The Sandwich Generation, Stress and the Holidays

As busy members of the sandwich generation, is the widespread commercialism of the holidays getting you down? How would you like to spend less time racking up credit card debt and more time putting heart into your relationships? A recent study shows that strong relationships not only provide companionship but boost longevity.

There's a lot riding on family togetherness during the holidays and this can cause stress for everyone. Here you'll find a variety of articles on stress, from the effects of too much pressure to how to measure your stress level and manage better.

In blended families, there's the challenge of logistics, with the problem of trying to accommodate others' needs and still not compromise your own. And when family members don't live in the same city, it can be complicated whether you decide to go back home or have them on your turf. Of course, there are always ghosts of holidays past coupled with your present expectations, which are often unrealistic.

Although it's important to appreciate the traditions of giving and receiving, the accumulation of stuff can't hold a candle to the gift that matters most. This year, recreate the joy of simpler days by giving the priceless gift of connection to your family. Here are a couple of tips that will help you restore balance:

If you're traveling, pack your patience. Old family dynamics and unfinished business are bound to surface. Make a decision to leave behind the baggage that's too big to fit in the overhead compartment.

Balance nurturing the well being of others and your own. Honor your body by doing what makes you feel physically and emotionally strong. Pay attention to your exercise routine, sleeping pattern and what you eat. Try to do what makes you feel less stressed, relaxed and alive.

Log on here Wednesday for more practical strategies. And get a head start by clicking on the Family Relationships category at HerMentorCenter - scroll down to the holiday section to find articles about how to deal with pressure and prevent disappointment.

Educate Yourself

With the G20 meetings scheduled this week to focus on the global economic crisis, Sandwiched Boomer families continue to be hit by the recession and job losses. If these changes are hitting close to home, here are two tips to help you get started on building flexibility into your family:

Educate yourself about family finances. Get involved with the family budget as you seek out ways to reduce your expenses. Keep track of minor expenditures that can add up, like dinners out, entertainment and credit card interest rate costs. Think outside the box as you educate yourself on new possibilities open to you. They may involve dramatic changes like downsizing your home, selling some possessions or even giving up plans for early retirement.

Expect a husband who has lost his job to have an emotional reaction. It's normal to feel frustrated, tense, and anxious at this time. But look for signs of more serious emotional changes such as depression, anger, or feelings of worthlessness. Stress can lead to dysfunctional responses like excess drinking, gambling or acting out. Acknowledging the common effects of job loss will help you avoid conflicts over minor issues.

Click on the title above to take you to our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com where we offer you additional articles to help educate you and improve your coping skills. Look at past articles archived in the Nourishing Relationships section and the Newsletter Library section. You are welcome to sign up for our free newsletter, Stepping Stones, on the website. The link above takes you to our article, Seven Ways to Delay Gratification in a Troubled Economy, that gives you further tips.

Layoffs and Sandwiched Boomers

Consumer spending fell for a record sixth straight month in December as recession battered households worried about surging layoffs. As sandwiched boomers, you and your family may be personally effected by job loss.

In years of plenty, our society operated largely on the pleasure principal, embracing the notion of ‘I want what I want when I want it.’ Accustomed to instant gratification and a sense of entitlement, we were emotionally conditioned to have it all. The average American carried nine credit cards with a total $17,000 balance. We have been living large for so long that debt has become an integral part of our culture.

With individuals, families, the government and other countries leveraged now, it looks like the whole world is trying to adjust to a slow recovery. Credit card debt, amounting to 900 billion dollars in our country, makes putting off present pleasures for future gains sound like a very good idea. Getting back to basics may be just what society needs.

If you’re waiting for a rainbow after the huge storms we’ve been weathering, tune in all week as we discuss some ways to make it happen.

Sandwiched Boomers, what are you dreaming about this holiday season - universal goals like sustaining our planet's resources and gaining energy independence? Or, with the stock market meltdown, are you wishing for some relief from the financial pain? Even in the best of times, the stress that comes with the holidays this time of year can be exhausting. So why not give a gift to yourself?

Take some down time over the weekend. For a couple of hours each day, try not to focus on the problems. Curl up with a great book from the library, watch the ballgame with your teenagers, take your grandkids to the park.

Enjoy peace of mind by paying down your debts. Hold back from buying a lot of gifts or taking the family on an expensive outing. With your children, decide together how to spend a fun and relaxing day. Your family will understand and grow from the experience.

As Sandwiched Boomers in these challenging economic times, is the commercialism of the holidays getting you down? How would you like to spend less time racking up credit card debt and more time putting heart into your relationships? It is important to honor the tradition of giving. But the accumulation of stuff can't hold a candle to the gift that matters most. This year, recreate the joy of simpler days by giving the gift of connection to your family and friends.

Organize a potluck dinner. Enjoy time with your friends by inviting them over for an evening of fun. Ask them to bring their signature dish. Cut down on expenses by exchanging memories instead of gifts this year.

Create some of your holiday presents. Express yourself and add a personal touch by baking decorative cookies. Show others you care with an IOU to babysit while they have a much needed night out.

Think about the ways you give to others without breaking into your savings account. And let us know some of your ideas.