Role Models on Presidents Day

Presidents Day, honoring George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, reminds us to look to strong role models for inspiration. Mount Rushmore, in the Black Hills of South Dakoka, memorializes Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt. These men reflect goals to strive for - courage, freedom, compassion and conservation, among others.

But you don't have to look only to U.S. Presidents for motivation and guidance. In the past here on our blog, we've focused on many role models, both for ourselves and for our children. They can stir us to greater efforts and success in our family, community and work lives.

When Randy Pausch learned that he had terminal cancer, he gave and then wrote The Last Lecture as a guide for living rather than dying. He stressed the importance of living each day fully, striving to achieve dreams and expressing gratitude for those gifts that you have. He encouraged his students, children and readers to stretch and take creative risks as they reached for goals.

Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and singer Susan Boyle have pursued careers about as different as they can be. Yet they are both role models of courage for women who have a dream and work hard to accomplish their goals. The mother of a toddler, Dara believed she wasn't too old to compete in the Olympics in her 40's and defied the odds by winning 3 more medals in Beijing. Susan was 48 and unknown when she competed on Britain's Got Talent, stunning the audience with her powerful voice. A short eight months later she had the world's best selling album of the year, with 9 million copies purchased. As our blog post indicates, both women successfully created their personal best through dedication and drive.

A teacher at heart, John Wooden was a life coach incarnate, not just a basketball coach. The Pyramid of Success he created for the men's UCLA basketball team works just as well for women balancing family and work life. His home grown aphorisms - Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do; Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are - can motivate you to work toward your personal best in any area of your life.

Elizabeth Edwards was a source of inspiration for many, fighting to maintain her dignity as she battled breast cancer and sought to protect her children. In an interview shortly before her death, she said that she wanted to be remembered as someone who stood in the storm and, when the wind didn't blow her way, adjusted her sails. You can read more about how Elizabeth Edwards took charge of defining her life by reading our blog post after her death.

Syndicated columnist Amy Dickinson, known as "Ask Amy," writes about the value of using other women as her role models and support in her book, The Mighty Queens of Freeville. For more insight about how we can empower ourselves and prevail through tough times by learning from our women friends and family, read how Amy answered our questions during her Virtual Book Tour on our blog.

Just a few of other role models we've blogged about are those women who return to the workforce and those who use their personal strengths as a means of centering themselves.

If you are looking for some more positive role models for success, look over other past blogs and be sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones. When you do, you'll receive our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find inspiration there to make this the best time of life.

And please visit our blog again on Wednesday, February 23 when we welcome Pamela Madsen for a Virtual Book Tour. She'll be discussing her new book, SHAMELESS: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner.

In "The Last Lecture," Randy Pausch collected his thoughts about living a full and meaningful life so that he could pass them on to his children - and to his students, colleagues, friends, and family. Anyone who reads his book or views his last lecture can take away a number of lessons for herself as well. They range from how to achieve your childhood dreams to how to enable the dreams of others, from how to ask for what you want to how to show gratitude for what you receive.

Randy explains how he encouraged students to use their imagination, take risks and set the bar high by giving a "First Penguin Award" at the end of every semester, complete with a penguin stuffed animal. This was for a "glorious failure" - given to the team of students who took the chance to try something new and different, even though they failed to reach their goal. If you saw the documentary "March of the Penguins" or the children's animated movie, "Happy Feet," you remember that one penguin always jumped into the icy water first, not knowing what dangers might be there.

By talking about the award he presented, Randy reminds us that in order to soar, we must first make that initial jerky flight. Are there goals you have wanted to achieve but are afraid to attempt? Do you feel that, as a Sandwiched Boomer, your attentions are devoted entirely to raising your growing children and caring for your aging parents - draining you of the energy to move beyond your safety net? Give yourself an opportunity to give that penguin a run for the money as you focus on initiating your first steps in pursuit of your dreams. And concentrate on the possibilities open to you as you hone in on your target. The prize you win will certainly be a growing sense of self-confidence and resiliency.

In "The Last Lecture," Randy Pausch talks about the lessons he learned from his parents about showing appreciation and about generativity. Close to the end of his life, he still felt strongly about giving back when he could and "paying it forward" when he could not. Even though he knew he was dying, he emphasized simple things like writing thank you notes and more complicated ones like expressing gratitude graciously when someone had been helpful. Randy was proud of his parents. The way they lived their lives and with their charitable projects - like funding a school in rural Thailand - they were wonderful role models.

As a Sandwiched Boomer, what life lessons have your aging parents passed on to you? What do you see as your parents' strengths? What kind of role models have they been? As you consider these questions, perhaps you will also begin to think about what philosophy of life you are modeling for your growing children. How are you shaping the adults they will become? Take this opportunity to reflect on what kind of example you want to set. Then begin to behave in the way that best reflects your values and beliefs.

When Randy Pausch gave his "Last Lecture," he titled it "How to Really Achieve Your Childhood Dreams." But he revealed his "head fake" - that he was actually talking about how to live your life. Busy as you are with your own day-to-day existence as a Sandwiched Boomer, caring for growing children and aging parents, take time to consider some of Randy's thoughts about living life to the fullest.

Balancing hope and realism, yet the ultimate optimist, Randy describes himself as a "fun-lovingTigger" not a "sad-sack Eeyore," using A.A. Milne's characters from the Winnie-the-Pooh classic. Let's look at one of the ways his optimism plays out in Randy's life. Anticipating that things will turn out in a positive way allows Randy to take chances as he reaches out to those around him. He asks for things he wants - help with specifics, emotional support, connections - and usually gets them. He turns to counseling as a means of developing strength, for himself and his wife, through the process of living and dying. And he recognizes that connections go both ways, paying the premium for emotional insurance for his family in the future by putting in the time and effort with them now.

Are there things that you too want but have been reluctant to ask for? What if you actually thought you would receive them? Would that make it more likely for you to begin clarifying your requests? By asking for help, you have the opportunity to make things easier for you as well as give you family-in-flux and those around you the chance to participate by pitching in to support you. Give it a try!

Do you remember your childhood dreams? Randy Pausch had written his down when he was a boy. They are specific and range from typical male fantasies - playing in the NFL - to ones which later defined his career - being a Disney Imagineer. In his talk and book, "The Last Lecture," Randy reveals how he worked around the obstacles he faced in pursuit of these dreams, reaching some goals but not others. He viewed a brick wall as a challenge, there for a reason, rather than something that stopped him cold in his tracks.

Take some time now, even in the midst of caring for your family-in-flux, to think about your own childhood aspirations. What were your dreams? Do you still have the same passions or have they changed? How can you move toward achieving your goals now? Likely you will face barriers in reaching them - learn from those obstructions as you continue along your path.

As a Sandwiched Boomer, one of your stumbling blocks may be the lack of time and energy you have to focus on yourself. Caring for children growing up and parents growing older can drain you dry. Vow to replenish yourself so that you can devote some of your strength and enthusiasm to the pursuit of your dreams today.

And, speaking of friends, the recent death of Randy Pausch touched people across the country who felt they knew him through his video and book,"The Last Lecture." Randy, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon,understood he was dying from pancreatic cancer and wanted to leave a legacy for his three young children. In the process, his words of wisdom gave all of us inspiration about how to conduct our own lives.

Perhaps from his background with numbers and formulae, Randy was able to boil down the complicated process of "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," the title of his talk, into understandable aphorisms. This week we will focus on several of them in an effort to see how they can help all of us, including Sandwiched Boomers, accomplish our goals and live meaningful lives.

Randy was fond of saying, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." Even if you are not a game player, his meaning was clear: take responsibility for making the important decisions to solve your problems even when you have not caused them. When you are in the midst of caring for children growing up and parents growing older, you face many challenges created by the situation itself. Yet it is your input in determining how you face those trials and tribulations that gives you some control over the process of caring for your family in flux.

Have you read Randy's book yet? Let us know how it affected you and how you applied it in your own circumstances as we discuss more of his last lecture this week.