Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Your relationship with your mom is likely to be complex and full of twists and turns, evolving over the years as you change. One Sandwiched Boomer ruminates about how she transformed her connections with her mother.

When Agnes was a teenager, she felt that her strong mother was trying to control her. She looked forward to getting out from under her thumb and moved across the country when she married and raised her own family. They maintained their connections but at a distance.

As her children matured, so did Agnes. She began to see her mom as a person, not just as her Mother. Agnes recognized that she admired and respected many of her mother’s characteristics - her sense of responsibility, her independence, her humor, her common sense. Warily, Agnes began to approach her mother more and more as an individual. As she did, she was able to reach out to her and forgive her mother for the way she had treated her before.

Asked about her aging mom's final years, Agnes related, "After she had a stroke, I moved her into our home. She lived with our family until she died. It was hard on everyone but we all became closer and I began to understand her even better. I wouldn't trade that year for anything."

As you in the Sandwiched Generation continue to build bonds with your mother, savor these moments. Reflect on your feelings from the past and cultivate rich memories now to sustain you in the future.

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