Are You Feeling Down? Is Your Guy?

In today's society, it seems like there's a lot going on to get us depressed - the economy is still stalled, radioactive water is seeping into the Pacific Ocean around Japan, civil wars are breaking out in Africa and the Middle East, just for starters. Has absorbing all of this thrown you into a tailspin? We've talked before here on the blog about how to cope with your own stress and blues, how to rebuild a sense of resiliency to buffer you from anxiety and worry, and how to help your children when they are feeling pressured by the events around them.

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now we've heard from Jed Diamond, Ph.D., that we need to pay attention to the men in our lives too - according to Jed, they are beginning to catch up to women in their rates of depression. With cases of male depression traditionally being underreported, the concern, among Jed and others researching the issue, is that with the current economic stagnation, the rates of male depression and even suicide will rise even higher. Since men have been laid off in greater numbers and percentages during this economic downturn, it has been labeled a "mancession" by some.

When Jed joined us here for a virtual book tour, he discussed how male depression often manifests in irritable, mean behavior rather than in the symptoms we typically expect. His book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome, highlights signs to notice that could be an indication of these deeper emotional concerns in your guy. You can find out more about this new epidemic on Jed's website.

And to learn about some of our Nourishing Relationships practical tips for managing the pressures you and your family face in these tough economic times, look for our empowering ebook, Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success. It's available through our website, Her Mentor Center.

Keeping Peace in the Family during the Holidays

Media images of the holidays are often exaggerated and, before you know it, you're trying to conform to unrealistic ideals. Combined with the added pressures and demands on your time, this can lead to emotional overload. Just remember that nothing is perfect.

Now that the holiday season is swiftly approaching, perhaps you're worried that your dysfunctional family dynamics will surface as soon as you get together. Do you think that your mother's inquisitive nature may scare off the first boyfriend your daughter's had in years? Or that your new son-in-law's parents will wonder why your 35 year old son has moved back home again? Following the common sense strategies we'll be sharing, over the next several days, will help you create a more serene holiday season for you and your family:

Realize that the anticipatory anxiety you are experiencing is common. Financial burdens around gift giving and extra chores when entertaining can make you feel apprehensive and stressed. Accept this as a normal reaction.

Make sure that you have realistic expectations and don't take everything personally. Some family members may be struggling with financial, business or marital issues that have nothing to do with you.

Clicking on the title of this post will take you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and more tips about how to handle holiday stress.

Aging Parents and the Masks We Wear

As members of the Sandwich Generation with parents aging rapidly, the transition you're facing may be one of role reversal. Are you taking on more responsibility for your folks as they are less able to care for themselves? Try to take a step back and assess what's going on for you emotionally:

1. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself. You may be in denial about your parents' decline and how that is affecting you. Evaluate your emotional state of mind. If you've been quiet, withdrawn or holding back, are you hiding feelings of sadness? Or if you're frustrated or angry, are you worried about handling all that you have to do? Consider what part of all this may not be in your best interests.

2. Stress can be a catalyst for negative behavior. Reduce the pressures you feel about your parents' situation by getting help from a geriatric care manager or other family members. Honor your body by paying attention to your exercise routine, what you eat, your sleeping habits and what gives you pleasure. Actually schedule some relaxation into your daily routine until it becomes second nature. Remember about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else in the airplane? If you don't take care of your own wellbeing, you won't be able to be there for your parents.

Let us hear from you about some of the issues you're facing with your aging parents. You can click on the title of this post to read an article about how to deal with your parents' tarnished golden years.

Feeling Stressed? So are the Kids

Raising children has never been easy for Sandwiched Boomers, but do you think it's even harder today? Parents have always had to deal with providing for their offspring - food, clothing and shelter as well as a supportive and loving environment where the kids could grow into their full potential. Today, in addition, mom and dad are faced with handling the stresses of an unstable economy and volatile social situations. And the worries we feel are felt by our youngsters as well.

A recent study conducted by Harris Interactive and reported by the American Psychological Association found that 75% of American adults are experiencing moderate to high levels of stress. And, for the first time including youth between the ages of 8 and 17 in the survey, APA found that these preteens and teenagers are worrying too - and in greater numbers than their parents estimate. The survey found that children are experiencing their greatest worries about school and about their family's finances.

So what can you do to help the situation for your kids? Don't try to hide your concerns from them. You can't. They pick up signals from you even when you think you are shielding them from your stresses. Instead, keep the lines of communication open. Talk with them about their worries and let them know how you are handling you own ones. The more you are able to discuss the strains affecting all of you, the better you can all begin to cope with them. As you shift the focus to what you can do to address the pressures, your children may be comforted by recognizing that they have an ally - you are working together as a family to decrease the tensions you face. You may not be able to eliminate the anxiety everyone is experiencing, but you can make a first pass at reducing it.

For some tips about coping with the stresses you may be feeling in our uncertain economy, click on the title above. You can read about weathering economic challenges together at oue www.HerMentorCenter.com article, Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can Think Positive in Tough Times.

Optimistic Women have Lower Risk of Heart Disease

Need a reason to look on the bright side? In a recent study of women 50 years and older, the participants were asked to answer a standard questionnaire that measured optimistic tendencies based on responses to statements like "In uncertain times, I expect the worst." Those scoring highest in optimism on this scale were more likely to be alive eight years later, while those with the lowest, most pessimistic scores were more likely to have died from any cause, including heart disease. Apparently pessimism may be as bad as having high blood pressure, a well-known heart risk factor when it comes to cardiovascular health. That's not such a surprise, says the lead researcher, considering that optimistic people - more hopeful overall - probably have a larger support network, watch what they eat, exercise more and see the doctor regularly. They may cope better with stress, a risk factor that has been associated with high blood pressure, heart disease and early death in previous studies.

The study reveals interesting findings. Now the resarch team plans to replicate them and find out why this association is happening. And study whether a change in attitude can lower the risk of heart problems.

So what do you think - are you generally optimistic or pessimistic? And, if your attitude is more often negative, what can you do to modify it?