Humor Wins the Day

Do you sometimes feel like the proverbial tree falling in the forest? When your teens don't seem to hear you speak, you may wonder if you're actually making a sound. If you're frustrated - like this mother - by your attempts to communicate with your kids, maybe it's time to try some humor.

It's not easy being a parent today. There's a fine line between protecting our children from very real dangers facing them - drugs, bullying, sexting, online predators - and overly controlling them through helicopter parenting.

When you set clear boundaries and expectations about issues you consider non-negotiable, like their safety, you can work with your teens to get their cooperation on others without resorting to these kinds of threats. Inject some humor into your conversations and see if you can recover some of those good feelings and belly laughs from the past.

Your Personal Health Plan is Job 1

Although "Obamacare" is now the law of the land for Americans, controversy still surrounds it. Candidates in November's elections have widely conflicting views about its value. Next to jobs as the most import issue in races this year, the new healthcare law is determining the voting patterns of many citizens throughout the country. The uncertainties arising from which party will control the House and Senate in 2011 may leave you in a quandary about your own healthcare strategy.

What can you do in the meantime? Decide on a personal health plan to improve your wellness every day. Our YouTube video for today includes the final two of ten tips for increasing self-fullness. Feel free to begin with any of the tips you like - there's no deductible or co-pay involved. As you decide to take better care of yourself, you will discover the strength to find balance in your life. Develop a firm core - it will sustain you as you continue to nurture your growing and changing family.

The short video, Your Personal Health Plan: 10 Tips for Self-fullness, provides some ideas about how to give yourself the gift of laughter. You'll have more fun and studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making. And the video reminds you, it's healthy to receive as well as give. So accept the help, gratitude and love that others offer.

Are you a Sandwiched Boomer, with demands being made by your children and parents simultaneously? For some help in taking better care of yourself, our article, How to Nourish the Sandwich That is You may be just what you need to get started. Take a few minutes to browse around our website, Her Mentor Center where you'll find other articles with practical tips for nurturing yourself, resources, Stepping Stones, and information about how to receive our ebooks. You can use the comment link below to let us know what you think and how you're doing.

And feel free to participate in the polling questions to the left of this post. They change with each visit and give you the chance to have your opinions heard and tallied.

To your continuing good health!

Sleep-away Camp: Great for Sandwiched Boomers and Their Marriage

Believe it or not, sleep-away camp can be the best thing for you and your marriage. If you're a member of the Sandwich Generation, your life is likely full of responsibility - caring for parents growing older and kids growing up. When was the last time you luxuriated in time alone with your partner?

Now that your kids are successful nestled into camp life, it's your turn. Here are some tips that may help you ease into the comfort and excitement of a totally adult relationship.

Invest in each other. In a family with active children and demanding careers, it's the marriage that usually ends up on the back burner. Make efforts now to develop your relationship, just as you would any valuable asset. Feel more treasured as the emotional dividends grow.

In a HuffingtonPost.com article, here's how one mom describes her metamorphosis when she sends her 9 year old son to sleep-away camp for the first time.

Give the gift of time. Focus on each other by planning activities you'll both enjoy. Exercise together - rent a bicycle built for two or take a hike in the mountains. Stretch it out and take a long cut. Or sneak away - leave work early and meet at a museum or enjoy a picnic lunch at the park. Be spontaneous and mysterious - surprise each other and be free with your affection.

Want some more ideas to try out? Happily married readers of Today.com share their wisdom about how they keep their love light burning.

Act like kids and laugh a lot. In your daily routine when the kids are home you inevitably get bogged down with meals, laundry, work, bills. It can get stressful, and boring. Whole days go by where you just worry and totally forget to laugh. It's emotionally healthy to let off steam. Now you can be more playful - do something fun, silly or out of the ordinary. It'll force you to remember who you are at your core and remind your partner of why he fell in love with you.

Create romance and intimacy. More of this has likely been on your 'to do' list for a long time, so here's your chance to make it happen. No need now to pencil it in or make love on the run. Cook dinner together, turn on the music, light candles and share that bottle of wine you've been saving for a special occasion.

Sex in marriage can be complicated. Gain more clarity through this article in the Wall Street Journal that explores the relationship between sex, love, desire and arousal. And remember to practice what you've learned.

Time flies, so stay in the moment and enjoy each other. Before you know it the kids will be coming home. And what you've created with your partner during these few weeks will be a distant memory to savor when life, once again, is full of interruptions.

We want to hear from you. Click on 'Comments' at the bottom right-hand corner of this post. Ask questions, share your ideas. And log on Friday for more tips about how to keep a family camp-like feeling all year round.

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Seeing pictures of the people of Haiti - or those of Kabul or Iraq or the unemployment lines in America, take your pick - you may be filled with deep emotions yourself. How you deal with this stress and anxiety depends on many factors in your life, especially what has worked for you in the past. When you've felt frustrated and helpless before, what has helped you regain a sense of control? Was it humor or redirecting your focus or occasional distancing or rededication or creating a Plan B - or another strategy that worked for you? Here are some activities that you can try on for size to help you in the process of coping today:

Talk about your thoughts and feelings with family and friends and reach out to others in your support system. Be open to asking for help and validation of your emotions. You may want to consult a professional counselor for a non-judgmental ear and help in sorting out your concerns. Start a journal to aid you in the process of confronting your anxiety.

Maintain balance in your life between personal needs, work, and your family obligations. Don't overcommit yourself even as you retain a normal routine. If you are a Sandwiched Boomer, plan to carve out some special time for yourself even in the midst of caring for your growing children and aging parents. Remember to be open to the healing effects of laughter.

Exercise moderately several times a week. Find an activity that you enjoy and will stick with - walking with friends, keeping fit through dance or yoga classes, training at the gym. Get enough rest and sleep to allow your body to recover from the stresses of the day.

Eat sensibly, following a balanced diet of healthy foods rich in nutrition that serve as a natural defense against stress. Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and limit your use of sugar, caffeine and cigarettes to avoid their contribution to your jitteriness.

Tomorrow we'll share several more techniques to help you manage your anxiety and high levels of stress. If you click on the post title above, you can read one of the articles on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, for some additional tips, Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can Think Positive in Tough Times.

Friday, we'll be weighing in on tonight's State of the Union speech and its theme of assisting the Sandwich Generation.

Sandwich Generation:Resolve to Get Along

As members of the Sandwich Generation, your plates are already full with responsibilities for your growing children and aging parents. But remember that you and your love relationship needs nourishment too, especially if you're feeling stressed. When you're not sure how to handle it, these tips may help you out:

Compromise works in most conflicts. Be direct, yet open and flexible as you make your way through disagreements. Putting yourself in your partner's shoes and truly understanding the other point of view can resolve a conflict more easily and quickly.

Inject humor and laughter. Lightheartedness can be one of the first casualties of a busy life. Keep fun alive by joking around or using pet names. Making time to be playful with each other can lead to greater intimacy.

Do you want more ideas? Clicking on the title of this post will take you to our website, HerMentorCenter.com, and an article about how Sandwiched Boomers can fight fair.

Weather reports across the United States tell us we are in the midst of an artic cold spell this week. How to stay warm? Heaters are good - cuddling with your love even better. Here are some tips for creating a hot relationship with your Sandwiched Generation partner.

Invest in your partnership. Make time for your relationship just as you would for any valuable asset. The efforts that you put into growing and developing it will be returned in multiples. Use each other for support as you are going through the myriad challenges of life.

Keep up the romance. Remind each other why you fell in love. Set aside time to be together and focus on each other. Be free with your affection and warmth. Tap into your sensuality and find new ways of exploring and expressing your sexual relationship together.

Enjoy each other. Be playful and have fun together. Laugh and bring humor into your daily life. Plan some adventures - discover new activities you both like to do. All of these bring more pleasure into your relationship and encourage real intimacy between you.

How often do you give yourself a gift? As a Sandwiched Boomer, you owe it to yourself to plan ways to increase your self-fullness. What present would give you some pleasure? Here are some ideas:

Develop personal stress relievers to counteract the burnout that at times overwhelms you. Practice techniques of deep breathing, relaxation or your own form of meditation. Begin an exercise program that you will enjoy - commit to a schedule at the gym or take in the great outdoors, walking with a friend, biking in the neighborhood, hiking in the countryside on weekends.

Give yourself the gift of laughter - look for humor in your daily life, share a funny movie or television show with a friend, participate in activities that bring you joy. After you read the news section of your daily paper, turn to the Comics page to lighten your mood and release endorphins. Recent studies have found that a positive mood creates the atmosphere for better decision-making.

As a member of the Sandwich Generation, its up to you to make time for yourself the same way you manage to care for all of those around you. Tomorrow we'll look at how you can get some help in this process.

As you pay attention to nurturing you, notice how you feel stronger and better about yourself. This inevitably will lead to your feeling more self confident and deserving. That doesn't mean there won't be difficult times ahead - those are the moments when you need to pull from external and internal resources:

1. Reach out to your friends for social support. When you are at a low point is the time to receive rather than give. You have been there for close friends when they needed you in the past; now let them take a turn at comforting you.

2. Find something to be joyful about each day. Laughter is, in fact, a potent medicine and much easier to swallow than a handful of pills. Surround yourself with people who approach life with a positive attitude. Let your creativity flourish as you engage it.