Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Mother's Day: Tips for Sandwiched Boomers Challenged by a Difficult Mother

Are you dreading Mother's Day again this year and worrying about what to do for your mom? You may never have been close, or are now estranged and feeling angry. Have you cut the mother-daughter ties and ignore the day, yet remain resentful and sad? Or do you just pretend everything is OK and give her a gift anyway? Even though the media lead us to believe that all mothers deserve flowers and chocolates, if you don't have a good relationship, this 'special' day can be agonizing.

The truth is not all mothers are lovable - some are hurtful, critical, overly controlling and even destructive. Maybe your mother suffers from alcohol or drug dependency or is narcissistic , has been physically abusive or emotionally neglectful. You may be fed up with trying to win her approval and be accepted for who you are. Or sick and tired of feeling guilty and blaming yourself for the problems in the relationship. This week we'll be sharing some ideas that can help you take better care of yourself, on Mother's Day and throughout the year.
Angry woman gesturing in studio, close-up, elevated view
Let go of the dream of having a loving mother and a relationship that is emotionally healthy. It's not easy to face the fact that your mom is self absorbed and has serious problems - or to fully acknowledge your pain in not having a 'good enough' mother. Once and for all, stand up and step back. Now is the time to shift the focus away from her. And begin to protect, nurture and mother yourself.

Whether or not you're a sandwiched boomer, you may be challenged by your relationship with a difficult mother. Join us again tomorrow for more practical tips to help you break free from the pain of your past. Need help in mustering the courage? Look to the left of this post and join the email list - you can download a complimentary ebook, Courage and Lessons Learned and free newsletter, Stepping Stones.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Peggy said...

I found this blog very supportive. I have been helping my mom in another state transition from the home she lived in for 43 years to an assisted living center. What I've found is that that the experience is SO RICH with opportunities for me to learn about myself and how I choose to respond from love, or react from fear.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Nourishing Relationships said...

Thanks, Peggy! What you're going through with your Mom right now is one of the most challenging transitions. And you're absolutely right - we have lots of choices in how to handle the difficult position you find yourself in right now. Keep us posted on how you're doing. Your wisdom can be a great support for other readers.

10:46 PM  
Anonymous flora said...

I think a bouquet of flower can be a good gift for every kinds of Mom.

6:37 AM  

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