Recover from Financial Panic by Investing in Yourself

The financial crisis has affected many people and involved losses on many levels –jobs, income, money in the stock market, a certain comfort level, retirement funds, a sense of security, dreams for the future. And, inevitably, these feelings of loss are accompanied by a period of grieving. Ever since Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross first identified the stages of mourning in her seminal book, “On Death and Dying,” bards, mental health experts and pundits have waxed philosophical about this process.

These stages are universal and can relate to any catastrophic personal loss. Kübler-Ross maintained that the steps do not necessarily come in any particular order, nor are all of them necessarily experienced by everyone. If you or your loved ones have lost money, trust or confidence, evaluate where you are in this process by the stages and comments below:

• Denial – “Others may be worried about money issues but this can’t be happening to me.”
• Anger – “Why me? I haven’t done anything to deserve this financial mess.”
• Bargaining – “I’ll do anything if you just help me secure my retirement account.”
• Depression – “I’m so discouraged, what’s the point in even trying to save?”
• Acceptance – “These problems are serious, so I might as well prepare for the long haul.”

Dr. Kubler-Ross describes the final stage of acceptance as generating the energy to reinvest in new objects. As you begin to recover from the economic upheaval, don’t you think you will be best served by investing in your own wellbeing?

Tune in all week as we give you some tips for taking care of yourself in this financial crisis. And to help you get started, click on the title above to take you to our article, Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia.

Lost in the headlines about the historic presidential election and the stock market meltdown is the fact that October is the month dedicated to becoming aware of and controlling domestic violence. The irony is that the financial shock waves that have been rocketing throughout the world are likely to increase the prevalence of abuse. The economic turmoil will undoubtedly lead to greater fears, pressure and anxiety within families facing financial collapse - and, in many cases, that stress will lead to battering. Sandwiched Boomers, already dealing with the enormous strains of caring for growing children and aging parents, may be especially vulnerable.

The Centers for Disease Control believes that 10% of the population is affected by domestic abuse, although it is estimated that only one-third of these cases are actually reported. It is the most common cause of injury for women ages 15 to 44 who suffer physical as well as emotional injury, such as depression, anxiety and social isolation. If you, or someone you know, are the victim of domestic abuse, this may be the time to begin the long process of extricating yourself.

Why do women remain in abusive relationships? Frequently, the reason is fear - they have been brainwashed by the perpetrator - convinced that they are helpless and cannot cope alone. Or they're afraid that the abusive partner will harm them or their children if they attempt to leave. Another justification is the victims' incorrect belief that the responsibility is theirs, that they have caused the abuse or that it is up to them to stay in order to keep the family together. Finally, because of a variety of psychological issues and complicated family dynamics, the defense mechanism of denial can remain strong. Domestic abuse victims often refuse to see themselves as battered and don't accept the fact that the perpetrator will continue the abusive behavior.

Stay in touch this week as we give you some options to help you take better care of yourself. And let us hear from you if you have dealt with this personal crisis before.

The continued market turbulence - another drop of over 700 points yesterday - has hit Sandwiched Boomers hard, especially those nearing retirement. Estimates by the Congressional Budget Office are that retirement plans have fallen by over 20% in value, raising anxiety levels and increasing feelings of vulnerability.

As a Sandwiched Boomer herself, Kate is worried about her aging parents and how she will care for them just as she is taking on new responsibilities helping to care for her granddaughter.

"Until a few weeks ago, I could hold it all together. But now it seems like everything is changing so fast. I'm not sure I can do it all. Change in general, getting older is really getting to me now - not so much health concerns as the reality of life moving on, children grown and not needing me as before and so on. It's just a strange stage for me, not so much bad, just different as I find my new place, my new roles as mom in law, grandma, and almost empty nester. To help me get through each day, I depend on prayer and my relationship with the Lord, a few supportive friends, a great husband."

Gwen is an empty nester and having a hard time coping alone with her recent health issues as she worries about how her finances will hold up.

"My biggest hardship is being alone and away from my children. I've been single now for almost 10 years but it hasn't gotten any better since I don't make friends easily. I wish I could, but that's just who I am. I love my job, but when I come home at night, it's a lonely place. I don't want to be a pest to my kids but they're my only lifelines."

The market meltdown and mini-boomerang have left investors feeling insecure, not knowing what to expect next. Without a financial safety net, Sandwiched Boomers fear they face a turbulent future when crises arise. Will a divorce threaten your economic stability as well as your marital state? Can a serious illness cause more than physical pain as it limits your ability to work? These are the questions on our readers' minds.

Teri is concerned about the triple whammy to her security: illness, divorce, and financial vulnerability. She is feeling anxious yet is still able to draw upon her strengths as she tries to cope with her situation.

"I have chronic Lyme disease and have not been able to work for 10 years. My husband wants a divorce, and without the medical insurance from his job, I am "screwed." I can't afford rent or house payments let alone cobra coverage. What happens with alimony and health care in a divorce where the one being left behind is chronically ill? I am a fighter - I never give up. I try to focus on the moment, what I can do - not what I can't do - and I keep looking for a way to overcome hardships. I work to come up with creative solutions. I try to stay as healthy and busy as possible and get at least 8 hours of sleep.

Penny is already divorced and living with the financial collapse that caused for her. As she continues to put one foot in front of the other, she worries about what the future may bring.

"I've been divorced for about 5 years now, but I still don't feel "settled." I went from being a stay at home mom to having no income, no home, no medical insurance...nothing! I am a live-in nurse right now, which provides room and board, but at age 50, I know the time will come when I won't physically be able to do the work I do - or the condition of the woman I care for will become so bad that I won't be able to do all that she needs. I have no retirement or financial safety net. I save all I can, and on the weekends that my 2 teens aren't at my house, I clean other houses and put that pay into my savings. I really try not to get too crazy about my life or my future, I pray about it and just keep moving forward." 



In these shaky stock market days, many Sandwiched Boomers are facing additional difficulties as 401K's decline and retirement benefits melt away. The pundits tell us to keep our emotions out of the decision-making process, but that is not easy.

Your thoughts are mental products although they don't necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. Some people can't help but operate emotionally. Others are more able to manage their emotions and function as if everything is fine.

Born to a single mother with serious financial problems, Debra often struggled with her feelings growing up. Now a married Sandwiched Boomer, with a lot of life experience under her belt, a family of her own, and more responsibility for her mom, she's dealing better with her emotions:

"I have to work at being more optimistic and worrying less. I no longer dwell so much on the negatives, and looking at things from a more positive perspective is not as hard as I thought it would be." Just like Debra, you can learn how to reframe your thoughts and take better care of your emotional self. Tune in tomorrow to learn some tips to beat the blues.