Are You Feeling Down? Is Your Guy?

In today's society, it seems like there's a lot going on to get us depressed - the economy is still stalled, radioactive water is seeping into the Pacific Ocean around Japan, civil wars are breaking out in Africa and the Middle East, just for starters. Has absorbing all of this thrown you into a tailspin? We've talked before here on the blog about how to cope with your own stress and blues, how to rebuild a sense of resiliency to buffer you from anxiety and worry, and how to help your children when they are feeling pressured by the events around them.

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now we've heard from Jed Diamond, Ph.D., that we need to pay attention to the men in our lives too - according to Jed, they are beginning to catch up to women in their rates of depression. With cases of male depression traditionally being underreported, the concern, among Jed and others researching the issue, is that with the current economic stagnation, the rates of male depression and even suicide will rise even higher. Since men have been laid off in greater numbers and percentages during this economic downturn, it has been labeled a "mancession" by some.

When Jed joined us here for a virtual book tour, he discussed how male depression often manifests in irritable, mean behavior rather than in the symptoms we typically expect. His book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome, highlights signs to notice that could be an indication of these deeper emotional concerns in your guy. You can find out more about this new epidemic on Jed's website.

And to learn about some of our Nourishing Relationships practical tips for managing the pressures you and your family face in these tough economic times, look for our empowering ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success. It's available through our website, Her Mentor Center.

Economic Challenges and Resiliency

Redefining a crisis as a challenge gives you the power to begin, step by step, coping with the situation. See the changes you need to make in this economy as the opportunity to create a more fulfilling life for yourself and your family.

Recognizing your strengths and resources keeps you optimistic and resilient. Click on the NourishRelationships YouTube video for 10-second tips about keeping your perspective in this recession.

When you are able to remain upbeat about your future, you can take advantage of opportunities that may open up to you. Although jobs are scarce, there are some that may become available.

For more tips about how to stay positive during this economic recession, check out our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website.

And visit our website's Family Relationships archive library for other articles to help you learn to nurture yourself.

Taking Care of Yourself in this Economy

You've probably noticed that the economic downward spiral has affected more than your pocket book. For most of us, it has also taken a toll on our feelings of well-being and security. Reports indicate that mental health calls due to financial pressure have increased more than 100% since the crisis began. If you are feeling signs of distress, check out these NourishRelationships YouTube video tips about how to nurture yourself. You'll learn how to take better care of yourself and create a healthier lifestyle for you and your family - even during this financial downturn.

In these times of economic instability, when you may be feeling insecure and powerless, you'll find your friends and family can buffer these negative emotions. Reach out to those who care about you and let them know how much their nurturing sustains you. Expressing your gratitude for their support is good for both you and them - each of you will grow stronger and more powerful. Watch a NourishRelationships YouTube video today for 10-second tips about asking for and receiving support. Even Sandwiched Boomers, caring for growing children and aging parents, can learn to request and gain help in managing their family in flux.

If your stress levels increase as your financial stability decreases, our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website. And visit our website's Family Relationships archive library for other articles to help you learn to nurture yourself.

The Election, the Economy and You

News about the economy continues to be gloomy. Unemployment figures still languish near 10 percent, home foreclosures persist unabated and bankruptcy is the only feasible alternative for many Americans. As the election season moves into high gear, it reflects the mantra of 1992, "it's the economy, stupid." Funds are hard to come by and even battered ones are appreciated.

Actually thriving during an economic crisis may be impossible to achieve, but you can learn techniques to help you deal with these difficult times. All this week, you'll find video tips here to help you cope with the current economy. You can get started with this NourishRelationships YouTube video.

Even with the weak recovery we are experiencing, you and other Sandwiched Boomers can regain some control over your situation by educating yourself, evaluating your finances and making the hard decisions that lead to changes in your lifestyle. For more coping tips about how to put yourself back in charge, watch another NourishRelationships YouTube video.

And if you want to learn how to maintain and even strengthen your family relationships during this time of financial belt-tightening, you can purchase our ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm, available on our Her Mentor Center website.

Creating Happiness

It has been over ten years since I retired from my fulltime practice and spent three months doing volunteer work and traveling in Southeast Asia. The best part of my trip was spending time in the remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan. It was their monarch who defined the concept of Gross National Happiness (GNH) to measure quality of life. And Bhutan is the only country in the world that puts happiness and general well-being at the heart of its government policy. Read this article in Business Week and find out about the other happiest countries.The Bhutanese distinguish four pillars of GNH: sustainable development, cultural integrity, ecosystem conservation and good governance. Their Buddhist ideals demonstrate how material and spiritual development can complement and reinforce each other. This tiny nation of less than 700,000 inhabitants is totally isolated and among the least populated in the world. And it is situated between two of the most densely populated countries, India and China.

Some North American scientists argue that happiness is largely determined by genetics, health and other factors mostly outside of our control. Other experts think that we're all hard wired and stay at a certain level of happiness. They say that, with this set point, no matter whether we win the lottery or have a devastating accident, within a year of the event we return to a familiar emotional level.

But recent research suggests that we can actually take charge of our own happiness and that a large portion of it is within our power to change. Log on Wednesday and Friday of this week - we'll be sharing lots of ideas that you may want to put into practice to boost your sense of well-being. There will also be more terrific photos, thanks to our friend and colleague, Marilee Karlsen.

If you want to get a head start on feeling happier, browse around our website, HerMentorCenter.com, and read this article about dealing with common unhappiness. And why not sign our email list to the left of this post? You can download a free ebook about how to reach your goals and receive our free monthly newsletter with tips about how to create change in your life.

The Children of Michael Jackson One Year After His Death

This week marks a year since Michael Jackson died. After his untimely death, a major focus was the future of his children, Prince, Paris and 'Blanket.' According to Jackson's will, his mother was to raise them - and the judge granted her permanent custody. All the while, pundits were busy predicting who would really take care of them.

The number of boomer grandparents assuming care and financial responsibility for grandchildren continues to increase. Statistics show that over 2.9 million grandparents are raising more than 4.5 million grandchildren. This is particularly true in families that involve a habitual drug user, a single parent or one with a chronic illness.

Despite the superstar status of the Jackson family, there is something quintessentially human and familiar about them. Hasn't each of us, as a result of death or divorce, had a complicated situation in our own family? Do what you can to maintain structure and continuity. By stabilizing the children's environment with a familiar routine, they'll begin to feel less anxious and more secure. Children are resilient. As you consistently model hopeful thinking and positive actions, they are bound to thrive.

If you're caught up in the middle of a painful tragedy or complex crisis, log on to the blog all week for ideas to consider as you begin to take better care of your grandchildren and yourself.

Ready to get started? You can learn more about Michael Jackson and fatherhood from Wikipedia. Read an article about how to turn a crisis into a challenge on Her Mentor Center. And if you click on 'Comments' below, you can share your practical tips about caring for your grandkids.

Michael Jackson and the Media Frenzy

The media frenzy around the death of Michael Jackson was polarized, just like his life. From some there were eulogies of love and devotion. From others there was tabloid sensationalism. You wonder if the speculation about what led to his death will ever be put to rest.

There's something wrong when our society sees fame and celebrity as core values. The intensity of the public spotlight can be traumatic in and of itself. And it's sad that the power to create and destroy is in the hands of pop culture and the media. A gentle soul and vulnerable, Michael Jackson's life was open to public commentary and scrutiny. It looks like perhaps it was just too much for him.



Don't let anything like that happen to you. If you're having a hard time coping, develop the tools and strategies that can make a difference in your life. And trust yourself as you look inside for greater self-understanding and answers to your problems. Use any emotional discomfort you may feel as the signal for a chance to grow.

Focus your thoughts on what you can accomplish rather than on what you cannot. Release your mind from worries and try to work on feeling more empowered. Be grateful for what you have by getting outside yourself and focusing on others in need. Set goals and then begin to follow through with your plans by taking small steps.

Clicking on the title of this post will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and more information on How to Manage Unhappiness.

What Elizabeth Edwards can Teach Sandwiched Boomers about Resilience

As Sandwiched Boomers, I'm sure you already know a thing or two about resilience. But we want to add to your repetoire by posting some thoughts about what we can learn from Elizabeth Edwards.

Since her book, Resilience, was published, the media spotlight has been on Elizabeth Edwards' promotional tour. It's her husband's affair and how she's handling the aftermath that gets the most press coverage. And the pundits have been after her – some expressing compassion, others compassion fatigue. But it's the other life challenges she has faced that most symbolize her inner strength and resilience.

Personal pain - on display for all to see - has played out before in the political arena. But Elizabeth Edwards really does have something to say about handling adversity – she has suffered through the loss of her teenage son in a car accident, the recent death of her parents and her ongoing fight against cancer. And her decision to speak out is very complicated. Wanting to leave a legacy for her children is one reason to speak out in public. And with her courage as a role model, she's demonstrating to others that they can get through their pain.

While we're on the subject of role models, clicking on the title of this post will take you to our website, HerMentorcenter.com, and an article about lessons learned from Tim Russert.

Log in all week for tips about resilience. And share your ideas about how you bounce back when you're faced with tough situations.