Sandwiched Boomers: Our Gift to You

Just for today, please indulge us in a stroll down memory lane. It's been 10 years since we published our first Stepping Stones newsletter and 5 years that we've been blogging here at Nourishing Relationships.

Early on we discovered that the Internet was like the Wild West and we joined with other pioneers to build a thriving community. We've met some incredible women through our work and want to share narratives they wrote for issues of the newsletter, some dating way back to 2001.

Read about joys and struggles of family life:

stepmother survival tips
kitchen dancing
the loss of a love

And about women who took a big step beyond their comfort zone:

doing what you love
self discovery at 52
a pilgrimage

We want you to know, dear readers, that we appreciate you! Even though we often don't hear from you directly, the statistics show that you're stopping by and reading the posts. As a gift for your loyalty, please download these complimentary eBooks and feel free to share them with your friends:

Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals

Taking Control of Stress in a Financial Storm: Practical Strategies and Resources for Success

If interersted, sign the email list to the left of this post to receive our monthly newsletter. And if you have your own story to tell or a family issue you want to discuss, we're listening. Just click on 'comments' below and start writing. Or email us at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com.

Complimentary Ebook on How to Reach Your Goals

Perhaps there's a goal you've wanted to reach for a long time - start a small business, rekindle an old friendship, run a 5K?

When you think about working toward a goal and the inevitable changes that go along with that, you may wonder:

How do I access my strengths?
What can help me grow?
Who will I be then?

If you want answers to these questions, sign our email list to the left, just below this post. And accept these gifts from us - receive our free monthly email newsletter, Stepping Stones, and download our free Ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching for Your Goals.

In this Ebook, you'll find stories about people whose names you probably recognize - Captain Sully Sullenberger, Susan Boyle, Senator Ted Kennedy - as well as practical tips about drawing on your own strengths to create the life you want. Try them on and see how they can work for you.

Senator Ted Kennedy and Reaching Your Goals

To finish up our week about having the courage to create the life you want, we use Senator Ted Kennedy as an example. No matter what challenges he faced, he never took his eye off the goal.

Kennedy's life was marred by tragedy and scandal - from the assassination of brothers John and Robert and the earlier death of his brother Joseph in World War II, to the deadly Chappaquiddick crash. Despite his personal losses and failings, Kennedy persevered. He served alongside 10 United States presidents and was well known for his political insight. Another significant role he played was as patriarch to his brothers' children and grandchildren.

You, too, can gain perspective, whether you're hit in the face with a crisis or making a slow transition into the next chapter of your life. Expect a cascade of feelings - anxiety, the desire to hold on, resentment, sadness, fear, even a sense of freedom. The emotional roller coaster ride is normal. If you have the fortitude to step back, take a deep breath and face the situation squarely, you can't help but grow from the challenges.

An article in Time called Senator Kennedy one of the greatest legislators in American history. You may not want to run for political office, but are you ready to take the first step toward a new goal? Sign our email list to the left of this post and download a complimentart ebook with practical strategies that can help you do it. Here's to the courage to begin re-writing your own story.

Resiliency in Difficult Times

Do you feel inundated by bad news coming at you from all sides? The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is spreading and the gushing thousands of feet below the surface has yet to be fully contained; new unemployment figures in the U.S. confirm the dismal private sector job creation that continues to lag; international conflicts rage and at home citizens are divided about immigrants' rights. World news reflects the tensions you may be feeling in your own relationships. How do you deal with the challenges coming from the rich but often problematic complexity of your family life? Here are some tips for you:

Draw upon your own strength. You will learn more about your capabilities when you are tested by hard times than when everything is going well for you. Resiliency is increased each time you get up and put one foot in front of the other. Bravery comes in many actions - facing an illness, providing for your family, starting a new career - not only on the battlefield. To learn more about identifying your Character Strengths, visit the Authentic Happpiness website and take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Use the ones that seem to define you - Signature Strengths - to support your progress through tough times.

Just as those in the foxholes feel the honest emotions of fear, anger, pain, guilt, anxiety and loneliness, allow yourself to experience these emotions when they are a part of your life.

Especially if you are a Sandwiched Boomer, it's easy to become overwhelmed by all you have on your plate. Torn between caring for your growing children and aging parents, it's normal to feel stressed and anxious at times. Don't blame yourself. Once you are able to acknowledge these feelings, then you can begin the long process of coping with them.

If you remember the fragility and transience of life as you move through it, you will savor each good moment you have. Integrate and reflect on all you have achieved in balancing your work and family with your own needs. Living your life to the fullest is a lasting mark of respect you can pay to your family and to the veterans you honored this week who have sacrificed the innocence of their youth for you.

For some role models of courage, look to the left of this post. When you sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, you will receive a link to a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned. There you'll find stories of resiliency and practical strategies for success in difficult times.

Connect with Your Family This Summer

Now that Memorial Day is past and school will soon be over, have you thought about how to use those extra summer hours to connect with your family?

With the summer season now unofficially open and the barbeque back in service, can we still learn from the heroes we honored on Memorial Day who have served and given their all to protect our way of life? As we respect their unique bravery, we can direct their lessons to our own family situation and apply the same principles to those closest to us.

Express the gratitude you feel for what they have given you - protection, opportunities, love, strength, enjoyment of life. You have doors open to you now because of them. This can begin with something as simple as a heartfelt "thank you," and develop into a more textured and thoughtful recognition of what you are thankful for. Find out more about the benefits of expressing gratitude through the Authentic Happiness website

Recognize the importance of revealing the love you have for each other. Those who have been in harm's way know the meaning of the words, "it's too late." Don't put off sharing your love; decide to make it a priority. Each day, acknowledge those you love, and who love you, as if it were your last.

Understand the value of friendship. Those in the service have trusted and leaned on each other as they've shared their experiences and relied on their camaraderie. Know that we are here to take care of our friends and family - close and extended - difficult though it may be at times.

Community support is there for the taking when you know where to look and how to ask for it. Be open to the reality that you might need to utilize the input and generosity of others. You are not diminished when you allow another to help you.

Are you looking for some ideas about how to connect and have a special family vacation this summer? Even Sandwiched Boomers can relax and enjoy time with extended family if you plan ahead. This summer, create memories to carry you and your family through the rest of the year. And log in to share your ideas about family togetherness.

To read stories of modern day heroes and how they coped with challenges in their lives, click on the link to the left. You can sign up for our monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, and receive a complimentary copy of our ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned, which showcases tips and strategies to use in your own family.

Memorial Day and the Value of Family

Memorial Day gives us all an opportunity to pay tribute to those in the Armed Service who have sacrificed their lives to protect our freedoms over the years.

Visiting a military cemetery on Memorial Day and witnessing all of the flags marking the graves, families of the fallen are there in record numbers to remember their relatives. A non-profit organization, TAPS, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, was founded by Bonnie Carroll after the death of her husband in 1992, to provide comfort for those who have lost a loved one in service to America.

TAPS has been there with programs and services for over 25,000 survivors since then. Their motto, "Remember the Love, Celebrate the Life, Share the Journey," aptly reflects their mission. Relatives are helped to gradually heal with the assistance of the TAPS program

You can visit the TAPS website for more information about how to make a difference by supporting their work.

As we remember with love and respect the sacrifice of these men and women, we can also reflect on the ideals of service, courage, and camaraderie as they apply to our own families.

After paying tribute to the men and women of the Armed Services on Memorial Day, make a commitment to honor your own family today. Express your gratitude for all that family provides for you. You will find that, as a part of the Sandwich Generation or not, it makes your time with each member more meaningful and relevant.

Syndicated Advice Columnist, 'Ask Amy' Launches Her New Website and Invites You to Join Her

Do you know Amy Dickinson, the national syndicated advice columnist and best selling author of The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them? She likely writes a column in your local paper.

This is what WashingtonPost.com has to say about Amy: "She comes across very much as you'd expect an advice columnist to: smart, humorous, commonsensical, not prone to deep self-analysis and - despite having lived in London and Chicago and worked in New York as a television producer - a passionate proponent of small-town American values."

We featured Amy in our monthly Virtual Book Tour in June, 2009. And you can read the entire interview if you go to 'Archives' to the left of this post, click on June, 2009 and then scroll down to June 11th and 12th. Here's what Amy had to say about why she wrote this book:

I’m a syndicated advice columnist, 'Ask Amy', and by far the most common question I’m asked when people meet me is "How do you know what to say to people?" People are understandably curious about my qualifications to tell others what they should do.

My book is the answer to the question of how I know what I know. It tells the lessons of a life spent watching, doing, and learning from my own mistakes - and I’ve made plenty of those. I didn’t go to school to become an advice columnist (I was an English major), but I have been well-schooled in the fields of relationships, marriage, divorce, and raising my daughter Emily as a single mom. I’ve been in debt and clawed my way out. I’ve picked up and moved households several times. I have been on too many bad blind dates.

Fortunately for me, I haven’t had to take my winding journey alone. Along with my daughter Emily, I am blessed to be from a large family of funny, inspiring, and opinionated women. These are the women Emily christened the "Mighty Queens," and these are the people who helped teach me what I know.

Rather than write an "advicey" book, I decided to tell my own story. In the course of writing the book, I returned to live in my little home town of Freeville, New York. After living in London, New York, Washington DC and then Chicago, coming home to a village of 458 people has been an adjustment and a joy.

This week Amy is celebrating the release of the paperback edition of The Mighty Queens Of FReeville. Over the past few months she has been traveling around, capturing real life stories that highlight Second Chances, a major theme of her book.

From book club parties to libraries, book stores, auditoriums and church basements, women are gathering to draw strength from each other and share their stories.

On Amy's new website, MySecondChanceStories.com, you can join the virtual hometown community, watch inspiring interviews by Amy, browse book club discussion questions, view photos and "bring Amy to your hometown" with live chat, podcasts and book signings. Go check it out - you'll be glad you did.

ReadingGroupGuides.com will be hosting a contest where book club members can tell their 'second chance' story in 100 words or less, and Amy will select readers to win a paperback copy of her book for their group.

If you need some encouragement in order to write your story, join our email list to the left of this post and download your complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned.

Women's History Month: Courage and Lessons Learned

Women who have been honored over the past years during Women's History Month all share one common trait - courage. The courage to try something new, to take a risk for what they believed in, to persist despite obstacles, to make a difference. Do you think of courage mainly in terms of men on the battlefield? The Encarta World English Dictionary defines courage more broadly, as: "the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action."

Women have shown courage over the years - valor away from the battlefield, as well as on it - in so many different venues. They have had the guts to march for civil rights - theirs and those of other minorities, - they have dared to dismantle the glass ceiling, they have acted heroically protecting the disenfranchised, they have bravely cared for the ill as well as for the needs of their families.

Marty Seligman and Chris Peterson include Courage as one of the 6 categories of character strengths they have classified in their study of Positive Psychology. They identify persistence, integrity and vitality as aspects of courage, in addition to bravery. In your own life, it's likely you can point to times you have stuck with a plan through difficulties - just like the little engine that could; how you have been honest in your relationships and assessments; the joie de vivre you felt when you were engaged and absorbed in flow. All of these are characteristics of courage you've demonstrated, possibly without even recognizing it.

Is there something you’ve wanted to do for a long time - enroll in a class, reconnect with an old friend, run a 5K? Make Women's History Month the time you take the first step. That’s courageous, in and of itself. We'd like to support and inspire you on your journey. For our new e-book, Courage and Lessons Learned, simply go to the box on the left where you can join our email list and receive the e-book free of charge. You'll receive an email confirmation and the link to downloading your own copy, in PDF format. Here's to the courage to begin re-writing your own history this month!

Women's History Month: Writing Women Back into History

To celebrate Women's History Month, do you want a quick history of the roles of women in shaping America in the last century?

In the early 20th century, women's suffrage became a hot political issue and strong women worked hard to achieve the vote. But by the 1950's, when Betty Freidan identified "the problem that has no name," many women had relinquished their power outside the home. The women's movement, beginning in the 1960's moved women to the forefront and revived their place as movers and shakers in society. And during the 1970's, with the focus on "her-story" as well as history, many universities began Women's Studies departments.

Politicians on all sides have embraced the proclamation honoring the role of women in America.

Yet there is still more to be done to fulfill the theme of Writing Women Back into History.

Women have excelled and been influential in all areas of society - the arts, politics, the professions, sports, you name it. Now is the time to acknowledge those contributions and give women the recognition we deserve. And lets remember to take those words to heart ourselves and take credit for each of our own accomplishments.

To help you identify your personal strengths, we have created an e-book to highlight tips you can apply as you write your own "her-story." Appreciate the wisdom you have gained as you move forward. Click on the button to the left to receive your free copy from Her Mentor Center of Courage and Lessons Learned and begin your own process of change.

Women's History Month: Honoring Women in March

Did you know that in 1987, the U.S. Congress declared March to be Women's History Month? Is this one of America's best-kept secrets?

Although women have contributed to society and culture throughout history, these gifts weren't recognized until 1911, when International Women's Day was first established in Europe to be celebrated on March 8th. Nearly a century later, even with Women's Studies departments a part of most universities, women's accomplishments are still not well represented in educational materials. So this year, the theme of Women's History Month is overcoming our invisibility by Writing Women Back into History. The emphasis is on encouraging historians and writers of textbooks to give appropriate credit to women who have played a significant role in society.

What about your own story? Are you writing a rich, fulfilling history yourself? Visit our blog this week for information about how to receive our new e-book - it gives you tips about drawing on your own strengths to develop the courage and resilience you need to create the life you want.

Joannie Rochette: Olympic Courage Despite Tragic Loss

Now that the winter Olympic Games are over, we can savor the memories of all the athletes who gave their best to a sport that they love. But one picture of courage and grace stands out from the rest.

Just hours after learning that her mother had died of a sudden massive heart attack, Canadian figure skater Joannie Rochette was back on the ice. One of the favorites to win an Olympic medal, she practiced her jumps over and over again while her father watched with tears in his eyes.

Joannie's fellow athletes concurred that she was doing the right thing by staying in the competition. They spoke about her inner strength, remarkable courage and determined attitude. Fans around the world appreciated that, with a heavy heart, she was facing the most difficult skates of her life. If, like Joannie Rochette, you are in shock or have been numbed by an unexpected loss, log on all week for tips that may help you begin to turn your upside down world right again.

Conquering Fear at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

Taking a lesson from the athletes of the winter Olympics and overcoming your own fears, remember, 'You can't score if you don't take a shot.'

Overcoming fear of pain. Downhill skier Lindsey Vonn severely bruised her shin during training last month and feared it might prevent her from competing in the Vancouver Olympics. But she gave it a try anyway, saying before the race, "It's tough…I know what I have to do. I know how to ski. It's just fighting the pain." And fight it she did, winning the gold medal in the women's downhill.

Afterwards, commenting on her efforts, she said, "Nothing comes for free." You may have your own pain - physical or emotional - to work through as you are pursuing your goals. Keep in mind the determination you need to succeed as you struggle to prevail.

Overcoming fear of pleasure. Lindsey Jacobellis skid off course in the snowboard cross semi-finals, once more loosing any chance at a medal. After first feeling frustrated, she told reporters of her thoughts, "I still can have fun in some way. I just felt like doing a nice, fun truck-driver grab, that's the spirit that it is."

Other competitive snowboarders agreed with her attitude. Nate Holland commented, "It's not always about winning. It's about fun, style, showing your stuff." And Nick Baumbartner explained, "it's not about the finish…It's all about the journey. It's all about taking the wild ride." So, even when you're in the midst of a competitive trial of your own, don't forget to enjoy the process - have fun and be playful.

Rely on your courage, endurance and sense of fair play as you meet your challenges and achieve success. You may not receive a gold medal but you can be a winner just the same.

Overcoming Fear at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

As the Olympic Games continue in Vancouver, today we focus on overcoming two basic fears - failure and success. Competitive Olympic athletes have fought them - and so can you.

Overcoming fear of failure. For some, failure signifies humiliation and the loss of self-esteem. But when the goal is to perform to the best of your ability, you can feel good about yourself even when you don't come in first place. As Coubertain stated in the Olympic creed, "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." Stay focused on your growth and the series of steps you take - not the outcome.

Canadian skier Alexandre Bilodeau personified this ideal as he envisioned his courageous brother as a role model - and won the gold medal in the men's moguls in the process.

Overcoming fear of success. Are you stopped in your tracks by thoughts about what might happen once you actually achieve a victory? Do you think you will be hurt by the high expectations of others after your triumph? Believing you must perform perfectly sometimes stands in the way of achieving your goal.

U. S. figure skater Evan Lysacek had to deal with this stress at the Olympics, admitting, "I did have some extra pressure coming in as the reigning world champion." He took the chance for additional success at the Games and skated with passion and skill, winning the gold medal and savoring the experience.

Cheers for Captain Phillips and his Rescuers

We were thankful and joyous on Sunday to learn of the successful rescue of Richard Phillips, captain of the Maersk Alabama, a commercial ship bringing much-needed food and supplies to Africa. Capt. Phillips acted heroically when his ship was attacked by Somali pirates five days ago, surrendering himself as a hostage while protecting the crew from a similar fate. President Obama noted that Captain Phillips' demonstration of courage was "a model for all Americans." We certainly do join in admiring his unique combination of integrity, professional training and bravery.

Back on the USS Bainbridge, with Commander Frank Castellano, Capt. Phillips was quick to give credit to his rescuers, U.S. Navy Seals, saying, "I'm just the byline. The real heroes are the Navy, the Seals, those who have brought me home." The admirable behavior of many throughout this ordeal made the daring rescue possible: Capt. Phillips himself, the Navy Seals, Cmdr. Castellano, the officers and crew of the Alabama, the other U.S. Navy personnel and ships coming to aid in the rescue efforts. We wonder, what gives someone the strength to act as selflessly as Capt. Phillips did? His merchant marine training and position as a leader certainly played a large role, yet his actions also seem to reflect a deep personal commitment to his fellow man. We salute you, Captain Phillips, and welcome you home.

Earlier this year, we were awed by another hero, Captain Sullenberger, who landed his severely damaged plane in the Hudson with no loss of life. Click on the title above to take you to www.HerMentorCenter.com and our article, Captain Sullenberger: Heroes and Lessons Learned, to help you develop tools you can use when facing your own difficult situations. And visit us here all week as we look at how to incorporate Capt. Phillips' heroism and his rescuers' successful techniques into your own lives.