Helping Kids Feel Secure

The summer got away from us – one morning our grandsons were pitching sand balls into the lake, the next afternoon they were preparing their backpacks for school. Whereas Monday’s blog post focused on kids’ stress that comes from media coverage of trauma, there are lots of other situations that can make kids feel anxious – like the first day of school.

Kids respond differently and the impact of any stressor depends on their personality, maturity, and coping mechanisms. Some have trouble explaining how they feel so it’s not always obvious, although tears, withdrawal or irritability are often clues. The behavior of others might not change yet they feel nervous or scared. And stress can affect physical wellbeing, with exacerbation of asthma, stomachaches or sleep disturbances.

What can you do to help?

Often the best predictor of how children manage is how well their parents cope with stress. They are often sensitive and struggle to understand their reactions. They may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, too big to admit they’re worried. Encourage them to talk about how they feel and not keep bad thoughts inside.

Their relationships matter. They feel better about themselves when they are getting along well with you. And kids who do not have close friendships are at higher risk for developing stress-related problems. No matter how busy their schedule, kids of all ages need time to play with others and relax. Play helps them learn about their world, explore ideas and soothe themselves.

Kids need support, but also space to work things out. You can’t walk a tightrope for them. Sometimes they need to fall, feel disappointment, and learn from their mistakes. Parents have to acknowledge their own anxiety and find the courage to step back. Remember that they thrive best in an environment that is reliable, consistent, and non-interfering. Their job is to grow, yours is to control worry so that it doesn't get in the way as they move toward autonomy.

Kids need support, but also space to work things ourow, yours is to control worry so that it doesn't get in the way as they move toward autonomy.y.y move toward autonomy.

Spending Time in Nature makes you Nicer

Research findings indicate that those who feel a strong connection to nature have a more caring attitude toward others.
Participants in the study were asked to rate the importance of life goals. Those exposed to scenes in nature placed a higher value on connectedness and community as well as a lower value on ideals that were more self-oriented.

So why would immersion in nature instill feelings of selflessness? According to the researchers, it allows you to follow your interests and gives you an enhanced sense of personal autonomy. Feeling more relaxed, you may experience a decrease in your stress level.

If being at one with nature makes you feel better, it makes sense that it could lead to your being more emotionally available to others.

As Sandwiched Boomers are you facing daily pressures with parents growing older and children growing up? Try your own experiment. See how a walk in the park or a hike in the hills impacts you and your relationships. And let us know the results.