Getting Back on Track

Whether you're actually driving on a curvy road or trying to navigate the twists and turns of life, you don't always get the advance warning sign of a risk ahead.

Do these unforeseen hazards sound familiar? You've just gotten your finances under control when you bite down on an olive pit and break off part of a tooth. How will you fit the cost of a crown into your budget now? Or you've worked hard to make your new exercise routine a habit - but over-doing it, you've torn a muscle that will take months to heal. So now you're back on the couch, trying to regroup. And the diet that you followed so successfully after the holidays was thrown away with the arrival of your weekend guests. Will you be able to get back on track once they leave?

When these kinds of threats materialize, they can put your carefully worked out plans in jeopardy. What can you do to meet these challenges and move ahead? Here are two tips to guide you in turning setbacks into opportunities:

Act as if you are committed. Make a plan outlining the objectives you need to meet in order to accomplish realistic goals. You're more likely to succeed when you are optimistic and enthusiastic about working to bring your aspirations to reality and give yourself reinforcements along the way to motivate you. Draw on your strengths - both personal and spiritual - as you act to break through barriers. Use all the support and resources available to bolster your own efforts.

Have a Plan B ready for flexibility. Your path will not likely be a straight line but you don't have to be defeated by your slip-ups if you've worked out a contingency Plan B ahead of time. Now take the opportunity to brainstorm novel ways of getting to your goal and continue to refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. When your reactions are not set in stone, you can improvise along the way as you discover what works best and then modify your behavior based on the feedback you get.

There may be limits to what you can accomplish but give yourself permission to begin the process without expecting perfection in your results. Especially if you're a sandwiched boomer, faced with the responsibilities of growing children and aging parents, these tips can help develop the resiliency you need to thrive.

With the price of gas going up and up, you may not be doing much driving right now, but when you do, here's to the joy of an open road - without dangerous curves or hidden perils.

Making Your Own Top Ten List

Now that 2010 is ending, you'll find all kinds of lists on the Internet: the 10 films most likely to be nominated for an Academy Award; the 20 most interesting people, the 5 best books. In addition to spending some of your spare time reading through these lists, how about taking some personal time this week to create your own list – of your 10 most important assets?

It may seem unusual for you, a member of the Sandwich Generation, to concentrate on yourself instead of on the needs of your growing children or aging parents. But take a deep breath, put your feet up for a moment and allow yourself to focus on and embrace your own development at this pivotal time.

Creating your inventory will give you a leg up on beginning 2011 from a position of power - but how do you begin? To help you, we've created a short list to help you focus on your assets - not the financial ones, which may still be down, but the personal strengths you own. Use this process to discover some of your hidden passions. Reflect on your answers or discuss them with a trusted friend as you create an expanded sense of yourself. Whether or not you're a Sandwiched Boomer, here are some tips to get you started:

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, look to the left of this post where you can sign up for our Her Mentor Center newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals, as a complimentary gift from us.

Revisiting the Courage of Captain Sully Sullenberger

As members of the sandwich generation, you may have your hands full with the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. But that's no reason to neglect what you need.

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K? When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder: How do I access my strengths? What can help me grow? Who will I be then?

There are a lot of people we can look to who have had the courage to reach deep inside and make something happen. Take, for example, Captain Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger, the pilot who landed the passenger jet on the Hudson River. Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales - are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we want to feel hopeful again.

Learn to be as prepared as possible ahead of time. Sullenberger was ready. He's a former air force fighter pilot, an expert in safety reliability methods and has 40 years of flying experience. Although you may not need training for an emergency landing, you can become equipped for what lies ahead. If you're making an important presentation at work, setting guidelines for your kidult who can't find a job and is moving back home or talking to your dad about giving up the car keys, learn as much as you can about the issues. Research the subject, write out talking points and get feedback from those whose opinions you value.

This week on the blog we'll be writing short vignettes about people whose names you probably recognize. In their stories, you’ll find practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try on these strategies and see how they can work for you.

If you want to read more about Captain Sullenberger and his remarkable act of courage, sign the email list to the left of this post and download our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. And if you would like to stay in touch with him, you can follow Sully on his Facebook page.

Sandwich Generation: A Chance to Grow

As a member of the Sandwich Generation, perhaps you are constantly challenged to be the best that you can be. As you assess your resources and strengths, realize that faith in yourself may be your finest quality.

Listen to others but primarily rely on your own instincts. Joannie Rochette believed in what she was doing and concentrated on th Olympics competition. She felt she was where she belonged - it's what her mother would have wanted for her. What is familiar can be calming - have faith in what you’re doing to heal. Realize your hidden internal strength as you trust yourself and look inside for answers. Emotional discomfort can be an opportunity and serve as an invitation to grow.
Increase your capacity to be resilient. It must have been extremely difficult for Joannie to maintain her composure and grace under these circumstances. Just as she has, take it one day at a time. Begin to develop strategies to manage stress and release tension. And you can call on your faith or spirituality. Step by step, you'll be able to turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Listing Your Goals

After you identify your strengths and the direction you want to take, begin to develop a concrete plan of action you can follow. Establish short-term objectives that will move you, step by step, toward the long-term goals you have set for yourself. Discover and create your personal vision for 2010 using your newly completed asset inventory.

Think it is too late to start making lists and dramatic changes? Mary Anne Evans was a novelist in 19th century England but believed she need to take a male pen name to have her works taken seriously. Taking the nom de plume George Eliot, she published successful novels such as Middlemarch and Silas Mariner, among others. She wisely advised, "It is never too late to be what you might have been." So decide what you want to be and then make it happen. For more insight and tips about achieving the goals you set for yourself, click on the post title above. It connects you with our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, 8 Strategies to Turn Your New Year's Resolutions into Reality.

Like Susan Boyle, Finish the Song

Susan Boyle had several strikes against her - learning disabilities, anxiety from being bullied by classmates, the kind of scars that do not heal, according to her. But that didn't stop her. She went on to finish the song.

Can you relate to that? We've all had shaping experiences early in life and memories of being misrepresented or misunderstood. As Sandwiched Boomers, you're likely keeping lots of balls in the air and feeling the stress of that. Here are a couple of tips to help you keep going:

Don't be swayed by the attitude of others, no matter whether they sneer or cheer. Focus inward. Access the internal strength and confidence to move forward on your own steam. Pay attention only to what you're doing.

The unexpected can come at any time. Be prepared. Stay motivated as you practice your skills. And pretty soon, step by step, you'll turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Click on the title to read an article on HerMentorCenter.com from our newsletter, Stepping Stones, on Managing Stress.