Learning to Flourish

Now that the kids are back in school and their homework is starting, we've got some news about a book you might like to read yourself. The field of Positive Psychology - with its emphasis on creating a meaningful, healthy life - is especially important to us here at NourishingRelationships. Recently a pillar in the field, as well as a friend and mentor, Dr. Marty Seligman, enlarged on his work with Authentic Happiness and established a revision of his theory in his new book, Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.


In his revised theory, Seligman has added two more elements to his original three constructs that make up a life well-lived. All five, each with the support of essential character strengths and virtues, come together to create well-being. He uses the mnemonic PERMA to stand for these 5 components of thriving: Positive Emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning and Purpose, Achievement. Lets take a look at each of these to see how they might relate to you:

Positive Emotions involve pleasure and enjoyment, often during a satisfying sensory experience. You may feel a positive emotion while eating a delicious meal, hearing a beautiful symphony, walking on the beach, sharing a hug with your grandchild. Days full of these positive emotions make up what Seligman terms a pleasant life.

Engagement comes with flow, the experience of being so involved in an activity that you lose track of time and place. During this type of total absorption you feel at one with what you are doing. You may be fortunate to experience flow from your work or a hobby that you love. This type of immersion Seligman has labeled an engaged life.

Positive Relationships are necessary for well-being and therefore comprise one of the two new additions to Seligman's theory of thriving. Here on our blog and at our website, HerMentorCenter.com, we give practical tips to develop and maintain positive relationships with your family. When the pressure rises from caring for growing children and aging parents, the deep relationships you have built with a significant other and close friends can help buffer your stress and enhance your well-being.

Meaning and Purpose entail a commitment to something larger than yourself - the circle can include family, community, country, humanity, spiritual guidance. You may be involved in volunteer activities that bring deep satisfaction and the recognition that you can make a difference in repairing the world. Seligman has described this as a meaningful life.

Accomplishment is the second addition in this revised theory and the final tenet of well-being. Striving to achieve a goal strictly for its own sake can motivate a determined person, using her talents, to overcome difficulties. And the sense of triumph that comes from mastery over a challenging test is priceless.

Will these Positive Psychology tidbits encourage you to enjoy your own learning experience as the new school year begins? Knowing more about the constructs of well-being can help you decide how to focus your personal and family life. We hope our efforts together can be the driving force for you to thrive as you live a pleasant and engaged life, connected to others, complete with meaningful and purposeful accomplishments. What could be better?

Susan Boyle: A Role Model

Remember Susan Boyle, the Scottish T.V. sensation from Britain's Got Talent? She was middle-aged, shy, portly, nonthreatening - the classic underdog. Although Boyle performed well in the final competition, she didn't win. And afterwards she was hospitalized with emotional exhaustion. Yet she came out the other end with her sense of humor intact and more confident.



You can take a lesson from Susan Boyle. Focus on your strengths that can lead to success. Look for a role model who inspires you and begin to see yourself from a different perspective. And relax as you let your creativity run wild.

There may be stumbling blocks along the way, but just keep going. Focus inward and don't be swayed by the attitude of others. Pay attention only to what you're trying to accomplish. And continue to move forward on your own steam.

Here's a way you may be able to follow your dreams. Avon Voices is conducting a singing talent search - inviting you to join a global movement that unites and inspires through the universal language of music. Women around the world are making their voices count by telling their stories, sharing their dreams, and showcasing their talents.

Through February 13, 2011, you can sing out on a 30-second video clip from the approved song list at Avon Voices. The finalists will be eligible for professional coaching, Avon makeovers and studio time for performance videos.

The Avon Foundation for Women was founded in 1955 to improve the lives of women. Avon global philanthropy has donated more than $800 million in more than 50 countries for causes most important to women, including breast cancer research and efforts to end domestic violence.

Want to discover effective tips to help you as your family in flux and you change? Download a complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned: Reaching Your Goals, and receive a free monthly newsletter, Stepping Stones, by signing our email list to the left of this post.

Susan Boyle Found her Voice, Literally - how can you?

Susan Boyle, the T.V. sensation from Britain has Talent, was shy, portly, middle-aged, nonthreatening - the classic underdog. It happens to lots of people all the time. Who hasn't been influenced by early memories of feeling misrepresented or misunderstood? Perhaps you can personally relate to that.

Boyle performed well in the final competition - but didn't win. And afterwards she was hospitalized with emotional exhaustion. But she came out the other end with her sense of humor intact and even more confident.

Take a lesson from Susan Boyle.



Focus on your values and strengths that can lead to personal success.
Look for a role model whose character inspires you to follow your dreams.
Let your creativity run wild and see yourself from a different perspective.
Begin the process of change and your positive experiences will provide the incentive to continue.

You may find there's stumbling blocks along the way, but keep going. Focus inward and don't be swayed by the attitude of others. Pay attention only to what you're trying to accomplish. And continue to access the internal strength and confidence to move forward on your own steam.

Want more information to help you get started? Clicking on the title of this post will take you to HerMentorCenter.com and an article about Tim Russert as a role model for positive character traits.