Croatia: the Thrill of Travel

I've just returned from a trip to Croatia and want to savor the experience, so I'll be sharing some of my photos and impressions with you this week. We would like you to click on 'Comments' at the bottom of this post and tell us your travel stories as well.

Croatia is a small country, not even as large as the state of West Virginia. And it is very homogeneous, with close to 90% of its four and one half million people identified as Croatian and Roman Catholic.
Interested in a little history? Although Croatia declared its independence from Yugoslavia in 1991, it took four years of sporadic, but often bitter, fighting before occupying Serb armies left Croatian lands. Under UN supervision, the last Serb-held enclave in eastern Slavonia was returned to Croatia in 1998. In April 2009, Croatia joined NATO and it is now a candidate for eventual EU accession.

It's the kind of country I love to visit, where the scenery, culture and history are so different from what I know and the sights are a wakeup call to the senses. The country's history is traced through its museums, ruins, architecture and sculptures. And its picturesque charm is reflected in the multitude of islands and fishing villages that border the Adriatic Sea.










Do you want to know more about the captivating country of Croatia? Here's what wikipedia.org has to say. And if you're thinking about a trip yourself, you can read one woman's story of adventure in the Newsletter Library of our website, HerMentorCenter.com.

For some excellent support in the plannning stage, JourneyWoman.com is a valuable resource. It publishes an online newsletter, connecting women around the globe. And the site presents women's travel stories and offers information about tours, shopping and restaurants. Travel writer, Rick Steves, is also a great source of insight and tips.

A Gift for Chelsea and Marc: Conflict Resolution Strategies

Close to 85% of participants in a recent survey said they're accepting of interfaith marriages. But there can be challenges, especially if issues - like how to celebrate holidays, raise the children, honor life stages - haven't been talked about before the wedding.

Read about conflict resolution from Wikipedia and advice from interfaith couples to Chelsea and Marc. As differences can lead to disagreements, the best you can do sometimes is practice strategies to maximize your strengths:

Minimize emotional overload. Flooding is a physiological arousal that is activated when tensions are high and communication stalls. When quarreling, state a desired outcome and stick to the subject at hand. Try not to blame your partner or get defensive, and take some responsibility for what's going on.

Assume a non-threatening posture. Calibrate your emotions because your body language and tone of voice make a difference. Monitor any negative comments and be slow to criticize. Count to 10 before reacting and, if it looks like the conversation is escalating, walk away.

Agree to a time-out strategy. Before you say something you may later regret, decide to put some distance between yourselves and the problem. Plan to come back to the conversation later and work out a solution. And then take a break until you're less upset and settled down enough to listen without planning a rebuttal.

Find a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Hold your breath for several seconds and release it slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times, brushing away any distractions. Notice how focusing only on each breath can make you feel more calm.

Pay attention to constructive thoughts. You can turn the negatives into more positives. For example, his anger isn’t all about me; we really do love each other; she's under a lot of pressure at work; this too shall pass; I'm upset now but I know we’re right for each other.

Why not familiarize yourselves with these techniques before a situation gets heated. You can create some key words together that will alert you to the potential danger ahead. Perhaps even use teasing, humor and laughter to cut through the drama.

Here's one of many sites that offers information for married couples. Visit our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, and read this article about how to fight fair. And log on to the blog Friday for our concluding post about marriage and conflict resolution.

The Children of Michael Jackson One Year After His Death

This week marks a year since Michael Jackson died. After his untimely death, a major focus was the future of his children, Prince, Paris and 'Blanket.' According to Jackson's will, his mother was to raise them - and the judge granted her permanent custody. All the while, pundits were busy predicting who would really take care of them.

The number of boomer grandparents assuming care and financial responsibility for grandchildren continues to increase. Statistics show that over 2.9 million grandparents are raising more than 4.5 million grandchildren. This is particularly true in families that involve a habitual drug user, a single parent or one with a chronic illness.

Despite the superstar status of the Jackson family, there is something quintessentially human and familiar about them. Hasn't each of us, as a result of death or divorce, had a complicated situation in our own family? Do what you can to maintain structure and continuity. By stabilizing the children's environment with a familiar routine, they'll begin to feel less anxious and more secure. Children are resilient. As you consistently model hopeful thinking and positive actions, they are bound to thrive.

If you're caught up in the middle of a painful tragedy or complex crisis, log on to the blog all week for ideas to consider as you begin to take better care of your grandchildren and yourself.

Ready to get started? You can learn more about Michael Jackson and fatherhood from Wikipedia. Read an article about how to turn a crisis into a challenge on Her Mentor Center. And if you click on 'Comments' below, you can share your practical tips about caring for your grandkids.

Dara Torres and Susan Boyle: How to Reach Your Goals

Continuing our conversation about having the courage to reach for your goals, here are two very different women who exemplify that and can serve as role models:

What about champion swimmer Dara Torres who, in her early 40s, won a medal at the Bejing Olympics? Don't remain a spectator - jump into the game of life and become a winner yourself. Why question whether you're too old to reach your goals or to balance family and career. It's never too late to challenge yourself. With maturity, drive and focus, you can achieve your dreams. Excellence comes with hard work and practice. Learning about the training schedules of athletes reminds us that accomplishments don't come easy. Repetition is the handmaiden of success. Set long-term goals as well as realistic and incremental steps to reach them. Give yourself credit when you achieve an objective and move ever closer toward your ultimate goal. Strive for your personal best - and remember the most important competitor you have is actually you.

British singer Susan Boyle, in some ways, is everywoman. Her first appearance onstage, with the initial negative reaction from the audience and judges, taps into insecurities we all have. Who hasn't felt frumpy or unattractive, unsure of ourselves or at a loss for words? Susan lived a simple life, caring for her elderly mother, singing in the church choir and practicing her music. When you see the instant rejection, it makes you wonder if our society is focused on the wrong things. Let your creativity run wild so that you see yourself from a different perspective. The first step is just to begin the process. Then your positive experiences will soon provide the incentive to continue. There may be some stumbling blocks along the way, but never give up.

Read the rest of Dara and Susan's stories - and discover practical tips that can help you reach your goals - by signing our email list to the left of this post. And learn more about these talented and motivated women by typing in their names on wikipedia.

Helicopter Parents and Teen Self Esteem Month

Did you know that May is National Teen Self Esteem Month? And that a negative self image can affect learning and social skills as well as lead to delinquency, eating disorders and substance abuse? Some experts believe there's a correlation between how much and what kind of control parents exert and how their children experience themselves.

Growing up, perhaps your parents kept such a close watch over you that it felt suffocating. Have you ever thought, now that you're the parent of teens, that you're doing the same thing? As parents, it's perfectly normal to want to advocate for and protect your child. But what is too much?

The term Helicopter Parent refers to those who hover, are overly involved and rarely out of reach. Do you regularly rush to school with forgotten lunch money or speak to teachers about missing assignments? Instead of a sense of entitlement, perhaps it's time to instill a sense of personal responsibility.

Adolescence, with its hormonal changes and peer pressure, can be a challenging stage of development. You may feel ambivalent about backing off, especially if your kids are stressed out or emotionally fragile. But learning to let go is really in the best interests of everyone.

To learn more, wikipedia.com has references and the definition of helicopter parenting. And we'll be sharing our own practical tips with you the rest of this week. If you're ready to get started, sign our email list to the left of this post and download a free ebook - reading it may help you find the courage to take the first step!