Love is More Than a Four Letter Word

With Valentine's Day less than a week away, we continue our focus on the many aspects of love. Filled with the deep pleasure of engagement, we often talk about loving a person, an idea, a place, an experience. The great sense of pure joy and energy springing from such love can keep you warm the rest of the season - a must, now that Punxsutawney Phil has predicted six more weeks of winter.

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Here are two more forms of love to consider this week:

Love what you do. Whatever it is you do each day - a job outside the home, a hobby, volunteer work, caring for your aging parents or growing children - you'll be more fulfilled if you're immersed in it. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi coined the term flow for the experience of focused involvement in an activity. In flow you have a greater sense of clarity and timelessness, with your passion becoming its own reward. Challenge yourself to live a meaningful life to its fullest by creating flow, knowing that you can accomplish your goals. And experience love by making a commitment to act on what you feel.

Love who you are. It's not always easy to love yourself, is it? Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies, seeing our faults more clearly than our strengths. Other times we over estimate our strong points, seeing ourselves through rose-colored glasses. Two thousand years ago, Socrates entreated each of us to Know Thyself. Your challenge today is to recognize your authentic being. When you embrace your frailties and at the same time encourage your growth and the development of your abilities, you can begin to truly love yourself. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin - accept and be true to who you are.

We hope you enjoy your day of love next week - whatever object of your affections you choose to celebrate. Want to tell us about your love? Click on the comment link below and tell us who or what brings happiness to your life.

Virtual Book Tour with T.B. Fisher

Today we welcome T.B. Fisher to our blog for a Virtual Book Tour. He'll be answering questions about his book, Bought In: Reignite, Retool, Rebrand. He's got lots of exciting ideas to share so lets get started:

NR: We understand that you promote a unique way of dealing with problems we currently face.

TBF: Today we face challenges that fundamentals alone cannot solve. Challenges that necessitate utilizing our gift of free thinking. We are called to incorporate three new R’s – let’s call them R cubed (R3) – Reignite, Retool, Rebrand.

NR: Just what does that mean?

TBF: My messages focus on empowering those individuals and organizations whose journey has stalled. Stalled due to unkindly economic realities or just Life’s daily grind. Reignite your passions. Retool your burning desire with acquired wisdom. Rebrand yourself to achieve and succeed.

NR: If stalled, how can you help?

TBF: As a writer, speaker and teacher, I use my voice to encourage and empower. I am able to relate how we can combine the wisdom and knowledge gained though life’s experiences with our past passions to achieve our dreams.

NR: Tell us about your past, your passions.

FBF: I was born and raised in Southern California. My youth was well rounded -- an Eagle Scout, AFS foreign exchange student, athlete, musician. I graduated from UCLA with a BS in Engineering and received an MBA from the University of Southern California. I had accomplished my dreams of sports victories and love triumphs. My life passions were well entrenched getting caught up in various social movements from war to hunger. I thought I had seen it all.

NR: And you hadn’t?

TBF: Not even close. The reality of Uncle Sam’s infamous draft lottery opened my eyes. But nothing like surviving events that never occurred to me-- even with my wild imagination – family illnesses, financial setbacks, professional downsizing, sailing in a hurricane.

NR: What other life experiences have you had?

TBF: As an international businessperson, I conducted sales and operations in virtually every country of the world and traveled to most. I am driven by meeting and working with people of all cultures, climates and dreams. My sorrow is being a witness to worldwide rote behavior-stifling creative solutions. My blessing is a loving wife and six terrific children.

NR: Tell us about your new book.

TBF: “Bought In: Reignite, Retool, Rebrand” is a revisit of the Baby Boomer’s adolescent heritage in the '60's, motivating the reader to incorporate life’s acquired wisdom and past passion to achieving rewired goals - ranging from retooled careers to social reform. In this updated version of my 2009 book, we provide a free, downloadable working journal for the reader's personal exploration, "Dream and Do."

Available also in all e-book formats, the book is written in a quick read style of 52 segments containing thought provoking topics, discussion, affirmations and personalized questions. So, the book can either be used to motivate the reader weekly or in one airplane flight.

NR: How does the book parallel your life? Have we all "bought in?"

TBF: Unfortunately my life mirrors most. With kids and therefore bills, I compromised my youthful zeal. I bought in. I gave my energies to my career. We lived the life of a corporate gypsy, moving 20 times in 20 years. There’s a message here for everyone.

We all get so high on ideals, we fall victim to the realities of life. In doing so we aid and abet the Establishment to flourish. The 60’s weren’t about being dissatisfied with life, it was about tackling injustice, bureaucratic behaviour, ambivalence…No different than social issues we face today. But today, we face personal challenges that require us to tap into those deep-seated passions in order to survive.

NR: Who will benefit from these messages?

TBF: Anyone fallen prey to unkindly economic realities and desperately needing to retool their career. People feeling the need to jump-start social desires stalled by life’s daily grind. Those ready to reignite hibernated passions into missions of personal renewal, family unity or social reform.

NR: Well that sounds like most of us! Thanks for sharing your time with us today. Readers, now is your time to ask your own questions of T.B. Fisher - he's graciously agreed to answer them today. So send in your comments and questions and we'll start the dialogue.

Listing Your Assets and Liabilities

Engage in an active process of getting to know your true self and what you want to do. Think about what you would see if you held up a mirror to your inner self. What nurtures your creative thinking? What stimulates your curiosity? What do you really value and care about? What are your dreams and passions? When you can honestly answer these questions for yourself, you can begin to identify what is your life purpose. Only then can you go about achieving it.

How would you like to share your "assets" with others? Your expertise can be directed to giving back to those in need, to the next generation, to the community, country, world. Begin to practice small acts of kindness – let the harried mother go ahead of you in the grocery line, give up the parking space to the elderly gentleman, smile at the sales clerk who looks like she’s having a bad day. At this stressful holiday time, your thoughtfulness and consideration can mean even more to those around you.

Just as you would calculate liabilities as well as assets when determining your financial net worth, you can look at the areas that you would like to enhance in your personal life. Even if you are a Sandwiched Boomer, this provides a focus for your actions toward self-improvement as the new decade begins. Let 2010 be the start of changes that you have been planning to make but never quite began.

If you would like some more tips about incorporating techniques for success into your daily life, click on the post title above and read, Cheer Captain Phillips and Train for Your Own Success on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

You may not be at the level of Olympic competition in your life as a Sandwiched Boomer, but here are some tips to apply from the athletes as you struggle through the challenge of nurturing yourself as you care for growing children and aging parents.

Find your unique passion and cultivate it. There were hundreds of events at the Olympics, each representing a specific activity that athletes had chosen to pursue. They ranged from rhythmic gymnastics to javelin throwing, from fencing to sailing, from synchronized swimming to boxing. What brings you joy and the ability to be fully engaged? Recognize the creativity and excitement that emerge as you follow your dreams.

Excellence comes with hard work and practice. Learning about the training schedules of Olympic athletes reminds us that accomplishments don't come easy. Repetition is the handmaiden of success. Set long-term goals as well as realistic and incremental steps to reach them. Give yourself credit when you achieve an objective and, as you set the next one, aim to move ever closer toward your ultimate goal. Strive for your personal best - and remember the most important competitor you have is actually you.

Check back tomorrow as we look at some more training techniques you can in incorporate into your life.

On the 7th anniversary of terrorists' attack on our country, Democrats, Republicans and Independents join together to mourn the loss of fellow Americans that terrible day. Both nominees for President will suspend their political campaigning and appear together to honor their countrymen who were killed by terrorists seven years ago today. We too remember their loss on that dreadful day and pay homage to the courageous and heroic actions of rescue personnel who worked tirelessly to save others from dying and later to recover bodies of the dead. We are grateful and thankful for their service to our country.

Just as the other women in the limelight this election season, 54-year old Cindy McCain has combined work and volunteer activities with mothering. Receiving a Masters degree in Special Education, she taught high school students with special needs before beginning her family. The stepmother of 3 children and mother of another 4, one adopted from Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh, Cindy was an active philanthropist for charities throughout the world, most directed to children, as her own were growing. A wealthy woman, she founded the American Voluntary Medical Team to provide medical assistance and food to disaster-struck or war-torn third world countries. Traveling abroad over 50 times to oversee these humanitarian activities personally, she is now actively involved in Operation Smile and other non-profit organizations.

While her level of wealth puts her in a different category than most of us, her balancing act is familiar. Cindy McCain has jumped into her volunteer work with passion and dedication that often take her away from home. As you uncover your own passions, find a way to give yourself the freedom to carry them out. When you are satisfied that you are pursuing your own personal goals as well as those of your family, you will take more pleasure in the rites and responsibilities of motherhood. So follow your dreams - it can be a win-win situation for you and your family in this election year.

We welcome Amy Sherman, author of "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's
Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life," to our virtual book tour.

Amy, how did this book come about?

I developed 10 strategies 29 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and found out I had Crohn's Disease. The devastating news sent me on a negative spiral of depression and fear. However, after reassessing my situation, I realized that I had a great deal of power over how I could handle this health crisis.

It took a lot of determination, faith, inspiration, support and specific techniques to turn my health around and I have used these tools ever since. As a boomer, facing many other challenges now, I knew how effective these techniques really are and wanted to share them with others who were dealing with changes in health and professional or personal losses, such as the empty nest syndrome and aging parents.

How is "Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life" different from other inspirational books?

This book addresses the specific issues and concerns boomers face and how they can overcome them. It does this by examining the fears, self-defeating thoughts, inhibitions and doubts that keep boomers from reaching their full potential. The 10 strategies are reinforced by exercises at the end of each chapter and are enriched with valuable insights about taking personal control and responsibility for one's own life.

What are the biggest mistakes boomers should avoid?

One of the biggest mistakes is self-sabotage. Boomers tend to sabotage themselves by their negative thinking, worry and fear. How can you achieve what you want, when you fear failure or doubt your potential? Another big mistake is taking life too seriously. Laughter and humor are free commodities that diffuse negativity, boost your immune system and reduce stress. Many people forget how important that is.

What is the most important thing boomer women should
know to keep them motivated and inspired?

Boomer women need to remind themselves of their own significance and value. As they age, their roles will change, but they can reinvent themselves at each stage of their lives by making new and exciting goals that are based on their passions. Women need to know that anything is possible if they keep their focus on what they want and that everyone deserves to feel joy and happiness.

Thanks, Amy, for talking with us today. To learn more about Amy's work and her book, go to http://www.bummedoutboomer.com. And please click on "Comments" below, follow the instructions, ask Amy your questions and share your comments.

We want to thank you for helping us achieve our goals in 2007. By your subscribing to our newsletters and reading our blog, we are encouraged to continue speaking out to Sandwiched Boomers. Our very best wishes for 2008 - we hope it's a year where you engage your passion so that your dreams can come true.