Role Models on Presidents Day

Presidents Day, honoring George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, reminds us to look to strong role models for inspiration. Mount Rushmore, in the Black Hills of South Dakoka, memorializes Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt. These men reflect goals to strive for - courage, freedom, compassion and conservation, among others.

But you don't have to look only to U.S. Presidents for motivation and guidance. In the past here on our blog, we've focused on many role models, both for ourselves and for our children. They can stir us to greater efforts and success in our family, community and work lives.

When Randy Pausch learned that he had terminal cancer, he gave and then wrote The Last Lecture as a guide for living rather than dying. He stressed the importance of living each day fully, striving to achieve dreams and expressing gratitude for those gifts that you have. He encouraged his students, children and readers to stretch and take creative risks as they reached for goals.

Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and singer Susan Boyle have pursued careers about as different as they can be. Yet they are both role models of courage for women who have a dream and work hard to accomplish their goals. The mother of a toddler, Dara believed she wasn't too old to compete in the Olympics in her 40's and defied the odds by winning 3 more medals in Beijing. Susan was 48 and unknown when she competed on Britain's Got Talent, stunning the audience with her powerful voice. A short eight months later she had the world's best selling album of the year, with 9 million copies purchased. As our blog post indicates, both women successfully created their personal best through dedication and drive.

A teacher at heart, John Wooden was a life coach incarnate, not just a basketball coach. The Pyramid of Success he created for the men's UCLA basketball team works just as well for women balancing family and work life. His home grown aphorisms - Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do; Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are - can motivate you to work toward your personal best in any area of your life.

Elizabeth Edwards was a source of inspiration for many, fighting to maintain her dignity as she battled breast cancer and sought to protect her children. In an interview shortly before her death, she said that she wanted to be remembered as someone who stood in the storm and, when the wind didn't blow her way, adjusted her sails. You can read more about how Elizabeth Edwards took charge of defining her life by reading our blog post after her death.

Syndicated columnist Amy Dickinson, known as "Ask Amy," writes about the value of using other women as her role models and support in her book, The Mighty Queens of Freeville. For more insight about how we can empower ourselves and prevail through tough times by learning from our women friends and family, read how Amy answered our questions during her Virtual Book Tour on our blog.

Just a few of other role models we've blogged about are those women who return to the workforce and those who use their personal strengths as a means of centering themselves.

If you are looking for some more positive role models for success, look over other past blogs and be sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones. When you do, you'll receive our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find inspiration there to make this the best time of life.

And please visit our blog again on Wednesday, February 23 when we welcome Pamela Madsen for a Virtual Book Tour. She'll be discussing her new book, SHAMELESS: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner.

Susan Boyle: A Role Model

Remember Susan Boyle, the Scottish T.V. sensation from Britain's Got Talent? She was middle-aged, shy, portly, nonthreatening - the classic underdog. Although Boyle performed well in the final competition, she didn't win. And afterwards she was hospitalized with emotional exhaustion. Yet she came out the other end with her sense of humor intact and more confident.



You can take a lesson from Susan Boyle. Focus on your strengths that can lead to success. Look for a role model who inspires you and begin to see yourself from a different perspective. And relax as you let your creativity run wild.

There may be stumbling blocks along the way, but just keep going. Focus inward and don't be swayed by the attitude of others. Pay attention only to what you're trying to accomplish. And continue to move forward on your own steam.

Here's a way you may be able to follow your dreams. Avon Voices is conducting a singing talent search - inviting you to join a global movement that unites and inspires through the universal language of music. Women around the world are making their voices count by telling their stories, sharing their dreams, and showcasing their talents.

Through February 13, 2011, you can sing out on a 30-second video clip from the approved song list at Avon Voices. The finalists will be eligible for professional coaching, Avon makeovers and studio time for performance videos.

The Avon Foundation for Women was founded in 1955 to improve the lives of women. Avon global philanthropy has donated more than $800 million in more than 50 countries for causes most important to women, including breast cancer research and efforts to end domestic violence.

Want to discover effective tips to help you as your family in flux and you change? Download a complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals, and receive a free monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, by signing our email list to the left of this post.

Complimentary Ebook on How to Reach Your Goals

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K?

When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder:

How do I access my strengths?
What can help me grow?
Who will I be then?

If you want answers to these questions, sign our email list to the left, just below this post. And accept these gifts from us - receive our free monthly email newsletter, Stepping Stones, and download our free Ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals.

In this Ebook, you'll find stories about people whose names you probably recognize - Captain Sully Sullenberger, Susan Boyle, Senator Ted Kennedy - as well as practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try them on and see how they can work for you.

Dara Torres and Susan Boyle: How to Reach Your Goals

Continuing our conversation about having the courage to reach for your goals, here are two very different women who exemplify that and can serve as role models:

What about champion swimmer Dara Torres who, in her early 40s, won a medal at the Bejing Olympics? Don't remain a spectator - jump into the game of life and become a winner yourself. Why question whether you're too old to reach your goals or to balance family and career. It's never too late to challenge yourself. With maturity, drive and focus, you can achieve your dreams. Excellence comes with hard work and practice. Learning about the training schedules of athletes reminds us that accomplishments don't come easy. Repetition is the handmaiden of success. Set long-term goals as well as realistic and incremental steps to reach them. Give yourself credit when you achieve an objective and move ever closer toward your ultimate goal. Strive for your personal best - and remember the most important competitor you have is actually you.

British singer Susan Boyle, in some ways, is everywoman. Her first appearance onstage, with the initial negative reaction from the audience and judges, taps into insecurities we all have. Who hasn't felt frumpy or unattractive, unsure of ourselves or at a loss for words? Susan lived a simple life, caring for her elderly mother, singing in the church choir and practicing her music. When you see the instant rejection, it makes you wonder if our society is focused on the wrong things. Let your creativity run wild so that you see yourself from a different perspective. The first step is just to begin the process. Then your positive experiences will soon provide the incentive to continue. There may be some stumbling blocks along the way, but never give up.

Read the rest of Dara and Susan's stories - and discover practical tips that can help you reach your goals - by signing our email list to the left of this post. And learn more about these talented and motivated women by typing in their names on wikipedia.

Susan Boyle Found her Voice, Literally - how can you?

Susan Boyle, the T.V. sensation from Britain has Talent, was shy, portly, middle-aged, nonthreatening - the classic underdog. It happens to lots of people all the time. Who hasn't been influenced by early memories of feeling misrepresented or misunderstood? Perhaps you can personally relate to that.

Boyle performed well in the final competition - but didn't win. And afterwards she was hospitalized with emotional exhaustion. But she came out the other end with her sense of humor intact and even more confident.

Take a lesson from Susan Boyle.



Focus on your values and strengths that can lead to personal success.
Look for a role model whose character inspires you to follow your dreams.
Let your creativity run wild and see yourself from a different perspective.
Begin the process of change and your positive experiences will provide the incentive to continue.

You may find there's stumbling blocks along the way, but keep going. Focus inward and don't be swayed by the attitude of others. Pay attention only to what you're trying to accomplish. And continue to access the internal strength and confidence to move forward on your own steam.

Want more information to help you get started? Clicking on the title of this post will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and an article about Tim Russert as a role model for positive character traits.

Amy Dickinson Responds to NourishingRelationships' Readers

Plenty of nourishing relationships' readers and sandwiched boomers tuned in yesterday to take part in our interview with Amy Dickinson. We had a spirited discussion with Amy, author of The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them. Our thanks to Amy for being so generous with her time.

You can still read all of the responses, in full, through yesterday's "comments" link at the bottom of the post. Here's a sampling.

Several Readers had concerns relating to their teenagers:

"I too have a daughter and to get a vote of approval like you did from Emily would shock the hell out of me. She’s only 15 so what you say gives me hope."

"I'm raising two teenage sons alone and sometimes I get frustrated and discouraged. What gives you the strength besides the women in your life?"

"I loved how you get to the heart of the emotion in your book. Your daughter has been in college for a couple of years now, I think - mine will be leaving in a few months. A few words of wisdom?"

Amy's thoughtful replies:

I struggle for words of wisdom about letting a child go when its time to go to college, except to say that if everybody has done their job and the relationship is good and solid, I think it’s easier to let go. I miss my girl but, well, she's happy and as a parent that has always been one of my goals. And we write letters back and forth, which has been nice for us.

I guess I get my strength, if you could call it that, from my faith and my sense of humor, from friends, and from the occasional bottle of wine and box of kleenex. Sometimes, like Scarlett O'Hara, you just have to tear down the drapes and make yourself a new dress. Enlist your sons in the effort to help them raise themselves. And make them help you with the dishes.

Another reader, a nurse asks:

"You write about such serious subjects in your advice column, like the woman today whose classmate attempted to rape her. Do you ever find it hard to leave your work at the office? I'm a critical care nurse and it's often hard for me to clear my head and relax."

Amy here:

It is very hard to leave some of these painful topics behind at the end of the day --especially when a kid writes in with a serious problem. But I'm reminded of something Ann Landers' former editor told me. Ann's words of wisdom on this were something like, "I try to remember that these people's problems aren't my problems. I've got my own problems." That helped. And as a nurse of course you know that in order to do your job, you need to be rested and as non-stressed as possible. Thank you for the important work you do.

Others made comments that reflect Amy's experience as well as their own:

"Having so many wonderful and supportive women around you is a gift. Not all women have that, but for those who don't, creating their own circle is so important. It took me too many years to realize that.

"The energy of women together is always a wonder to behold. How great for you and your daughter to have had that support. I have not read your book therefore ask if your daughter was exposed to any positive male influences as well?"

"Now that your book has been published, is there anything that you would change? Did you omit something that you would include if you were submitting your work for publishing today?"

"I found the interview enlightening and affirming of the wisdom of caring, supportive women. Common sense, sincere interest and the perfect balance of honesty, sensitivity and tact are your hallmarks, Amy. Thank you for sharing that each day in your column. I look forward to reading your book!"

Amy here:

Answering the question about whether I would change anything in my book -- honestly I don't think I would. It's not perfect, but mainly I feel like I said what I set out to say. I feel it's honest and heartfelt, quirky and charming. I still like it when I read it, so that's probably a good sign. Thanks for asking.

Amy mentioned this morning that she's working on another book and appreciates the support of readers -- "this is one of those books that women are passing around and sharing with one another, and that makes me so proud and happy!" Click on the title above to go directly to Amy's website.

If you want more of these sort of events, please add your comments here or email us at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. And visit our website by clicking on the first link on the left below, "Her Mentor Center."

You can sign up for our newsletter, Stepping Stones, by clicking on the link below marked "FREE Newsletter." We publish a monthly newsletter that focuses on helpful strategies for coping with personal and family issues. Our May newsletter gave tips on how mothers-in-law can improve their relationships and learn from President Obama's MIL. Our June Stepping Stones highlighted how Susan Boyle, an unlikely role model, can be a guide to an emphasis on inner beauty and nourishing oneself.

Diverse Women

Visiting the Veterans Cemetery yesterday to honor our brave servicemen and women, I was struck by the diversity of the names on the graves. Men and women from all kinds of backgrounds had served and died together through the years and are forever joined together in this burial ground. While we continue to struggle today with enriching our country by such diversity - ethnic, gender, religious, social, economic - our troops have already learned that they can count on each other, no matter what their origins are. Nowhere is the view of the United States as a melting pot - or tossed salad - more visible than at a veterans' cemetery.

This inclusion of varied personal circumstances and experiences is reflected in the news today. Judge Sonia Sotomayor has been chosen by President Obama to replace Justice David Souter on the Supreme Court. If confirmed by Congress, she will become the third female justice chosen to serve on the Court, the second woman on the current Court. Now an Appeals Court judge, Sotomayor will be the first justice of Hispanic descent, having a Puerto Rican heritage. Raised by a widowed mother, her credentials include an undergraduate degree from Princeton and a law degree from Yale. Her nomination signals an emphasis on including qualified minorities in our nation's structure.

As a woman, maybe even a Sandwiched Boomer, facing your own challenges on a daily basis, caring for aging parents and growing children, what message does her nomination send? Can you too draw on your strengths as you struggle to make your personal mark? Let us hear from you, at HerMentorCenter.com or here at NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com, about what this nomination means to you.

Today other unique women with different backgrounds are also in the news - over the weekend, Susan Boyle made it to the finals of the "Britain's Got Talent" competition, singing "Memories" from Cats and Amelia Earhart, brought to life by Amy Adams, soared in "Night at the Museum," which was number one at the box office. Can you use these women as your role models as you develop the resilience to thrive after facing your own challenges and difficulties? To get some tips about how to do just this, click on the title above to take you to our article on Susan Boyle.

Susan Boyle, Boomers and Self Discovery

Susan Boyle had learning difficulties in school and was bullied. She said her classmates' taunts left behind the kind of scars that don't often heal. Can you imagine how the initial negative reactions from the talent show audience felt to her? It seems as if, according to society, you should have the physical ability to seduce if you’re going to be a torch singer. But when she sang about wasted youth and lost dreams, the crowd went wild. Don't we all love a surprise?

She's the classic underdog - shy, portly, middle-aged, nonthreatening and largely misunderstood. It happens to lots of people all the time. She didn't have boyfriends, is a stranger to romance and has 'never been kissed.' Singing was her salvation. On stage, courage could easily have failed her. Yet, in pursuing her long-held dreams, she managed to triumph over many disadvantages.

Susan Boyle is a reminder that it's time we all look a little deeper. She was a caring daughter and devoted companion, and has lived an important life. If you're a Baby Boomer, you're probably doing that too in some ways. So don't think of yourself as just one more person with no discernible talent. When life provides a stage, sing your heart out. You deserve the applause.

Click on this title to read one woman's story about Self Discovery at 52. That'll take you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and a past issue of 'Stepping Stones'. And while you're there, why not sign up for our monthly newsletter.

Susan Boyle and Beating the Odds

As boomers and members of the Sandwich Generation, you've likely been in the same place as Susan Boyle. Caring for aging parents is a huge responsibility. And if something has to give it's often time for yourself.

It may not be easy with the pressure you're under, but try to be happy in your own skin. Take one day at a time and make the most of your life as it is now. If, by chance, you become a sensation, stay humble and don’t let success go to your head. Appreciate your good fortune.

Susan Boyle's circumstances are highly unusual. It's almost unheard of to go from obscurity to notoriety so quickly. Although that might not be the case for you, imagine yourself having her strengths. Think about how you are courageuos and persistent. In many ways you've probably beat the odds. Click on the title above and read one woman's story about 'moterhing' her mother.

Like Susan Boyle, Finish the Song

Susan Boyle had several strikes against her - learning disabilities, anxiety from being bullied by classmates, the kind of scars that do not heal, according to her. But that didn't stop her. She went on to finish the song.

Can you relate to that? We've all had shaping experiences early in life and memories of being misrepresented or misunderstood. As Sandwiched Boomers, you're likely keeping lots of balls in the air and feeling the stress of that. Here are a couple of tips to help you keep going:

Don't be swayed by the attitude of others, no matter whether they sneer or cheer. Focus inward. Access the internal strength and confidence to move forward on your own steam. Pay attention only to what you're doing.

The unexpected can come at any time. Be prepared. Stay motivated as you practice your skills. And pretty soon, step by step, you'll turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Click on the title to read an article on HerMentorCenter.com from our newsletter, Stepping Stones, on Managing Stress.

Susan Boyle's Message: Keep At It

So what does all this fanfare about Susan Boyle singing 'I Dreamed a Dream' have to do with you? Perhaps you don't think you have an inner vision or the power and persistence to reach your goals. But here are some ideas that'll help, whether or not you can belt out a heartbreaking ballad about unfulfilled dreams:

Learn about what is truly of value to you. Assess your character strengths and how they've helped you get what you've wanted before. How can you build on those assets now? Enlist your staying power and keep your eye on the goal.

Let your creativity run wild so that you see yourself from a different perspective. The initial step is just to begin the process. Then let your positive experiences provide the incentive to continue. There may be stumbling blocks along the way, but never give up.

Click on the title above to read a story on www.HerMentorCenter.com about Follow an Old Passion - Find a New Path. And tune in for more tips tomorrow.

Susan Boyle and 'I Dreamed a Dream'

Last week we all had a chance to learn a lesson from Susan Boyle when she sang 'I Dreamed a Dream' before judges in the trials of 'Britain has Talent.' What a surreal and thrilling moment for her. And what a wake-up call for the rest of us.

Her 15 minutes of fame aren't over yet with, so far, over 20 million views on YouTube. Why the viral nature of this phenomenon? Of course we're all pretty fed up with the media focus on teen pop stars and desperate for some good news or a heartfelt story. But is it that we're really looking for a role model whose character inspires us to follow our dreams?

In some ways Susan Boyle is everywoman. Her initial appearance onstage, with the negative reaction from the audience and judges, taps into insecurities we all have. Who hasn't felt frumpy or unattractive, unsure of ourselves or at a loss for words? Susan has lived a simple life and didn't expect to be so popular. She has been busy caring for her elderly mother and practicing her music. It makes you wonder, has our society been focused on the wrong things?

Tune in all week as we discuss the values and character strengths that can lead to personal success. And weigh in with your own ideas. In the meantime, click on the title above and read an article about Captain Sullenberger and what makes a hero.