How Sandwiched Boomers Can Fight Inertia

This is a continuation of the tips offered on Monday about how to fight inertia. As Sandwiched Boomers with so much on your plate, you may feel overwhelmed and not know where to begin. Take it slow and easy. If some days you can't follow through with your plans, don't let frustration sap your enthusiasm. Think about all those New Year's resolutions you made when you were young and didn't know better. And then remember the inertia that followed the failure of your short-lived goals. Don't fall victim to that kind of logic.

Photo by Filomena Scalise

Make a public commitment to those who want to see you succeed. By telling your family about your intentions, you create a reality that'll keep you feeling motivated. You'll find it may be easier to lose weight by joining a support group or to stop smoking through an organized program.

Lower your expectations. And, for sure, don't expect anything near perfection. Actually, there is no perfection, so relax. Start out small and be OK with baby steps. If Aunt Bess has moved into the nursing home across town, your only choices aren't either to go daily or not at all. Pile the kids in the car one Sunday a month and enjoy an hour in the park with her and your family.

Give up the pleasure principle – that is, having exactly what you want when you want it. Next time you eat out, instead of finishing up with apple pie a la mode, visualize a thinner you in that little black dress at your upcoming high school reunion. Delaying immediate gratification for future goals will lead to feeling better about yourself - and nourish you way beyond your last bite of dessert.

Savor your power. Positive reinforcement is a major part of any behavior modification program, so reward yourself for a job well done. Choose a pleasurable activity that nurtures you, like a trip to the spa or a yoga class. This kind of attitude will sustain you as well as promote greater self care. And as your goals take shape, you'll shape up.

Our website, HerMentorCenter.com, has lots of complimentary articles full of strategies about how to reach your goals. And in this difficult economic climate, our ebook, Taking Care of Stress in a Financial Storm, may be the best $2.45 gift you can give yourself. The information will help you look beyond the present moment. Why not take this chance to get closer to your goals? As you realize that you are making progress, every day will present a new opportunity.

Giving Thanks - All Year Round

Today, we're delighted to welcome a guest blogger, Sherry Richert Belul. Sherry, mom to a witty and wonderful 10-year-old boy and founder of SimplyCelebrate.net, shares her secrets about giving thanks. Like Martin Luther King, She has a dream - to bring more gratitude into the world.

Some of the best moments of parenthood are those first recognizable words that pop out of our children’s mouths. You know: When ma-ma-mamoo shifts into a solid, “Mama” and it’s obvious that his “dee-dee” refers to the fluffy kitty he is patting with pudgy hand. Usually it isn’t too long after those first thrilling words, that we begin teaching our children the dynamic duo, “Thank you.” (Usually parroted in the oh-so-endearing, “tank-you.”)

Ours is a polite society and it doesn’t take long for children to catch on to saying “thank you” when someone offers them something or does something nice for them. It becomes an automatic response. As well, it’s fabulous that our country has deemed the last Thursday in November as an annual day of thanks. Those two things are so wonderful. But they’re actually just the very tips of the great gratitude iceberg.

In my own life I’ve learned that it’s possible to create an ongoing practice for myself and my family that is a conscious effort to bring gratitude into our lives throughout the day, in a variety of ways. I promise you, if you commit to trying just a couple of these practices for just a couple weeks, you’ll experience the magic of gratitude. Because here’s the secret: every single time we pause to express gratitude for something in our lives, we get to experience receiving that thing all over again. When we’re giving thanks, we’re receiving more of what we’re grateful for. Saying thank you instantly multiples what we have!

Wanna start your own gratitude practice? Below is a “Chinese Menu” of places to begin. These are all simple things that you can incorporate into your day — and suggest to or model for your family. I hope you’ll write and let me know how it goes!

Lists
Gratitude lists are the easiest and most foolproof places to begin bringing more joy into our lives. This is what you do: first thing upon waking or last thing before going to bed, grab a piece of paper or the laptop and make a list of ten things you are grateful for in your life. Could be your daughter’s bubbly laugh. Could be that you can walk, see, or dream. Might be having a fridge full of food. Could be having shared a cup of tea with your friend. Don’t think that the items on your list have to be spectacular, like winning the lottery! In fact, the more we can allow ourselves to feel grateful for the everyday things in our lives, the more things we have to be grateful for!

Lists are a great way to involve your family. In our house, before our meals we go around the table once or twice and each list something we’re grateful for. You can also set aside a time before bed or in the morn when your family writes your list of ten things silently together but then share an item or two that you each wrote down. (Or if the kids are small, you can go around in a circle and share verbally!)

Glitz
Something go your way? Did you get some praise or a raise at work? Find a parking spot at the busy shopping center? Your four-year-old eat some broccoli? You slipped, but didn’t get hurt? Take a moment to offer thanks for these kinds of sparkly moments. Lots of times, I’ll just stop for a few seconds, look at the sky, and whisper “thank you.” Not only does it offer us a chance to truly experience our good fortune, but also I’ve found that it reinforces my desire to look for or create more glitzy situations!

Log on again Wednesday – Sherry will tell us lots more ways to express our gratitude.You can sign up for Simply Celebrate’s free newsletter at www.SimplyCelebrate.net. And learn more about Sherry's ebook, "Present Perfect: It Really is the Thought That Counts," that includes dozens of no-to-low cost gifts that are fun to make and full of love.

Information to Help You Enjoy this Time of Life

Here at Nourishing Relationships, we've developed a rapport with Vibrant Nation, an online community devoted to serving the needs of women over 50 by offering tips as well as the chance to join in conversations about work, relationships, wellness, books, and more. Just as we encourage you to do here at Nourishing Relationships, at VibrantNation.com you can connect with other women at your stage of life and discuss the issues you are passionate about.

One issue that may affect you, as it does many women over 50, is menopause and the symptoms it brings. Vibrant Nation has addressed this issue head on by joining with Dr. Holly Thacker, a physician and Director of the Center for Specialized Women's Health at the world renowned Cleveland Clinic, to publish an ebook dealing with menopause, Recognizing and Treating Menopause Symptoms: A 50+ woman’s guide to managing hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, depression, vaginal dryness, night sweats and other menopause symptoms

I've read the ebook, provided to us by Vibrant Nation, and found it to be a comprehensive guide to menopause, written in a conversational, easy to understand manner. As well as discussing the physical symptoms of menopause, Dr. Thacker clearly talks about treatments for the accompanying experiences - hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, irritability, stress, memory loss, weight gain, hair loss, brain fog - that plague many women. She also tackles all the conflicting information from the media about hormone therapy and explains how you can sift through the data and make your own decisions. Recognizing that each woman is unique in her reactions to menopause, Dr. Thacker's ebook directs you how to find solutions that work for you.

Dr. Thacker has been credentialed as a health expert by NAMS, the North American Menopause Society. Founded over 20 years ago, NAMS is North America's leading nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting the health and quality of life of women through an understanding of menopause.

If you're interested in purchasing Dr. Thacker's ebook from Vibrant Nation, you can find more information on this link to their site: Recognizing and Treating Menopause Symptoms: A 50+ woman’s guide to managing hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, depression, vaginal dryness, night sweats and other menopause symptoms

When you join Vibrant Nation, you can also receive their free report, Top 5 Treatments for Vaginal Dryness and Dyspareunia (Sexual Intercourse Pain) It's full of helpful information about improving your sexual health and increasing your enjoyment of physical intimacy, even after menopause.

For more insight about treating the symptoms of menopause, you can read one of our Stepping Stone's newsletters Navigating Through Menopause, on HerMentorCenter.com and give us your feedback about how they worked for you.

See you back here on Wednesday, December 15, when we'll be hosting a Virtual Book Tour with Barbara Briggs Ward. She'll be answering questions about her new novel, The Reindeer Keeper, which has arrived just in time for the holidays.

Reduce Family Stress during the Holidays

Although the pictures you see are of Christmas trees, presents and smiling faces, there's a lot of chatter about the pressures on families during the holidays. How do you make this season as stress free as possible?

Try to understand what about the holidays is most significant to you and your family. And then decide to focus on what you want to do, not what you think you have to do. Begin to lay the groundwork for change in your family rituals.

Find emotional support. With the challenges of college kids coming home, integrating in-laws into the family and caring for aging parents, take a breather and call a friend. Share your feelings about what's going on in your family - get it off your chest and get some positive feedback.

Gratitude is a powerful emotion. Use it to your advantage. Point out your family's positive qualities rather than focusing on the negatives. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you. See their reaction and notice how it makes you feel.

Perhaps you don't have role models for repairing the family and have to make it up as you go along. Trust yourself in this process. Often the messiness of emotions leads to better understanding. Conflict can serve as an invitation to grow when you honor the importance of relationships. With family, there are no returns or exchanges even with a gift receipt. So embrace the holiday season and rejoice in the love and support of family.

Why not buy yourself a gift that costs less than a cup of coffee? At HerMentorCenter.com, you'll find an ebook Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success that's full of simple strategies that help reduce stress.

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Economic Challenges and Resiliency

Redefining a crisis as a challenge gives you the power to begin, step by step, coping with the situation. See the changes you need to make in this economy as the opportunity to create a more fulfilling life for yourself and your family.

Recognizing your strengths and resources keeps you optimistic and resilient. Click on the NourishRelationships YouTube video for 10-second tips about keeping your perspective in this recession.

When you are able to remain upbeat about your future, you can take advantage of opportunities that may open up to you. Although jobs are scarce, there are some that may become available.

For more tips about how to stay positive during this economic recession, check out our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website.

And visit our website's Family Relationships archive library for other articles to help you learn to nurture yourself.

Taking Care of Yourself in this Economy

You've probably noticed that the economic downward spiral has affected more than your pocket book. For most of us, it has also taken a toll on our feelings of well-being and security. Reports indicate that mental health calls due to financial pressure have increased more than 100% since the crisis began. If you are feeling signs of distress, check out these NourishRelationships YouTube video tips about how to nurture yourself. You'll learn how to take better care of yourself and create a healthier lifestyle for you and your family - even during this financial downturn.

In these times of economic instability, when you may be feeling insecure and powerless, you'll find your friends and family can buffer these negative emotions. Reach out to those who care about you and let them know how much their nurturing sustains you. Expressing your gratitude for their support is good for both you and them - each of you will grow stronger and more powerful. Watch a NourishRelationships YouTube video today for 10-second tips about asking for and receiving support. Even Sandwiched Boomers, caring for growing children and aging parents, can learn to request and gain help in managing their family in flux.

If your stress levels increase as your financial stability decreases, our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website. And visit our website's Family Relationships archive library for other articles to help you learn to nurture yourself.

The Election, the Economy and You

News about the economy continues to be gloomy. Unemployment figures still languish near 10 percent, home foreclosures persist unabated and bankruptcy is the only feasible alternative for many Americans. As the election season moves into high gear, it reflects the mantra of 1992, "it's the economy, stupid." Funds are hard to come by and even battered ones are appreciated.

Actually thriving during an economic crisis may be impossible to achieve, but you can learn techniques to help you deal with these difficult times. All this week, you'll find video tips here to help you cope with the current economy. You can get started with this NourishRelationships YouTube video.

Even with the weak recovery we are experiencing, you and other Sandwiched Boomers can regain some control over your situation by educating yourself, evaluating your finances and making the hard decisions that lead to changes in your lifestyle. For more coping tips about how to put yourself back in charge, watch another NourishRelationships YouTube video.

And if you want to learn how to maintain and even strengthen your family relationships during this time of financial belt-tightening, you can purchase our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website.

The Empty Nest in Tough Economic Times

These are tough times, with so many baby boomers suffering from unemployment, money problems and foreclosure. There are plenty of reasons to feel anxious and sad. And if you're dealing with the empty nest, that may feel like the last straw.

Give yourself an emotional break and see what happens. Understand that even though your kids have moved out, you're still needed although not in the same way. Letting go of your parenting responsibilities means letting go of the family role you've played so far. Sit back and breathe in deeply as you appreciate this opportunity to create different relationships within your family.

Practice letting go. Cry if it helps - it's natural to feel plenty of emotion at this turning point. Try to visualize one door closing and another door opening. Relax into feeling more calm and carefree. Let yourself get excited by the possibility of exploring what you want to do with all the free time you now have.

Decide to write regularly in a journal. As you think about all that is happening in your life right now, you will naturally acknowledge the pressure you're feeling. And by identifying and dealing with what is going on for you emotionally, you'll learn to take more control over this process of change. You'll find that journaling is a great tool for reducing stress and increasing self-awareness.

The Newsletter Library of HerMentorCenter.com is packed full of information that can help you move forward. You'll learn from other womens' experiences. And then why not buy Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm for only $2.45 - it will change your attitude and help you cope in these difficult times.

Boomer Women's Friendships Can Be Complicated

As boomer women in the sandwich generation who are caring for parents growing older and kids growing up, your life may be full of challenges - especially in this tough economy. In times of need, who is it that you turn to?

Whether you need a friend in your court who really understands or one who has your best interests at heart, these tips may help you get what you're looking for:

Receive as well as give support. Perhaps it's hard for you to ask for help if you’re the one who usually provides it. You may think that your strength in coping comes from not needing to depend on others. Friends buffer the effects of distress as well as provide meaning and purpose when you're feeling upset. But they can support you only if you let them in. So try on the behavior. Gaining the courage to reach out can actually enhance your sense of self.

Women’s relationships can be complicated. No one friend can meet all of your needs all of the time. Notice if what you expect from each other tends to lead to misunderstandings. Be straightforward and confront conflicts head-on. And if you're feelings get hurt, talk about it before resentments build.

Lower your expectations. Relationships change throughout life but that doesn't mean they have to end. Recognize that, with balancing work and family, certain standards may be hard to maintain. But other influences for both of you can enrich your friendship, if you're willing to be realistic and patient.

Want more information on this subject? Here's an article in the Huffington Post by Dr. Irene Levine, who wrote Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. And this one is about the physical and psychological benefits of friendship.

Here's the Home Page of our website, HerMentorCenter.com. Look at the menu on the lefthand side of the page and spend some time in the Newsletter Library, Family Relationships and Video Library. If you sign up for our free newsletter, you can download a complimentary ebook about how to reach your goals. And for only $2.45, why not buy our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success? There's lots of practical and easy to use tips on our site just waiting for you!