food and transportation costs. High unemployment, compounded by foreclosures and homelessness for families, contributes to the slow economic recovery. And multi-generational households increase as families move in together to alleviate financial concerns. For many Sandwiched Boomers, the loss of retirement funds is accompanied by feeling less secure now and less hopeful about the future.

It may be hard, but find the fortitude to face the situation squarely and see this as a teachable moment. Talking with your children about what you expect from them and the limits you need to impose at this time can be eye-opening. If you're concerned about where our society is headed, it's time to put off immediate gratification and bring family values back to the foreground:

Don't forget where you came from. Dig deep to find your roots and try to understand who you are and what you want. Figure out how you can care for your family and still nurture yourself. Set some concrete and specific long-range goals about what you need for you and what you want to accomplish for your family. Identify short-term objectives as you work toward achieving these, step by step.

Make family a priority. Love them and tell them so on a regular basis. Place great value on parenting, it's one of your most important responsibilities. As knowledge is power, appreciate the transitions your own family is going through now. And get more information about how to manage change from the Internet and self-help section of your local bookstore. Talk to friends and family whose opinions you respect and who have gone through similar experiences. It's a chance to get realistic feedback and concrete advice.

Character matters, as does your family. During these difficult times you represent hope for them. Click on "Comments" below to let us know what you're doing to make life a little easier. And log on here Wednesday for more practical tips.

You can sign our email list to the left of this post to receive a free monthly newsletter, "Stepping Stones," and to download a complimentary ebook, "Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals."