Building Resiliency After the Disasters in Japan

The Japanese concept of gaman - strength, patience, discipline - is evident in the reactions of the people there to the cascade of disasters that have hit them: earthquake, tsunami, nuclear contamination. In the midst of widespread damage, they are grieving their tremendous loss of lives and property but are also determined to endure and already beginning to rebuild. With the tradition of working together and an attitude that "everything will be all right," the Japanese people are hoping to move forward.

What can we learn from the people of Japan about resiliency in the face of tragedy? World events - and the 24/7 news about them - contribute to the anxiety and tension we feel on a daily basis. Without the effect of these outside events, the most frequently cited sources of stress in the recent American Psychological Association survey were money, work and the economy. Over one-half of the respondents also noted that family responsibilities and relationships were significant causes of chronic stress. Today, added to that, people are experiencing additional anxiety, though out of harm’s way themselves, because of the uncontrollable events that have hit Japan.

Coping with stress is important for building resiliency and maintaining our physical as well as mental health. Earlier this week on the blog we talked about four strategies to use when you are feeling overwhelmed. Here are five more suggestions for you to use now and on a regular basis:

Practice relaxation techniques. Set aside time for a regular routine of deep breathing, guided imagery, meditation or other stress reduction methods. Decide to put off worrying - much of what you may fear never actually happens anyway. Remember to be open to the healing effects of laughter.

Exercise several times a week. Only one-quarter of Americans surveyed by APA were satisfied with their level of physical activity. To increase yours, find an activity that you enjoy and stick with it - walking with friends, water aerobics, pilates or yoga classes, training at the gym.

Eat sensibly. Resolve to maintain a balanced diet of healthy foods rich in nutrition that serve as a natural defense against stress. Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and limit your use of sugar, caffeine and cigarettes as they can contribute to anxiety.

Reach out to your support system. Ask for help. Talk about your thoughts and feelings with family and friends - they can validate your emotions. You may want to consult a professional counselor for a non-judgmental ear and guidance in sorting out your concerns.

Be patient. Know that you will recover balance and serenity at your own pace. As long as you keep taking steps to move forward, you will eventually reach your destination. Like one-half of survey respondents, you may find that listening to music, exercising, spending time with family or friends and reading are comforting ways to manage stress.

Close to one-half of those surveyed by the American Psychological Association said they experienced irritability and anger as a symptom of stress. The APA has compiled a stress tip sheet to help reduce these kinds of negative emotions. You can learn to manage stress and become more resilient when you practice the strategies we've focused on this week. Nevertheless your emotional recovery, like the Japanese, will take time. Support - both for yourself and what you provide to others - is valuable as you begin the process of rebuilding and restoring hope in these difficult days.

Learning How to Cope from the Japanese

For the past 10 days, we've seen heartbreaking pictures of epic devastation in Japan, resulting from the massive earthquake and ravaging tsunami there. And read frightening reports of damaged nuclear reactors with newly elevated levels of radiation in the food and water supply. But what we've also seen are people reacting with composure and a cooperative spirit. And we've read about people demonstrating resilience and unity in the face of tremendous horror. Even with the shock of one-half million homeless and estimates of 10,000 dead, the culture of the Japanese remains one of harmony with a focus on what is best for the group. There is certainly grief and mourning the loss of loved ones, but the reaction to the tragedies has not led to a further deterioration of community cohesion.

From your distance, how do you respond? Are you overwhelmed by the 24-hour news coverage? Has your level of anxiety increased? If you're feeling vulnerable, you're not alone. The emotional reactions to disasters such as these may be even worse for baby boomers, who reveal higher levels of depression than other age groups, according to the website ThirdAge.com.

The palpable distress created by shocking news reports has added to the already high levels of stress identified by the American Psychological Association in their national survey. The study found 75% of the U.S. population experiences at least some stress every two weeks, with half of these rated at moderate or high levels, leaving people emotionally exhausted. And stress levels have increased over the past five years - even before the catastrophes in Japan - impacting both physical and psychological health.

APA has compiled some strategies to help those recovering from disasters. And to reduce your stress levels and take better care of yourself, here are some of our tips to help manage the pressures you face:

Focus on what you can control, not what you can't. The people of Japan could not stop the earthquake or tsunami but they did choose to react to the disasters with teamwork and a sense of purpose. When can't influence negative circumstances of your own, you can still decide how to handle them. Let go of painful thoughts and unrealistic expectations. Keep a journal to aid in the process of releasing frustration and coping with anxiety. Clearly define your goals and aspirations. As you keep your focus on what you can do, a positive accomplishment may emerge from the negative situation. Giving a helping hand does wonders - it provides aide to those in need and makes you feel useful too.

Maintain balance in life between family, job and your own needs. Don't over commit yourself - rather, attempt to retain a normal routine. Set aside some special time for yourself to recover your equilibrium - even if you are a sandwiched boomer with a family in flux. Get enough rest and sleep to allow your body to recover from the stresses of the day. Over 40% of the APA respondents reported lacking energy and feeling fatigued on a regular basis.

Shift your attention to what is truly important. Although hundreds of thousands in Japan lost their homes and possessions, they drew together as families and friends. As you revise your priorities, recognize the value of the underpinnings of your own strength - family, friends, spiritual connection. Express gratitude for your many gifts and change the focus from yourself to those around you. Offer help to those who require it, in Japan or in your own community. You'll feel better when you do and provide essential material support to the needy.

Draw on your strengths. APA survey respondents admitted their lack of willpower to create a healthier lifestyle, but 70% still thought they could improve and make the changes they had identified. What personal strengths have you used in the past to kick-start your progress? Rely on those now as well as ones you've developed more recently. Brainstorm ways to apply these abilities in a novel way.

The recovery in Japan will not be easy or quick. As Confucius said, A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Our hearts are with the people of Japan as they continue to take small steps forward toward personal and national healing. We can all learn from their determined attitude and courageous behavior in reaction to the tremendous crises they face.

For more tips about how you can cope with your own challenges, check back here on Wednesday. And you can receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching For Your Goals when you sign up for our free monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones.

Coping with Stress and Anxiety

You may be feeling anxious because of the economic meltdown, security fears brought on by acts of terrorism or natural disasters such as the earthquake in Haiti. Whatever the reason for your high level of stress, if you want to keep it in check, try on the following tips to restore a sense of hope to your life:

Use relaxation techniques. Set aside time for a regular routine of deep breathing, guided imagery, meditation, or other stress reduction methods to alleviate your feelings of anxiety. Decide to put off worrying - much of what we fear never actually happens anyway.

Focus on what you can control in your life and what you can accomplish, not what you can't. Let go of negative thoughts and unrealistic expectations. While you often can't control circumstances, you can control how you handle them. Clearly define your goals or aspirations and keep focused on them. Make something positive come out of a negative situation just as people across the world did in providing aid to Haiti after the devastating earthquake there.

Draw on your strengths. Use those you have relied on in the past as well as those you have developed more recently. Brainstorm new ways to apply the abilities you have in a novel way as you create new opportunities for yourself.

Be patient with yourself. Know that you will recover your balance and serenity at your own pace. As long as you keep moving forward, you will eventually reach your destination.

To learn more about strategies to help meet the challenges of the Sandwich Generation, visit our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com. And click on the post title above to be linked to our article there, Top Ten Self-fullness Tips for Sandwiched Women.

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

Seeing pictures of the people of Haiti - or those of Kabul or Iraq or the unemployment lines in America, take your pick - you may be filled with deep emotions yourself. How you deal with this stress and anxiety depends on many factors in your life, especially what has worked for you in the past. When you've felt frustrated and helpless before, what has helped you regain a sense of control? Was it humor or redirecting your focus or occasional distancing or rededication or creating a Plan B - or another strategy that worked for you? Here are some activities that you can try on for size to help you in the process of coping today:

Talk about your thoughts and feelings with family and friends and reach out to others in your support system. Be open to asking for help and validation of your emotions. You may want to consult a professional counselor for a non-judgmental ear and help in sorting out your concerns. Start a journal to aid you in the process of confronting your anxiety.

Maintain balance in your life between personal needs, work, and your family obligations. Don't overcommit yourself even as you retain a normal routine. If you are a Sandwiched Boomer, plan to carve out some special time for yourself even in the midst of caring for your growing children and aging parents. Remember to be open to the healing effects of laughter.

Exercise moderately several times a week. Find an activity that you enjoy and will stick with - walking with friends, keeping fit through dance or yoga classes, training at the gym. Get enough rest and sleep to allow your body to recover from the stresses of the day.

Eat sensibly, following a balanced diet of healthy foods rich in nutrition that serve as a natural defense against stress. Avoid the use of drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and limit your use of sugar, caffeine and cigarettes to avoid their contribution to your jitteriness.

Tomorrow we'll share several more techniques to help you manage your anxiety and high levels of stress. If you click on the post title above, you can read one of the articles on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com, for some additional tips, Five Ways Sandwiched Boomers Can Think Positive in Tough Times.

Friday, we'll be weighing in on tonight's State of the Union speech and its theme of assisting the Sandwich Generation.

A New Age of Anxiety and Stress

The mid- 20th century was known as the age of anxiety - spawning even an epic poem, a symphony and a ballet bearing that name. If you were a Baby Boomer growing up in the '50's, you probably learned to 'drop and cover' or even had a family bomb shelter to help cope with the existential fears of nuclear holocaust.

Now into only the first ten years of the 21st century, anxiety and stress levels have risen again at a monumental rate. A national health survey found that 75% of the general population experiences at least some stress every two weeks, with half of these rated at moderate or high levels. Our fears about terrorism, financial collapse, and global warming are mixed with our reactions to the devastating effects of natural disasters - earthquakes, flooding, hurricanes, and tsunamis.

The result of these real catastrophes is magnified by the 24/7 coverage of them by cable and Internet news services, leaving many of us feeling anxious, stressed and emotionally exhausted. As uncomfortable as you may feel, what you are experiencing is a normal response to an abnormal situation. Stress is a reaction by the body to an enormous demand placed on it. And those in the Sandwich Generation know about the extreme pressures of caring for their growing children and aging parents - all the while trying to stay above water.

There is a wide range of reactions and symptoms of stress and anxiety. Have you noticed any of these yourself?

Physical reactions such as: sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, headaches, body tension - being just plain jittery with a pounding heart and a knot in your stomach;

Emotional responses such as: anxiety, fear, frustration, feelings of vulnerability - the recognition of being unable to control the situation;

Cognitive changes such as: confusion, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, hyper-vigilance - finding you really can't think as clearly as before;

Behavioral reactions such as: isolation, irritability, restlessness, impatience, aggressive behavior - avoiding or pushing away friends and family.

If you are dealing with these kinds of symptoms, join us this week as we share some strategies and techniques for resolving your stress levels and reducing your anxiety. And click on the post title above to take you to our article, How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge, on our website, www.HerMentorCenter.com.

Anxiety and Hope for the People of Haiti Now

The weekend global telethon, Hope for Haiti Now, telecast on all major networks as well as the Internet, brought the tragedy into sharp focus. The news about the aftermath of the earthquake is heartbreaking and the vivid pictures tragic. As in grieving any loss, the people of Haiti are experiencing a wide range of emotions. Initially, many were grateful for surviving the catastrophe. But now they are faced with the realities of all they have lost – family, friends, shelter, food, clean water and a sense of security. And feelings of shock are giving way to disappointment and anger that relief efforts are so slow.

When we see the degree of devastation, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. What can we do to help? When others experience the effects of the violent forces of nature, we can bring some control to this event - and to our own feelings - by our actions and reactions. Even though we are out of harm’s way ourselves, we can understand the need for nurturing in the midst of the dramatic losses our Caribbean neighbors are facing.

Americans, and others across the world, have been offering aid at an unprecedented rate. But the recovery, both physical and emotional, will take a long time. You can contact the Red Cross or other service agencies to learn what you can do to support the Haitians. Or click on the post title above to be linked to the Hope for Haiti Now website. Any assistance is valuable to begin the process of rebuilding body and spirit. In joining together, we can be a part of bringing some help and hope to the Haitian community.

All this week we will be looking at ways to reduce the stress and anxiety we feel when we are faced with these kinds of uncontrollable situations. Tune in tomorrow for a look at some common symptoms you may be experiencing.

It has been three months since the 7.8 earthquake that devastated the Sichuan province of China, killing 70,000 people, injuring 375,000 and leaving more than 5 million homeless. Over 7,000 classrooms were destroyed and close to 10,000 children died in the tragedy. With the one child rule in China, there was an outpouring of grief as many families lost their only child.

In the opening ceremony of the summer games, 9-year old Lin Hao, accompanying flag bearer Yao Ming, represented hope for the Chinese poeple. Lin Hao was a student at the Yuzixi Primary School in quake-epicenter, Wenchuan County. He not only survived the earthquake but, after getting out of his classroom, went back into the rubble to pull two classmates to safety. During his rescue he was hit by falling rubble and suffered a head injury. And while waiting for help, he encouraged his classmates to sing, to keep their spirits up. When he was asked why he risked his life, he said that he was the hall monitor and it was his job to look after his classmates.

One of our readers commented that the most important lesson the Bejing Olympics can teach us is to be a good sport, a gracious loser and a generous winner. Although Lin Hao is not an olympian - at least not yet - his heroism makes a grieving country proud and, while still mourning, allows all of China to enjoy the celebration.