A remark on last week's post was that a good relationship needs to be nurtured. What follows are the final comments from our mens' poll - and they agree.

Change has probably been an integral part of your marriage - in the roles you each play and in the way you relate to each other. Tom has been able to focus on the changing realities of his situation. “It’s a matter of accepting what is, rather than what you would like it to be. It’s not easy and I feel I am always working toward that goal. Our lives have had a series of ups and downs - we both try to be flexible and accept what is. Usually we succeed and are able to move on.”

Steve, retired for several years, summed up his marriage this way: “We began as husband and wife in a more traditional relationship. Overall, I was the noisemaker and she was the nest-maker. Now I’m more involved around the house – I help with laundry, do the dishes. We’re a team and our roles interchange, depending on who is interested or available. I have learned a lot but changed only a little. I try to be less temperamental, more compromising, more giving. When I was working, I used to be more focused on only myself. Now I’m paying attention to me, her and us - and still learning new things about all three.”

What are you and your partner doing to keep the sparks flying?