There were several comments on last week's interview with Carol O'Dell, where she talked about caring for her mother in her final years. One reader wrote about the conflict that comes from the relationship with a mother who was always difficult.
Children raised in a home where there was little nurturing often resent the responsibility of taking care of their parents in their later years. Some decide not to get involved at all while others help out the best they can by finding resources in the community or seeking out other family members. Without early bonding and the development of basic trust, these adult children may not have the inner resources or skills to do the caretaking job well. Sometimes they are still learning how to love and nurture themselves. This kind of lifelong emotional struggle can add on one more layer of distress for the Sandwich Generation.
Let us know how you're dealing with the challenges of parents who are getting older and need more support.
Labels: Baby Boomers, Carol O'Dell, eldercare, Sandwich Generation
2 Comments:
I'm an only child with a young family and my mother is a manic depressive who refuses to take her medication. Lately I get calls almost daily from her apartment manager with one crisis or another. My father died when I was 12 and my mother has had emotional problems as far back as I can remember. I feel badly for her but am not prepared to put the quality of my family life on the line. Right now I'm troubls shooting but I know it won't be long before a more organized plan is necessary.
My 83 yr old mother is a recovering alcoholic who was really a dry drunk for years.
She had had a health scare about 3 years ago and her attitude really changed from negative to positive. But it is still hard for me and the feelings I have carried of the neglect and abuse I went through as a child.
I try not to focus on what she did or didnt do but on what I can do for myself.
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