Getting Back on Track

Whether you're actually driving on a curvy road or trying to navigate the twists and turns of life, you don't always get the advance warning sign of a risk ahead.

Do these unforeseen hazards sound familiar? You've just gotten your finances under control when you bite down on an olive pit and break off part of a tooth. How will you fit the cost of a crown into your budget now? Or you've worked hard to make your new exercise routine a habit - but over-doing it, you've torn a muscle that will take months to heal. So now you're back on the couch, trying to regroup. And the diet that you followed so successfully after the holidays was thrown away with the arrival of your weekend guests. Will you be able to get back on track once they leave?

When these kinds of threats materialize, they can put your carefully worked out plans in jeopardy. What can you do to meet these challenges and move ahead? Here are two tips to guide you in turning setbacks into opportunities:

Act as if you are committed. Make a plan outlining the objectives you need to meet in order to accomplish realistic goals. You're more likely to succeed when you are optimistic and enthusiastic about working to bring your aspirations to reality and give yourself reinforcements along the way to motivate you. Draw on your strengths - both personal and spiritual - as you act to break through barriers. Use all the support and resources available to bolster your own efforts.

Have a Plan B ready for flexibility. Your path will not likely be a straight line but you don't have to be defeated by your slip-ups if you've worked out a contingency Plan B ahead of time. Now take the opportunity to brainstorm novel ways of getting to your goal and continue to refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. When your reactions are not set in stone, you can improvise along the way as you discover what works best and then modify your behavior based on the feedback you get.

There may be limits to what you can accomplish but give yourself permission to begin the process without expecting perfection in your results. Especially if you're a sandwiched boomer, faced with the responsibilities of growing children and aging parents, these tips can help develop the resiliency you need to thrive.

With the price of gas going up and up, you may not be doing much driving right now, but when you do, here's to the joy of an open road - without dangerous curves or hidden perils.

Breaking the Inertia and Beginning Your Walks

Now that you've taken the time for some honest self-reflection about your New Year's resolutions, have you identified what's holding you back? Until you recognize what's causing the obstacles, you can't begin to map out a plan to implement your walking program. Here are some things to consider:

Photo courtesy of graur codrin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you actually committed to a walking plan? Your family and friends can provide a sounding board as well as the motivation to begin and stay with your stated objectives. Putting your goals in black and white gives them credibility and helps you take yourself more seriously. Decide on an activity that you enjoy and will stick with - walking outside with friends, using a treadmill at the gym or enjoying the quiet of a walk on your own.

Did you set realistic expectations with goals you can accomplish? If not, you may need to scrap your original list and come up with less grandiose aspirations. If your original plan of 30 minutes of brisk walking each day seems like too much for now, plan to break it up into two or even three segments. Don't beat yourself up for falling short of promises you made that were out of reach. Who hasn't made mistakes? Take it one day at a time as you revise and come up with a Plan B that works for you.

How can you break through your inertia and get started? It's always easier to keep doing the same things than to make a U-turn. You'll need to draw on your strengths, resources and what worked for you before. Use these as you face the challenges of creating a new walking regimen. You can set up reinforcements to give you that extra push out the door. Once you've gotten used to your new pattern, it will be easier to continue.

What about resetting your priorities? You can reactivate your sense of control by looking hard at your list of priorities and making changes in them. Do you really need to spend that extra time during lunch break surfing the net or play video games after dinner? Instead create new opportunities for yourself - use that time to begin your walks, short as they may be at first.

There may be limits to what you can accomplish in your 2012 New Year's Resolutions, but know you can go one step at a time. Make a commitment to cut through the inertia, set a realistic goal - without expecting perfection in your results - and make it a priority to get out that door.

Becoming Your Own Expert

Are you tired of hearing the same ole, same ole…the "experts" telling you what to do? Everywhere you look this time of year, you can find someone waxing on about what kind of New Year's resolutions to set for yourself and how to achieve them. But really, don't you know yourself better than anyone else does? So how about treating yourself as the expert for a change and listen to your own voice.

You don't need to have anyone lecture you that adding a walking routine to your schedule will help you feel better, physically and emotionally, in 2012. You already have that awareness - but is that enough to get you out the door?


Photo by L.E. Erickson - Flickr.com

You could remind yourself that research has shown walking helps in weight control as well as in reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease. Or that it works to increase your brain flexibility and decrease memory loss. Or even that brisk walking can provide a cushion against symptoms of depression.

But you know all of that. You understand that walking is the most uncomplicated exercise, the easiest to implement and one that is so flexible that you can tailor it around your own schedule. You can begin at any age or level and increase the speed and length during the year. And you can add in the benefits of social companionship or an appreciation of nature if you like.

So what's holding you back? Think about it. It could be your physical condition and a fear of hurting yourself. But more likely it's about inertia or setting your priorities. If you haven't made a public commitment to change, it's less likely that you'll actually go ahead with the new behaviors you want to implement. Identify what your own personal obstacles are and visit our blog again on Wednesday for some suggestions to help you ramp up the volume of your inner voice so you can make the changes you've set for yourself in 2012.

Thinking About Your New Year's Resolutions

Now that you've made the exchanges in your Christmas or Chanukah gifts, do you think it's time to begin thinking about the changes you want to make in yourself this coming New Year?

You may have your own unique list of improvements you want to make - stop smoking, lose some extra pounds, exercise more, live a healthier lifestyle, spend quality time with family and friends. No matter what makes up your set of New Year's Resolutions, change is never easy. If you're wondering what can help you take that first step, here are some ideas to keep in mind as you get started:

Photo courtesy of husin.sani - Flickr.com

Be open to trying something new. Let your creativity flourish as you open yourself up to new possibilities. You can strive for something that may have eluded your grasp in the past. Search for a different way to get to where you want to be.

Keep your resolutions realistic. When you honestly believe that you can attain your target, you'll work harder to move in that direction. Setting overly ambitious, idealistic targets that you're unlikely to reach can stop you cold even before you begin.

Break your goals down into smaller parts that you can complete, one at a time. Baby steps taken one after another will transport you a long distance. You'll feel freer to continue knowing that each objective is within your reach.

Visualize yourself accomplishing each objective you set. Athletes are more successful after envisioning themselves playing well. When you create a picture in your mind of going through each step you need to succeed, you'll find that the process is easier to finish.

As you likely know, making the commitment to change is only the first part of actually achieving your goals. It can be difficult to stay on track and backsliding often becomes an issue. But you don't have to do it alone. Visit our blog often in 2012 for practical tips to help you stay motivated and chart your progress as you move forward toward accomplishing your New Year's resolutions. When you reach your target, you'll recognize that all your hard work was well worth it.

Our very best to you for a safe and happy, healthy New Year as we welcome in 2012.

Making Changes on Days of Celebration

With Tax Day over, this week is a time for family celebrations - Passover for some, Easter for others, and Earth Day for everyone. Earth Day is celebrated this Friday, April 22, as a means of teaching about and appreciating the Earth's environment.

In the wake of these tornadoes, seismic activities, tsunamis and radiation leaks this spring, we all are struck by the realization that changes in the Earth can come in many ways. They can be gradual or sudden and violent. They can come from the forces of nature or from the actions of human beings. They can be unexpected and out of our control or planned and anticipated. In either case, the havoc they reap can affect millions. The effects of the tsunami in Japan have impacted the economy and may continue to do so for weeks to come.

So how then do we come to terms with the tremendous power of Mother Nature? Given the current discussions about whether or not the globe is actually warming - and, if so, whether it's due to man or the earth itself - you may be left feeling confused and overwhelmed. On Earth Day, you can acknowledge the power of nature and still recognize your role in the process.

And in your personal life, you can use these same techniques. Focus on what you can control in your life and what you can accomplish, not what you can't. While you often can't influence circumstances, you can control how you handle them. Clearly define your goals or aspirations and keep focused on them. Letting go of negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations can free you up to make something positive come out of a negative situation.

In the heat of the moment, enthusiasm for making a change - protecting the earth, creating better family relationships, making the world a better place, loosing those stubborn extra pounds - can be great. But what happens the next day? How can you build on your decision to improve? How do you actually vary your routine and transform yourself? Inspiration is not enough - now you need to implement your choice in a clear and definite way. Here are 8 tips on how to go about it:

Acknowledge your ability to change. Recognize that there may be limits to what you can accomplish but that you can take it one baby step at a time. Give yourself permission to begin the process by setting a realistic goal and without expecting perfection in your results.

Write out specific goals for yourself and break them down into smaller, more manageable short-term objectives. Set up a timeline for tackling each task. The more you formulate your plans and establish concrete steps, the greater the likelihood that you will follow up on them.

List your personal resources and inner strengths - they will help you attain your objectives and eventually achieve your goals. Draw on them as you have when you made other changes in your life.

Make a public commitment to the change you are pursuing. This will help you take yourself and your decision seriously and increase your motivation to continue the process even when you face barriers along the way.

Maintain your energy by rewarding yourself for each objective you accomplish even as you keep your focus on the future goals you are striving toward. Positive reinforcement will keep you motivated to continue your process of change.

Draw on the support of family and friends. They want you to succeed and will give you the help you need. Join with others who have similar goals - having someone share your journey makes the whole process more enjoyable.

Don't beat yourself up when you backslide. Change can be overwhelming and you need to be patient with yourself. Refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. Have a Plan B ready and continue to improvise as you discover what works best for you.

Enjoy the satisfaction and feelings of power that come from making real changes. You've earned it! And you can use your new skill set to achieve success in other areas of your life as well. If you're a Sandwiched Boomer, resolve to use these tips to take better care of yourself.

Focus on Your Assets

With the New Year approaching, do you think it's too late to start making lists and outlining dramatic changes for yourself? Novelist Mary Anne Evans (AKA George Eliot) wisely advised, It is never too late to be what you might have been. So decide what you want to be and then begin the process to make it happen in 2011.

And just in case you've had trouble in the past taking the first step toward change, our article Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia, available on our website, Her Mentor Center, gives you suggestions for overcoming these hurdles.

Here are some more practical tips to help you focus on the positive qualities you possess and how you can apply them:

Engage in an active process of getting to know your true self and what you want to do. Think about what you would see if you held up a mirror to your inner self. What nurtures your creative thinking? What stimulates your curiosity? What do you really value and care about? What are your dreams and passions? When you can honestly answer these questions for yourself, you can begin to identify what is your life purpose. Only then can you go about achieving it.

How would you like to share your "assets" with others? Your expertise can be directed to giving back to those in need, to the next generation, to the community, country, world. Begin to practice small acts of kindness – let a harried mother go ahead of you in the grocery line, give up the parking space to an elderly gentleman, smile at the sales clerk who looks like she’s having a bad day. At this stressful holiday time, your thoughtfulness and consideration can mean even more to those around you.

Just as you would calculate liabilities as well as assets when determining your financial net worth, you can look at the areas that you would like to enhance in your personal life. This provides a focus for your actions toward self-improvement. Let 2011 become the beginning of changes that you have been planning to make but never quite began before.

After you identify your strengths and the direction you want to take, start to develop a concrete plan of action you can follow. Establish short-term objectives that will move you, step by step, toward the long-term goals you have set for yourself. Whether you're dealing with growing children, aging parents or your own self-discovery, create your personal vision for 2011 using your newly completed asset inventory.

For more insight and tips about achieving the goals you set for yourself in 2011 check out our article, 8 Strategies to Turn Your New Year's Resolutions into Reality.

And if you want to get a running start on dealing with the pressures of the weak economy in 2011, you can purchase our ebook, TAKING CONTROL OF STRESS IN A FINANCIAL STORM: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success.

Develop Your Personal Health Plan

The Association of American Medical Colleges reported last week that the shortage of physicians is expected to worsen due to the U.S. healthcare reform plan that became law last spring. Their Center for Workforce Studies released a projection that shortages will be 50% worse than estimated earlier. Rather than lacking 39,600 doctors by 2015, the United States will actually be short 63,000 physicians, given the extra patients entering the system.

With fewer doctors available, you will need to make some changes in the way you take care of yourself. Now is the time to develop your own personal health plan to help deal with the challenges you face everyday in nourishing yourself and your family-in-flux. All this week you'll find links here to our YouTube videos giving you suggestions for improving your coping skills and your health - mental and physical. Try them out and let us know what works for you as you create your own care plan.

No matter what challenges you face in your career and at home with children growing up and parents growing older, it's not selfish to set aside time for a taste of healthy self-fullness. Check out our short, YouTube video, Your Personal Health Plan Begins with a Change, to help you cope with the challenges you are facing. In this video, you'll learn the importance of releasing negativity, a common response, and replacing it with a positive attitude. Developing resiliency and expressing gratitude can be powerful tools.

With the economy continuing to stall and family responsibilities growing, your stress levels may be climbing, especially if you are a Sandwiched Boomer. Vow to put your feet up and think about yourself for once. What brings you happiness? What relieves the stress you face every day? What will bring balance to your life? A second YouTube video segment gives you some tips on how Your Personal Health Plan Reduces Your Stress. In this video, you'll find tips for taking time for yourself and creating personal stress relievers.

It's always hard to get started in making a change, even one that will help you take better care of yourself. If you want to give yourself a jump-start, click here to read Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia which you can find on our website, Her Mentor Center.

Earth Day Plus One - Now What?

Earth Day was yesterday. So what do we call today?

In the heat of the moment, enthusiasm for making a change - protecting the earth, creating better family relationships, making the world a better place, loosing those stubborn extra pounds - can be great. But what happens the next day? How can you build on your decision to improve? How do you actually vary your routine and transform yourself? Inspiration is not enough - now you need to implement your choice in a clear and definite way. Here are 8 tips on how to go about it:

Acknowledge your ability to change. Recognize that there may be limits to what you can accomplish but that you can take it one baby step at a time. Give yourself permission to begin the process by setting a realistic goal and without expecting perfection in your results.

Write out specific goals for yourself and break them down into smaller, more manageable short-term objectives. Set up a timeline for tackling each task. The more you formulate your plans and establish concrete steps, the greater the likelihood that you will follow up on them.

List your personal resources and inner strengths - they will help you attain your objectives and eventually achieve your goals. Draw on them as you have when you made other changes in your life.

Make a public commitment to the change you are pursuing. This will help you take yourself and your decision seriously and increase your motivation to continue the process even when you face barriers along the way.

Maintain your energy by rewarding yourself for each objective you accomplish even as you keep your focus on the future goals you are striving toward. Positive reinforcement will keep you motivated to continue your process of change.

Draw on the support of family and friends. They want you to succeed and will give you the help you need. Join with others who have similar goals - having someone share your journey makes the whole process more enjoyable.

Don't beat yourself up when you backslide. Change can be overwhelming and you need to be patient with yourself. Refine your strategies as you learn from your mistakes. Have a Plan B ready and continue to improvise as you discover what works best for you.

Enjoy the satisfaction and feelings of power that come from making real changes. You've earned it! And you can use your new skill set to achieve success in other areas of your life as well. If you're a Sandwiched Boomer, resolve to use these tips to take better care of yourself.

Want more tips for making lasting changes? Sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. Look to the left of this post to subscribe - and begin a new day.

Listing Your Goals

After you identify your strengths and the direction you want to take, begin to develop a concrete plan of action you can follow. Establish short-term objectives that will move you, step by step, toward the long-term goals you have set for yourself. Discover and create your personal vision for 2010 using your newly completed asset inventory.

Think it is too late to start making lists and dramatic changes? Mary Anne Evans was a novelist in 19th century England but believed she need to take a male pen name to have her works taken seriously. Taking the nom de plume George Eliot, she published successful novels such as Middlemarch and Silas Mariner, among others. She wisely advised, "It is never too late to be what you might have been." So decide what you want to be and then make it happen. For more insight and tips about achieving the goals you set for yourself, click on the post title above. It connects you with our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, 8 Strategies to Turn Your New Year's Resolutions into Reality.

Coping with Menopausal Symptoms

You've likely tried many techniques to deal with the annoying symptoms of perimenopause. Here are some that many Sandwiched Boomers find work for them. Try them, if you haven't already, and see if they work for you.

If hot flashes and night sweats plague you, join the gang. You can: dress in layers, have a personal fan handy to use whenever you need, sleep in a cool room at night, avoid alcohol, spicy foods and others that trigger a hot flash.

Many women in perimenopause just can't get a good night's sleep. If you have a hard time falling asleep or getting back to sleep when your body awakens you, try to create a comfortable bedtime routine and save your bed for intimacy and sleep. It may also help to move your physical exercise to earlier in the day.

Do you find yourself gaining weight - and in all the wrong places? Here the tips are the same ones you've heard all your life: start an eating program that you can maintain, drink lots of water - especially a half-hour before your next meal - find healthful food substitutes. Begin to keep a food diary, noting what, when and where you eat and what you were thinking and feeling at the time. This will help you determine your negative triggers so you can plan to avoid them. Resist buying sweets - if you don't have them handy, you won't have the temptation to grab a quick fix.

Even if you've been the queen of multitasking before you may notice that now you just can't concentrate and focus as well. If so, you may want to simplify your environment and concentrate on only one thing at a time. Make a list of things you want to do and prioritize them. Schedule extra time to go over new information so that you can incorporate it. Identify your greatest stressors and work on techniques to reduce them. To keep your mind sharp, explore and learn about new things, play word games and do crossword puzzles.

When your libido seems to disappear, you and your partner can make some changes. If your sexual desire has decreased, examine your relationship with your significant other and look at life situations that may be affecting your sexuality. You and your partner can focus on creating other kinds of intimacy in your relationship as you rekindle your joint affection, closeness and romance. Explore and enjoy your sensuality - be patient and take small steps. Talk to your doctor about remedies for vaginal dryness.

If all the hormonal, physical and psychological changes you have been going through have led you to feel depressed and anxious, you need to address your emotions. Look for a support group in which to share your thoughts and feelings. Keep a journal to express your feelings and gain some insight. Make exercise a part of your daily routine and utilize stress reduction techniques, such as deep breathing, guided imagery, and meditation. Focus on the positives in your life and acknowledge what you are grateful for. It may help to give of yourself and do something for someone else. Certainly, if your emotional symptoms don't abate, consult a mental health professional.

Life is full of changes - menopause is just one of them. Look at other changes in you life. Just as you have coped before, you will be able to cope now. Recognize your strengths and build on them. Focus on what has worked for you in the past and trust that you will find options that will help you now. Be patient and recognize that working through menopause is an ongoing process that takes time. This is a new chapter in your life. You can write it the way you want!

If one of the changes you have made entails becoming a mother-in-law, be sure to tune in tomorrow when we host a virtual book tour with Sally Shields - author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules. And come with your questions for Sally. She'll be happy to answer them.

Enjoying Your Boomerang Kids

When your adult child boomerangs back home, it can be a win-win situation for all of you, rather than a cause for alarm. If you follow our tips, your new arrangement opens up the opportunity to see each other through fresh eyes. You can let go of the old hurts and old memories of conflicts between you. Experience first hand how your offspring have matured and let them see you as more than just parents.



One mother recounted how the richness of her relationship with her son and daughter-in-law developed and grew during the year the kids moved in with her and her husband. "We all agreed we wouldn't make any assumptions about spending more time together. They didn't want to be asked if they were coming home for dinner and I didn't want to include them in my dinner preparations every night. With their work schedule and ours being so different, we often didn't see each other for days. But when we did, it was delightful to be with them. On weekends, my daughter-in-law likes to cook and sometimes we hung out together in the kitchen - one day we baked and iced dozens of cupcakes, just for fun. And my son even kissed me good-bye when he left for work, if I was around. Now that they are back on their own, I miss those days of camaraderie. During the year, I learned to treat them as the adults they had become and they learned to look at me as a real person, not just a mother. It was a great experience for all of us."

How about you? What have been your experiences when a child boomerangs back, either alone or with his/her family? What did you do to make the situation work better for everyone?

What other challenges have you been dealing with? Click on the title of the post to take you to an interactive site on HerMentorCenter.com, "About You." Here you can express yourself about concerns you may have at this time of life transitions and what coping skills are most helpful to you in dealing with them.

Refreshing the Relationship with Your Boomerang Kids

Robert Frost wasn't thinking about boomerang kids when he wrote in his 1915 poem, Death of the Hired Man, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." But he sure might have been.

In this economy, adult children are moving back home in record numbers - for many different reasons. Some are doing frugal planning ahead of the curve. They want to put aside money to buy a house or other large purchase and arrange to put the money they save on rent into a special account. With unemployment hovering around 10% in many areas, others may find that they need to move back home after a job loss. Still other adult children have faced the credit crunch, foreclosure and loss of their own home, causing them to move back to their family home because they have no other place to live. Some young adults are forced to declare bankruptcy and move back home until they can get a handle on their finances and build up credit again.



While the reasons for moving back home may be different, the means of making the situation work for everyone are variations on the same themes - familiar ones to Sandwiched Boomers. And what are those themes? The recognition of change and the need for respect for the rights and autonomy of everyone involved.

After spending years without the day-to-day responsibilities of mothering, you probably don't want to pick up your old role where you left it. And your adult children likely do not want to be mothered in a childish way - they would be smothered by it. So you can each begin the process of refreshing your relationship with the understanding that things will not be as they were in years past. Everyone is free to change and be creative with fresh eyes and design a new relationship, recognizing you can enjoy the maturity that each of you has gained.

When you make respect your mantra, you all have the opportunity to take each other's opinions and needs into consideration. It's not always easy. The social values of young and older adults may be vastly different. In fact, The Pew Research Center recently reported their findings that the generation gap in the United States is the biggest it has been in the past 40 years. To help you get started with your new perspective, tomorrow you'll find specific techniques to implement with your boomerang offspring as you set the stage for rich and rewarding relationships with them.

And click on the title above for more tips on how to help your boomerang children regain their independence. You'll find helpful advice on HerMentorCenter.com, in our article, "How to Launch Your Boomerang Kidult."

Creating Your Own Success

Now that you have decided that you are ready to make a change, planning how to achieve your New Year's resolutions is crucial. Acknowledge your role in the process and focus on the strategies that work for you. As you use these tips to turn your goals into reality, enjoy the satisfaction that comes from your success in 2009.

When you click on the title above, it will take you to the Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women, an article in the Nourishing Relationships section of our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. Give yourself permission to take better care of yourself - it will give you the balance you need to make your New Year's resolutions a reality.

The comment by one of our readers about The Gratitude Project, got me thinking. Laneris said, "To my mind appreciation and saying thank you is of high priority in a relationship. You should try show it to people not for the next 10 days but for all your life."

It started me wondering, Why is is so difficult to say thank you? Why do we need to be reminded to be appreciative for a mere 10 days of the year? As Laneris noted, of course it would be relevant to always express your thanks to someone with whom you share something as meaningful as a relationship. It would seem that your good feelings about that person would spill over into your consciousness and make it more likely for you to notice and acknowledge positive behaviors by him or her. Yet the truth is that we often fail to recognize what our significant others do for us. Let's look at some reasons why:

We take things for granted.Humans instinctively pay more attention to threats to their safety than they do to situations of ease and security. We are less likely to notice a supportive behavior so positive acts are often ignored.

We are often focused on ourselves. Galileo may have proved that the earth revolved around the sun but most of us secretly believe that the world itself revolves around us. It is sometimes hard to pull out of that orbit and become aware of the capabilities and needs of other's around us.

We view the giving of thanks as a zero sum game.It may seem that when you are thanking your partner for the generous way he or she treats you, they are less likely to notice what they could appreciate in your behavior. In truth, the expression of gratitude leads to positive effects for both the giver and the receiver.

Any change in behavior is difficult. Building life-long habits takes conscious repetitions. It may be hard to make the commitment to building this new skill, but it is well worth the energy it takes.

Let us hear from you about your reactions to expressing your thanks. Tune in tomorrow for some tips about bringing gratitude into your life. And check out The Gratitude Project at www.thismarriagething.com yourself.

Now that the election process is complete, president elect Obama and Sandwiched Boomers are still faced with the enormity of the tasks that lie ahead - a deep financial crisis, two wars, terrorism and an environment in peril. Parents continue to ponder, how will I pay the mortgage and grocery bills, manage my kids’ college tuition and health insurance?

In his speech Tuesday night, Obama acknowledged that 'the climb will be steep' - but as a people together we will get there. He made encouraging statements: I'll listen to you, especially when we disagree. Victory is only the chance we have to make a change. Now the real work begins – with a new spirit of service, patriotism and sacrifice.

This is the time to manage our expectations. And wait, at this history-making moment, to find answers to many questions: Will there be a seismic shift in American politics? Is this when we will put the dark stain of racism behind us? Will Obama deliver on his promises and reach across party lines? Can this be the election that inspires a generation of public service?

Last night, 'Yes we can' became 'Yes we did' as Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States. This is the triumph of the American dream, Sandwiched Boomers. It's is what other countries have admired about our country, as a place where all things are possible. And now it's safe to say to our children and grandchildren, that - with hard work - you really can be anything you want.

John McCain made a gracious concession speech, urging the Republican party to get behind this transformational event and find ways to come together. And Barack Obama made a commitment to heal the divide: "For those whose vote I didn't win tonight, I hear your voices, I need your help, I'll be your president too."

This was the election over hope and fear. Now the question is how realistic are the expectations and will they be met? Obama faces daunting challenges and seems to recognize the gravity and magnitude of the work that lies ahead. He said last night that it won't happen in the first year, perhaps nor in the first term.

What do you think? Will the country maintain it's enthusiasm and go from cynical, fearful and doubtful toward the promise of a better day?

The continued market turbulence - another drop of over 700 points yesterday - has hit Sandwiched Boomers hard, especially those nearing retirement. Estimates by the Congressional Budget Office are that retirement plans have fallen by over 20% in value, raising anxiety levels and increasing feelings of vulnerability.

As a Sandwiched Boomer herself, Kate is worried about her aging parents and how she will care for them just as she is taking on new responsibilities helping to care for her granddaughter.

"Until a few weeks ago, I could hold it all together. But now it seems like everything is changing so fast. I'm not sure I can do it all. Change in general, getting older is really getting to me now - not so much health concerns as the reality of life moving on, children grown and not needing me as before and so on. It's just a strange stage for me, not so much bad, just different as I find my new place, my new roles as mom in law, grandma, and almost empty nester. To help me get through each day, I depend on prayer and my relationship with the Lord, a few supportive friends, a great husband."

Gwen is an empty nester and having a hard time coping alone with her recent health issues as she worries about how her finances will hold up.

"My biggest hardship is being alone and away from my children. I've been single now for almost 10 years but it hasn't gotten any better since I don't make friends easily. I wish I could, but that's just who I am. I love my job, but when I come home at night, it's a lonely place. I don't want to be a pest to my kids but they're my only lifelines."

Sandwiched Boomers have a lot on their plates - caring for growing children and aging parents - and stress builds up rapidly, especially during these times of doubt and insecurity.

Although you cannot necessarily change what happens to you, you can change how you handle it. Start by freeing yourself from negative feelings. Face uncertainty with a positive attitude or reframe a pessimistic reaction into a more neutral or optimistic one. By learning more about constructive responses to difficult situations, you will have access to a wider variety of resources and strategies.

Stay in the moment. Don't beat yourself up and feel bad about the mistakes you've made. Keep in mind that you are human and no one is perfect. Being worried about the past or fearful about the future can keep you stuck. Rather than ruminating, feeling frustrated or discouraged and giving up, why not try something different? You deserve a second chance.

Ending his speech to the American people with thundering applause as he promised, "I fight for you!" John McCain accepted his party's nomination to become President of the United States. Positioning himself as a fighter, a reformer and a patriot, he told his personal story of dedication to country and his political story of pragmatic reaching across party lines to accomplish national goals. And he challenged the American people to "fight for what's right for our country…the ideals and character of a free people."

Portraying himself as an agent for change in Washington and a maverick not an insider in the beltway, McCain demonstrated his responsiveness to the people. "I don't work for a party. I don't work for a special interest. I don't work for myself. I work for you." He talked about creating energy independence, improving schools, lowering taxes and reducing big government. To achieve these, McCain said, "I will reach out my hand to anyone to help me get this country moving again. My friends, I have that record and the scars to prove it... I’m not in the habit of breaking promises to my country. And when we tell you we’re going to change Washington, and stop leaving our country’s problems for some unluckier generation to fix, you can count on it.”

Earlier in the evening his wife, Cindy McCain, came onstage with their seven children and spoke about their family and her charitable and philanthropic efforts here and overseas. Reaffirming the theme of trust and straight talk, Cindy said "It's going to take someone of unusual strength and character - someone exactly like my husband - to lead us through the reefs and currents that lie ahead. I know John. You can trust his hand at the wheel."

Now that both parties have concluded their conventions, it's off to the races. Let's hope that the Presidential and Vice-Presidential debates give us all facts to digest and plans to consider as we move toward making the important decision about whom to vote for in the historic election in November.

The Democratic convention seems to be heating up, as promised. Last night, Bill Clinton erased his harshest critique of Barack Obama - that he wasn't ready for the job - by comparing Obama's age and experience to himself as a candidate 16 years ago.

Clinton's shower of praise for Obama was carried forward by Senator Joe Biden, who proceeded to further establish the candidate's credentials. Talking about the American dream slipping away, he touched on several Sandwich Generation issues - should mom move in now that dad is gone? what are the consequences of cutting health care benefits at work? with no raise this year, how are we going to afford to send the kids to college?

In referencing John McCain, Biden said that what this country needs is a wise leader not a good soldier - and that McCain's ideas represent more of the same, not change. He stated that we cannot afford another four years of this abysmal failure. Biden ended his speech with a message of hope: in honor of our parents and for the future of our children and grandchildren, let's get back up together.

Obama made a surprise appearance at his own party. And the crowd went wild when he said how proud he is to have the Biden family - joining them on stage were Joe's mom, wife, children, grandchildren and other family members - with him to take America back. Surrounded by all those loved ones, I'd call that a Sandwiched Boomer moment.