Kids of Michael Jackson: Still Sad but Doing OK

At the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, his children are likely feeling the sadness that is typical for all of us when we lose someone we love. In her book, On Death and Dying, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross first identified the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, finally, acceptance.

Working through these feelings is easier with the support of family. And it's evident, in recent comments made by Katherine and Germaine, that the Jackson family is rallying around the children. 'They're spending time with their cousins and that family love will keep them going.'

If you're caring for your grandkids under stressful circumstances, what follows are ideas to consider as you nurture them and yourself:

It is necessary to mourn what you have lost. In divorce, it may be the dreams you had for the future. In death, the sadness about not having the loved one as a part of your life. As you work to communicate openly, all of you can feel safe enough to talk and grieve together.

Accept the changes in the family, whatever they are, even if you're in the crossfire. Validate the children's feelings and withhold blame regarding their parents. While you're showing support, try not to take a particular side or excuse bad behavior. Remember that your primary concern here is to attend to the immediate concerns and needs of the children.

Protect the children from the comments of others. Whether the absent parent's behavior stemmed from a serious emotional problem or a hunger deep inside, now you can shield the children from its impact. Focus on your relationship with them and build trust so that they'll feel more accepted, nurtured and confident.

You may want to watch this Fox News report on the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. Need more information about positive role models as you reach for your goals as a grandparent? Sign our email list to the left of this post and download a free ebook, "Courage and Lessons Learned."

Michael Jackson: The Mourning Process

Michael Jackson's children are likely going through a mourning process that is typical for all of us when we lose someone we love. In her book, On Death and Dying, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross first identified the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Working through these feelings that accompany loss is easier with the support of family and friends. This is evidenced in recent comments by Janet Jackson about her niece speaking at her father's memorial: "I was really proud ... People said to me that Michael's daughter speaking really gave them a sense of how he was as a father, in her words. Paris is incredibly smart; they are all so smart. She's a sweet girl. The kids are doing well. They're with all their cousins; that family love will keep them going."



Like Michael Jackson's children, you may be struggling emotionally as the result of a family loss. Realize that mourning is a way to express your feelings of grief. Perhaps you're experiencing feelings of sadness about not having that parent or child as a part of your life. You may need to let go of the dreams you had for the future. By keeping the lines of communication open, you and your family can support each other. And feel safe enough to talk about the loved one who died and what you're going through.

Click on the title of this post to read about Nadia Suleman, her octuplets and how to deal with a cascade of unfamiliar emotions. And while you're at HerMentorCenter.com, browse other articles that may be helpful. Go to the Home Page menu - you'll find lots of information under 'Nourishing Relationships.'