Resiliency in Difficult Times

Do you feel inundated by bad news coming at you from all sides? The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is spreading and the gushing thousands of feet below the surface has yet to be fully contained; new unemployment figures in the U.S. confirm the dismal private sector job creation that continues to lag; international conflicts rage and at home citizens are divided about immigrants' rights. World news reflects the tensions you may be feeling in your own relationships. How do you deal with the challenges coming from the rich but often problematic complexity of your family life? Here are some tips for you:

Draw upon your own strength. You will learn more about your capabilities when you are tested by hard times than when everything is going well for you. Resiliency is increased each time you get up and put one foot in front of the other. Bravery comes in many actions - facing an illness, providing for your family, starting a new career - not only on the battlefield. To learn more about identifying your Character Strengths, visit the Authentic Happpiness website and take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Use the ones that seem to define you - Signature Strengths - to support your progress through tough times.

Just as those in the foxholes feel the honest emotions of fear, anger, pain, guilt, anxiety and loneliness, allow yourself to experience these emotions when they are a part of your life.

Especially if you are a Sandwiched Boomer, it's easy to become overwhelmed by all you have on your plate. Torn between caring for your growing children and aging parents, it's normal to feel stressed and anxious at times. Don't blame yourself. Once you are able to acknowledge these feelings, then you can begin the long process of coping with them.

If you remember the fragility and transience of life as you move through it, you will savor each good moment you have. Integrate and reflect on all you have achieved in balancing your work and family with your own needs. Living your life to the fullest is a lasting mark of respect you can pay to your family and to the veterans you honored this week who have sacrificed the innocence of their youth for you.

For some role models of courage, look to the left of this post. When you sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, you will receive a link to a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. There you'll find stories of resiliency and practical strategies for success in difficult times.

Connect with Your Family This Summer

Now that Memorial Day is past and school will soon be over, have you thought about how to use those extra summer hours to connect with your family?

With the summer season now unofficially open and the barbeque back in service, can we still learn from the heroes we honored on Memorial Day who have served and given their all to protect our way of life? As we respect their unique bravery, we can direct their lessons to our own family situation and apply the same principles to those closest to us.

Express the gratitude you feel for what they have given you - protection, opportunities, love, strength, enjoyment of life. You have doors open to you now because of them. This can begin with something as simple as a heartfelt "thank you," and develop into a more textured and thoughtful recognition of what you are thankful for. Find out more about the benefits of expressing gratitude through the Authentic Happiness website

Recognize the importance of revealing the love you have for each other. Those who have been in harm's way know the meaning of the words, "it's too late." Don't put off sharing your love; decide to make it a priority. Each day, acknowledge those you love, and who love you, as if it were your last.

Understand the value of friendship. Those in the service have trusted and leaned on each other as they've shared their experiences and relied on their camaraderie. Know that we are here to take care of our friends and family - close and extended - difficult though it may be at times.

Community support is there for the taking when you know where to look and how to ask for it. Be open to the reality that you might need to utilize the input and generosity of others. You are not diminished when you allow another to help you.

Are you looking for some ideas about how to connect and have a special family vacation this summer? Even Sandwiched Boomers can relax and enjoy time with extended family if you plan ahead. This summer, create memories to carry you and your family through the rest of the year. And log in to share your ideas about family togetherness.

To read stories of modern day heroes and how they coped with challenges in their lives, click on the link to the left. You can sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned, which showcases tips and strategies to use in your own family.

Women are Heroes Too

All week we have been talking about the heroic actions of Captain Richard Phillips - as well as the crew of the Maersk and those who helped engineer and carry out his rescue. Typically heroism is thought of in ways that are more likely to be male - standing up to physical attackers, taking on frightening scenarios, suffering pain, fighting back. But so many women, Sandwiched Boomers or not, are real heroes every day, albeit in different ways.

Think you're not a hero? Well, think again.

It's brave to go to your place of work where your colleagues don't think you are as good as they are just because you are a woman. You work as hard as they do but don't make the same wages, yet you show up every day and do your best. Isn't that heroic?

You are determined to give your child the future she deserves. Even when you fear you won't be able to, you keep on trying and don't give up. Isn't that heroic?

Sitting with a friend who is going through chemotherapy, wiping her forehead as she throws up once again, is altruistic as well as loving. Isn't that heroic?

It's courageous to visit your mother in the Alzheimers' nursing home every week, knowing that she won't even know who you are. The pain of fighting back the tears, putting on a smile, using a soft voice, gently stroking her hand - when all the time you want to be shouting out, "Don't you remember who I am? Where are your memories?" Isn't that heroic?

As a Sandwiched Boomer, you are squashed between the needs of your growing children, aging parents, demanding career, loving spouse - and yet you manage to take care of everyone. Whether we call you a hero or heroine, you are the laudable center of your family. So congratulations - our hats are off to you!

Practice and Train for Success

The crew of the Maersk Alabama is preparing to head home, with Captain Phillips soon to join them. Americans are cheering their actions and those of the Navy Seals who rescued Capt. Phillips. So how can you incorporate their heroic behaviors into your life?

Respect your job and take it seriously. Capt. Phillips is an alumnus of the Merchant Marine Academy where, undoubtedly, he was trained about what to do in numerous emergency situations. He had a plan to protect his ship and crew and immediately instituted it when the pirates attacked. Train hard for your job and give it the significance it deserves. If you are a Sandwiched Boomer, your work at home is just as important as your career. Pay attention to what is going on in your family and have contingency plans for how to keep members safe.

Don't give up, even when all seems hopeless. Captain Phillips was in a frightening situation when the pirates attacked. Yet he didn't surrender his ship and crew, rather he put his own life at stake. Hot and alone with his captors on the lifeboat for five days, Capt. Phillips didn't admit defeat, instead, when he could, he jumped out of the boat and attempted to swim to safety. When tremendous difficulties hit you, hang in there. Draw upon your personal character strengths - like persistence, hope, leadership, integrity, creativity, bravery, spirituality - to carry you through the ordeal.

Click on the title above to take you to an article on our website, How to Inventory Your Assets. It will help you identify your valuable strong points so that you can draw on them when facing challenges in your life.

Sandwiched Boomers and Being Prepared

"The only level, smooth place sufficiently large to land an airliner was the river," Sullenberger said, recalling that the plane had no thrust and was "descending rapidly." A former Air Force fighter pilot who has flown commercial planes for nearly three decades, he knew he had to touch down with the wings level and the nose slightly up, and "at a descent rate that was survivable."

That was his only viable alternative. And he was confident that he could do it. It was an intense feeling of relief when he learned that all the passengers and crew were saved. He was asked how he felt about being seen as a hero. his reply was that he didn't feel comfortable embracing it but he didn't want to deny it - especially is that's what people needed. That's a hero.

As you look back, Sandwiched Boomers, how have you dealt with trauma in the past? And how has this changed you? Take the specific strategies that you learned and apply the most effective ones again and again. Look at the ways you can continue to build on your internal and external strengths. A double bird strike disabling two engines is a highly improbable set of circumstances. Yet there are many extraordinary situations we cannot predict. Hopefully you won't ever have to brace for a crash landing. But being prepared never hurt anyone.

Captain Sullenberger and a Need for Heroes

Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales – are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we were primed and about ready for a miracle. People want to feel hopeful again.

Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III safely landed a US Airways flight 1549 with 155 passengers and crew onboard in the Hudson River when the plane encountered problems after takeoff. Everyone survived. A spokesman for the U.S. Airline Pilots Association says that Sullenberger acted 'very calm and cool, very relaxed, just very professional.' Apparently he was the last one off the plane, walking down the aisles two times to make sure no one was left on board. Now that's a hero.