Sandwich Generation: A Chance to Grow

As a member of the Sandwich Generation, perhaps you are constantly challenged to be the best that you can be. As you assess your resources and strengths, realize that faith in yourself may be your finest quality.

Listen to others but primarily rely on your own instincts. Joannie Rochette believed in what she was doing and concentrated on th Olympics competition. She felt she was where she belonged - it's what her mother would have wanted for her. What is familiar can be calming - have faith in what you’re doing to heal. Realize your hidden internal strength as you trust yourself and look inside for answers. Emotional discomfort can be an opportunity and serve as an invitation to grow.
Increase your capacity to be resilient. It must have been extremely difficult for Joannie to maintain her composure and grace under these circumstances. Just as she has, take it one day at a time. Begin to develop strategies to manage stress and release tension. And you can call on your faith or spirituality. Step by step, you'll be able to turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

Facing Fear at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

We all enjoy watching the skillful way that Olympic athletes are able to compete. But behind their performances in Vancouver are long, hard years of dedication to their sport. Today we look at two more fears they have faced and defeated. You too can triumph over your fears, if you are a Sandwiched Boomer or not.

Overcoming fear of competition. Performance anxiety is a term familiar to many of us as it is one of the most common phobias. Speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno is no stranger to competition, having conquered his own fears and come away a champion, not only on the short-track but also on the dance floor. Ohno entered many races and has already beat the record for the most U.S. medals in the Winter Games. Ohno doesn't always win, but he does strive to perform to the best of his ability each time he competes.

To overcome your own stage fright, there are some techniques you can employ: remember to put the competition into perspective; do deep breathing and relaxation exercises; concentrate on your own actions, not those around you; practice, practice, practice.


Overcoming fear of sacrifice. After 46 years of consistently taking the gold medal in pairs figure skating, Russia/U.S.S.R. was finally was shut out from the medal podium. How did China's Shen Xue and Zhao Hongbo manage such a feat? They endured many sacrifices along the way. The oldest skaters in Vancouver, they have been together for 18 years and married for the past three. After victories amid numerous injuries, they retired in 2007.

But two years later, they put their marriage vows and personal life on hold to retrain and live in the athletes' dorms as they worked to fulfill their dreams of Olympic gold. As you set important goals for yourself, recognize that you too may need to give up some pleasures along the way.

Competing at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

Ever since the first modern Olympic games were held in 1896, athletes have worked hard to 'go for the gold.' Baron Pierre de Coubertin brought the ancient Greek Olympiad back to life to recreate the ideals of physical, mental and spiritual excellence demonstrated by the athletes there. This year, the athletes at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver are competing again, continuing the tradition of training long hours, maintaining a positive attitude, and overcoming their fears - all in an attempt to accomplish their personal best.

Although as a Sandwiched Boomer you may not be vying for any medals yourself, you can learn something about triumphing over worry and apprehension from the stories of athletes around the world. All this week we will be looking at 8 obstacles to consider as you map out your own personal strategy for success. So be sure to join us each day as we focus on how you can learn to overcome your fears.

Competition and Cooperation

Yesterday, in honor of Father's Day, we started a blog series about how to better understand the men in our lives. We looked at how their conversations often revolve around how to fix things, solve a problem, accomplish a goal - that is, when they're not about the score of the latest, or a classic old, game.

Visiting this week with our three young grandsons, it is easy to see how this focus develops early. As we watch them play together, and play with them, it is striking how many of their activities involve competition. Playing H-O-R-S-E on the garage basketball net or hockey in the basement with makeshift goals or baseball at the park - it's mostly about winning, being the best, outperforming the others. Even when we are working together building electric circuits, their need to "be first" - at each and every step - often overwhelms their interest in learning how to create something new. There's no denying that each of the boys seem to feel the need to be at the top of the food chain - it's almost as it their confidence and self-worth depend on it.

We women attempt to socialize the boys and encourage them toward cooperation. But, in most cases, their default is to treat each other as rivals to be beaten. Boys' play tests their abilities to relate to one another through competition as they vie for position. More concrete than girls, they don't generally share their emotions. When they do, usually it's anger and hurt that spill out in response to some slight. Tomorrow, we'll look at how these early differences are reflected in our on-going relations with other males every day.

To read more about grandchildren and our bonds with them, click on the title above to take you to an article on our website, HerMentorCenter.com, entitled "Create Meaningful Bonds with Your Grandchildren Across the Miles."

As you work toward achieving your dreams, it will not always be a direct line to success - often you will stumble along the path. When you do, follow the lead of the Olympic athletes. Vie to gain the prize you seek, even as a Sandwiched Boomer, dealing with your family-in-flux..

Expect to fail sometimes. And when you do, pick yourself up and start over again. Every athlete who has made it into Olympic competition has suffered injury and disappointment along the way - but that has not been the end of the quest. They know that they can learn more from failure than success. You, too, can treat your setbacks as a teaching tool. And as you do, you will become more resilient and adaptable.

Be a good sport. As we have told our children, good sportsmanship is an integral part of athletic competition. Be a generous winner and a gracious looser - acknowledge the efforts of others who are in the contest with you. Think about teamwork and how you can operate together to accomplish your goals. Cooperation can be an important adjunct to competition even with the goal of outperforming others.

Tomorrow we will look at two more skills for you to integrate from the world of coaching.

You may not be at the level of Olympic competition in your life as a Sandwiched Boomer, but here are some tips to apply from the athletes as you struggle through the challenge of nurturing yourself as you care for growing children and aging parents.

Find your unique passion and cultivate it. There were hundreds of events at the Olympics, each representing a specific activity that athletes had chosen to pursue. They ranged from rhythmic gymnastics to javelin throwing, from fencing to sailing, from synchronized swimming to boxing. What brings you joy and the ability to be fully engaged? Recognize the creativity and excitement that emerge as you follow your dreams.

Excellence comes with hard work and practice. Learning about the training schedules of Olympic athletes reminds us that accomplishments don't come easy. Repetition is the handmaiden of success. Set long-term goals as well as realistic and incremental steps to reach them. Give yourself credit when you achieve an objective and, as you set the next one, aim to move ever closer toward your ultimate goal. Strive for your personal best - and remember the most important competitor you have is actually you.

Check back tomorrow as we look at some more training techniques you can in incorporate into your life.

The first time ever, two U.S. women won gold and silver medals in the all-around individual gymnastics competition. For Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson - friends, competitors, teammates - it's been a long journey but their dream came true.

Valeri Liukin, Nastia's dad and coach, competed for the Soviet Union in the 1988 Seoul Olympics. Nastia faced her dad's gold medal every day when she woke up, giving her extra motivation: "Just to be able to see it, having it there in my room and knowing that in a few months I could have one of my own."

Liukin entered these Olympics in the shadow of her roommate in the Athletes' Village. Johnson, the current U.S.champion, got most of the attention and was favored to win the all-around. The pair anchored the U.S. team that took silver behind China's gold on Wednesday.

Liukin said she was not disappointed. But she and Johnson wanted more. They made a calendar to hang over their beds in the village, counting the days until they got their next chance for gold. They wanted to go all out and have fun. And the two pals managed to do both.

"I couldn't be any prouder of Nastia," Johnson said. "She deserved that gold medal. She's one of my best friends and we just want the best for each other."

The silver seemed to whet Johnson's appetite. She wants to try again at the Olympics in London. "I probably would have told you a month ago that I was done but, after being here and experiencing the Olympics, I'd give anything to feel that again. If I can in 2012, I'll be there."

And their advice to other aspiring athletes? Follow your heart, love what you do, work hard and have fun. An excellent exercise for all of us - so stretch into that.