The Sandwich Generation and the State of the Union

Comments that have been logged onto our blog clarify that while we, and others, use the term Sandwich Generation, we are not actually referring to a real generation but rather to a stage of life in which any generation is stressed by caring for growing children and aging parents at the same time.

Yet the predicaments of the Sandwich Generation are even more relevant in today's world. Between 40 and 50 million Americans are now acting as unpaid care-givers to their aging parents, with one-third of them still raising children. And, in the average case, it is a working woman in her late 40's, stressed by trying to do it all.

Sandwich Generation issues have been exacerbated due to a combination of circumstances: since the last decade or two of the 20th century, couples have been starting their families later in life; adolescence has expanded at least into the twenties, abetted by helicopter parents and with boomerang kids returning home, requiring financial assistance in a bad economy; seniors have been living longer, often with chronic illnesses - and with close to one-half of the workforce being women, we are often pulled and pushed by both ends of our family while having little time, energy and financial resources to care for ourselves while reacting to the needs of our loved ones in this recession.

While the lead-up to the State of the Union address indicated that a key theme would be helping the Sandwich Generation, President Obama made only a modest set of proposals to address these issues for middle-class families: increasing the child-care tax credit and capping student loan repayments.

It is expected that, in the next month, he will advance two additional proposals based on Vice-President Biden's task force: additional child-care funding for low-income families and increasing funding for programs assisting people caring for aging family members - through respite care, counseling, training and referrals - and for services allowing those elders to remain in their homes longer.

We can only hope that there will be assistance forthcoming to Sandwich Generation members, reducing their stress and anxieties as they care for their families-in-flux. To read about how to ease yourself into the role of care-giver for an aging parent, click on the post title above to take you to our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, How to Shift from Daddy's Girl to Dad's Caregiver.

Video Tips for Keeping Your Perspective in a Recession

Redefining a crisis as a challenge gives you the power to begin, step by step, coping with the situation. See the changes you need to make in this recession as the opportunity to create a more fulfilling life for yourself and your family. Recognizing your strengths and resources keeps you optimistic and resilient. Click on the video for 10-second tips about keeping your perspective in this recession.



For more tips about how to stay positive during this economic recession, click on the title above. It will link you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, "Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can think Positive in Tough Times."

Video Tips for Getting Support in a Recession

In these times of economic instability, when you may be feeling insecure and powerless, friends and family can buffer these negative conditions. Reach out to those who care about you and let them know how much their caring sustains you. Expressing your gratitude for their support is good for both you and them - each of you will grow stronger and more powerful. Watch our video today for 10-second tips about gaining support.



You can learn more about getting support when you find your stress levels increasing as your financial stability decreases - click on the title above. It will link you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, "The Economy and Domestic Violence: What if You are the One with a Short Fuse?"

Video Tips for Taking Care of Yourself in a Recession

You have probably noticed that the economic downward spiral has affected more than your pocket book. For most of us, it has also taken a toll on our feelings of well-being and security. Reports indicate that mental health calls due to financial pressure have increased more than 100% in the past months. If you are feeling signs of distress, check out our video tips for today to learn how to take better care of yourself.



To read some tips about how to create a healthier lifestyle for yourself and your family during the current financial downturn, click on the title above. It will link you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, "Recover from Financial Panic by Investing in Yourself."

Video Tips for Regaining Control in Financial Chaos

With the stimulus package having little effect and the continued loss of jobs, the recession appears to be continuing unabated. Still, you, and other Sandwiched Boomers, can regain some control over your situation by educating yourself, evaluating your finances and making the hard decisions that lead to changes in your lifestyle. Watch our video for more coping tips.



To read some tips about how to maintain and even strengthen your family relationships during this time of financial belt-tightening, click on the title above. It will link you to wwwHerMentorCenter.com and our article, "Marital Harmony Despite Financial Woes."

Families in Financial Flux

As Leo Tolstoy put it in Anna Karenina, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." And what about other family traits? Are families who are flexible all flexible in the same way? And are rigid families each set in their own ways?

Today, families are being shaken up in record numbers as financial turmoil hits home. With all the job-related uncertainties facing them, families must be able to make changes in order to adjust to the current economic climate. They may even need to adapt to role reversals when a husband experiences a job loss. But how can they bend without breaking?

Even before the current recession, women have made up 46% of the workforce. This percentage will likely increase since men held 82% of the 2.5 million jobs that have already been lost since November. With more and more companies faltering and failing, the jobless rate continues to rise. As more men lose their jobs, the financial responsibilities of families are increasingly falling on the already burdened shoulders of women. When a woman becomes the sole breadwinner, the dynamics of the relationship change for everyone - husband/father, wife/mother and children. And as the family deals with the job loss, domestic stability may crumble and tensions climb. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can make adjustments at home that will help you all adapt to the turbulent changes in our society.

Tune in all this week as we give you some tips to help you combat the reorganization your family life may be facing as the economy continues to impact everyone. And click on the title above to take you to our website and an article, Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can Think Positive in Tough Times, with more suggestions to help you cope.

Layoffs and Sandwiched Boomers

Consumer spending fell for a record sixth straight month in December as recession battered households worried about surging layoffs. As sandwiched boomers, you and your family may be personally effected by job loss.

In years of plenty, our society operated largely on the pleasure principal, embracing the notion of ‘I want what I want when I want it.’ Accustomed to instant gratification and a sense of entitlement, we were emotionally conditioned to have it all. The average American carried nine credit cards with a total $17,000 balance. We have been living large for so long that debt has become an integral part of our culture.

With individuals, families, the government and other countries leveraged now, it looks like the whole world is trying to adjust to a slow recovery. Credit card debt, amounting to 900 billion dollars in our country, makes putting off present pleasures for future gains sound like a very good idea. Getting back to basics may be just what society needs.

If you’re waiting for a rainbow after the huge storms we’ve been weathering, tune in all week as we discuss some ways to make it happen.

Yesterday came the official word about what families have sensed for a while - Americans are in the midst of a recession, potentially the worst since the Great Depression. Many people who are normally calm are stressed by the financial meltdown and concerned that they are spiraling out of control. If this sounds familiar, you could be emotionally at risk for harming your children, your spouse or elders under your care. If you are worried about your hostile attitude and aggressive behavior - be it verbal abuse or physical - begin to address your own fragility by following the suggestions we will be providing this week. Today we begin with one:

Work with a therapist to develop anger management skills and techniques for dealing with disappointment. Within the protective environment of a professional's office, you can share your hostile feelings, express your anger and then learn how to keep your aggression in check. As you improve communication, using words instead of physicality, you will feel more competent and in control. Psychological sessions will also lead you to insight, and the opportunity to understand the underlying roots of your negative emotions and behavior.

Tomorrow we will introduce additional aids to help you and other Sandwiched Boomers deal with your reactions during these trying times.

Well, Sandwiched Boomers, it's down to the wire with election day tomorrow. There's a buzz in the air as voters passionately discuss the critical issues - national security, health care and especially the economy.

With the recent confirmation that we are definitely in a recession, the “generation between” – those facing challenges with aging parents and growing children - is coming up with creative ways of dealing with the economic downturn. One idea is having aging parents - on fixed incomes and who need more help - move in. Some homes are getting crowded as post college age children who can’t find a job or make ends meet boomerang back.

But is this all bad? In other cultures, family members sharing responsibilities are not considered a failure but a loyal and honorable benefit. And who said that living independently is the best solution for everyone? The barter system, where a son helps care for his grandfather in exchange for a reduction in his rent is a win/win for all, as long as independence is his ultimate goal. It makes sense that family members who are in need support each other – especially during these difficult financial times.

The economic crisis has woken people up. Apparently 30% have already voted - and the enthusiasm around the election is great for democracy. If you haven't already, we hope you're excited about casting your vote.