Thinking About Your New Year's Resolutions

Now that you've made the exchanges in your Christmas or Chanukah gifts, do you think it's time to begin thinking about the changes you want to make in yourself this coming New Year?

You may have your own unique list of improvements you want to make - stop smoking, lose some extra pounds, exercise more, live a healthier lifestyle, spend quality time with family and friends. No matter what makes up your set of New Year's Resolutions, change is never easy. If you're wondering what can help you take that first step, here are some ideas to keep in mind as you get started:

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Be open to trying something new. Let your creativity flourish as you open yourself up to new possibilities. You can strive for something that may have eluded your grasp in the past. Search for a different way to get to where you want to be.

Keep your resolutions realistic. When you honestly believe that you can attain your target, you'll work harder to move in that direction. Setting overly ambitious, idealistic targets that you're unlikely to reach can stop you cold even before you begin.

Break your goals down into smaller parts that you can complete, one at a time. Baby steps taken one after another will transport you a long distance. You'll feel freer to continue knowing that each objective is within your reach.

Visualize yourself accomplishing each objective you set. Athletes are more successful after envisioning themselves playing well. When you create a picture in your mind of going through each step you need to succeed, you'll find that the process is easier to finish.

As you likely know, making the commitment to change is only the first part of actually achieving your goals. It can be difficult to stay on track and backsliding often becomes an issue. But you don't have to do it alone. Visit our blog often in 2012 for practical tips to help you stay motivated and chart your progress as you move forward toward accomplishing your New Year's resolutions. When you reach your target, you'll recognize that all your hard work was well worth it.

Our very best to you for a safe and happy, healthy New Year as we welcome in 2012.

Creating a Holiday Spirit Yourself

If you're newly alone this year, the holidays may remind you of the joys and sorrows of past gatherings. But try to stay focused in the present. Let go of your expectations and instead create celebrations that are meaningful to you now. You'll find your experience of these special days can create new memories to savor throughout the year.

Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now that you've used Monday's tips to get started, here are some more for coping with the holidays on your own:

Consider your finances. You'll need to budget differently this year so consider what holiday expenses you can reduce. Perhaps you and your friends can agree to forgo your usual gift giving and instead exchange homemade treats or enjoy a potluck dinner together. With the continuing tough economy, it's likely they're also looking for ways to cut back on costs.

Create new rituals. Plan to do something different for the holidays this year. There's really not one perfect way to celebrate so change your usual routine and enjoy the excitement of new experiences. Perhaps arrange to get away from home - visit a friend, volunteer in your community, go for a hike, travel nearby. Next year, you can choose to continue with the ones that worked the best for you.

Include others who are alone. You're not the only one whose celebration may be bittersweet this year. Share your holiday by Inviting a single friend or relative into your home or volunteering at a community soup kitchen. When you're making your own holiday preparations, set aside some time for those outside your circle. You can donate toys and books to needy children, cookies to a homeless shelter, music to a nursing home.

As you map out your new strategy for the holidays this year, are you also thinking about other changes you want to make? If you're looking for practical tips that help you take the first steps toward a new goal - running a 5K, starting your own business, reconnecting with an old friend - download our complementary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals. You'll find role models and suggestions there to help you prepare and execute your plans.

Nurturing Your Mom on Mother's Day with More Than Chocolates

With Mother's Day less than a week from now, are you still searching for that perfect gift? Sending flowers, candy and greeting cards are de rigueur for Mom but, as members of the Baby Boomer generation, we recognize that what your aging mother really wants on her special day is to feel nurtured.

Sharon's mother, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, no longer recognized her. Sharon felt very sad but resigned. "Mom is so sweet, even if she doesn't know who I am most of the time. It's now like I’m her mom and I feel good being able to help her when I can. I just want to get her the best care possible." Sharon’s attitude helps her understand the changes in her mother and plan what to do now.

Sandwiched Boomers recognize that aging is a natural progression and a normal part of the life cycle. But just as it is difficult to accept your own aging, when you witness your mother regressing, the facts of life provide scant comfort. Acknowledging your mother's decline in well-being, becomes the first step in your plans for realistic long-term care for her. This week, as you're planning for Mother's Day, we've got some tips to help your Mom know you care about her more than just during those 24 hours:

The gift of time is one of the most precious presents that you can give your aging mother. Spend some quality time with her talking and reminiscing. Look through old family photographs and ask her to tell you stories about when she was a young girl. The time you spend with her now will sustain you both.

Make your mom feel more valued by concentrating just on her - plan another date with her for lunch or shopping. When you pay attention to the details, you'll find you enjoy her company even more. Talk about what you are doing, appreciating and enjoying. Linger awhile in order to make it last.

Research shows that money, title, or good health has less effect on life satisfaction than strong personal relationships. So this Mother's Day, make a commitment to do what you can to improve your relationship and give your mom and yourself positive memories.

Listing Your Strengths

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give as a Sandwiched Boomer to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, click on the post title above to take you to our article, Captain Sullenberger: Heroes and Lessons Learned, on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

Focus on Gratitude During the Holidays - and All Year

Deciding to focus on giving thanks means a whole new mindset. As Albert Schweitzer put it, "To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude." When you follow these steps you can act on the gratitude you experience and live a rich life no matter what time of year or economic environment.

Positive psychology studies have shown that thinking about someone to whom you are grateful and conveying that gratitude increases your own well-being - you will feel less stress and depression and more happiness and pleasure in your lives and relationships. Expressions of gratitude give you a greater sense of purpose in life and more feelings of personal growth and sense of control. And you'll even get a better night's sleep! Not a bad thing for a Sandwiched Boomer, coping with the daily stresses of caring for aging parents and growing children.

Click on the post title above to give you some suggestions about unique gifts of yourself you can give your family this holiday season. You will be able to read our article, Celebrate the Holidays with the Gift of Time.

Increasing Your Gratitude

During this holiday season, do you feel as though the emphasis on presents overshadows the real value of the gifts you give and receive? To be significant, a gift doesn't have to be an actual physical entity - it can be an expression of love, caring and thanks that is given from the heart. For Sandwiched Boomers, caring for aging parents and growing children, these can be the most meaningful gifts of all. When you decide to focus on the people and events in your life for which you are grateful, you will find yourself open to sharing your gratitude with those you love:

Re-live and savor each of these events. Spend time re-creating in your mind the happiness of the experience. You will feel your body becoming more relaxed, your emotions more positive and your thoughts more focused. The joys of life are not only in present activities but also in remembering pleasurable occasions.

Think about what you did to open yourself to these moments. Then decide to direct your actions to include more of these delights in your life. Recognizing your own personal power will strengthen your belief in yourself as well as your willingness to consider the part others play in your happiness.

Realize why this piece of good fortune came your way. It will help you identify the people you're grateful to have in your life. You can then thank them for playing a part in improving your world. Sharing your gratitude can be one of the richest gifts you can give this holiday season - or any day of the year.

We both are grateful to Line Brunet, a family coach, who hosted us last week on her weekly radio show, Family Focus, on Blog Talk Radio. To listen to the full interview, click on the post title above. You will be able to listen to our wide-raging discussion of The Sandwich Generation on your computer or download it to your mp3 player or itunes. If you have any follow-up questions for us about our tips for Sandwiched Boomers caring for a family-in-flux, we'd enjoy hearing from you.

Sandwiched Boomers, what are you dreaming about this holiday season - universal goals like sustaining our planet's resources and gaining energy independence? Or, with the stock market meltdown, are you wishing for some relief from the financial pain? Even in the best of times, the stress that comes with the holidays this time of year can be exhausting. So why not give a gift to yourself?

Take some down time over the weekend. For a couple of hours each day, try not to focus on the problems. Curl up with a great book from the library, watch the ballgame with your teenagers, take your grandkids to the park.

Enjoy peace of mind by paying down your debts. Hold back from buying a lot of gifts or taking the family on an expensive outing. With your children, decide together how to spend a fun and relaxing day. Your family will understand and grow from the experience.

Your emotions will likely come into play as you deal with the complexities of being a Sandwiched Boomer. Pay attention to your moods as you work to express and cope with those feelings.

Guilt runs rampant among Sandwich Generation caregivers who often worry that they're not doing enough for their loved ones. Remind yourself that you're dancing as fast as you can, given the realities of your life situation. You don't have to be the perfect mother, daughter, or wife. Set your own reasonable standards rather than falling in the trap of trying to live up to others' expectations.

Work to release additional areas of negativity - both in thought and emotions. When you are afraid of what the future holds in store or angry about what you need to cope with on a daily basis, acknowledge these as normal reactions and accept that they will come and go. Your frustrations and resentments make up part of the tapestry of your life but they need not be in the forefront. Once you understand that they are common responses to a difficult situation, you will find it easier to let them recede.

As you free yourself from negative feelings, begin to replace them with a more positive attitude. In your journal, write about what you are grateful for in your life. End each evening by reviewing three pleasant things that happened that day and savor the warmth these memories generate. Let your creativity emerge as you explore new interests.

As you recognize how your emotions affect you, begin to institute new ways to achieve more self-fullness. Tomorrow we will address some gifts you can give yourself to lighten the load.

With Mother's Day celebrations just three days ago, how can you in the Sandwiched Generation set the stage this year to let your mom know that you care about her more than just during those 24 hours?

The gift of time is one of the most precious presents that you can give your aging mother. Spend some quality time with her talking and reminiscing. Look through old family photographs and ask her to tell you stories about when she was a young girl. The time you spend with her now will sustain you both.

Make your mom feel more valued by concentrating just on her - plan a date with her for lunch or shopping. Let yourself become absorbed and delight in these pleasurable activities. Pay attention to the details. Talk about what you are doing, appreciating and enjoying. Linger awhile in order to make it last.

On some of your visits do a chore to ease her burden - go grocery shopping together, accompany her to the next doctor's appointment, cook a delicious meal with enough left over for the next day.

Come back tomorrow and we'll give you Sandwiched Boomers some more bite-sized suggestions for nurturing your mother.