Making Your Own Top Ten List

Now that 2010 is ending, you'll find all kinds of lists on the Internet: the 10 films most likely to be nominated for an Academy Award; the 20 most interesting people, the 5 best books. In addition to spending some of your spare time reading through these lists, how about taking some personal time this week to create your own list – of your 10 most important assets?

It may seem unusual for you, a member of the Sandwich Generation, to concentrate on yourself instead of on the needs of your growing children or aging parents. But take a deep breath, put your feet up for a moment and allow yourself to focus on and embrace your own development at this pivotal time.

Creating your inventory will give you a leg up on beginning 2011 from a position of power - but how do you begin? To help you, we've created a short list to help you focus on your assets - not the financial ones, which may still be down, but the personal strengths you own. Use this process to discover some of your hidden passions. Reflect on your answers or discuss them with a trusted friend as you create an expanded sense of yourself. Whether or not you're a Sandwiched Boomer, here are some tips to get you started:

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, look to the left of this post where you can sign up for our Her Mentor Center newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals, as a complimentary gift from us.

Sandwich Generation: Resolve to Pay Attention

Whether you're a member of the sandwich generation or not, changes in your love relationship are like any personal change - to be successful long term, you need a clear idea of what you want and a good reason to keep going. What follows are some final tips to help you achieve your 2010 relationship goals:

Celebrate good times. Respond enthusiastically when something positive happens to your partner. Make the most of it by asking relevant questions and being complimentary. Studies have found that celebrating positive events predicts greater relationship satisfaction than commiserating over negative ones.

Stay engaged. It's easy to get stuck in a routine and not notice the changes going on around you. Paying attention to what's different about your partner may surprise you, as well as increase your attraction, motivation and connection.

Bring out the best in each other. Studies show that when partners more closely resemble each other's ideal selves, they fare better as a couple. List your personal goals and the qualities you like most in your significant other. Chances are there's an overlap between the self you aspire to and the aspects of your partner that you appreciate the most.

Although improving your partnership may seem overwhelming sometimes, it's really the little things that matter. Expensive gifts and exotic trips are nice, but they're not as meaningful in the long run as simple acts of gratitude and kindness. Long after you've opened the last present or downloaded the vacation photos, that reservoir of goodwill will keep nourishing your relationship. Commit to sustaining your 2010 love resolutions – you won't regret it.

Creating Successful New Year's Resolutions in 2010

Now that you have decided that you are ready to make a change, planning how to achieve your New Year's resolutions is crucial. Acknowledge your role in the process and focus on the strategies that work for you. As you use these tips to turn your goals into reality, enjoy the satisfaction that comes from your success in 2010 and throughout the decade.

When you click on the title above, it will take you to the Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women, an article in the Nourishing Relationships section of our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. Give yourself permission to take better care of yourself - it will give you the balance you need to make your New Year's resolutions a reality.

Tracking Progress in Your 2010 New Year's Resolutions

Today we give you our final tips to help you keep your 2010 New Year's resolutions.

Give yourself credit for what you are accomplishing. You deserve rewards all along the way - for making the decision to change, for taking the first step, for achieving each objective. Acknowledge the difficulty of your mission and congratulate yourself when you reach your goal.

Accept that you are not perfect and that you will fail sometimes. Your path with likely not be a straight line, rather one with several ups and downs. Make a Plan B to use when you can't proceed as you originally intended. Don't be defeated by your slip-ups. They are not a reason to give up on yourself or your goal. Instead, get back on track and think about what you have learned from your mistakes.

You have been working to accomplish the goals you set for yourself in 2010. Click on title above to take you to a www.HerMentorCenter.com article, How to Inventory Your Assets. It will help you focus on your personal strengths and the resources that help you move forward.

Moving Toward the Goals of Your 2010 New Year's Resolutions

Now that you have begun, here are some more tips to keep you moving toward your goal of achieving your 2010 New Year's resolutions.

Continue taking small steps. They will eventually get you where you want to go if you keep moving forward. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to make strides that are too difficult. Continue to set short-term objectives as you progress toward your long-term goal. You may need to refine your strategies along the way as you discover what works best for you.

Keep track of what you are doing. Keep a daily journal focused on how you are implementing your behavior change. Record the pattern of your scheduled walks. Develop a detailed budget and observe how you are spending cash. Write down what you eat every day to give you insight and motivation.

Buddy with a partner. Having someone share your journey makes the process more enjoyable. Join a support group where you can talk about your frustrations, particularly if you are working on abusive or self-destructive behavior. Talk with friends and family about your progress or lack of it. See a professional or look to the Internet for information and resources.

For more encouragement, click on the title above to take you to our article, How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge at www.HerMentorCenter.com. It will guide you and other Sandwiched Boomers in setting up some steps to take when you are making changes in your life.

Taking Steps Toward Your 2010 New Year's Resolutions

Do you feel stuck in your tracks when you want to get started on fulfilling your New Year's resolutions? Here are some suggestions to get you and other Sandwiched Boomers moving in the right direction.

Decide on a realistic goal. Make it a specific one you can attain. If you want to be more physically fit, commit to taking a 30-minute walk three times a week. If weight loss is your goal, resolve to lose two pounds a month so that you are 10 pounds lighter by summer.

Make a public commitment. Tell others about your decision. They will support you and encourage you to stay with your plan. Make a pledge to take yourself seriously as you change your behavior and life style.

Begin, even if it is not an ideal start. Often the hardest step to take is the first one. Rather than waiting until the timing or situation is perfect, jump into your new routine. As Confucius observed centuries ago, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

To understand more about why making any change is so difficult, click on the title above to read the article at www.HerMentorCenter.com, Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia. It will give you more ideas about how to give yourself the boost you need to begin.

Recommitting To Your 2010 New Year's Resolutions

With 2010 now begun, many of us are recommitting to New Year's resolutions based on a firm decision to improve the quality of our lives. If you have made your own personal promises - still an honored ritual at this time of year - how do you avoid another universal tradition - breaking them? We all know that it's easier to say you are going to give up a bad habit than to actually stick to your new plan.

You may have resolved to finally lose the ten pounds that have been plaguing you for years, to start an exercise program you can stick to, to let go of your self-destructive smoking, drinking or over-spending habit. Or, perhaps you're one of the 50% of Americans who vow to spend more time with family and friends in 2010. So where do you begin? And how do you increase the odds that you will continue? With a new decade, you have a clean slate, ready to take your dictation.

Click on the title above to take you to our HerMentorCenter.com article, New Year's Resolutions for Sandwiched Boomers. It gives you 9 ideas about setting New Year's resolutions to reduce pressures for members of the Sandwich Generation. And tune in this week as we give you some tips to help you accomplish your goals.

Happy New Year

It's a common saying, but so true - time flies! Over the next few days, as you welcome the new year, will you be cleaning the slate or clearing your head in preparation for a fresh start in 2010? It's a time to assess the past year - what was good, what was hard and what you want to change. And as Sandwiched Boomers, relationships may be close to the top of your list.

As we all know, 2009 has been a difficult year. The financial crisis created losses on many levels - jobs, comfort, security, income, dreams. But there were many gifts as well, as families banded together and made important decisions about how to move forward despite the odds.
This will be our last blog post of 2009, and we want to thank you for joining us on this journey - we are grateful for your commitment. As you prepare to usher in the new year, take a moment to think about what you need from us as you face the challenges of a family in flux. Whether you've been a quiet observer or more actively involved, we want you to know that this blog is for you. Click on the title above for an article about how to think positive in tough times. And spend some time reading other articles at HerMentorCenter.com that may be of interest. Our best to you in 2010!