Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Living with Boomerang Kids

As we start the New Year, we wrap up this week's blogs highlighting our suggestions in the article on boomerang kids. Today we hear from a sampling of the parents and kids who commented that they have made the situation work for everyone.

A parent, Ladytechie, writes, "I share an apartment with a grown son. Note the share. We split the bills. I cook dinner (by choice, it's as much hobby with me as necessity), he does all the heavy cleaning, our bedrooms are off-limits to each other. Generally we do keep each other posted on our where-abouts. Both of us have good jobs - it came about because we both found ourselves single, and somewhat at loose ends, and not real happy living alone. It works, primarily because we both recognize that the other is an adult. I think that's the key, and it's much harder to do than one would expect."

Angel tells her side of the story. "I'm 32 and am currently living with my parents until I can find an apartment. If not for my parents, I would have been homeless after my divorce. I thank them every day, with words and contributions to the household budget and chores. Living with my parents is more fun than living with any roommate and is certainly more fun than living alone. I pay my way and do my share. They never have to give me money and they don't change any of their plans on my behalf. In fact, they like to include me in their plans and I often say no so they can have some time together. I shouldn't be made to feel like I'm not a 'real adult' or a 'responsible adult' because I share a home with my mom and dad rather than sharing one with a random stranger who answered an ad in the newspaper. I have been given the chance to get to know them as people rather than just parents. I truly believe that if there is mutual respect, adult children moving back home can be a pleasant and even wonderful experience."

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