How to Exorcise Ghosts from the Past

Although Halloween today revolves around trick-or-treating and costume parties, in the past masks were worn to placate the evil spirits. You may not believe in witches and goblins, but when was the last time you thought seriously about ghosts that haunt you?

Your thoughts are mental products although they don't necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. The bad feelings you have may be due to normal temperament, stress overload, situational sadness or even clinical depression. Did you know that 1 in 4 people actually suffer from depression at some time in their lives and close to 50% do not receive treatment? If you have had extreme sadness or feelings of helplessness and hopelessness for over two weeks, it's best to schedule an appointment with your medical professional to assess your symptoms and, if necessary, refer you to a specialist.

When there is no obvious trigger, do you try to minimize, ignore or dismiss how you feel? Instead, here are some ideas to help you better understand your negative emotions. You can learn how to reframe your thoughts and take better care of your emotional self. Begin by following these social support and self-care tips:

Honor your body to improve physical and emotional wellbeing. Pay attention to your exercise routine, your sleeping pattern and what gives you pleasure. Try to stay away from situations that cause stress and increase the ones that make you feel more relaxed and alive.

Focus on what you can accomplish rather than on what you can't. Look on the bright side of difficult situations as you create a balance between caring for others and your own needs. Take at least half an hour and read a book, listen to music or call a friend - it may help to mark it in your schedule until it becomes a regular part of your day. Although you can't always control external circumstances, you can control how you handle them.

Explore our website, Her Mentor Center for articles about what impacts the emotions of your family relationships as well as yourself. And log on here Wednesday for more practical insights that can help you beat the blues.

Focus on Gratitude During the Holidays - and All Year

Deciding to focus on giving thanks means a whole new mindset. As Albert Schweitzer put it, "To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude." When you follow these steps you can act on the gratitude you experience and live a rich life no matter what time of year or economic environment.

Positive psychology studies have shown that thinking about someone to whom you are grateful and conveying that gratitude increases your own well-being - you will feel less stress and depression and more happiness and pleasure in your lives and relationships. Expressions of gratitude give you a greater sense of purpose in life and more feelings of personal growth and sense of control. And you'll even get a better night's sleep! Not a bad thing for a Sandwiched Boomer, coping with the daily stresses of caring for aging parents and growing children.

Click on the post title above to give you some suggestions about unique gifts of yourself you can give your family this holiday season. You will be able to read our article, Celebrate the Holidays with the Gift of Time.

As our readers said yesterday, during hard times friendships really matter.

It may be difficult for you to ask for help if you’re used to being the one who provides it. Perhaps you believe that your self-esteem comes from not needing to depend on others. Now is the time to recognize that, being human, you can receive as well as give support.

Don't hesitate to buddy up with a friend who is going through similar changes. Accept her love and encouragement as you allow her to feel good about being able to help you. Your friends can provide a supportive network, only if you let them in.

Giving as well as receiving support is beneficial. When you offer as well as accept friendship, you'll find you are healthier over time. As the 17th century British playwright, Hada Bejar, said, “The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.”

Whether it's a casual dinner after work or a weekend away at a spa, monthly book clubs or weekly exercise workouts, don't you love to get together with other women? Friendship shapes who we are and who we are yet to become. If friends counter the stress that swallows up much of our time, are such a source of strength and nourishment, keep us healthy and even add years to our life, we owe it to ourselves to find the time to be with them. It's crucial to our well-being.