Creating Happiness

It has been over ten years since I retired from my fulltime practice and spent three months doing volunteer work and traveling in Southeast Asia. The best part of my trip was spending time in the remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan. It was their monarch who defined the concept of Gross National Happiness (GNH) to measure quality of life. And Bhutan is the only country in the world that puts happiness and general well-being at the heart of its government policy. Read this article in Business Week and find out about the other happiest countries.The Bhutanese distinguish four pillars of GNH: sustainable development, cultural integrity, ecosystem conservation and good governance. Their Buddhist ideals demonstrate how material and spiritual development can complement and reinforce each other. This tiny nation of less than 700,000 inhabitants is totally isolated and among the least populated in the world. And it is situated between two of the most densely populated countries, India and China.

Some North American scientists argue that happiness is largely determined by genetics, health and other factors mostly outside of our control. Other experts think that we're all hard wired and stay at a certain level of happiness. They say that, with this set point, no matter whether we win the lottery or have a devastating accident, within a year of the event we return to a familiar emotional level.

But recent research suggests that we can actually take charge of our own happiness and that a large portion of it is within our power to change. Log on Wednesday and Friday of this week - we'll be sharing lots of ideas that you may want to put into practice to boost your sense of well-being. There will also be more terrific photos, thanks to our friend and colleague, Marilee Karlsen.

If you want to get a head start on feeling happier, browse around our website, HerMentorCenter.com, and read this article about dealing with common unhappiness. And why not sign our email list to the left of this post? You can download a free ebook about how to reach your goals and receive our free monthly newsletter with tips about how to create change in your life.

Sandwich Generation: A Chance to Grow

As a member of the Sandwich Generation, perhaps you are constantly challenged to be the best that you can be. As you assess your resources and strengths, realize that faith in yourself may be your finest quality.

Listen to others but primarily rely on your own instincts. Joannie Rochette believed in what she was doing and concentrated on th Olympics competition. She felt she was where she belonged - it's what her mother would have wanted for her. What is familiar can be calming - have faith in what you’re doing to heal. Realize your hidden internal strength as you trust yourself and look inside for answers. Emotional discomfort can be an opportunity and serve as an invitation to grow.
Increase your capacity to be resilient. It must have been extremely difficult for Joannie to maintain her composure and grace under these circumstances. Just as she has, take it one day at a time. Begin to develop strategies to manage stress and release tension. And you can call on your faith or spirituality. Step by step, you'll be able to turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Haitian Earthquake: Recovery after Loss of Loved One

Like the people of Haiti, trust that you will recover after the loss of your loved one. You can increase your capacity to be resilient. It's not easy to maintain a sense of optimism under these circumstances, but you can thrive in the face of adversity. Call on your faith or spirituality. Develop strategies to manage stress and release tension through relaxation exercises. You may find that you have deeper reserves of courage than you realize.

Thankfully, the world continues to respond to the havoc the Haitian earthquake has created - even a group of homeless people in Philadelphia donated goods to the homeless of Haiti. Although children still cry for missing parents, orphans are joining their new families in the United States, doctors are delivering babies and volunteers are doing the best they can in difficult circumstances.

Paraphrasing former President Bill Clinton, in order for the recovery in Haiti to continue, we need to stay involved in the long run. Take his advice about your own recovery. Practice giving back and you'll continue to heal as you honor your memories. Give back to the community by volunteering for a cause that was important to your loved one. Find your spirit of idealism - reach out to someone who is alone or make a contribution to those less fortunate. Blessings can come out of tragedies. Change society for the better and you'll gradually transform yourself.


Log on anytime tomorrow - we'll be featuring Jed Diamond, Ph.D., L.C.S.W. on our monthly Virtual Book Tour. Read our interview about Jed's book, "The Irritable Male Syndrome: Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression," and then comment or ask your own questions. Looking forward to having you join us.