Diverse Women

Visiting the Veterans Cemetery yesterday to honor our brave servicemen and women, I was struck by the diversity of the names on the graves. Men and women from all kinds of backgrounds had served and died together through the years and are forever joined together in this burial ground. While we continue to struggle today with enriching our country by such diversity - ethnic, gender, religious, social, economic - our troops have already learned that they can count on each other, no matter what their origins are. Nowhere is the view of the United States as a melting pot - or tossed salad - more visible than at a veterans' cemetery.

This inclusion of varied personal circumstances and experiences is reflected in the news today. Judge Sonia Sotomayor has been chosen by President Obama to replace Justice David Souter on the Supreme Court. If confirmed by Congress, she will become the third female justice chosen to serve on the Court, the second woman on the current Court. Now an Appeals Court judge, Sotomayor will be the first justice of Hispanic descent, having a Puerto Rican heritage. Raised by a widowed mother, her credentials include an undergraduate degree from Princeton and a law degree from Yale. Her nomination signals an emphasis on including qualified minorities in our nation's structure.

As a woman, maybe even a Sandwiched Boomer, facing your own challenges on a daily basis, caring for aging parents and growing children, what message does her nomination send? Can you too draw on your strengths as you struggle to make your personal mark? Let us hear from you, at HerMentorCenter.com or here at NourishingRelationships.blogspot.com, about what this nomination means to you.

Today other unique women with different backgrounds are also in the news - over the weekend, Susan Boyle made it to the finals of the "Britain's Got Talent" competition, singing "Memories" from Cats and Amelia Earhart, brought to life by Amy Adams, soared in "Night at the Museum," which was number one at the box office. Can you use these women as your role models as you develop the resilience to thrive after facing your own challenges and difficulties? To get some tips about how to do just this, click on the title above to take you to our article on Susan Boyle.

Teens Helping Each Other

We heard from a reader about a website that supports teen action. Check out www.dosomething.org/abuse, to see a video that's a response by teenagers to the Rihanna/Chris Brown problem.

The media continues to be on top of this issue and a spokeswoman on TV earlier this week sent a clear message to young people - this is about you and you need to separate the issue from the celebrities - look at the bigger picture. Violence is not normal or acceptable and you have to take responsibility for yourself.

As members of the sandwich generation, you've got your hands full. But take the time to turn your kids on to the website. Watch the video with them. Oprah Winfrey and president Obama are both strong advocates for informing and educating our youth. Click on the title above to read an article about Winfrey's support of Obama.

If your growing children are going through a rough time, help them recognize the value of support from others. Talking to friends and family can clarify their needs as they work through their feelings. Listening to a second or third objective opinion will provide them with further insight, direction and encouragement.

Respect their Boundaries

Follow these tips to develop a bond with your son-in-law that will grow through the years. As an accepted mother-in-law, you can enjoy the connections with your new family member.

Avoid hot button issues like finances, religious observances, and work/home responsibilities. By taking sides, you make it harder for the newlyweds to sort out these issues for themselves. When you have expectations that are not shared by them, recognize that now it’s their turn to make this type of decision.

Be available to help when asked but don't intrude. As the new couple settles into their routine and lifestyle, they may ask for your help or support. Pitch in and be responsive to their needs when you can, but don't overstep the boundaries.

Find support from your spouse and friends. When you’re frustrated, share with others who will understand what you’re going through and use them as a sounding board. When all else fails, laugh together as inductees in the sisterhood of mothers-in-law.

Click on the title above to take you to our article, Boomer Women and Friendship: The Gift You Give Yourself for some ideas about how your friends can help you get through this challenge - and lots of other ones.

These tips can help you build the kind of relationship with your son-in-law that Marian Robinson has with President Obama. He and Michelle respect her and trust her to help with their children. Embrace your new role of mother-in-law. You, too, have the power to make this an enriching chapter for everyone in the family.

And please join us tomorrow as we welcome therapists Stephen James and David Thomas to discuss their book, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys.

Obama's Mother-in-law is Moving In

In this administration, with such a protective mom in chief, one major focus on the home-front will be the first daughters. The goal of these devoted parents is to help the girls find their way in their new environment. And Michelle's mom is moving in for now, to provide a constant presence and keep the girls grounded. When asked about the relationship with his mother-in-law, the president, among other things, said: "I don't tell my mother-in-law what to do." Doesn't it sound like our new president is off to a really good start?

What follows are some ideas that may help you and your family:

Look at your situation and decide what works for you. If you need some time by yourself, be sure to fit that into your plans. When you want to reconnect with your teenagers, plan outings that will appeal to both of you. If your parents are up to it, invite them on a family vacation. Your children will benefit from spending quality time with their grandparents. And it will give you free time and the chance for you and your partner to catch up without distractions.

Do what is necessary to maintain familiarity and continuity. If you nurture your family and stabilize their environment, they will feel more secure. The structure in their lives and the support you give them will relieve feelings of anxiety or stress. Children are resilient and, as you model positive thinking and hope, they will thrive. The rewards can be immeasurable for the whole family.

For additional tips, click on the title of this post and read our article, From Baby Boomer to Mother-in-Law: How to Play Your New Role.

President Barack Obama

Despite early frigid temperatures, a mid-day sun warmed the crowd of more than two million who came to celebrate the inauguration of Barack Obama as America's 44th president. He took the reins of power in a high-noon ceremony amid economic worries and high expectations.

Obama's inauguration represents a time of renewal and optimism. In his speech, he said the nation must choose "hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord" to overcome the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

His election was cheered around the world as a sign that America will be more embracing. But he warned, "To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy." And "To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

He wove a thread of personal responsibility and accountability through the address. "Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices." He said that all Americans have roles in rebuilding the nation by renewing the traditions of hard work, honesty and fair play, tolerance, loyalty and patriotism.

The crowd in the National Mall, including a lot of multi-generational families watched a longheld dream come true. And if today's enthusiasm is any indication of what's to come, it looks like the American spirit is strong.