Sixty Minute Solutions for Less Stress

If you’re looking for less stress and more mental freedom, you may be a candidate for a tech detox. Instead of 24/7 connectivity and instant gratification that’s no longer so gratifying, how about creating a sacred space where you can daydream and relax?

There’s a backlash brewing in the digital world as more boomers turn gray and information overload increases. How tense are you lately? Stress can manifest physiologically with headaches or stomach upset, emotionally by feelings of irritability or overwhelm, behaviorally through changes in your eating or sleep patterns, cognitively with memory loss or trouble concentrating.

If you can’t afford to take time off and unplug in the south of France, here are practical tips to develop a different mindset and restore balance right here at home:

Seek solitude. Set limits by saying 'no' to others and 'yes' to yourself. A physical place with little opportunity for distraction will free up your thoughts. Try not to worry about mistakes from the past or what the future will bring. As you disconnect, stay in the moment. Carve out an hour every day for quiet time and discover what brings you peace of mind.

Change your attitude. Emotional discomfort can be an opportunity for greater self understanding, and awareness is always the first step toward change. Learn how to face uncertainty with a positive attitude or turn pessimistic ideas into more optimistic ones. Six sessions with a cognitive therapist can teach you a lot about how to reframe your thoughts and gain a different perspective.

Practice meditation. Find ways to attend to your mind and spirit. Learn about techniques of deep breathing or develop a yoga discipline. Drop your thoughts into the space between breaths and steer your mind away from constant stimulation. Think about nothing and completely clear your head. Mindfulness is a concept derived from Buddhism that's central to meditation and involves being present and observant without judgment.

Want to share some ideas about how you disconnect and find moments of mental tranquility? Just click on 'comments' below and follow the prompts. And log on Wednesday for more practical tips about de-stressing your life.

Baby Booomers and Post Traumatic Growth

The last day of our summer vacation with all the family came to a sad ending with my husband's accident. He's been more reflective as he recuperates from knee surgery that will keep him off his feet for the next few months. He's always been able to do it all, and now suddenly there are limitations - just like for the older baby boomers who are coming face to face with the realities of the aging process. But it's not as bad as it could be, especially when it comes with a certain amount of wisdom, the opportunity to enjoy our grandchildren and lots of great memories to savor. And there are lessons to be learned:
Focus on what you can accomplish, not what you can't. When your wellbeing is compromised, it's hard to feel at risk and dependent especially if you're someone who's used to doing everything for everybody. Give yourself an emotional break and recognize the treasures that are an integral part of you. Honor your body by exercising, eating and sleeping patterns that make you feel better. Minimize the situations that cause stress while increasing the ones that give you pleasure.

Find ways to lift your spirits. Call on your inner strength, wisdom and past experiences. Turn to your religious faith or spiritual practice that gives you comfort. Sit outside, enjoy the sun and get your daily dose of vitamin C. Take a nap or two and don't feel guilty about it. Connect often by having friends and family come over and visit. You can create rituals that give you peace of mind and help you relax - journaling, meditation, inward focus, deep breathing.

Build resilience. Although we can't prevent what happens to us, we can have some control over how we handle it. Work on changing your mindset. If you reframe your negative thoughts into neutral or positive ones, you can turn anxiety into energy. Release tension through laughter - watch a sitcom, tell jokes, see a funny movie - and you'll begin to bounce back. Look for the lessons in what you're going through because a good attitude can make a difference in how you navigate your present situation.

All of our thoughts are mental products although they don't necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, they do represent how we feel. And there's no way around how we feel about the challenges of coping with health issues. Be patient and hang in there. The very act of putting one foot in front of the other can lead to a new perspective. Gaining strength from adversity is called post traumatic growth. This crisis may even lead you to feeling more empathy for others and a greater appreciation of what you have.

Despite the strain you're going through, you will find hope. Relish your small feats and set goals for the future. Plan beyond the present and use my husband as a role model. He's making the most of what he calls house arrest and already mapping out our next vacation.

Care-giving 101: Boomers Beware

What an unfortunate end to a terrific week at the lake, with all our kids and grandsons, celebrating my husband's birthday. During one final swim, he slipped on the dock, had to have surgery on a fracture through the knee joint and is now only 10 days into an 8-12 week stint of no weight bearing. And yes, living in a 2nd floor walk-up, we're both counting the days!

When we're busy with our lives and moving along as usual we tend to feel bad for the injured and their caretakers but don’t really give much thought to the challenges they're facing. As with so many other circumstances, it's often through experience that we really know how it feels - and then can access a depth of compassion.

So what's it like for an active, strong willed risk taker to be rendered helpless and in the hands of the woman he's been married to for 45 years? Well, it's a new role for both of us and we're trying to learn as we go. You can't really be prepared for the unexpected but, as we age, we're all vulnerable. So here are some pointers about what we've been doing to make our way through this rough period:

The first days can be the hardest. We take so much for granted. When your partner is incapacitated, the physical and emotional challenges can't help but have a huge impact. And with a reversal of roles, while one may feel vulnerable and upset, the other's emotions can fluctuate from fear to frustration. Yet eventually both can experience a deep sense of support and renewed strength as you draw on the coping strengths that helped you manage difficult times in the past.

What you're feeling is normal. The emotions that surface can affect how you see yourselves, even on a temporary basis. Let the anger, exhaustion, resentment or guilt wash over you but don't give in to them. Try to be hopeful as you adjust to the new reality. You'll take better care of your emotional self if you don't dwell on the negatives and begin to accept that this too will pass.

Care for the care-giver. Look on the bright side of a difficult situation as you balance caring for your partner and taking care of your own needs. Make time for yourself - take a long walk or yoga class, go back to volunteer work or grandbaby sitting, enjoy lunch or a movie with a friend. Recognize what you can manage and that you don't have to do it all alone – and remember that it's OK to ask for help.

If your family has been through this, please share your ideas by clicking on 'Comments' below. And log on again Wednesday when we'll be STILL be talking about the cared for and the care-giver.

How to Decide Which Tour Group is Best for You

Most group tours today consist of Boomers and those 10 years younger. Since we are the generation of joggers, exercise bikers, and elliptical skippers, we are more active and fit than many of our parents. They were happy to sit on a bus and look out of the windows on their first trips overseas. How can a Boomer determine if a tour is too sedentary or too active for her level of fitness? Here are some tips from a fairly fit, though sometimes lazy Boomer traveler and tour operator:

Look at the photos of people in the travel brochure. Do they look like you? What kind of shoes are they wearing? Too dressed up, they are not doing 2 hour walking tours of Rome. Too sporty with hiking boots, they might be outpacing you on a climb to the top of a Turkish hill fort. Their hairstyles will also tell you if this is a casual group or one that ‘dresses for dinner’.

What is the pace of the itinerary? Too many included meals mean a lot of sitting around. More than a half-day bus tour per day means very limited activity. Choose a tour that has a mix of meals, bus tours, free time and some early arrival days at the hotel. Why early arrival? If you have eaten a 4 course French lunch with mousse, then you will want some time to exercise or to take a long walk. Most hotel gyms overseas will be small and, in a European hotel, very limited in scope.

Check the schedule of events for the trip. Factor in your personal tolerance for altitude, dryness, sea level humidity, heat, cold etc. An example is if you go to countries like Guatemala, Costa Rica or Mexico, check the altitude and let your body adjust before you climb the mountain to get the best view. Or if you live in a high city like Denver, you will probably want adjustment time before you do your early morning jog in humid Honduras. I was once on a trip to China with 3 women from the Virgin Islands. They were used to the tropics and to drinking lots of water. Beijing is very dry and it was a cool day. They did not realize how dehydrated they were until one of them turned a weird color and fainted!

Find out how large the group is. A small group moves faster than a group of 50 due to general loading of buses, check-in at airports, delivery of luggage etc.

See if the tour you choose includes a rating for physical exertion. And if not, just be sure you can handle everyday obstacles like cobbled stones in Sicily, broken stairs leading to a Thai temple, sandy walks in Ephesus, steep staircases in the Marinsky Opera House. I am a strong advocate for limited luggage. There will always be one time when you must handle your luggage, even if it is in your hotel room moving from one area to another.

Click on 'Comments' below and follow the prompts - you can even sign on as Anonymous, it's as easy as that! Then ask our guest blogger, Phyllis Stoller, your travel questions. And share your adventure stories with other readers as well.

Three Travel Destinations for Baby Boomers

This week our guest blogger is Phyllis Stoller and her focus is on travel. Her first travels were at the public library with Kipling, James Fenimore Cooper, and Rumer Godden, who grew up in India and wrote wonderful children's books. At age 14 Phyllis went to school in Switzerland, then spent a summer at the Universite de Poitiers in Tours, France. She lived in England for 10 years and has 2 London-born sons. Today Phyllis travels with The Women's Travel Club, a group she started in 1992 and now manages. She boasts she can have her roots dyed in any country but likes the L'Oreal products created for in Arab countries the most.

According to Phyllis, baby boomers are keenly interested in our world and where we as Americans stand in it. Her thoughts about these countries will certainly stimulate your travel appetite:

China, with over 40% of the world’s population, should be visited now. Internal inflation is causing rising prices and, when or if the currency floats, prices will jump threefold. Your first trip to China should, at minimum, include Beijing, Shanghai and Xian. Beijing is significant for its historical import and recent Chinese history plus its proximity to the Great Wall and Ming Tombs. Shanghai is the financial capital of Asia, has an amazing new skyline and excellent museum. Kublai Khan’s capital, Xian, and site of the Terracotta Soldiers, is your third must see. Trips which include Guilin for its scenery usually end in Hong Kong and are pricier. If you can afford it, add a Yangtze Cruise. And if this is your second trip to China, add Yunnan Province in Western China, home of the Stone Forest, and an interesting example of minority dominated border regions.

India, a favorite of most Boomer women, is also a country of far flung and distinct regions. The traditional first trip is to Delhi, Agra, Jaipur and sometimes further into Rajastani desert. This is an early winter trip and one to be done by car. You will experience both the congestion of India and the occasional amazing scene like a painted religious man, camel riding women in colorful saris and hillside forts. Going to China or India? Read Monsoon by Robert Kaplan, which explains the role of countries of the Indian Ocean Basin.

England and London, one of the most vibrant cities with the combination of great (and free!)museums, easy transportation, wonderful local food, and English is spoken. Here are some newer points of interest: South Bank from the Design Museum to Tate Modern with a stop for chow in Borough Market. Explore the area from the Wallace Gallery up Marylebone High Street. Make a day of the National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery, now behind a pedestrian walkway, with lunch in the latter. There are so many delightful regions in England. For those who want a taste of the country with some walking, Country Walks by Time Out Magazine. The book details excellently hikes along with information on how to find a group that fits your fitness level and season of travel.

Having spent time in these countries, I agree wholeheartedly with Phyllis' choices. With new concerns about the economy, for now, many of us will have to dream about travel and put our plans on hold. But if you're collecting information for the future, log on Wednesday for a post about baby boomer fitness for travel.

TED Talks and a New Spin on Aging

Today we have a gift for you we think you'll enjoy – some videos of talks from TED conferences. So grab a cup of tea and watch Dr. Bill Thomas as he shares his innovative ideas about growing older. He calls his amusing but ultimately sobering presentation Elderhood Rising: The Dawn of a New World Age.

Half of the baby boomers born in 1946 have now turned 65 and there's a rapidly growing need for gerontologists like Dr. Bill Thomas. He's the self-appointed spokesman for Elderhood. Honored to act as the PRO aging ambassador, he's spreading the word.

According to Bill, our society has an excessive devotion to youthful adulthood. Isn't that obvious in all the ads for toned bodies, plastic surgery and sexual enhancement? But that obsession is misplaced as everyone eventually outgrows adulthood: "Every day we all wake up one day older and further removed from the epicenter of adult power."

Spearheaded by Bill, there is a rapidly growing movement excited about this new stage in the life cycle – Elderhood. After all, we're all aren't we all elders in the making? And getting older is nothing to be ashamed of - it's time to accept and embrace aging.

So you've been forewarned. There's a tsunami about to hit as boomers face the aging process head-on. Bill says, there's life after adulthood and "it is rich, it is real, it is deep, it is ancient and it is meaningful." I like Bill's humor and passion. You can learn more about him and the work he's doing at ChangingAging.org.

Check out the links below if you're interested in other TED talks from experts in aging. Just in case you're not familiar with this great source of information that is bound to expand your brain cells, TED stands for Technology Entertainment and Design:

Aubrey de Gray says we can avoid aging: This talk is sure to pique curiosity and discussion: Cambridge aging expert Aubrey de Gray draws some compelling parallels between growing old and suffering from diseases. From these conclusions, he believes that age can actually be cured, outlining seven particular points that would need addressing. Slowing the process would certainly quell the suffering of billions and (in theory) allow them more time in which to enjoy life and accomplish goals.

Dean Ornish says your genes are not your fate: Sometimes, genetics seems like a ticking time bomb of bioterror, lurking in wait for specific ages to crop up so they can unleash hell. But Dean Ornish believes that mindful and healthy habits — such as chowing down on chocolate and blueberries – may actually override some of these factors. Trying some of the strategies he recommends slow the aging process and bulk up the brain cells, resulting in the longer, happier life most people seem to want.

Dan Buettner says we can live to be 100+: Blue zones, such as the ones found in Sardinia and Okinawa, boast more centenarians than anywhere else in the world. Dan Buettner has devoted his life to studying their secrets, and uses his lecture time to discuss how these individuals carved out such healthy and lengthy existences. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the answer lay in their simple, healthy lifestyle habits — some of which even date back all the way to the Bronze Age.

Communication, Generosity and Thank You

Did you know that June is effective communication month? As family relationships experts doing much of our work online, every point of contact is a chance to share our mission - how to help boomers find solutions to the problems of parents growing older and kids growing up. The challenge is to convey information that is practical and motivates our readers to take action.

We want to tell you about Fotolia.com, a website that is helping us spread our message this month. They've given us the opportunity to download as many of their photos as we want and feature them in our blog posts, free of charge. This gift will make the visuals on our blog stand out and help us connect with the widest possible audience. If you need photos for your blog, Fotolia has extended their offer to you as well - just click on 'comments' below, let us know if you're interested and leave your email address. We'll get that information to them. You can also check out their website, blog and forums or even put your own exceptional photos on their site.

I've often said that the Internet is like the Wild West, where everyone has a voice but there's no policing agency. Yet we've found it to be an incredibly rich, supportive and generous environment. And how does generosity help make the world go round? Of course, the receiver feels warm and fuzzy. And the giver has a chance to connect, share, and contribute. It's a win/win for everyone. So we're grateful, Fotolia.com, and appreciate what you've done!

The Top 100 Senior and Boomer Blogs

Michelle Seitzer has just published the impressive list of the Top 100 Senior and Boomer Blogs. This year, it's even broken down into categories and descriptions. As a member of the Sandwich Generation facing the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up, this list is for you. And if you work with seniors or want to network, you'll find a wealth of useful information and helpful resources. We appreciate your including us, Michelle! Here's what she has to say:


"Here’s an updated version of our first Top 100 Senior and Boomer Blogs and Websites, to help you stay up-to-date on the latest advances in boomer blogs and senior sites spanning a colossal range of topics. Peruse and use this new list as your hitchhiker’s guide to the most interesting, engaging, helpful, and heartwarming offerings in the virtual galaxy today."

Breaking Free: Changing Your Career

Here on the blog we're always talking about how boomers in the sandwich generation can manage the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. And for many of you, work is a major part of that equation. So if you're less than thrilled with your career and have been thinking about making a change, we have a treat for you.

This week we're featuring Caryn FitzGerald, a guest blogger who will discuss her career change and offer some tips so you can make some changes too. Here is Caryn's view out of the window of her home office and her story:"Fourteen years ago, I graduated from college ready to take on the world. After two decades of education, I walked across the stage, received my master’s degree and into the world of corporate America. My corporate career didn’t last long though as mentors began to share the possibilities available to me as an entrepreneur and I allowed my heart to be open to receive this knowledge, changing the direction of my life’s path forever.

If I had known the details of the options available before I went to college, would this information have made a difference in the path I had chosen? Probably not. But it would have allowed me to be better prepared for what was in store for me upon graduation. It would have given me the ability to make better choices, not be fearful of creating a lifestyle instead of living a life. I would have learned sooner that I had options instead of believing that, in order to survive, I had to be tied to corporate America as an employee with a job.

Jim Rohn once said JOB is an acronym for "Just Over Broke." This is what the vast majority are conditioned to believe is the only means of making a living. It is very rare that a child is told, "don't worry about going to college, find what you feel passionate about, follow your heart and money will flow into your life."

What if there was a way to have the ability to earn as much income as you desire? To decide how many hours a day you would devote to creating an income? To grant you the ability to spend time with family and loved ones without worrying about having more money left over after the bills have all been paid in full? What if the secret to entry into this lifestyle was 100% yours?

The secret lies deep within each of us and, although often brushed against, it is not always recognized or acted upon. Unfortunately, the voice of fear speaks loudly, and many will give in, conforming to the societal norms of working a job instead of following their hearts desire.

What if you could take small steps each day that would allow you to break free from the corporate world and live the life you dream about when you close your eyes each night?

This is possible." Log on here Wednesday, readers, to find out how!

In the meantime, if you want to get started, learn more about Caryn FitzGerald. And check out this website where you'll find lots of articles about career change, from to how to make a hobby work for you to adapting your career in a tough economy.

Generativity is word coined by Dr. Erik Erickson in the 1950s - it describes a stage of psychosocial development when people want to give back to future generations. Here's a Huffington Post article by Marc Freedman, CEO of Civic Ventures, about boomers transitioning to an encore career of public service.

Women in the Sandwich Generation: Begin to Create a Plan for Your Future

Are you busy balancing your work and family life, raising kids and caring for aging parents? Although you're likely making plans for your kids' college and for your parents' care right now, you need to also be thinking about what's next for you.

How ready are you? You may want to watch how Jeannie, a 48 year old new mom, is planning for her future. And see how Maryann has put a long-term care plan in place, so her son won't be in the stressful position she was as her mom needed more help.

A recent survey found that more than 50% of boomers may not have enough money to maintain their current living standards in retirement. Consequently, many will be working past the traditional retirement age so they can save enough to comfortably retire.

How much longer do you plan to work? With the economic downturn, perhaps you can't afford to retire and are counting on your benefits. Or you may think it's important for you to stay engaged and connected, be productive, feel empowered. There are also questions about your 'after work life' that deserve consideration. Do you know what it will cost to live in retirement? Have you budgeted and saved enough money? This information can help you understand some of these retirement issues.

Want to increase your awareness and plan for your unique lifestyle and goals? Learn more about AARP's new educational program - Decide, Create, Share. You'll be able to assess your future needs across home, community, health, legal and finances. Discover how ready you are for the future and use the tips provided to help you stay on track.

Isn't it really all about you living life on your own terms and staying in charge? Browse around HerMentorCenter.com for information and articles to help you care for your family and still nourish yourself. Sign the email list to the left of this post and receive a monthly newsletter full of practical tips for you. And then you can download a free ebook about how to reach your goals. Now's the time for you apply the same competence and energy to yourself that you give to others?!

The Empty Nest in Tough Economic Times

These are tough times, with so many baby boomers suffering from unemployment, money problems and foreclosure. There are plenty of reasons to feel anxious and sad. And if you're dealing with the empty nest, that may feel like the last straw.

Give yourself an emotional break and see what happens. Understand that even though your kids have moved out, you're still needed although not in the same way. Letting go of your parenting responsibilities means letting go of the family role you've played so far. Sit back and breathe in deeply as you appreciate this opportunity to create different relationships within your family.

Practice letting go. Cry if it helps - it's natural to feel plenty of emotion at this turning point. Try to visualize one door closing and another door opening. Relax into feeling more calm and carefree. Let yourself get excited by the possibility of exploring what you want to do with all the free time you now have.

Decide to write regularly in a journal. As you think about all that is happening in your life right now, you will naturally acknowledge the pressure you're feeling. And by identifying and dealing with what is going on for you emotionally, you'll learn to take more control over this process of change. You'll find that journaling is a great tool for reducing stress and increasing self-awareness.

The Newsletter Library of HerMentorCenter.com is packed full of information that can help you move forward. You'll learn from other womens' experiences. And then why not buy Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm for only $2.45 - it will change your attitude and help you cope in these difficult times.

Conflict Resolution for Boomer Couples

Don't you already know there is no perfect relationship? All couples get angry and argue, so you're not alone. But remember, when resolving conflict, keep your words sweet - you may have to eat them. Your arguments may not have as much fallout if you and your partner accumulate positive reserve in your emotional bank account - that is, the more positive interactions and feelings, the less damage.

Agree to stop arguing and postpone a difficult conversation until you're both feeling less upset. Decide, together, to step away and put distance between you and the situation. Take a break and wait until you both are settled enough to listen to each other.

While you're unwinding, think more constructively - for example, his anger isn’t all about me; we really do love each other; she's under a lot of pressure at work; this too shall pass; I'm upset now but I know we’re right for each other.

Throw yourself into an activity that gives you immediate release and stay there for a while - call a friend and let off steam, take a long run in the park, put on earphones and listen to music that stirs your soul.

Distraction can be powerful, no matter what form it takes. Be playful and try humor or turn the controversy into a debate. Using adaptive defenses can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations.

Practicing these strategies can make a difference in the outcome of your disagreements. As Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said, "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility."

Are you an entrepreneur or small business owner? In honor of Effective Communication Month, you can pick up tools to help you communicate better with your customers, clients and prospects - even your spouse! Although you do have to opt-in to get the free gifts of your choice, check out this giveaway to see if it works for you.

And remember to log on tomorrow for our Virtual Book Tour with Dr. Jed Diamond and his new book, "Mr. Mean." Come prepared with questions about the problems in your relationship - you'll receive smart and practical solutions from Jed.

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

Welcome to the 4th annual Ultimate Blog Party. It's a family affair, hosted by twins Janice and Susan, along with their mom, Joan, from 5 MinutesforMom. They have a week of activities planned and all you have to do is show up. Consider this your formal invitation! We've just joined in and see that there's plenty going on - mommy and granny blogs to visit, lots of giveaways and prizes, useful information and chances to connect or network.
But first, we're Phyllis and Rosemary, longtime friends, co-founders of HerMentorCenter, life coaches and co-authors of a book about family relationships. Welcome to our blog, NourishingRelationships. We blog often here and want you to join us as we build community and help you find your voice. Scroll down to see some of our other posts - we hope you enjoy what we have to offer.

You're likely looking for blogs of interest to moms and grandmothers in the Baby Boomer and Sandwich Generation, caring for parents growing older and kids growing up. As you enjoy the party, we'd love to hear about the blogs you visit and women you meet - you can share your comments below.

Want to read interesting stories and learn practical tips on how to move forward in your own life? Here's our giveaway to you: simply sign up on our email list to the left of this post and download a copy of our new ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned.

Here's another offer if you're having issues with your mother-in-law. The author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules, Sally Shields, has created a quiz app for the iPhone. You can find it in the iPhone app store under entertainment. And you can reach Sally at http://www.thedilrules.com/contact/.

When you're ready to get started, just click on the banner at the top of this post. You'll find lots of blogs to visit. Enjoy the party and come back to let us know what you discover!

Baby Boomers and the Empty Nest

Now that autumn is here and your college-aged kids have moved out, you may be feeling unsettled, even melancholy. This can be a complicated time of transition for some families - but not all.

For some parents 'no kids at home' represents a fresh start. Here's what Mira had to say after her youngest child went away to college: "This is the only time I've been completely free since my daughter was born. I spent months after she went away to college just relaxing and doing whatever I wanted, until I got bored. And now I've enrolled in graduate school - I'm going to pursue my passion for learning and an MBA."

So let's figure out what it is that you're really thinking about - how they'll get along in school or how you'll adjust to the empty nest?

All week we'll be focusing on this timely topic and we want to hear from you. If your kids are away at school, what are the unexpected feelings you are dealing with? And, if this transition is behind you, what words of wisdom can you share with all of us?

Settle into the subject by clicking on the title of this post. That will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and an article about How to Love your Kidults by Letting Go.

Learn About Virtual Book Tours

We've been keeping our Virtual Book Tours a secret for too long. Over the past year and a half, here at NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com, we've featured more than 15 authors and their recently published books. You may be wondering why this sort of event has come to be known as a Virtual Book Tour. Because it's like the old book signings, but you don't have to take off your bunny slippers.



Do you see "Archives," to the left of this post? Scroll down to the month you want and click, and then click once again on the specific date of the Virtual Book Tour that interests you. Here's a list to get you started.

2008:

May 22 - "Distress Free Aging: A Boomer's Guide to Creating a Fulfilled and Purposeful Life"
June 19 - "Too Young to Retire: an off the road map to the rest of your life"
July 31 - "A Journey Well Taken: Life after Loss"
October 23 - "Live your Road Trip Dream"

2009:

January 21 - "You Want Me to do What? Journaling for Caregivers"
January 29 - "Wild Things"
April 30 - "Super Granny: Great Things to do with Your Grandkids"
May 28 - "The Blue Cotton Gown: A Midwife's Memoir"
June 11 - "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, A Daughter and the Town That Raised Them"
July 23 - "Second Chance at Your Dream"

Enjoy your reading - and we'll keep you posted on when the next Virtual Book Tour is coming up.

Financial Uncertainty can Trigger Marital Problems

Are you and your spouse worried in these times of financial uncertainty? During any economic crisis, couples have to face tough financial decisions. This can lead to an increase in stress and exacerbate problems that may already exist in your marriage.



Identify what you are feeling. As a first step, write down the emotions that now regularly surface. What is happening between you and your partner when you are feeling sad, scared, overwhelmed, embarrassed or frustrated? Chances are you have emotions ranging from disappointment to anger, and these are constantly changing. Don't worry - this is perfectly normal. But understanding what you feel and why can be the first step toward improving your situation.

Click on the title of this post to read an article from www.HerMentorCenter.com - Boomer Couples and Change: Re-examining your Relationship.

Baby Boomers, Retirement and New Possibilities

Retirement Finds a New Purpose

• Out of the Ashes, New Possibilities - A new and, in some ways, more optimistic vision for retirement is emerging. 60% of Americans now say they view retirement to be "a new, exciting chapter in life" contrasted with 52% last year. And, 70% want to include working in retirement as a way to contribute, remain stimulated and pay the bills.
• Sage Elders Needed - Three-quarters of all respondents think our country would benefit in important ways if retirees were more involved in contributing their valuable skills and experience to our communities, with the most enthusiastic response coming from retirees themselves (83%).
• The Emergence of Philanthropreneuring - With growing interest in civic engagement, the majority (57%) of respondents would prefer a volunteer activity that makes use of their full range of work and life skills and experience - rather than basic service and support tasks.

According to Dr. Ken Dychtwald, CEO of Age Wave: "There's no question that this past year has been a time of struggle and worry. At this point, most of us are taking a deep breath, assessing the damage and trying to figure out how to move forward. As we reviewed the results, we couldn't help reflecting that this study demonstrates the fortitude and resilience of our country as we re-think the funding, timing and purpose of retirement. Though the study uncovered anxiety and uncertainty necessitating shifting plans and priorities, it also revealed a hopeful outlook as a new, more engaged and sustainable model of retirement is being envisioned."

This concludes our review of the 'Retirement at the Tipping Point' study.

Please log on tomorrow for our Virtual Book Tour, featuring "Ask Amy" syndicated columnist, Amy Dickinson and her book, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them."

Baby Boomers, Finances and Family Commitment

According to the research conducted by Age Wave, postponing retirement isn't the only issue Baby Boomers are grappling with as a result of the economic upheaval. Fiscal responsibility and commitment to family weigh heavily on the hearts and minds of those who participated in the study:

Needed: Financial Rehab

• Lessons Learned - Only 4% of respondents strongly agree that Americans behave in a financially responsible fashion. 81% said that to "live within your means" was the most important financial advice parents could pass on to their children - jumping up from 69% a year ago. "Begin saving at an early age" came in second (65%).
• A Call for Financial Fitness at Every Age - An overwhelming 95% of respondents agree that financial management should be a standard part of high school curricula. Although 35 states mandate sex education, only three - Utah, Tennessee and Missouri - have, to date, made personal finance courses a requirement.
• Seeking Financial Peace of Mind - A majority of all survey participants (56%) agree that the best thing about having money is "feeling secure." In recent months, we have seen Americans go "back to basics" as evidenced by an increase in the savings rate, now over 4%, twice the savings rate over the past decade, and household credit card debt has dropped almost 10% from the prior year.

Am I My Brother's Keeper?

• What We Value Most - The majority of respondents (58%) said that loving family and relationships are at the heart of what we hold most dear today - twice as important as being wealthy (33%) and twenty times more important than wielding power and influence (3%).
• Brother Can You Spare a Dime (or $50,000, or a bedroom)? With growing uncertainty about both government benefits and work security, millions of men and women are turning back to their families for financial assistance.
• The Sandwich Generation has Turned Into Multigenerational "Rubik" Families - Four out of ten respondents now worry they will have to financially support their parents or in-laws. This growing interdependence extends to siblings, with nearly a quarter of Millennials worrying they will need to provide care and support for siblings as well.

Baby Boomers, the Economy and Retirement

In early 2009, a study about the effects of the economy on retirement was initiated by Age Wave, a thought-leader on the baby boomer generation. Dr. Ken Dychtwald, CEO of the company, wrote about the results in an article for TheHuffingtonPost.com. We’ll be sharing them with you over the next few days - we think you’ll find them interesting:

The current economic reckoning has created vast financial losses and uncertainty during the last year, triggering all generations to reassess the funding, timing and purpose of retirement. To learn precisely how this past year has altered Americans' retirement hopes, worries, and plans, Age Wave and Harris Interactive have surveyed thousands of Americans. The results uncovered mounting fears and shifting plans, but also a renewed focus on what's important and an optimistic outlook about the possibilities for retirees' new role in American life.

A new era of cautious self-reliance is emerging from a truly unnerving fiscal dilemma. For many people, their retirement dreams have vaporized. Each of the four generations polled is trying to alter its game plan in fascinating ways to seek peace of mind and to make the best of the years ahead. The study revealed 4 key illuminating findings:

Resetting the Retirement Clock

• Seven-Year Money Setback - Nearly 60% of Americans have lost money in mutual funds, 401(k) plans, or the stock market. Respondents think it will take an average of seven years for their investments to recover.
• Uncovered Medical Costs are the Retirement Wildcard - The single biggest worry among those 55+ is that they will be unable to afford uncovered medical expenses (46%). This is now a greater concern than either lack of personal savings (18%) or uncertain entitlements (11%).
• Retirement Postponed - For the first time in U.S. history, we may witness a significant increase in the retirement age as respondents say on average they will now need to postpone retirement by 4.2 years - which will also adjust the "work-to-retirement ratio."

Log in tomorrow for more results from this timely study. And share some of your own thoughts about the economy's effects on you and your family.

NABBW TELESEMINAR: Irritable Male Syndrome and Midlife - Rites of Passages for the Men in Your Life

National Association of Baby Boomer Women two-part Teleseminar:

Tuesday May 19, 2009
3:00 PM (EST)

Jed Diamond, PhD

Author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome. With over 40 years as a licensed psychotherapist, Jed Diamond has been a consultant for business executives who want to use the mid-life passage to achieve life-long personal and professional success. He is Director of the www.MenAlive.com, a program that helps men live long and well. Since its inception, Jed has been on the Board of Advisors of the Men's Health Network. He is also a member of the International Society for the Study of the Aging Male and serves as a member of the International Scientific Board of the World Congress on Men's Health.

In this teleseminar, you'll learn:

* The difference between male menopause, a mid-life crisis, and aging.
* The Irritable Male Syndrome - what it is and how to cope.
* Three things mid-life men need to know to stay healthy and live well.
* The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome: Why midlife men turn mean.
* What is depression and why it's vital to understand it.
* The four key causes of male depression and aggression.
* Suicide: Why it is a predominantly male problem.
* Why men die sooner and live sicker: And what you can do about it.
* How to Bring your irritable man back to life.
* Are men an endangered species?
* Five mistakes women make and ways to get through to a man in denial.

Register for the call by clicking on the title of this post.
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PART II - Questions and Answers will follow
Tuesday May 26, 2009
3:00 PM (EST)