Virtual Book Tour with Kathleen Toomey Jabs

Today we are pleased to welcome Kathleen Toomey Jabs to our blog for a discussion about her new book, Black Wings. Kathleen is a graduate of the United States Naval Academy and also has an MFA in creative writing.  She has written an engrossing mystery set in the world of secret societies, military tradition, and deception. In her novel, Lieutenant Bridget Donovan unofficially investigates the crash of Audrey Richards, one of the Navy's first female fighter pilots, who had been her former roommate when both attended the Academy. What she discovers forces Bridget to examine the concepts of honor, justice and the role of loyalty in pursuit of those ideals.  

NR:  Welcome to our blog today, Kathleen. Our readers are wondering how you came up with the story for Black Wings?

Kathleen:  Actually, it came to me: I had a vision of a female pilot crashing into the sea. I hate flying, but I’ve always been fascinated by aviators.  I worked on this novel for almost ten years, with some breaks.  Over time Audrey evolved as the mysterious central character, her astonishing career witnessed by her roommate, Bridget, who must investigate her death.  

NR:  Can you say a little about the title and what it refers to?

Kathleen:  The title is both a reference to a physical object and also a metaphor. In the Navy, people who are warfare qualified, such as aviators, wear a device on the pockets of their uniforms. In shorthand, the aviator device is referred to as “wings.” As Audrey pursues her dream of flying jets, sets of ominously black wings keep popping up in her path.

NR:  How did your experience at the Naval Academy add to the story?  Did you draw from real life experiences?

Kathleen:  I drew some of Bridget’s early adventures or mishaps from my own experiences. For example, she is originally from Boston and is not a particularly squared-away plebe when she arrives at the Academy. I’m also from Boston and I certainly had my share of culture shocks, especially during the first summer. Some found their way into the story, but I had to change them to fit with Bridget’s character, which is different from mine. As an officer, Bridget is part of the public affairs community. I’m also a public affairs officer or PAO.  I know that world so I had lots of real-life material to draw on, but I wasn't constrained by it.  I used the Naval Academy grounds and the Pentagon, but I also took a lot of liberties. This is fiction!

NR:  What was the most difficult part of writing Black Wings?

Kathleen:  It was hard for me to untangle the story.  I wrote and rewrote the novel at least four times to get the sequencing and chronology right and to make sure the plot was coherent.  I had so many things happening, and I wanted Audrey’s voice to be a part of it.  I had to find a way to get her point of view across.

 NR: Can you say something about the role of women in the military – the difficulties, the triumphs – to which your book speaks?

Kathleen:  The changes for women in the military have been pretty far-reaching since I first affiliated with the military. One of the reasons why I set the book in the early 1990’s was to capture the time of change, churn, and firsts. When I joined the Navy in 1984, many issues were still being worked out, many career fields were off limits, and there was a fair amount of resentment towards women. Today women are much more integrated and have more opportunities. Not everything is resolved now – there will always be some tension, but that’s not necessarily a negative thing. Right now, military women are deployed around the world, showing their competence and professionalism in incredibly difficult situations. It’s very inspiring.

NR:  How would you rate your experience as one of the first women midshipmen at Annapolis?  Did it prepare you for life, how did it influence you?

Kathleen:  I had a first-rate education at the Naval Academy. It wasn’t a fun place to be by any means, but I had some pretty amazing opportunities, such as a chance to study in Ireland, to become fluent in Russian, and to be in really small classrooms with amazing professors, particularly in the English department. I don’t know if I would’ve taken a creative writing class if I'd gone to a civilian college. Molly Tinsley (co-founder of FUZE, my publisher) was my professor and advisor. She nurtured my writing then and is still doing it now – 25 years later!  Another way the Academy influenced me was that I learned to be resilient, disciplined, and tenacious.  That certainly helped me stay with the novel for so long! 

NR: Thank you for joining us today, Kathleen, and telling us about Black Wings. Now, readers, feel free to join in the conversation and ask Kathleen any questions you may have about the story, her experiences balancing her military career and civilian life, the writing process - anything that may be on your mind. Here's your chance to get your questions answered by our author. Simply click on the "comments" link below - we look forward to hearing from you. 

Tax Day Minus One and More

Women are used to multi-tasking, thinking about and dealing with many issues at the same time. Still, your head may be spinning today with the complex activities going on - Emancipation Day, the celebration of President Lincoln’s freeing of slaves in the District of Columbia 150 years ago, Patriot's Day with the 116th running of the Boston Marathon and Tax Day tomorrow when 144 million income tax returns are due to be filed.

Women and taxes are in the news again as the debate continues between moms who work in and outside the home – begun by Hilary Rosen’s comment about Ann Romney - while the Senate discusses the so-called Buffet Rule. Is our society ready to redefine caregiving as productive labor, with support and tax credits? Wherever you stand on these issues, you know that for women it’s a struggle to balance the logistical, emotional and financial demands of work and family. When you’re also caring for an aging parent, you may begin to feel overwhelmed by all of your responsibilities.

If you're a Sandwiched Boomer supporting both your growing children and aging parents, you may have already consulted with a tax advisor about claiming both sets as dependents. After all, you want to conserve as much of your nest egg as you can. With your reduced funds being stretched ever thinner in this economy by the generations surrounding you, Tax Day thrusts your finances front and center.

What about also considering the non-monetary contributions you make to your family in flux? The time, energy, thoughts and emotions you devote to your children and elderly parents can exhaust your core just as your expenses deplete your cash reserves. Are you beginning to feel like a woman on the verge? Instead, use your Tax Day perspective to try out these tips to improve your health and wellbeing:

Maintain balance as you invest your energies in family, career and yourself. You may not be able to attain the perfect level of achievement in any of these, but you can enjoy a sense of accomplishment in your growing strength. To avoid burnout as you shift between caring for your kids and your parents, set aside time for yourself.

Take better care of yourself. When you cope with stress before it becomes chronic, you're better able to take care of your loved ones as well as yourself. As you strive to limit your responsibilities to others, you'll find you have more time for fun and fulfillment in your own life. Go for it – you know you deserve it.

Check back with us again on Wednesday for more tips to help you through tax time. And for some suggestions about coping with stress due to economic troubles you may be facing, consider our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.

Virtual Book Tour with T.B. Fisher

Today we welcome T.B. Fisher to our blog for a Virtual Book Tour. He'll be answering questions about his book, Bought In: Reignite, Retool, Rebrand. He's got lots of exciting ideas to share so lets get started:

NR: We understand that you promote a unique way of dealing with problems we currently face.

TBF: Today we face challenges that fundamentals alone cannot solve. Challenges that necessitate utilizing our gift of free thinking. We are called to incorporate three new R’s – let’s call them R cubed (R3) – Reignite, Retool, Rebrand.

NR: Just what does that mean?

TBF: My messages focus on empowering those individuals and organizations whose journey has stalled. Stalled due to unkindly economic realities or just Life’s daily grind. Reignite your passions. Retool your burning desire with acquired wisdom. Rebrand yourself to achieve and succeed.

NR: If stalled, how can you help?

TBF: As a writer, speaker and teacher, I use my voice to encourage and empower. I am able to relate how we can combine the wisdom and knowledge gained though life’s experiences with our past passions to achieve our dreams.

NR: Tell us about your past, your passions.

FBF: I was born and raised in Southern California. My youth was well rounded -- an Eagle Scout, AFS foreign exchange student, athlete, musician. I graduated from UCLA with a BS in Engineering and received an MBA from the University of Southern California. I had accomplished my dreams of sports victories and love triumphs. My life passions were well entrenched getting caught up in various social movements from war to hunger. I thought I had seen it all.

NR: And you hadn’t?

TBF: Not even close. The reality of Uncle Sam’s infamous draft lottery opened my eyes. But nothing like surviving events that never occurred to me-- even with my wild imagination – family illnesses, financial setbacks, professional downsizing, sailing in a hurricane.

NR: What other life experiences have you had?

TBF: As an international businessperson, I conducted sales and operations in virtually every country of the world and traveled to most. I am driven by meeting and working with people of all cultures, climates and dreams. My sorrow is being a witness to worldwide rote behavior-stifling creative solutions. My blessing is a loving wife and six terrific children.

NR: Tell us about your new book.

TBF: “Bought In: Reignite, Retool, Rebrand” is a revisit of the Baby Boomer’s adolescent heritage in the '60's, motivating the reader to incorporate life’s acquired wisdom and past passion to achieving rewired goals - ranging from retooled careers to social reform. In this updated version of my 2009 book, we provide a free, downloadable working journal for the reader's personal exploration, "Dream and Do."

Available also in all e-book formats, the book is written in a quick read style of 52 segments containing thought provoking topics, discussion, affirmations and personalized questions. So, the book can either be used to motivate the reader weekly or in one airplane flight.

NR: How does the book parallel your life? Have we all "bought in?"

TBF: Unfortunately my life mirrors most. With kids and therefore bills, I compromised my youthful zeal. I bought in. I gave my energies to my career. We lived the life of a corporate gypsy, moving 20 times in 20 years. There’s a message here for everyone.

We all get so high on ideals, we fall victim to the realities of life. In doing so we aid and abet the Establishment to flourish. The 60’s weren’t about being dissatisfied with life, it was about tackling injustice, bureaucratic behaviour, ambivalence…No different than social issues we face today. But today, we face personal challenges that require us to tap into those deep-seated passions in order to survive.

NR: Who will benefit from these messages?

TBF: Anyone fallen prey to unkindly economic realities and desperately needing to retool their career. People feeling the need to jump-start social desires stalled by life’s daily grind. Those ready to reignite hibernated passions into missions of personal renewal, family unity or social reform.

NR: Well that sounds like most of us! Thanks for sharing your time with us today. Readers, now is your time to ask your own questions of T.B. Fisher - he's graciously agreed to answer them today. So send in your comments and questions and we'll start the dialogue.

Make Your Brain Sweat with Novel Challenges

Interested in narratives of remarkable people who confirm that it's never too late to blaze new trails? Journalist Bruce Frankel’s book What Should I Do with the Rest of My Life? is full of stories about those who find passion in lifelong learning, the creative arts and giving back. We asked Bruce a few questions:

Why did you write the book?
Facing unexpected challenges in my career and life in my mid-50s, I decided to write a book about ordinary people who achieved significantly in the second half of life to provide real, not faux, inspiration.

At about the same time, while helping my recently-laid off 84-year-old mother recover from heart surgery, I became fascinated by recent findings in neuroscience about the brain's plasticity into very old age. I took a leap and began researching people whose later life stories demonstrated the remarkable possibilities of reinventing ourselves and the benefits to our brains and lives.

What were the best personal results?
Writing the book and meeting the people whose stories I tell was a gift. They expanded my imagined lifeline for work and provided me with models of how to plow through adversity and find well-being in a life lived with engagement, passion, discipline, and a playful outlook.

I learned the importance of diversifying my activities, rededicating myself to exercise and making my brain sweat with novel challenges. It helped me establish a new career, including public speaking, and to take risks less fearfully, like when I recently accepted my son's request to make a music video with him. Critically, those I interviewed taught me the importance of living life in sync with my own values and dreams. Most amazingly, completing the book, in itself, made me feel successful in ways I hadn't imagined.

In his other life, Bruce worked at People magazine and USA Today. He left full-time journalism, in his 50's, to study for an MFA in poetry.

Read more about What Should I Do with the Rest of My Life? and the award Bruce just received at his website. He also writes a blog about later life achievers, the brain and aging, and, occasionally, dance and poetry.

You may want to sign our email list to the left of this post, and receive a free monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones as well as download a complimentary ebook, Lessons Learned: Reaching For Your Goals.

And please visit our blog again on Wednesday, March 30, when we welcome Susan Swartz for a Virtual Book Tour. She'll be discussing her two books about women 50 and beyond, the women she calls Juicy Tomatoes.

Breaking Free: Changing Your Career

Here on the blog we're always talking about how boomers in the sandwich generation can manage the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. And for many of you, work is a major part of that equation. So if you're less than thrilled with your career and have been thinking about making a change, we have a treat for you.

This week we're featuring Caryn FitzGerald, a guest blogger who will discuss her career change and offer some tips so you can make some changes too. Here is Caryn's view out of the window of her home office and her story:"Fourteen years ago, I graduated from college ready to take on the world. After two decades of education, I walked across the stage, received my master’s degree and into the world of corporate America. My corporate career didn’t last long though as mentors began to share the possibilities available to me as an entrepreneur and I allowed my heart to be open to receive this knowledge, changing the direction of my life’s path forever.

If I had known the details of the options available before I went to college, would this information have made a difference in the path I had chosen? Probably not. But it would have allowed me to be better prepared for what was in store for me upon graduation. It would have given me the ability to make better choices, not be fearful of creating a lifestyle instead of living a life. I would have learned sooner that I had options instead of believing that, in order to survive, I had to be tied to corporate America as an employee with a job.

Jim Rohn once said JOB is an acronym for "Just Over Broke." This is what the vast majority are conditioned to believe is the only means of making a living. It is very rare that a child is told, "don't worry about going to college, find what you feel passionate about, follow your heart and money will flow into your life."

What if there was a way to have the ability to earn as much income as you desire? To decide how many hours a day you would devote to creating an income? To grant you the ability to spend time with family and loved ones without worrying about having more money left over after the bills have all been paid in full? What if the secret to entry into this lifestyle was 100% yours?

The secret lies deep within each of us and, although often brushed against, it is not always recognized or acted upon. Unfortunately, the voice of fear speaks loudly, and many will give in, conforming to the societal norms of working a job instead of following their hearts desire.

What if you could take small steps each day that would allow you to break free from the corporate world and live the life you dream about when you close your eyes each night?

This is possible." Log on here Wednesday, readers, to find out how!

In the meantime, if you want to get started, learn more about Caryn FitzGerald. And check out this website where you'll find lots of articles about career change, from to how to make a hobby work for you to adapting your career in a tough economy.

Generativity is word coined by Dr. Erik Erickson in the 1950s - it describes a stage of psychosocial development when people want to give back to future generations. Here's a Huffington Post article by Marc Freedman, CEO of Civic Ventures, about boomers transitioning to an encore career of public service.

Plan to Return to the Workforce?

In the current economic downturn, many mothers are planning a return to work to make up for their partner's lost income. If you're one of them, you'll need to create an opportunity to focus your energies and see yourself from a new perspective. Stories of other women who have gone through this challenging process can provide helpful insights and thoughts. Once you begin, your experience will give you the incentive to continue.

If you're still feeling overwhelmed about where to start, you can find helpful video tips about how to re-enter the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom and how to prepare for a job interview. And if you want to find the best company for you, Working Mother magazine has compiled several lists to point you in the right direction.

Here are some more useful tactics to put into place as you move forward with your preparations to return to work:

Review how you have dealt with other major changes in your past. What have you learned from your life experiences? Recall what worked and employ the most effective coping strategies once again. Discard what didn't.

Assess your strengths and how you have used them in particular situations before. Has your curiosity or love of learning encouraged you to gather information from the Internet, books or seminars in order to facilitate your decision-making? Whereas certain strengths may come naturally to you, others may have to be developed through hard work. Evaluate how you can build on your assets now.

Don't give in to pessimism, even when solutions seem impossible. When you're faced with difficulties, hang in there as you let go of negative thoughts and preconceived notions of failure. Utilize your personal character strengths - like persistence, hope, integrity, creativity, spirituality - to carry you through. When you create a more positive attitude, optimism will likely follow. Use your power to turn your beliefs, step by step, into positive "what ifs."

Expect to fail sometimes. And when you do, pick yourself up and start over again. Everyone has suffered disappointment along the way - but that has not been the end of the quest. Are you holding on to unrealistic expectations, an unfounded criterion of perfection, an intolerance of anything less than total success? You can learn more from failure than success and treat your setbacks as teaching tools. As you do, you will become more resilient and adaptable.

Align yourself with a higher purpose. You can build a meaningful life for yourself and your family as you form a strong connection to community, country, the world and a spiritual power. The support you gain from these bonds can ground you and give you the strength you need to continue through tough times.

Enjoy your successes and thank those who have helped you. Reward yourself when you reach a significant target and savor the feelings of power that come from your achievement. You deserve it. When others nurture you, expressing your gratitude makes both you and them feel good. Saying "thanks" creates a win-win situation for everyone.

As you begin this journey, trust yourself and your own wisdom as you integrate the changes and create a new and positive direction in life. You may find it hard to get started and even more difficult to keep the forward momentum going. The initial goal may be to uncover the courage to begin the process. If you are looking for some positive role models for success, sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive our free ebook, Courage of Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find the inspiration you need to make this the best time of life.

Strategies for Success at Work

Now the summer is over and the kids have gone back to school, are you thinking about re-charging your career? That might mean a renewed dedication to your current position, consideration of a job change, or starting your own business. If you're re-entering the workforce after a layoff, the issues can be even more complex.

But how do you find the time and energy to revive your career when you are also caring for growing children and aging parents - especially if you are a sandwiched boomer? Here are some practical strategies for success when negotiating the demands of work and motherhood:

Find your unique passion and cultivate it. What brings you joy and the ability to be fully engaged in your job? Recognize the creativity and excitement that emerge as you follow your dreams. When you are in flow, you won't notice the day flying by as you immerse yourself in your projects.

Set carer goals that you can accomplish. Work hard at your job and treat it with the significance it deserves. However, if you are a parent, remember that your work at home is just as important as your career. Pay attention to what is going on in your family and have contingency plans for how to keep members feeling secure.

Put in effort and practice hard to excel. When you strive for your personal best, repetition becomes you partner in success. Set long-term goals as well as realistic and incremental steps to reach them. Give yourself credit when you achieve an objective and, as you set the next one, aim to move ever closer toward your ultimate goal.

Brainstorm and think outside the box. Be creative when you are faced with a complex situation. Often you can improvise when a solution doesn't readily appear. Use your skills to develop resiliency. Your first plan may not work but keep revising until you have plans that you can implement.

Bring all your resources into play. Draw upon you friends, extended family and available community services to help you through the challenges you are facing. Learn to cooperate with others and use teamwork as you strategize and move toward accomplishing your objectives and goals. Relish the support that comes from those who care about you.

Another resource for you is our website, Her Mentor Center. Visit often for support, information and direction as you manage your career and cope with the demands of your family-in-flux. In this tough economy, you'll find our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, provides you with practical strategies for success.

Listing Your Strengths

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give as a Sandwiched Boomer to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, click on the post title above to take you to our article, Captain Sullenberger: Heroes and Lessons Learned, on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

Like Governor Sarah Palin and Dr. Jill Biden, 44-year old Michelle Obama has pursued a fulltime career while raising her two young daughters. After completing her Ivy League education - undergraduate at Princeton University and a law degree from Harvard University - she was working at a prestigious Chicago law firm when she met Barack Obama, who came to work for the firm as a summer associate. After marrying, she continued working, using her legal background, in Chicago political and community activities.

Once her husband began running in the primaries, Michelle combined mothering with appearing on the campaign trail. In her appearances, Michelle has been outspoken in her opinions and beliefs, sometimes making controversial statements, such as "For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback." As the campaign has progressed, she has softened her image from the initial, angry positions she took, portraying herself as the embodiment of the American dream.

Do you feel that, as a woman, you are asked to curb the expression of your own opinions when others perceive them as too harsh? Are you forced, in a sense, to air brush your personality, making it gentler? Is it more important to fulfill the expectations of others or to be your authentic self? All of these questions come to the surface as more and more women move up the career ladder or take on more responsibilities in the family and the world.

The 4 women campaigning for the November election represent divergent political positions but they each are dealing with the same challenges as Sandwiched Boomers - struggling to balance work, personal needs, marital relationship, children and aging parents or in-laws. Of course, the one who has initiated the most discussion about balance between career and family is Republican Vice-Presidential nominee, Governor Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin symbolizes different things to different women. To some she is the ultimate ceiling breaker, the first woman on a Republican Vice Presidential ticket. To others, she embodies the ultimate contradiction between family values and personal ambition. Certain women are asking, can she adequately mother her five children while carrying on the national responsibilities required of a Vice-President. Those questions have not been raised when a father of five takes on enormous challenges in his work life, even today when fathers are more involved in the day to day lives of their children. Is this a double standard or justified by the reality of family needs? Do women face unique pulls when they become wives and mothers? Where are women to look now for their role models as they juggle career and family? What direction will the fight for women's rights take now and in the future? Let us know your thoughts as move through this political season.

Tomorrow we will look at the issues raised by the wife of the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee, Jill Biden.