Have Some ‘Catch-up’ with Your Sandwich Generation

July is Sandwich Generation month. According to a 2011 report from the Pew Research center, 30 million Americans are unpaid care-givers for their aging parents. And many of them are still raising children or supporting a boomerang kid.

Photo courtesy of social media arts - flickr.com

If you’re a member of the Sandwich Generation, you know that there's a lot to chew on. When your secretary says there’s a nurse on the line, do you wonder if it’s the school or the cardiac care unit? It can be a struggle when you’re worried about your children, your folks, and how you're going to pay for it all.

This month, when we honor those sandwiched between growing kids and parents in decline, it’s the perfect time to play catch-up with yourself. You can create new scripts instead of resorting to old thought patterns that bring you down. Here are 7 ideas that can help change your perspective and your quality of life:

Attend to your needs. Let frustration, exhaustion, or guilt wash over you but try not to give in to them. As you assume greater responsibility for your parents, make nurturing yourself a priority. If you’re feeling centered when your teens are pushing the limits, you’re better able to meet the challenges. You deserve to take better care of your emotional self.

Release emotions. If you have pent up feelings about particular family members, writing can be cathartic. It helps you regulate negative emotions and savor positive ones. Let go of judgment and you'll open up to a deeper, more expressive experience. Read between the lines of your journal and trust what you discover - ways to resolve conflict, to gain closure, to find inner strength.

Seek solitude. Set limits by saying 'no' to others and 'yes' to yourself. A physical place with little opportunity for distraction will free up your thoughts. Try not to worry about mistakes from the past or what the future will bring. Carve out quiet time each day and discover what brings you peace of mind.

We want to hear from you - tell us about your greatest challenges and how you're managing them. And please log on again on Wednesday for more practical tips about nourishing your family without staving yourself.

Finding Peace of Mind

Want to experience a sacred space in your hectic daily life? If technology now has the upper hand, begin to disconnect and find moments of mental tranquility. What follows are some tips on how to decrease your stress.

Begin to journal. Unplug your electronic devices, pick up a pen and start to write. Putting thoughts out of your mind and onto paper gets rid of the noise in your head. By not censoring yourself, you can tap into your unconscious. Writing is cathartic and allows you to release pent up feelings. It’s a great process to help regulate your negative emotions and savor your positive ones.

Consider new priorities. Get out from behind your computer and open up to more meaningful experiences. Trust what you discover - direct ways to resolve conflict, to feel closer, to express yourself. Build actual relationships and feel a real sense of support and connection. You'll have time to take a walk or have coffee with a friend. Enjoy a face to face meeting or business lunch instead of a webinar. And make a commitment to no texting during family time together.

Embrace change. Stop focusing on status updates of friends and mandate time to reconnect with you. Relax and rejuvenate to increase self awareness and tap into your dreams. Get in touch with what you really care about and value. If you take a much needed vacation, you’ll return with a different perspective and renewed excitement. Think about what’s holding you back from living the life you want and begin to pursue goals that are right for you.

Of course technology is here to stay – what would we do without data access? But you’ll give yourself a priceless gift by developing stress relievers to counteract burnout. And take heart as you embrace the calm of the present moment.

Journaling in the New Year

With this just the first week of 2012, your new year's resolutions may still be fresh in your mind. But as Sandwiched Boomers, caring for aging parents and growing kids, chances are that won’t last. Writing down your goals and intentions in a journal can help clarify them. And checking your list regularly will help you stay motivated. Here are some ideas as you begin to explore the journaling process:

Photo courtesy of eblaser - Flickr.com

Identify your strengths. Create an assets inventory or a list of your accomplishments as a way to appreciate yourself. What are your natural talents? What comes so easily you often don't notice it? And what about the acquired skills you’ve used successfully? Mark this page and, when you're feeling vulnerable, review it.

Make a gratitude list. This can be a reminder of what is good in your life. Consider how positively others view you and the ways you support them. Who sees you as a role model and why? What in your life experience has led you to wisdom? Remember to honor these insights.

Embrace change. As you move toward your goals, continue an active process of getting to know your true self. Write about what you really value, care about and want - your dreams and passions? An empty journal won't help make your dreams come true but a well loved and often used one might do just that.

Journaling gives perspective and restores sanity. It can be a lifeline as well as a record.

Writing by hand can activate the mind/body connection. It gets you past the obvious and underneath the surface. And it lets you delve into issues and untangle messes. Studies show that journaling keeps you healthy by releasing mental toxins and deepening awareness. You’ll see, there’s something magical about putting pen to paper, regardless of who you are.

Begin a Journal in 2012

Have you made your 2012 New Year’s resolutions or aligned your energy with your deepest intentions? Want to know the best way to stay on track? Keep a journal.

Photo by Skrive - Flickr.com

This process helps you create a plan and the tools to actualize it.

Treat your journal like a good friend who listens without interrupting, criticizing or judging. Write about anything that comes to mind, like what’s bothering you or what’s not working. Journaling can clear your head and relieve stress. It helps you work through problems as well as opens you up to new ideas.

If you’re ready to give it a try, let these practical tips guide you:

Begin to write. By getting your ideas out of your head and onto paper you can examine them objectively and pursue goals that are right for you. Think about what may be holding you back or what you're protecting. Ask questions like, what am I afraid of? Or why am I sabotaging myself? Try to write without censoring. If you follow a stream of consciousness, you’ll uncover new ideas and meaningful answers.

Isolate pessimistic thoughts. Access the negative self-beliefs that prevent you from living the life you want. And write down the deep, dark secrets you're too scared to admit out loud. Then counter these with positive affirmations. Focus on how much others value you and how you contribute to the lives of family and friends.

Release emotions. If you have pent up feelings, writing can be cathartic. It helps you regulate your negative emotions and savor your positive ones. If you let go of judgment and trust your feelings, you'll open up to a deeper, more expressive experience. Read between the lines of your journal and trust what you discover - ways that you can express yourself, resolve conflict, gain closure, find inner strength, build relationships.

If you already journal, please tell our readers still on the fence the most important reason why. And log on here Wednesday for more ideas about journaling.

In the meantime, do you want more support to move toward your 2012 goals or intentions? Sign the email list to the left of this post to receive our free monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, and download a complimentary eBook about reaching your goals.

Goodbye to Kids at College, Hello to Yourself

If your kids are settled into college by now, it's time to catch your breath. How about luxuriating in a bubble bath or something equally unfamiliar? Don't you deserve it after years of caring for your family in flux? And here are a few ideas to think about as you begin this new chapter:

Discover your passion. What do you really value and care about? What do you imagine is your life purpose now? Take advantage of the extra time and follow your dream of returning to school or changing jobs. Join a hiking group, volunteer program or exercise class. Sign up for bridge or yoga. Put you front and center for a change.

Learn more about what you want. What nurtures your creative thinking or stimulates your curiosity? Identify your natural talents that come so easily you often don't notice. Think about your greatest personal strengths. These could be attributes as diverse as a love of learning or a sense of humor.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and why? What in your life experience has led you to wisdom? Honor these insights and find ways to share what you already know well with others who could benefit from your knowledge.

Decide to make a start - any start. Now, finally, it's about you. Why not pick up a journal and write about your feelings and plans for the future. You can begin with some specific goals and break them down into manageable short term objectives. Think about their purpose and what that means to you. Consider your internal and external resources and how they will help you achieve your goals.

With Parents' Weekend right around the corner, here's what to expect. And when packing for the event, don't forget to take along your new attitude. It will help ease your college kids' minds about how you're adjusting to life without them.

We encourage you to spend time exploring our website, HerMentorCenter.com. You'll find lots of articles about how to nourish you. On the homepage menu, click Newsletter Library and Nourish Relationships and then on the specific topics that interest you.

Want more information? Download our complimentary eBooks Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals. and Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm Let us know how you're doing and give other readers some tips about how to make a fresh start – we're all in this together. Just click on 'comments' at the end of this post and follow the prompts.

Tough Enough to Wear Pink

Now that October - designated as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month - is here, a focus for women is early detection and improved treatments. As a breast cancer survivor myself, I have participated in many Walks over the years and this weekend I again joined with other families to raise funds for finding a cure. Each time I have walked with others to support research, I find that what we really support is each other. The camaraderie and sisterhood that comes from walking together and working together to fight breast cancer transforms a feeling of helplessness to a powerful sense of control.

Worldwide over 1 million women are diagnosed with breast cancer every year. Other than skin cancer, breast cancer is the most common one facing American women today. The likelihood is that 1 in 8 women in America will need to cope with this disease during her lifetime.

With mammography, MRI and physical exams leading to early detection, most breast cancers can be successfully treated today. With improved therapies, there are between 2 and 3 million American women living today who have survived breast cancer. As breast cancer survivors have learned, coping with any serious illness can take a toll on you - emotionally as well as physically. We've got some tips this week to help manage your recovery so that you can move forward with your life and become more resilient:

Turn to others for support. Your family and friends can provide a network of comfort, encouragement and assistance. You may also want to join a breast cancer support group, either in person or on-line. Support is helpful in several ways - it gives you someone to listen to you when you need to express yourself, someone to give you information and feedback, someone to help you with practical matters such as an errand that needs to be done. Support will be there for you if you look for it. It may feel awkward at first to ask for help, but you'll find friends want to do what they can for you.

Begin to set new goals for yourself. When you're first diagnosed with breast cancer, you may feel like your life is completely out of control. To regain a sense of direction, reflect on what priorities are important to you and then set a goal within your reach. Identify your strengths and build on them as you plan how to achieve your objectives. You may want to start a journal to help you consider strategies and options. Initiate your plan in small steps and review your progress regularly.

Look for ways to draw something positive out of the experience. Women who are able to find some positive meaning in such a negative situation often experience growth as well as a greater sense of control and feelings of confidence and optimism. Think about how you can use the unique perspective you have gained to make the rest of your life richer and more meaningful. Nancy G. Brinker supported her sister Susan in her unsuccessful fight against breast cancer and later founded Susan G. Komen for the Cure. It has become the world's largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists and the largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to winning the fight Susan ultimately lost.

You may feel overwhelmed by the challenges you are facing after breast cancer and that you don't have the energy to cope with it all. Remember that just as in a 5K walk, when you begin to put one foot in front of the other, you will eventually get to where you want to be. And you may even arrive with a new perspective and a greater appreciation of the preciousness of your life.

Surviving Breast Cancer

As you recognize from all the pink ribbons around, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. Yet soon the month will be over and done - just as breast cancer can be diagnosed and treated. Between 2 and 3 million American women today have survived this health challenge and are living cancer-free. But thriving after any serious illness is complicated and sometimes feels like an uphill struggle.

Today's coping tips can help you support yourself - emotionally and physically - along the difficult course of dealing with breast cancer and its treatments. As women move through this process, many find that staying informed and involved at each step gives them a sense of power and resiliency. The National Cancer Institute, a part of NIH, has a wide range of materials to make this job easier. Here are some more tips from us to help you take charge of your life.

Take good care of yourself. Pamper yourself - you deserve it! Follow the guidelines of the American Cancer Society and set aside time for you. Begin an exercise program that includes aerobics, flexibility and strengthening exercises. Enjoy eating a more healthful diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Schedule relaxation time to decrease the stresses in your life. Learn visualization techniques. Think about what you really like to do and do it. Of course this is easier to say than it may be to do, but stick with your decision to make time for yourself. You can make it happen.

Redirect yourself toward active goal setting. When a serious illness strikes, you may feel like your life is completely out of control. To regain a sense of direction, reflect on what priorities are important to you and then set a goal within your reach. Identify your strengths and build on them as you plan how to achieve your objectives. Journaling may be helpful as you consider strategies and options. Initiate your plan in small steps and review your progress regularly.

Make something positive come out of the situation. Women who are able to find some positive meaning in such a negative situation often experience growth as well as a greater sense of control and feelings of confidence and optimism. Think about how you can use the unique perspective you have gained to make the rest of your life richer and more meaningful. Nancy G. Brinker supported her sister Susan in her unsuccessful fight against breast cancer and later founded Susan G. Komen for the Cure. It has become the world's largest grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists and the largest source of nonprofit funds dedicated to winning the fight Susan ultimately lost.

Take credit for the challenge you have faced and the changes you are making. Recognize and accept that you have faced many difficulties in your process of healing. Give yourself credit for the hard work you have completed to get to this point in your recovery. You have learned about yourself and made changes in the way you think, feel, act and react to yourself, others and the situation around you.

You can read one woman's story about her experiences with breast cancer on our website in an early newsletter. Feel free to browse around and read other archived newsletters that interest you. Then sign up to receive your own copy of our free monthly newsletter in its new format, Stepping Stones, emailed directly to you. When you do, you'll receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned.

Say Goodbye to Your College Kids and Hello to Yourself

After you've said goodbye to your college kids, it's time to say hello to you. Imagine that you're the woman in the photo below, journaling your way into the next chapter of your life.

Engage in an active process of learning more about what you want to do. What nurtures your creative thinking? What stimulates your curiosity? Identify your natural talents. What comes so easily you often don't notice it? How about the acquired skills you have used successfully? Think about what you consider to be your greatest personal strengths. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty to others.

Discover what you feel passionate about. What do you really value and care about? What are your dreams? What do you imagine is your life purpose now? Take advantage of the extra time and follow your dream of returning to school or changing jobs. Join a hiking group, volunteer program or exercise class. Learn more about bridge or yoga. Put yourself front and center for a change.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and why? What in your life experience has led you to wisdom? Honor these insights and find ways to share what you already know well with others who could benefit.

Now, finally, it's about you. So decide to make a start - any start. Write out some specific goals and break them down into manageable short term objectives. Reflect on their purpose and what that means to you. Consider your character strengths and personal resources – and how they will help you achieve your goals.

Want an example of what to expect at Parents' Weekend? When packing for the events, don't forget to take along your new attitude. It will help ease your college student's mind about how you're adjusting.

We encourage you to spend time looking around our website, HerMentorCenter.com. You'll find information on all aspects of family relationships by clicking on 'Newsletter Library' and 'Nourish Relationships', and then on the specific subjects that interest you. Write us about your concerns and ask some questions - click on 'comments' below this post and then follow the prompts - we want to hear from you!

The Empty Nest in Tough Economic Times

These are tough times, with so many baby boomers suffering from unemployment, money problems and foreclosure. There are plenty of reasons to feel anxious and sad. And if you're dealing with the empty nest, that may feel like the last straw.

Give yourself an emotional break and see what happens. Understand that even though your kids have moved out, you're still needed although not in the same way. Letting go of your parenting responsibilities means letting go of the family role you've played so far. Sit back and breathe in deeply as you appreciate this opportunity to create different relationships within your family.

Practice letting go. Cry if it helps - it's natural to feel plenty of emotion at this turning point. Try to visualize one door closing and another door opening. Relax into feeling more calm and carefree. Let yourself get excited by the possibility of exploring what you want to do with all the free time you now have.

Decide to write regularly in a journal. As you think about all that is happening in your life right now, you will naturally acknowledge the pressure you're feeling. And by identifying and dealing with what is going on for you emotionally, you'll learn to take more control over this process of change. You'll find that journaling is a great tool for reducing stress and increasing self-awareness.

The Newsletter Library of HerMentorCenter.com is packed full of information that can help you move forward. You'll learn from other womens' experiences. And then why not buy Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm for only $2.45 - it will change your attitude and help you cope in these difficult times.

Listing Your Strengths

Keeping a journal will help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as you look at all aspects of your life. As you begin to make an inventory of your assets, include what you have done and the value you have created in the past - as student, family member, career associate, community volunteer, friend. Now think about what you are currently doing in your life that you feel proud about - the gift of time that you give as a Sandwiched Boomer to you growing children and aging parents as well as those around you.

Identify your strengths. What are some of your natural talents? These are the things that come so easily you often don't notice it. And how about the acquired skills you have used successfully? You may have worked hard to perfect them. Both your talents and your skills make up your abilities - your greatest personal strengths. Think about what they are and how you use them. These could encompass, among others, attributes as diverse as a love of learning, a sense of humor, loyalty, an appreciation of beauty, the ability to love and be loved. Recognize how you apply them in your life everyday.

Consider how others view you and your contributions. Who uses you as a role model and in what areas? Realize that all of your life experiences have led you to the wisdom you now possess. Honor this insight and find ways to share what you already know well with your own children – or, if they are already grown, mentor students learning to read, become a Big Sister, coach a soccer team at the youth center.

To read more tips about how to build your strengths and prepare to utilize them, click on the post title above to take you to our article, Captain Sullenberger: Heroes and Lessons Learned, on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

NBCAM and Dealing with Breast Cancer

As women move through the steps of coping with breast cancer and its treatments, many find that staying informed and involved in the process gives them a sense of power and resiliency. Here are some more tips to help you take charge of your life.

Redirect yourself toward active goal setting. When a serious illness strikes, you may feel like your life is completely out of control. To regain a sense of direction, reflect on what priorities are important to you and then set a goal within your reach. Identify your strengths and build on them as you plan how to achieve your objectives. Journaling may be helpful as you consider strategies and options. Initiate your plan in small steps and review your progress regularly.

Make something positive come out of the situation. Women who are able to find some positive meaning in such a negative situation often experience growth as well as a greater sense of control and feelings of confidence and optimism. Think about how you can use the unique perspective you have gained to make the rest of your life richer and more meaningful.

When you feel like it is almost too much to get started making a change, reflect on how inertia can hamper your efforts to cope. Click on the post title above to take you to our website and the article, "Sandwiched Boomers: 7 Tips on Fighting Inertia." They will help give you just the push you need to begin.

Today's pink ribbon is by Rachel Meinz and can be found on Carol Sutton's site, http://www.carolsutton.net/download_pink-ribbon.html

Your Voices

We hear from women facing difference kinds of challenges every day - personal, family, career. Here's a sample of some of the kinds of issues they are confronting. How about you? What are your concerns? What helps you cope?

One reader is surprised by how fast time has changed her from the young woman she once was:

"I don't like to look in the mirror. Though I feel the same inside, I am shocked by how old and frumpy I appear in pictures with my children and grandchildren. How do I begin to face these inevitable physical changes? I'm only in my 50's. I never thought I'd be facing these issues at this age. I am just beginning this transition and am fighting all the way. When did my face change so much while I wasn't looking? I have older friends who think I'm being foolish. Their attitude is, "that's the way it goes, accept it!" But I'm not ready to yet. I have considered counseling to find a way to accept aging. I'm looking for a good book on the subject of adjusting to the physical changes of the 50's and beyond."

Another reader has been dealing with her grief at the loss of her husband and has discovered a few ways to help lift some of her pain:

"I am grieving the death of my husband and soul-mate of 32 years who passed away last year after being diagnosed with cancer just 3 months earlier. We were also partners in our business for the past 20 years, and I am now having trouble maintaining enthusiasm for it. My view of the future right now is primarily focused on my 4-year-old grandson, plus continuing to help others in any way I can. I am a strong survivor, but at 63, I am having trouble re-establishing my sense of identity and perspective as a single person. My best therapy is spending quality time with my 4-year-old grandson! I have attended grief classes and continue to have meaningful communication with understanding friends. I begin and end each day by cultivating a spirit of gratitude, and I release a great deal of grief through journaling. I devote much of my time assisting a blind elderly aunt, and enjoy writing to friends and family who need moral support. I have planned to begin a fitness program as a way to maintain both my physical and emotional health, but haven't followed through as yet." 


Another is focused on her career and how she is coping with menopause:

"I wonder if my thoughts of a career change are driven by my perimenopause. I tell myself I shouldn't fear going through financial changes because of changes I've planned in my career direction. I'm consulting with career counselor and connecting with colleagues and friends to get support, job information, and relaxation. I think about how I can take care of perimenopause and provide support to other women going through the same journey. I use yoga and meditation to start my day right and have regular massages." 
 
 



What kinds of issues are challenging you? Do you have any words of support for your sisters out there? Let us hear from you. You can express your thoughts to us several ways: go to "Comments" below and leave a note, anonymously if you prefer; or click on the post title above to take you to the "About You" section of our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, where you can write as much as you want; or just email us at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. We're waiting to hear from you!

Virtual Book Tour for Sandwiched Boomers

We welcome Lynn Goodwin and all Sandwiched Boomers. Lynn's book, YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers, gives encouragement, simple instructions, and over 200 sentence starts to get you journaling. According to Lynn, journaling relieves stress, helps you analyze and process your life, and sometimes helps you find joy. Even if you are only taking care of yourself, journaling is a great way to get through stuck places and open up new ideas.

NR: Why do you believe that journaling is such a great stress reliever?

LG: Writing gives perspective and restores sanity. It is a lifeline as well as a record. Journals listen without interrupting. They let you delve into issues and untangle messes. Studies have shown that journaling keeps you healthy by releases mental toxins and deepening awareness. Without journaling, I know I might have lost myself. When you write in your journal, it can be all about you.

NR: What do you do if you have nothing to say?

LG: Look around the room for an image or a sensory detail—the way the sun makes a path on the carpet, the way steam rises off a cup of coffee, carrying the aroma of morning with it. Listen to the high pitched whirring of an omnipresent machine, the tick of the kitchen’s black-and-white, kitty-cat clock—any image at all. Go wherever an image takes you.

NR: How did you turn your journaling experiences into a book?

LG: I think the idea was percolating the whole time I was simultaneously caring for my mother, working in an adult literacy program, tutoring online, and running Writer Advice, www.writeradvice.com. Trial and error taught me what worked.

One day I realized that there were plenty of books of prompts for writers, but nothing that addressed the needs of caregivers. I knew writing worked. I knew how to write. I wanted to invite others into the process. I’d been writing sentence starts for a free writing group I call the Berkeley Women, and I knew from their writing and my caregiving experiences that my sentence starts would work. I knew I had to convince caregivers to try writing, show them how, and group the topics into subjects. Looking back, it feels as if the book almost wrote itself.

Now I’m reaching out to all kinds of caregivers. If you know a professional, a support group leader or any kind of caregiver who can benefit from this book, please tell them to check out the Journaling for Caregivers link on Writer Advice, www.writeradvice.com or search for B. Lynn Goodwin at Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Thanks for helping them connect with my book.

NR: What are your top three writing tips for caregivers?

LG: It’s hard to pick just three, but here’s a start.

1. Write about anything.
2. Start with what needs to spill out.
3. Write freely. Be specific. Lose control.

There are lots more tips in the book. Ready to get started? Pick up a pen or open a Word document. Write I feel… Then finish the sentence. Write another sentence. You are journaling. See what happens if you write for ten minutes. There is no wrong way to do this.

NR: Does this work for all caregivers?

LG: So far it’s worked for current, former, and long distance caregivers of spouses, parents, and special needs children.

It’s been equally effective for those in the midst of caregiving and those who are now taking care of themselves. Those left alone after a loss seem to find special comfort in journaling and sharing what they write. They are empowered when others relate to their specific experiences. There’s something magic about putting pen to paper, regardless of who you are.

One workshop participant said, “ Writing from the heart seems to be all that is needed.” I agree. Another said, “I can’t tell you how many things I’ve sorted out by being able to write them down.”

This is a great tool for volunteers, nurses, teachers, and those in the helping professions. We are all caregivers in one way or another.

Thanks, Lynn, for your insight and practical information. We know that journaling is a technique that can be of great value to all of us. Now click on Comments below and let us hear from you!

You can learn more about Lynn's e-mail workshops at www.writeradvice.com. Click on Journaling for Caregivers. Then click on Workshops/Events. To sign up, send her an e-mail. There’s a contact button on the site.

Moving Along with Your New Year's Resolutions

Now that you have begun, here are some more tips to keep you moving toward your goal of achieving your New Year's resolutions.

Continue taking small steps. They will eventually get you where you want to go if you keep moving forward. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to make strides that are too difficult. Continue to set short-term objectives as you progress toward your long-term goal. You may need to refine your strategies along the way as you discover what works best for you.

Keep track of what you are doing. Keep a daily journal focused on how you are implementing your behavior change. Record the pattern of your scheduled walks. Develop a detailed budget and observe how you are spending cash. Write down what you eat every day to give you insight and motivation.

Buddy with a partner. Having someone share your journey makes the process more enjoyable. Join a support group where you can talk about your frustrations, particularly if you are working on abusive or self-destructive behavior. Talk with friends and family about your progress or lack of it. See a professional or look to the Internet for information and resources.

For more encouragement, click on the title above to take you to our article, How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge at www.HerMentorCenter.com. It will guide you in setting up some steps to take when you are making changes in your life.

Our final tip this week comes full circle to taking better care of youself. The more you do, the better able you are to care for others. Remember what the stewardess says on each plane trip, put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help your children put on theirs.

Take care of yourself. You know what you need to do. Find a way to make it happen. Get a good night's sleep - 6 to 8 hours a night helps you physically, improving your immune response, as well as emotionally. Eat a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grain carbs. Participate in regular exercise to increase the flow of oxygen-rich blood, bring down resting adreneline rates and decrease depression. Increase your social network - going out with friends is not only fun, it lowers your inflammatory responses. Practice daily the stress reduction exercises we have talked about this week - deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation - to reduce your heart rate, blood pressure and stress hormones such as cortisol. Work on reframing your thoughts to keep from catastrophizing.

B. Lynn Goodwin has commented about blog this week and added another helpful tip for relieving stress. "Thanks for posting such helpful hints. Stress always rises in December and this year it could shoot through the roof as the economy looms large over all of us. Here's one more technique for reducing stress. Journal about it. Let your fears spill out on paper. As you write you process stress, relax, and solutions emerge. You might find yourself feeling hopeful again. Want a little help getting started? Visit www.writeradvice.com, click on Journaling for Caregivers and explore. Everyone in the sandwich generation is a caregiver for someone. Be a caregiver who takes care of herself. Journal."

These times of economic freefall are stressful for everyone. Investors are feeling insecure, not knowing what to expect next. Without a financial safety net, you may feel out of control as credit dries up, your 401K declines to a '201K' and your retirement benefits disappear. It's not easy to keep your emotions in check but you have a responsibility to learn to control your behavior so that it is not abusive. You owe that to your family - and yourself.

We have been committed to encouraging the experience and expression of gratitude since we worked with Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of the Positive Psychology movement and the author of "Authentic Happiness." In his book, Dr. Seligman proposes that we identify our strengths and apply them to creating an authentically happy and meaningful life, complete with personal gratification as well as with community improvement. He believes that the expression of gratitude in a concrete way to important mentors, role models and friends changes both the giver and receiver of the "thanks" in a positive way.

In addition, keeping a gratitude journal, as we blogged last Thursday, allows you the opportunity to focus each day on what you are thankful about. Focus on what brings you pleasure and enjoy the results of savoring that experience.

If you would like to learn more about how your own views about gratitude affect you, visit Dr. Seligman's site, http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upen.edu/ and take the Gratitude Survey questionnaire as well as other questionnaires on the website.

I know I am grateful that my three wonderful grandsons are coming in this evening to visit for the week. As we share our Thanksgiving meal, I will express my gratitude that they are a part of my life and I am a part of theirs.

Your emotions will likely come into play as you deal with the complexities of being a Sandwiched Boomer. Pay attention to your moods as you work to express and cope with those feelings.

Guilt runs rampant among Sandwich Generation caregivers who often worry that they're not doing enough for their loved ones. Remind yourself that you're dancing as fast as you can, given the realities of your life situation. You don't have to be the perfect mother, daughter, or wife. Set your own reasonable standards rather than falling in the trap of trying to live up to others' expectations.

Work to release additional areas of negativity - both in thought and emotions. When you are afraid of what the future holds in store or angry about what you need to cope with on a daily basis, acknowledge these as normal reactions and accept that they will come and go. Your frustrations and resentments make up part of the tapestry of your life but they need not be in the forefront. Once you understand that they are common responses to a difficult situation, you will find it easier to let them recede.

As you free yourself from negative feelings, begin to replace them with a more positive attitude. In your journal, write about what you are grateful for in your life. End each evening by reviewing three pleasant things that happened that day and savor the warmth these memories generate. Let your creativity emerge as you explore new interests.

As you recognize how your emotions affect you, begin to institute new ways to achieve more self-fullness. Tomorrow we will address some gifts you can give yourself to lighten the load.

On almost a daily basis, as Sandwiched Boomers, you are bombarded by a variety of tasks involving aging parents and growing children. You're also balancing a myriad of responsibilities at home with those that confront you at work. And that's without mentioning your ongoing commitment to stay healthy, lose weight and exercise regularly. Just thinking about your hectic lifestyle can stop you in your tracks.

If you find yourself in this predicament and are feeling the time crunch, join us over the next few days - we're going to give you some practical guidelines.

First of all, take a deep breath and let go of negative thoughts about yourself in relation to getting stuff done. Actively dispute the notion that you are lazy, apathetic or can't get a handle on the process. Choose a simple affirmation or a mantra that rings true for you - such as, yes I can - and repeat it often, out loud and with conviction. Give yourself an emotional break and watch what happens.

Make a start, any start. Buy a journal or borrow one of the notebooks your son isn't using and do your homework. Write out some specific goals and break them down into smaller, more manageable short term objectives. Reflect on their purpose and what that means to you. Consider the character strengths and personal resources you have that will help you achieve your goals.

Click on "comments" below and follow the directions to share your thoughts - let us know about the affirmations that work for you and the goals that you are setting.