Listening and Being Heard on Mother's Day

Likely, you'll leave your pet at home if you're going out for Mother's Day. So who's there to listen attentively to your every word? Whether you're spending some time with your children or your mother on Sunday, you'll appreciate being heard - and knowing how to be a good listener goes along with that, Sandwiched Boomer or not.

Research shows that money, title, or good health has less effect on life satisfaction than strong personal relationships. So this Mother's Day, make a commitment to do what you can to improve the communications in your relationship with your mom as well as your grown children.

Just as you recognize it with your aging mother, let your kids know that the gift of time is one of the most precious presents you can receive. Spend some quality time with these close family members, talking and reminiscing. Look through old family photographs and share stories about when everyone was younger. The time you spend together will nourish you when you're apart.

For some special time with your mom or grown children, you will all feel more valued if you screen out the daily hassles and concentrate just on each other - plan an activity that you will both enjoy. Let yourselves become absorbed and delight in these pleasurable activities. Pay attention to the details. Talk about what you are doing, appreciating and enjoying. Linger awhile in order to make it last.

If you have some old issues to work out with your mother or your kids, you may be able to move forward in addressing them by apologizing or forgiving. When you apologize, you free yourself from shame or guilt and when you forgive, from dwelling on anger or resentment. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily excuse the action, but does free you from ruminating about it. It releases you from the past and becomes a gift you give to yourself.

Allow yourself to express the gratitude you feel having this family in your life. Enjoy your day and savor these moments. Reflect on the positive feelings you have from the past and cultivate rich memories now to sustain you in the future. And have a happy Mother's Day.

For a unique gift to your mom or your kids in honor of Mother's Day, why not arrange for them to have a copy of our new ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned? It's easy to do, just click on the link to the left.

Sandwich Generation: Resolve to Pay Attention

Whether you're a member of the sandwich generation or not, changes in your love relationship are like any personal change - to be successful long term, you need a clear idea of what you want and a good reason to keep going. What follows are some final tips to help you achieve your 2010 relationship goals:

Celebrate good times. Respond enthusiastically when something positive happens to your partner. Make the most of it by asking relevant questions and being complimentary. Studies have found that celebrating positive events predicts greater relationship satisfaction than commiserating over negative ones.

Stay engaged. It's easy to get stuck in a routine and not notice the changes going on around you. Paying attention to what's different about your partner may surprise you, as well as increase your attraction, motivation and connection.

Bring out the best in each other. Studies show that when partners more closely resemble each other's ideal selves, they fare better as a couple. List your personal goals and the qualities you like most in your significant other. Chances are there's an overlap between the self you aspire to and the aspects of your partner that you appreciate the most.

Although improving your partnership may seem overwhelming sometimes, it's really the little things that matter. Expensive gifts and exotic trips are nice, but they're not as meaningful in the long run as simple acts of gratitude and kindness. Long after you've opened the last present or downloaded the vacation photos, that reservoir of goodwill will keep nourishing your relationship. Commit to sustaining your 2010 love resolutions – you won't regret it.

Sandwich Generation: Resolve to Be Present

As Sandwiched Booomers caring for a family in flux, are there times when you're preoccupied and distracted? And you and your love relationship take a back seat? You may even accept it as the new normal, but it doesn't have to be this way. The following tips can help energize you and your partner:

Express your gratitude often. Remembering to thank your spouse may sound simple but it helps bring to mind their good qualities. Compliments can serve as a positive reinforcement at times when you may be taking each other for granted.

Stay connected. A gentle touch or a quick hug can release oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates bonding as well as reduces blood pressure and stress levels. When you're feeling tense, an affectionate moment can help you feel closer, loved and more relaxed.

Pay attention to you. Investing in your own happiness will take the pressure off the relationship as the main source of your wellbeing. Take positive action in your own life. You'll have a better attitude, be more interesting to your partner, and your relationship will reap the dividends.

If you want more ideas about how to strengthen your relationship, click on the title above. And log on tomorrow and Friday for our monthly Virtual Book Tour - we'll be featuring Susan Shaffer and Linda Gordon and their book about mother/daughter relationships, "Too Close for Comfort." On Saturday we'll finish up this series of posts on love relationship resolutions.