Love is More Than a Four Letter Word

With Valentine's Day less than a week away, we continue our focus on the many aspects of love. Filled with the deep pleasure of engagement, we often talk about loving a person, an idea, a place, an experience. The great sense of pure joy and energy springing from such love can keep you warm the rest of the season - a must, now that Punxsutawney Phil has predicted six more weeks of winter.

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Here are two more forms of love to consider this week:

Love what you do. Whatever it is you do each day - a job outside the home, a hobby, volunteer work, caring for your aging parents or growing children - you'll be more fulfilled if you're immersed in it. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term flow for the experience of focused involvement in an activity. In flow you have a greater sense of clarity and timelessness, with your passion becoming its own reward. Challenge yourself to live a meaningful life to its fullest by creating flow, knowing that you can accomplish your goals. And experience love by making a commitment to act on what you feel.

Love who you are. It's not always easy to love yourself, is it? Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, seeing our faults more clearly than our strengths. Other times we over estimate our strong points, seeing ourselves through rose-colored glasses. Two thousand years ago, Socrates entreated each of us to Know Thyself. Your challenge today is to recognize your authentic being. When you embrace your frailties and at the same time encourage your growth and the development of your abilities, you can begin to truly love yourself. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin - accept and be true to who you are.

We hope you enjoy your day of love next week - whatever object of your affections you choose to celebrate. Want to tell us about your love? Click on the comment link below and tell us who or what brings happiness to your life.

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and Stress in America

The weekend shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords - and the attendant murders of six bystanders - has again pushed the American psyche into overload. Though out of harm’s way themselves, many people experience stress and anxiety when faced with these kinds of uncontrollable situations. While it appears the gunman's serious mental illness motivated the shooting spree, the horrendous act itself has raised stress levels all across the United States, already high due to the poor economic climate. In fact, a recent national health survey found that 75% of the general population experiences at least some stress every two weeks, with half of these rated at moderate or high levels.

According to the American Psychological Association, key findings from their recent survey indicate that stress levels have increased over the past five years, impacting both physical and emotional health. Most Americans are feeling moderate to high stress levels, with many feeling overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. The most frequently cited sources of stress are concerns about money, work and the economy. Nearly one-half of those who participated in the survey were fearful about their job stability. Over one-half also noted that family responsibilities and relationships were significant causes of stress.

What can you do to reduce your stress levels and take better care of yourself now and during the rest of 2011? The American Psychological Association has some suggestions to manage your distress in the aftermath of the shooting. And here are some of our tips to get you started:

Maintain balance in your life between personal needs, work and your family obligations. Don't over commit yourself even as you retain a normal routine. Carve out some special time for yourself even in the midst of caring for your growing children and aging parents.

Exercise moderately several times a week. Only one-quarter of those surveyed were satisfied with their level of physical activity. To increase yours, find an activity that you enjoy and will stick with - walking with friends, water aerobics, dance or yoga classes, training at the gym.

Eat sensibly, following a balanced diet of healthy foods rich in nutrition that serve as a natural defense against stress. Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and limit your use of sugar, caffeine and cigarettes as they can contribute to your anxiety. Get enough rest and sleep to allow your body to recover from the stresses of the day. Over 40% of the survey respondents reported feeling fatigued on a regular basis and lacking in energy.

Use relaxation techniques. Set aside time for a regular routine of deep breathing, guided imagery, meditation, or other stress reduction methods. Decide to put off worrying - much of what you may fear never actually happens anyway. Remember to be open to the healing effects of laughter.

Using these tips can help you become more resilient as you cope with the stresses around you on a daily basis. And to learn more about how you can manage the pressures you face in our economic downturn, check out our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.

Breaking Free: Changing Your Career

Here on the blog we're always talking about how boomers in the sandwich generation can manage the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. And for many of you, work is a major part of that equation. So if you're less than thrilled with your career and have been thinking about making a change, we have a treat for you.

This week we're featuring Caryn FitzGerald, a guest blogger who will discuss her career change and offer some tips so you can make some changes too. Here is Caryn's view out of the window of her home office and her story:"Fourteen years ago, I graduated from college ready to take on the world. After two decades of education, I walked across the stage, received my master’s degree and into the world of corporate America. My corporate career didn’t last long though as mentors began to share the possibilities available to me as an entrepreneur and I allowed my heart to be open to receive this knowledge, changing the direction of my life’s path forever.

If I had known the details of the options available before I went to college, would this information have made a difference in the path I had chosen? Probably not. But it would have allowed me to be better prepared for what was in store for me upon graduation. It would have given me the ability to make better choices, not be fearful of creating a lifestyle instead of living a life. I would have learned sooner that I had options instead of believing that, in order to survive, I had to be tied to corporate America as an employee with a job.

Jim Rohn once said JOB is an acronym for "Just Over Broke." This is what the vast majority are conditioned to believe is the only means of making a living. It is very rare that a child is told, "don't worry about going to college, find what you feel passionate about, follow your heart and money will flow into your life."

What if there was a way to have the ability to earn as much income as you desire? To decide how many hours a day you would devote to creating an income? To grant you the ability to spend time with family and loved ones without worrying about having more money left over after the bills have all been paid in full? What if the secret to entry into this lifestyle was 100% yours?

The secret lies deep within each of us and, although often brushed against, it is not always recognized or acted upon. Unfortunately, the voice of fear speaks loudly, and many will give in, conforming to the societal norms of working a job instead of following their hearts desire.

What if you could take small steps each day that would allow you to break free from the corporate world and live the life you dream about when you close your eyes each night?

This is possible." Log on here Wednesday, readers, to find out how!

In the meantime, if you want to get started, learn more about Caryn FitzGerald. And check out this website where you'll find lots of articles about career change, from to how to make a hobby work for you to adapting your career in a tough economy.

Generativity is word coined by Dr. Erik Erickson in the 1950s - it describes a stage of psychosocial development when people want to give back to future generations. Here's a Huffington Post article by Marc Freedman, CEO of Civic Ventures, about boomers transitioning to an encore career of public service.

Your Personal Health Plan is Job 1

Although "Obamacare" is now the law of the land for Americans, controversy still surrounds it. Candidates in November's elections have widely conflicting views about its value. Next to jobs as the most import issue in races this year, the new healthcare law is determining the voting patterns of many citizens throughout the country. The uncertainties arising from which party will control the House and Senate in 2011 may leave you in a quandary about your own healthcare strategy.

What can you do in the meantime? Decide on a personal health plan to improve your wellness every day. Our YouTube video for today includes the final two of ten tips for increasing self-fullness. Feel free to begin with any of the tips you like - there's no deductible or co-pay involved. As you decide to take better care of yourself, you will discover the strength to find balance in your life. Develop a firm core - it will sustain you as you continue to nurture your growing and changing family.

The short video, Your Personal Health Plan: 10 Tips for Self-fullness, provides some ideas about how to give yourself the gift of laughter. You'll have more fun and studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making. And the video reminds you, it's healthy to receive as well as give. So accept the help, gratitude and love that others offer.

Are you a Sandwiched Boomer, with demands being made by your children and parents simultaneously? For some help in taking better care of yourself, our article, How to Nourish the Sandwich That is You may be just what you need to get started. Take a few minutes to browse around our website, Her Mentor Center where you'll find other articles with practical tips for nurturing yourself, resources, Stepping Stones, and information about how to receive our ebooks. You can use the comment link below to let us know what you think and how you're doing.

And feel free to participate in the polling questions to the left of this post. They change with each visit and give you the chance to have your opinions heard and tallied.

To your continuing good health!

Career Change Questions Answered

We began this week with a look at what it takes to make a career change and how your passions, skills and resources can help you succeed as you work through the process. In this economy, where job losses are especially prevalent, it's wise to give some thought to planning for modifications in how you spend your day. You may want to sign up for classes from community colleges to help with a career change.

On Wednesday, were pleased to welcome Teresa Burrell, author of The Advocate's Betrayal to our blog for a virtual book tour. An educator, attorney, businesswoman and writer, Teresa graciously answered our questions and also responded to several readers' comments and requests for advice. We'd like to share those with you today:


One reader, Annette, wanted to know more about how Teresa went about making her career changes. She commented: "I am in awe of your courage in starting new careers. I would like to go back to school but I'm afraid to quit my job and start all over from scratch. How much did you have to plan ahead so you'd have enough money to support yourself after your career change?"

Teresa had some practical advice for her: "I did a little financial planning for my career changes, but mostly I just remembered what it was like when I first started attending college. I didn't have anything then and I made it through. And each time it just got better. I've never been one to have a lot of debt other than school loans, and I didn't have any of those until I went to law school. I always knew I could find some kind of work if I had to, so I just dove in. I realize I took some chances but I had to in order to follow my dreams. I do have to admit, the older I get the more planning I do for a career change."

Another reader confessed that she was concerned about her internal motivation to stay on track. Suzanne commented: "I like the idea of working for myself - like you've done as a writer. But I'm afraid I wouldn't have the energy to keep going without someone (like my boss) pushing me. How do you get yourself to stick to your job on your own?"

Teresa shared some of her philosophy about taking responsibility for herself and her career: "Suzanne, keeping on task can be one of the hardest things to do when someone isn't standing watch. Many businesses fail for that very reason. This is a business, just like any other. If you take that approach, things will get done. If you look at it as a hobby, that's all it will ever be. For the most part, you have to schedule it into your day or your week and then stick to it."

One would-be author asked about how to move forward with her manuscript: "I've been working on a book too - a novel, not a mystery. This is all brand new for me. When I finish writing, how do I get it published? How did you decide on your publisher?"

In response, Teresa gave her some of the inside scoop about publishing: "Getting published can be a real nightmare. I've heard some horror stories from many authors, some well known, others not. I didn't have the typical experience. I went to a writer's conference, submitted twenty pages to a publisher, and she asked for my manuscript. My second book was picked up by another publisher who approached me. I think that was because my first book was doing well and they saw how much effort I put into the marketing process. When your book is finished the first thing you have to do is learn how to write a clean query letter and a great synopsis. Both of those things can be done at a writer's conference. And then you start the search for an agent or a publisher. Most of that can be done online or you can attend a conference and submit some of your work. There are a number of writer's conferences that give you that opportunity. Here locally we have the Southern California Writer's Conference which I attended and would highly recommend for both the learning process and for making connections. Just make sure you approach the process knowing there is a lot of rejection in this business and at the same time keep a positive attitude."

Our thanks, again, to Teresa Burrell for her candor and advice. You can learn more about her book, The Advocate's Betrayal, on her website.

Thinking About a Career Change?

This week we'll be hosting a virtual book tour with Teresa Burrell, an author who has worked at several different jobs and has also enjoyed careers as an attorney and a teacher. She's not alone in her journey. According to a national longitudinal study conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, baby boomers in the workforce tend to have an average of about 11 different jobs during the first 25 years of their productive work time.

Although the conventional wisdom has been that people change careers today somewhere between 3 and 7 times in their life, the Bureau has never tried to determine the number of times Americans actually do change careers because it is hard to define exactly what constitutes a career change.

Have you ever thought of making a career change yourself? What are the barriers standing in your way? When you are able to identify some of the challenges ahead, you can begin to outline the steps you need to take to move forward in your quest. You can learn more about how to confront these obstacles by consulting articles on our Her Mentor Center website.

What are your passions? Think about what has defined you, what raises your level of enthusiasm. When you are excited about what you do and the way you spend your day, you will experience the sense of flow that accompanies the energized focus you have in your activity.

What are your skills? You can build on the skills you have already developed as you transfer them into new areas. Brainstorm with friends about how your expertise in one sphere can be expanded into others. And look at the means at hand to educate yourself in new techniques, drawing on your innate abilities and specific aptitudes.

What are your resources? Just as inner character strengths serve as your foundation, you have external supports in the form of family and friends. You don't have to accomplish the transformation alone. Make a list of the reserves available to you and draw on them. It'll be a win-win experience for all of you.

Be sure to check in with us on Wednesday - you can join in the chat with Teresa Burrell about her own career change and the two mystery novels that have come out of it.

Plan to Return to the Workforce?

In the current economic downturn, many mothers are planning a return to work to make up for their partner's lost income. If you're one of them, you'll need to create an opportunity to focus your energies and see yourself from a new perspective. Stories of other women who have gone through this challenging process can provide helpful insights and thoughts. Once you begin, your experience will give you the incentive to continue.

If you're still feeling overwhelmed about where to start, you can find helpful video tips about how to re-enter the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom and how to prepare for a job interview. And if you want to find the best company for you, Working Mother magazine has compiled several lists to point you in the right direction.

Here are some more useful tactics to put into place as you move forward with your preparations to return to work:

Review how you have dealt with other major changes in your past. What have you learned from your life experiences? Recall what worked and employ the most effective coping strategies once again. Discard what didn't.

Assess your strengths and how you have used them in particular situations before. Has your curiosity or love of learning encouraged you to gather information from the Internet, books or seminars in order to facilitate your decision-making? Whereas certain strengths may come naturally to you, others may have to be developed through hard work. Evaluate how you can build on your assets now.

Don't give in to pessimism, even when solutions seem impossible. When you're faced with difficulties, hang in there as you let go of negative thoughts and preconceived notions of failure. Utilize your personal character strengths - like persistence, hope, integrity, creativity, spirituality - to carry you through. When you create a more positive attitude, optimism will likely follow. Use your power to turn your beliefs, step by step, into positive "what ifs."

Expect to fail sometimes. And when you do, pick yourself up and start over again. Everyone has suffered disappointment along the way - but that has not been the end of the quest. Are you holding on to unrealistic expectations, an unfounded criterion of perfection, an intolerance of anything less than total success? You can learn more from failure than success and treat your setbacks as teaching tools. As you do, you will become more resilient and adaptable.

Align yourself with a higher purpose. You can build a meaningful life for yourself and your family as you form a strong connection to community, country, the world and a spiritual power. The support you gain from these bonds can ground you and give you the strength you need to continue through tough times.

Enjoy your successes and thank those who have helped you. Reward yourself when you reach a significant target and savor the feelings of power that come from your achievement. You deserve it. When others nurture you, expressing your gratitude makes both you and them feel good. Saying "thanks" creates a win-win situation for everyone.

As you begin this journey, trust yourself and your own wisdom as you integrate the changes and create a new and positive direction in life. You may find it hard to get started and even more difficult to keep the forward momentum going. The initial goal may be to uncover the courage to begin the process. If you are looking for some positive role models for success, sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive our free ebook, Courage of Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find the inspiration you need to make this the best time of life.

Practice and Train for Success

The crew of the Maersk Alabama is preparing to head home, with Captain Phillips soon to join them. Americans are cheering their actions and those of the Navy Seals who rescued Capt. Phillips. So how can you incorporate their heroic behaviors into your life?

Respect your job and take it seriously. Capt. Phillips is an alumnus of the Merchant Marine Academy where, undoubtedly, he was trained about what to do in numerous emergency situations. He had a plan to protect his ship and crew and immediately instituted it when the pirates attacked. Train hard for your job and give it the significance it deserves. If you are a Sandwiched Boomer, your work at home is just as important as your career. Pay attention to what is going on in your family and have contingency plans for how to keep members safe.

Don't give up, even when all seems hopeless. Captain Phillips was in a frightening situation when the pirates attacked. Yet he didn't surrender his ship and crew, rather he put his own life at stake. Hot and alone with his captors on the lifeboat for five days, Capt. Phillips didn't admit defeat, instead, when he could, he jumped out of the boat and attempted to swim to safety. When tremendous difficulties hit you, hang in there. Draw upon your personal character strengths - like persistence, hope, leadership, integrity, creativity, bravery, spirituality - to carry you through the ordeal.

Click on the title above to take you to an article on our website, How to Inventory Your Assets. It will help you identify your valuable strong points so that you can draw on them when facing challenges in your life.