Reaching Out

In America, we've received another blow to the gut as we are reminded of how lives can change in an instant. The horrific shootings in Aurora, Colorado cast a pale over what was meant to be an entertaining evening respite. Over the weekend, information flowed in from the media, putting individual faces on the victims and outlining many heroic actions of people attempting to shield others from harm and helping those who were already injured.

Ironically, one young woman who was killed, Jessica Ghawi, had earlier survived another shooting at a mall in Canada and had blogged about her experience at that time, I was shown how fragile life was on Saturday. I saw the terror on bystanders' faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we don't know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath. Her words are even more haunting now that she is dead.

 

As we face acts of senseless violence like these, we instinctively join together as a community to support one another. When it feels like our safety and security is threatened by an event like this, we seek a solid footing to ground us. We feel less overwhelmed and vulnerable when we experience the touch of another. 

You already know that, in caring for your own family, a hug and kiss can help reduce the pain – emotional and physical. And talking to those in your support system relieves some of your stress, anxiety and fear. So open up to your friends and family about your feelings and thoughts - they can validate your emotions and begin the healing process. And giving a helping hand to others does wonders - it provides aide to those in need and makes you feel useful too.

We may try to understand the reasons behind the attack in an attempt to gain more control over any future chaos. But while so-called pundits will offer explanations about the perpetrator, we really don't yet know what motivated him to conceive of and execute such a terrible plan. What we do know is that reaching out to comfort others in pain and to ask friends and family for support ourselves when we need it creates a resilient, caring community for all of us.

When those under stress join together to sustain each other, we all benefit. Through sharing our common concerns and life experiences we gain a sense of camaraderie, understanding and acceptance. Our mutual support helps diminish the feelings of isolation, anxiety and helplessness and brings a sense of control back into our lives.

In the future we can reflect on what this most recent terrible shooting means to our society but in the meantime, let's join hands with others, empowering us all, and declare our humanity and solidarity with the good in our world.

Conquering Fear at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

Taking a lesson from the athletes of the winter Olympics and overcoming your own fears, remember, 'You can't score if you don't take a shot.'

Overcoming fear of pain. Downhill skier Lindsey Vonn severely bruised her shin during training last month and feared it might prevent her from competing in the Vancouver Olympics. But she gave it a try anyway, saying before the race, "It's tough…I know what I have to do. I know how to ski. It's just fighting the pain." And fight it she did, winning the gold medal in the women's downhill.

Afterwards, commenting on her efforts, she said, "Nothing comes for free." You may have your own pain - physical or emotional - to work through as you are pursuing your goals. Keep in mind the determination you need to succeed as you struggle to prevail.

Overcoming fear of pleasure. Lindsey Jacobellis skid off course in the snowboard cross semi-finals, once more loosing any chance at a medal. After first feeling frustrated, she told reporters of her thoughts, "I still can have fun in some way. I just felt like doing a nice, fun truck-driver grab, that's the spirit that it is."

Other competitive snowboarders agreed with her attitude. Nate Holland commented, "It's not always about winning. It's about fun, style, showing your stuff." And Nick Baumbartner explained, "it's not about the finish…It's all about the journey. It's all about taking the wild ride." So, even when you're in the midst of a competitive trial of your own, don't forget to enjoy the process - have fun and be playful.

Rely on your courage, endurance and sense of fair play as you meet your challenges and achieve success. You may not receive a gold medal but you can be a winner just the same.

Haitian Earthquake and the Loss of a Loved One

Days after a 7.0 earthquake devastated Port-au-Prince, the capital city of Haiti, family members battled for a proper burial of their loved ones. Time and again, tragedy followed moments of hope. Yet, despite the death and destruction, the people struggled to survive. And hundreds took to the streets, singing and chanting amid huge mounds of rubble - a clear sign of the resilience of the human spirit.

While not in such desperate circumstances, perhaps you too have suffered the death of a loved one. Although you may want the pain to go away, in order to heal you must experience the feelings of loss. First, try to create an inner resource that calms you. Imagine a caring person in your life who comforts you when you're hurting - you don’t have to be totally alone with these feelings.

If your life seems unnaturally quiet, seek out the support of family and friends as you move into this next part of your life. Take your time and don't be rushed by others. You know yourself best. Eventually you'll, once again, do the things you love.

Free yourself from a negative outlook. Although you can't change what has happened, you can have some control over how you handle it. Face your uncertainty with the most positive attitude you can muster. You may be feeling angry, sad or afraid of what is to come. Recognize that your reactions are normal and common. Face them directly as you work through your feelings.

You can share your experiences with our readers by clicking on 'Comments' at the bottom of this post. And join us tomorrow - we'll have more ideas that can help you begin to heal.