Revisiting the Courage of Captain Sully Sullenberger

As members of the sandwich generation, you may have your hands full with the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. But that's no reason to neglect what you need.

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K? When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder: How do I access my strengths? What can help me grow? Who will I be then?

There are a lot of people we can look to who have had the courage to reach deep inside and make something happen. Take, for example, Captain Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger, the pilot who landed the passenger jet on the Hudson River. Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales - are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we want to feel hopeful again.

Learn to be as prepared as possible ahead of time. Sullenberger was ready. He's a former air force fighter pilot, an expert in safety reliability methods and has 40 years of flying experience. Although you may not need training for an emergency landing, you can become equipped for what lies ahead. If you're making an important presentation at work, setting guidelines for your kidult who can't find a job and is moving back home or talking to your dad about giving up the car keys, learn as much as you can about the issues. Research the subject, write out talking points and get feedback from those whose opinions you value.

This week on the blog we'll be writing short vignettes about people whose names you probably recognize. In their stories, you’ll find practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try on these strategies and see how they can work for you.

If you want to read more about Captain Sullenberger and his remarkable act of courage, sign the email list to the left of this post and download our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. And if you would like to stay in touch with him, you can follow Sully on his Facebook page.

Listing Your Strengths

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give as a Sandwiched Boomer to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, click on the post title above to take you to our article, Captain Sullenberger: Heroes and Lessons Learned, on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

Susan Boyle and 'I Dreamed a Dream'

Last week we all had a chance to learn a lesson from Susan Boyle when she sang 'I Dreamed a Dream' before judges in the trials of 'Britain has Talent.' What a surreal and thrilling moment for her. And what a wake-up call for the rest of us.

Her 15 minutes of fame aren't over yet with, so far, over 20 million views on YouTube. Why the viral nature of this phenomenon? Of course we're all pretty fed up with the media focus on teen pop stars and desperate for some good news or a heartfelt story. But is it that we're really looking for a role model whose character inspires us to follow our dreams?

In some ways Susan Boyle is everywoman. Her initial appearance onstage, with the negative reaction from the audience and judges, taps into insecurities we all have. Who hasn't felt frumpy or unattractive, unsure of ourselves or at a loss for words? Susan has lived a simple life and didn't expect to be so popular. She has been busy caring for her elderly mother and practicing her music. It makes you wonder, has our society been focused on the wrong things?

Tune in all week as we discuss the values and character strengths that can lead to personal success. And weigh in with your own ideas. In the meantime, click on the title above and read an article about Captain Sullenberger and what makes a hero.

Sandwiched Boomers and Being Prepared

"The only level, smooth place sufficiently large to land an airliner was the river," Sullenberger said, recalling that the plane had no thrust and was "descending rapidly." A former Air Force fighter pilot who has flown commercial planes for nearly three decades, he knew he had to touch down with the wings level and the nose slightly up, and "at a descent rate that was survivable."

That was his only viable alternative. And he was confident that he could do it. It was an intense feeling of relief when he learned that all the passengers and crew were saved. He was asked how he felt about being seen as a hero. his reply was that he didn't feel comfortable embracing it but he didn't want to deny it - especially is that's what people needed. That's a hero.

As you look back, Sandwiched Boomers, how have you dealt with trauma in the past? And how has this changed you? Take the specific strategies that you learned and apply the most effective ones again and again. Look at the ways you can continue to build on your internal and external strengths. A double bird strike disabling two engines is a highly improbable set of circumstances. Yet there are many extraordinary situations we cannot predict. Hopefully you won't ever have to brace for a crash landing. But being prepared never hurt anyone.

Captain Sullenberger and Gratitude

Captain Sullenberger landed the plane in the Hudson River near two ferry terminals. Rescue boats appeared within minutes to take the 150 passengers and five crew members to safety. When the pilot got official confirmation that everyone had survived, he felt like "the weight of the universe had been lifted off my heart."

Express your gratitude often. One airplane passenger, on a rescue raft in the frigid cold, went up to Sullenberger, grabbed his arm and said 'thank you on behalf of all of us.' Those are the moments in life that create a lasting impression. Try it yourself. Say thank you to a family member, a friend or a colleague. You'll see that others will feel more valued and you'll benefit from putting your appreciation into words. Studies show that gratitude helps you attain a better mood, increased self-esteem and a greater sense of connection to the world.

Several days ago the crew met some of the passengers and their relatives at a reunion in Charlotte, N.C., the destination of Flight 1549. "More than one woman came up to Sully and told him "Thank you for not making me a widow" or "Thank you for allowing my son to have a father."

Stress Reaction to Trauma

The first few nights after the emergency landing, Sullenberger couldn't sleep. He questioned his performance, even though all 155 people aboard survived. Initially he had trouble forgiving himself because he thought he could have done something different.

Sullenberger's emotional reaction is very common and normal. What follows are some tips that may be helpful if you or loved ones experience a traumatic event:

Develop stress relievers. If you have endured an extraordinary physical or emotional experience, take time out for yourself. By regular exercise, good nutrition and proper rest, you'll be taking better care of your body. Attend to your mind and your spirit as well. Practice techniques of deep breathing, relaxation or your own form of meditation. Set aside quiet time and do what it is that gives you personal pleasure. Relax and have fun as you bring more balance into your life. Look at it as investing in your emotional bank account. You'll generate positive memories that you can draw on when you need them.

Recognize an acute stress reaction. After an event where you could have died, it's natural to have a greater appreciation for life. Subsequent to a traumatic event, on the other hand, an immediate emotional reaction can turn into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This is more likely to occur for those who have suffered a previous trauma, a weak support system, a history of addiction or depression. If your symptoms persist - sleep disturbance, sadness, fears, irritability, flashbacks or nightmares – don't hesitate to make an appointment with a mental health professional.

What Captain Sully can Teach Sandwiched Boomers

As sandwiched boomers, the challenges you face and crises you endure may not be as dramatic as Captain Sullenberger's, who landed a plane in the Hudson River. But there are lessons we all can learn from the passengers and crew who stayed calm and pulled together on that Airbus A320 flight.

Sully described it as 'the worst sickening pit of the stomach falling through the floor feeling.' Yet his voice had no hint of panic when he told the air traffic controller he didn't have time to land at the airport. Log on the rest of the week for tips on how to keep your cool under pressure:

Be as prepared as possible ahead of time. Sullenberger was ready – he's a former air force fighter pilot, an expert in safety reliability methods and has 40 years of flying experience. Although you may not need training for an emergency landing, you can be equipped for what lies ahead. If you're making an important presentation at work, setting guidelines for your kidult who can't find a job and is moving back home or talking to your dad about giving up the car keys, learn as much as you can about the issues. Research the subject, write out talking points, get feedback from those whose opinions you value.

Realize that support is a valuable tool. Reaching out to others when you need encouragement helps you make it through what seems like an impossible situation. In an emergency, hold out your hand to a stranger. Confide in friends and family as you work through difficult circumstances. Getting a second and objective opinion from a family therapist or life coach will provide you with insight and direction. Join an ongoing group or attend a weekend retreat to share concerns and gain new perspective. Or find a workshop through your local university extension or mental health center. Spending time with others will validate your emotions and make you feel better.

Captain Sullenberger and a Need for Heroes

Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales – are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we were primed and about ready for a miracle. People want to feel hopeful again.

Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III safely landed a US Airways flight 1549 with 155 passengers and crew onboard in the Hudson River when the plane encountered problems after takeoff. Everyone survived. A spokesman for the U.S. Airline Pilots Association says that Sullenberger acted 'very calm and cool, very relaxed, just very professional.' Apparently he was the last one off the plane, walking down the aisles two times to make sure no one was left on board. Now that's a hero.