Are You a Tiger Mother or Western Mom?

With the publication of her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chau has unleashed a flurry of heated discussions about parenting styles. When an excerpt of Yale Law Professor Chua's book was printed in the Wall Street Journal, there were well over 5000 comments - more than any other article in the history of their website.

Chau insists that her book is a memoir, not a guide about child rearing. But by describing her strict Chinese mother rules for her two daughters, now teens - no playdates, no sleepovers, no TV, no school plays, no choice in extracurricular activities - she emphasizes the control she exacted as they were growing up. And Chau explains the rigid academic demands she set for her daughters - getting no grade less than an A, being the #1 student in every school subject, playing the piano or violin at an expert level, winning gold medals. She justifies this by stating that it will serve her children in good stead as "achieving academic excellence gives you self-esteem."

By comparison, Western parents may be seen as coddling, soft and weak. Chau notes that studies have shown Chinese parents spend about 10 times as long each day drilling their children in academic subjects. But many have noted that these behaviors may have adverse effects. Arguments about parenting styles do not happen in a vacuum: the suicide rates are above average for Asian-American girls aged 15 - 24.

The Wall Street Journal followed up with an article by author Ayelet Waldman offering the flip side of parenting, In Defense of the Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom. Waldman highlights the value of letting children find their own way as they learn from their failures as well as their successes.

As moms, we all try to do the best we can, knowing that each child requires something different from us and there is not one right way to parent all children. Given those caveats, where do you weigh in on this battle between "tiger mothers"and "western moms"? Let's hear what you think about these very different parenting styles.

Here are some questions to consider: How do you describe your own mothering style? What's worked for you and your children? How were you raised? What do you think about how your grown kids are parenting their children? Is it really a cultural difference between East and West or a difference in expectations? We'll consider these questions again next Wednesday as we take a second look at tiger mothers and western moms.

Be sure to join us this Wednesday as we host a virtual book tour with Dr. Gary Small, author, with his wife Gigi Vorgan, of The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head: A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases. Dr. Small, director of the UCLA Memory and Aging Center and professor of psychiatry at UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine will answer our questions and be open to yours as well.

Sleep-away Camp: Great for Sandwiched Boomers and Their Marriage

Believe it or not, sleep-away camp can be the best thing for you and your marriage. If you're a member of the Sandwich Generation, your life is likely full of responsibility - caring for parents growing older and kids growing up. When was the last time you luxuriated in time alone with your partner?

Now that your kids are successful nestled into camp life, it's your turn. Here are some tips that may help you ease into the comfort and excitement of a totally adult relationship.

Invest in each other. In a family with active children and demanding careers, it's the marriage that usually ends up on the back burner. Make efforts now to develop your relationship, just as you would any valuable asset. Feel more treasured as the emotional dividends grow.

In a HuffingtonPost.com article, here's how one mom describes her metamorphosis when she sends her 9 year old son to sleep-away camp for the first time.

Give the gift of time. Focus on each other by planning activities you'll both enjoy. Exercise together - rent a bicycle built for two or take a hike in the mountains. Stretch it out and take a long cut. Or sneak away - leave work early and meet at a museum or enjoy a picnic lunch at the park. Be spontaneous and mysterious - surprise each other and be free with your affection.

Want some more ideas to try out? Happily married readers of Today.com share their wisdom about how they keep their love light burning.

Act like kids and laugh a lot. In your daily routine when the kids are home you inevitably get bogged down with meals, laundry, work, bills. It can get stressful, and boring. Whole days go by where you just worry and totally forget to laugh. It's emotionally healthy to let off steam. Now you can be more playful - do something fun, silly or out of the ordinary. It'll force you to remember who you are at your core and remind your partner of why he fell in love with you.

Create romance and intimacy. More of this has likely been on your 'to do' list for a long time, so here's your chance to make it happen. No need now to pencil it in or make love on the run. Cook dinner together, turn on the music, light candles and share that bottle of wine you've been saving for a special occasion.

Sex in marriage can be complicated. Gain more clarity through this article in the Wall Street Journal that explores the relationship between sex, love, desire and arousal. And remember to practice what you've learned.

Time flies, so stay in the moment and enjoy each other. Before you know it the kids will be coming home. And what you've created with your partner during these few weeks will be a distant memory to savor when life, once again, is full of interruptions.

We want to hear from you. Click on 'Comments' at the bottom right-hand corner of this post. Ask questions, share your ideas. And log on Friday for more tips about how to keep a family camp-like feeling all year round.