Gabby Giffords as an Inspirational Role Model

The courage and dignity shown by Gabrielle Giffords over the past year as she struggled to cope with the results of her horrific shooting were repeated this week as she made the announcement that she will step down today from her position as the United States Representative from her district in Arizona. It was inspiring to watch her smiling face and listen to her halting but strong voice declare her thanks for the support of her constituents and her pledge to return to the people of Arizona.

Photo courtesy of Gabrielle Giffords Congressional Office/Handout/Reuters

When Gabby Giffords was first shot, we blogged here about how the country would react to this crime by a mentally ill gunman. We had some suggestions for getting support in such times of crisis and for managing the stress that comes from an uncontrollable event like her shooting. You can look back over those posts and try on some of the tips we outlined there.

In addition to killing six citizens at the town hall, wounding another 12, and forever changing Gabby's life, the shooting also generated partisan finger pointing, ironic since Giffords had been rated as one of the most bipartisan, centrist members of Congress.

Gabby has been an exemplar of self-respect in her determination to progress in her healing. It is humbling to see her commitment and perseverance as she continues on her road to recovery and rehabilitation.

As you talk with you family about the role model she embodies, you can focus on some of her beliefs, attitudes and actions. Gabby has been:

Determined to move forward
Hard working in her rehabilitation
Optimistic in her outlook
Realistic in her goal setting
Steadfast in her beliefs about reconciliation
Appreciative of the support she's received
Grateful for her friends and family
Loving to her husband
Loyal to her constituents
True to herself
Committed to living a full life

These are all qualities we hope to emulate ourselves and instill in our children. We wish Gabby the very best of luck on her difficult but inspiring journey and support her words today, I will return, and we will work together for Arizona and this great country.

Kick Start a Gratitude Practice

We hope you read Monday's post from our guest blogger, Sherry Belul. She was full of ideas about how to get into the habit of expressing your thanks on a regular basis. If you haven't started your gratitude practice yet, here are more practical tips from Sherry.











Snits
Another great place to introduce gratitude is an unexpected one: when we’re in a snit! It might seem counterintuitive, but when you get to a place in your day where it feels frustrating, depressing, or all-tangled-up, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes, and imagine something you’re really grateful about. Usually for me, I like to think of the last time my son and I shared something really funny or when we’re snuggled in bed and I’m reading to him. Turning my attention to gratitude for something so essential in my life helps put everything in perspective. When I open my eyes, I can more calmly address that computer snafu or the blown-out tire on the car! Sometimes, when I’m feeling really expansive, I’m able to find some gratitude within my fitful situation: “Well, the tire’s blown out, but wow, I’m grateful to own a car.”

Misses
Misses are similar to snits in that these are places in our lives where at first glance it might seem hard to find any gratitude. This is part of the magic. Look for times throughout your day when you feel longing or sadness for something you don’t have, then quick-as-a-wink, you can turn that feeling around by feeling gratitude. For me, it might begin like this: “I’m really depressed that I don’t get to see my mom as often as I’d like.” When I notice that “something’s missing” thought, I turn it around: “I really love my mom. I’m so grateful to have her in my life. I think I’ll call her to tell her I love her.” Bingo. I shifted from “something’s wrong” to “something’s wonderful.”

Wishes
I leaned this place of gratitude from my son when he was three. He was sitting in front of his birthday cake, ready to blow out the candles, when I offered the usual, “Make a wish, honey.” He blew out the candles and I said, “What’d you wish for?” He smiled broadly and proclaimed, “A birthday cake.” Amazing. That moment changed my life. Throughout the days, ever since, I remind myself to wish for things I already have and love. I wish for a witty and fun son. I wish for an apartment in a city I love. I wish for fresh running water. I wish for the ability to do yoga. Watch how fun it is to wish for something and receive it immediately. It’s like having our very own magic Aladdin Lamp!

Gifts
Gift giving occasions are one of the best ways to experience gratitude. And they’re easy ways to include the family. Here’s what you do: next time you need a special gift for someone close to you, set aside ten or fifteen minutes to just think about that person. Let yourself re-experience all the things you love about them and all the shared times you’re grateful for. Let yourself receive the joy of who this person is to you. Then, on your own, or with your family, create a gift that expresses that gratitude. Maybe you all sit around the table together and make a list of what you love about that person and then present it on a scroll or in a hand-made book. Maybe you decide you’re going to each write a letter that includes your favorite memories of that person. Then you bind the letters or you record video of each of you reading them. Maybe you make a book of gift certificates that are things that person needs: help with babysitting or lawn mowing or computer trouble-shooting. There’s an old Jewish saying, “What comes from the heart is received by the heart.” And the beauty of this is that the gratitude you express in your gift will be received not only by the recipient, but also by your own heart.

Email Sherry to tell her your gratitude practice experiences or learn about the one-of-a-kind tribute books she makes at celebrate@Madmoon.com. You can also sign up for Simply Celebrate’s free newsletter.

Giving Thanks - All Year Round

Today, we're delighted to welcome a guest blogger, Sherry Richert Belul. Sherry, mom to a witty and wonderful 10-year-old boy and founder of SimplyCelebrate.net, shares her secrets about giving thanks. Like Martin Luther King, She has a dream - to bring more gratitude into the world.

Some of the best moments of parenthood are those first recognizable words that pop out of our children’s mouths. You know: When ma-ma-mamoo shifts into a solid, “Mama” and it’s obvious that his “dee-dee” refers to the fluffy kitty he is patting with pudgy hand. Usually it isn’t too long after those first thrilling words, that we begin teaching our children the dynamic duo, “Thank you.” (Usually parroted in the oh-so-endearing, “tank-you.”)

Ours is a polite society and it doesn’t take long for children to catch on to saying “thank you” when someone offers them something or does something nice for them. It becomes an automatic response. As well, it’s fabulous that our country has deemed the last Thursday in November as an annual day of thanks. Those two things are so wonderful. But they’re actually just the very tips of the great gratitude iceberg.

In my own life I’ve learned that it’s possible to create an ongoing practice for myself and my family that is a conscious effort to bring gratitude into our lives throughout the day, in a variety of ways. I promise you, if you commit to trying just a couple of these practices for just a couple weeks, you’ll experience the magic of gratitude. Because here’s the secret: every single time we pause to express gratitude for something in our lives, we get to experience receiving that thing all over again. When we’re giving thanks, we’re receiving more of what we’re grateful for. Saying thank you instantly multiples what we have!

Wanna start your own gratitude practice? Below is a “Chinese Menu” of places to begin. These are all simple things that you can incorporate into your day — and suggest to or model for your family. I hope you’ll write and let me know how it goes!

Lists
Gratitude lists are the easiest and most foolproof places to begin bringing more joy into our lives. This is what you do: first thing upon waking or last thing before going to bed, grab a piece of paper or the laptop and make a list of ten things you are grateful for in your life. Could be your daughter’s bubbly laugh. Could be that you can walk, see, or dream. Might be having a fridge full of food. Could be having shared a cup of tea with your friend. Don’t think that the items on your list have to be spectacular, like winning the lottery! In fact, the more we can allow ourselves to feel grateful for the everyday things in our lives, the more things we have to be grateful for!

Lists are a great way to involve your family. In our house, before our meals we go around the table once or twice and each list something we’re grateful for. You can also set aside a time before bed or in the morn when your family writes your list of ten things silently together but then share an item or two that you each wrote down. (Or if the kids are small, you can go around in a circle and share verbally!)

Glitz
Something go your way? Did you get some praise or a raise at work? Find a parking spot at the busy shopping center? Your four-year-old eat some broccoli? You slipped, but didn’t get hurt? Take a moment to offer thanks for these kinds of sparkly moments. Lots of times, I’ll just stop for a few seconds, look at the sky, and whisper “thank you.” Not only does it offer us a chance to truly experience our good fortune, but also I’ve found that it reinforces my desire to look for or create more glitzy situations!

Log on again Wednesday – Sherry will tell us lots more ways to express our gratitude.You can sign up for Simply Celebrate’s free newsletter at www.SimplyCelebrate.net. And learn more about Sherry's ebook, "Present Perfect: It Really is the Thought That Counts," that includes dozens of no-to-low cost gifts that are fun to make and full of love.

Focus on Gratitude During the Holidays - and All Year

Deciding to focus on giving thanks means a whole new mindset. As Albert Schweitzer put it, "To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude." When you follow these steps you can act on the gratitude you experience and live a rich life no matter what time of year or economic environment.

Positive psychology studies have shown that thinking about someone to whom you are grateful and conveying that gratitude increases your own well-being - you will feel less stress and depression and more happiness and pleasure in your lives and relationships. Expressions of gratitude give you a greater sense of purpose in life and more feelings of personal growth and sense of control. And you'll even get a better night's sleep! Not a bad thing for a Sandwiched Boomer, coping with the daily stresses of caring for aging parents and growing children.

Click on the post title above to give you some suggestions about unique gifts of yourself you can give your family this holiday season. You will be able to read our article, Celebrate the Holidays with the Gift of Time.

Increasing Your Gratitude

During this holiday season, do you feel as though the emphasis on presents overshadows the real value of the gifts you give and receive? To be significant, a gift doesn't have to be an actual physical entity - it can be an expression of love, caring and thanks that is given from the heart. For Sandwiched Boomers, caring for aging parents and growing children, these can be the most meaningful gifts of all. When you decide to focus on the people and events in your life for which you are grateful, you will find yourself open to sharing your gratitude with those you love:

Re-live and savor each of these events. Spend time re-creating in your mind the happiness of the experience. You will feel your body becoming more relaxed, your emotions more positive and your thoughts more focused. The joys of life are not only in present activities but also in remembering pleasurable occasions.

Think about what you did to open yourself to these moments. Then decide to direct your actions to include more of these delights in your life. Recognizing your own personal power will strengthen your belief in yourself as well as your willingness to consider the part others play in your happiness.

Realize why this piece of good fortune came your way. It will help you identify the people you're grateful to have in your life. You can then thank them for playing a part in improving your world. Sharing your gratitude can be one of the richest gifts you can give this holiday season - or any day of the year.

We both are grateful to Line Brunet, a family coach, who hosted us last week on her weekly radio show, Family Focus, on Blog Talk Radio. To listen to the full interview, click on the post title above. You will be able to listen to our wide-raging discussion of The Sandwich Generation on your computer or download it to your mp3 player or itunes. If you have any follow-up questions for us about our tips for Sandwiched Boomers caring for a family-in-flux, we'd enjoy hearing from you.

Take the Steps to Recognize Gratitude

Expressing gratitude not only makes others feel better, it also benefits you and your mood. When you focus on what you are grateful for you gain a wide range of benefits. These include sounder sleep, enhanced self-esteem, increased levels of contentment and improved connections with the world around you. Not a bad outcome - especially for a Sandwiched Boomer caught in the midst of parents growing older and children growing up. According to Willie Nelson, "When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around."

You need to become aware yourself of what you are thankful for before you can begin to acknowledge the part others play. Here are some steps to help you get started:

Begin to consciously notice what brings you joy. Awareness is the first step toward creating change. Set aside time to participate in the process of experiencing and acknowledging your gratitude.

Count your blessings. Each evening, note three things that happened during the day for which you are thankful. Be specific as you describe what happened to you. It could be a loving conversation with your partner, a hug from your teenage son, a lunch date with your mother.

For many women, their friends are a great source of happiness. If you want to take a closer look at the importance of friendship, click on the post title above to read our article, Boomer Women and Friendship: The Gift You Give Yourself.

How was your Thanksgiving?

How was your Thanksgiving? For many Sandwiched Boomers, Thanksgiving was spent with family and friends gathered around the table. Most spent a few moments expressing their gratitude for the gifts of love and friendship they enjoy as well as for the many blessings bestowed on them. Saying thank you is one of the first phrases parents try to teach their children, but as adults - especially in this cruel economy - it is often difficult for us to express our gratitude.

We know that in 1621, the Pilgrims first spent a day of giving thanks for their abundance in the "new world." But it took over 100 years, not until 1777, when all of the 13 colonies joined together in a one-time thanksgiving celebration. And it was another 12 years later, in 1789, that President George Washington proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving. Why did it take so long - 168 years - to establish a holiday that now seems to be the favorite among Americans? Maybe it's harder than you think to say, "thank you." We'll look into that all this week.

Even with the harsh economic news - jobless rates way up and the stock market remaining somewhat down - we can still find a lot to be grateful about, especially during the holidays. Families and friends traditionally draw together for support in times of crisis and this year is no different. The gift of appreciation - a heartfelt thank you - can be a daily present this holiday season for those you love. And the cost won't cut into your tight budget at all.

If you want to make some changes in the way your family and friends celebrate the holidays this year, click on the post title above. You'll find some tips for creating new holiday rituals in our article, What the Sandwich Generation Brings to the Holiday Table.

As you begin to feel more confident about yourself and the decisions you make, you can decrease some of the stress you are feeling as a Sandwiched Boomer.

Take control of what is within your reach. And have the wisdom to know the difference between what you can manage and what you can't. In addition, recognize that you don't have to do it all alone. Make the decision to ask for help whenever you need it.

Work on feeling more empowered and get involved in a culture that supports this. Be grateful for what you have by getting outside yourself. Put the focus on others in need – become a mentor to at-risk youths or share your skills and experience with a homeless shelter.

Tomorrow we will finish our tips for managing the stresses in your life - vital in this time of economic uncertainty.