Revisiting the Courage of Captain Sully Sullenberger

As members of the sandwich generation, you may have your hands full with the challenges of parents growing older and kids growing up. But that's no reason to neglect what you need.

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K? When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder: How do I access my strengths? What can help me grow? Who will I be then?

There are a lot of people we can look to who have had the courage to reach deep inside and make something happen. Take, for example, Captain Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger, the pilot who landed the passenger jet on the Hudson River. Bravery and humility - often at the heart of fairy tales - are qualities that can inspire all of us to be the best that we can be. And, with the doom and gloom of the economic crisis, we want to feel hopeful again.

Learn to be as prepared as possible ahead of time. Sullenberger was ready. He's a former air force fighter pilot, an expert in safety reliability methods and has 40 years of flying experience. Although you may not need training for an emergency landing, you can become equipped for what lies ahead. If you're making an important presentation at work, setting guidelines for your kidult who can't find a job and is moving back home or talking to your dad about giving up the car keys, learn as much as you can about the issues. Research the subject, write out talking points and get feedback from those whose opinions you value.

This week on the blog we'll be writing short vignettes about people whose names you probably recognize. In their stories, you’ll find practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try on these strategies and see how they can work for you.

If you want to read more about Captain Sullenberger and his remarkable act of courage, sign the email list to the left of this post and download our free ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. And if you would like to stay in touch with him, you can follow Sully on his Facebook page.

The New Normal after Separation

Do you want to know an unexpected finding from the Framingham Heart Study, conducted over six decades? Happiness is contagious and the secret may very well be in the connection. Social relationships correlate positively with happiness. If your friend becomes happy, that increases your probability by 15%.

If you've recently separated from your partner, this can be a lonely time for you. Although your marriage may be over, it's important that your children feel secure and know that you'll be there for them. It may help if you let family and friends support you. And you'll feel more connected if you tell them how grateful you are that they're in your life.

Take one step at a time. You can do it, as you have with other turning points in your life. The strength that has guided you in the past will ultimately surface and help you through this process. Even in the midst of confusion, begin by putting one foot slowly in front of the other. Don't try to rush anything.

Following the breakup of the family, your children may feel more vulnerable. If the separation is recent, perhaps they still hope that you will reconcile. Or if the reality of the situation is just setting in, they could blame you and feel frustrated or angry. Be patient and available to listen carefully to their reactions to the family changes. Consider seeing a family therapist as they sort it all out.

All week we'll be sharing practical tips to help you reconnect after separation. Want to get going right now? Sign our email list to the left of this post and download the free ebook about courage and how to take the first steps toward a new goal.

The Sandwich Generation: 2010 Relationship Resolutions

For the past couple of weeks, we've been blogging about Sandwiched Boomers and the different aspects of the New Year's resolutions they make. So now that we're well into January, how are you doing? You know, setting goals in the love department are just as important as the ones about losing weight or getting your finances in shape. So even though you may already be working toward other goals, don't put your relationship on the back burner.

Instead of accentuating the positives, the advice from couples' research often focuses on minimizing the negatives - don't nag, don't withhold sex, don't overreact, don't try to control. But why not focus your resolutions on the do's instead of don'ts? Positive emotions can open you up to new possibilities.

If you want to actively enrich your love relationship, log on all week - we'll be sharing practical tips on how to go about it. And click on the title above to get started - it will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and an article about how Baby Boomers can re-examine their relationships.

The Empty Nest: A Chance to Reinvent Yourself

One reader sums it up: "I am a full believer that the better way to avoid the problems of empty nest is balance. Your entire life cannot be the kids. Throughout the child rearing days a portion of your time and mind should go to continuing to build the relationship with your spouse. Another important portion of your time and mind should go to nurturing yourself. Doing what you love to do. When the kids are gone you have more time to dedicate to both of these. There is always a sense of loss, but there is something there to fill the void."

Practice letting go. Try to visualize one door closing and another door opening. Relax into feeling more calm and carefree. Let yourself get excited by the possibility of exploring what you want to do with the free time that is now available to you.

Decide to write regularly in a journal. Think about what's happening in your life right now and you'll see that there's no right or wrong way to feel. Accept that you, too, are on a more independent path now. By identifying and dealing with what is going on for you emotionally, you'll learn to take greater control over this process of change.
Recognize that you now have full license to put energy into reinventing yourself. The lid has been lifted off the box – embrace new options that you may not have imagined possible. Continue to move away from center stage regarding your kids and move toward your own deferred plans and goals. It's the best time to enjoy the chance to fulfill your dreams.

Some think that putting yourself first is selfish, no matter what the stage of life. But that's not what the experts say. So click on the title of this post for tips on what we call self-fullness. And keep us posted on your progress!

Senator Ted Kennedy's Family: Challenges Ahead

Perhaps Senator Kennedy's life situation was more complicated than yours. And you may not have to live up to that kind of a legacy. But as Sandwiched Boomers, with so many family responsibilities, you have your share of crises and challenges. What follows are practical tips to help you face them.



Realize the importance of reaching out. The emotional support of others when you need encouragement can help you make it through what seems like an impossible situation. Confide in friends and family as you work through the difficulties. A second and objective opinion from a spiritual advisor or therapist can provide you gain insight and direction.

Evaluate the situation without overreacting or putting your head in the sand. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. Yet avoid getting caught up in a pessimistic mindset that can result in higher levels of anxiety and poor decision making. Remain calm and stay focused on what you need to do.

Clicking on the title of this post will take you to HerMentorCenter.com. There you'll find more ideas in an article entitled How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge.