Michael Jackson: The Mourning Process

Michael Jackson's children are likely going through a mourning process that is typical for all of us when we lose someone we love. In her book, On Death and Dying, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross first identified the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Working through these feelings that accompany loss is easier with the support of family and friends. This is evidenced in recent comments by Janet Jackson about her niece speaking at her father's memorial: "I was really proud ... People said to me that Michael's daughter speaking really gave them a sense of how he was as a father, in her words. Paris is incredibly smart; they are all so smart. She's a sweet girl. The kids are doing well. They're with all their cousins; that family love will keep them going."



Like Michael Jackson's children, you may be struggling emotionally as the result of a family loss. Realize that mourning is a way to express your feelings of grief. Perhaps you're experiencing feelings of sadness about not having that parent or child as a part of your life. You may need to let go of the dreams you had for the future. By keeping the lines of communication open, you and your family can support each other. And feel safe enough to talk about the loved one who died and what you're going through.

Click on the title of this post to read about Nadia Suleman, her octuplets and how to deal with a cascade of unfamiliar emotions. And while you're at HerMentorCenter.com, browse other articles that may be helpful. Go to the Home Page menu - you'll find lots of information under 'Nourishing Relationships.'

Nadya Suleman and New Possibilities

The situation may be changing for Nadya Suleman. Apparently her father is buying a house where she and her family will move. And she'll be getting help to raise her octuplets. Television's Dr. Phil McGraw said that Suleman will accept help from Angels in Waiting - a nonprofit volunteer group that offers childcare.

Public sentiment about the birth took a sharp turn when it was learned that all 14 of Suleman's children were conceived through in vitro fertilization, and that she is unemployed and single.

The road ahead will be difficult for Suleman and likely all of her children. There will be developmental, emotional, physical and financial needs that she will be hard pressed to meet. A final reminder of the potential consequences of a decision that is not well thought out:

If your bad feelings stem from a hunger inside that needs to be satisfied or a serious emotional problem, take the time to examine your own life. That will give you the chance to focus on greater personal awareness and your own emotional growth without jeopardizing the wellbeing of others.

This complex situation has sparked so much public attention. Everyone has been weighing in - why not you?

Where Nadya Suleman Can Find Support

All Nadya Suleman ever wanted was to be a mom: "I longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up.” She thinks that motherhood cured her depression. But child birth should not be used as a form of self- medication.

Knowledge is power. Use it to your advantage. Get information about ways to deal with how you're feeling - explore the Internet or the self-help section of bookstores. Think about the natural and logical consequences of the decisions you are making. Talk about how you are feeling with friends and family whose opinions you respect.

Support is a valuable tool - connect often. Accept the changes in your family, whatever they are, even if you feel caught in the crossfire. Find a class or workshop through your local university extension program or mental health center. Join an ongoing group or attend a weekend retreat to share concerns and gain new perspective.

You may be confused about what to do next. Don't be afraid to seek out a parenting coach or a family therapist. Although you may see yourself as a natural, this is a unique situation. Learning skills and techniques from experts can make a big difference and talking with someone outside of the family about your concerns and frustrations can be a lifesaver.

Sandwiched Boomers, where do you turn when you need some help?

Suleman Preparing Octuplets to Leave Hospital

It seems as if the first of Nadya Suleman's octuplets will soon be discharged from the hospital. This is when she needs to hone her de-stressing skills. As Sandwiched Boomers, your plate must be full as well. Click on the title of this post to read an article on Nourishing the Sandwich that is You. And what follows are some tips that will help you cope:

Honor your body by understanding what makes you feel better, both physically and emotionally. Pay attention to your exercise routine, what you eat, your sleeping habits and what gives you pleasure. Reduce the situations that cause stress and increase the ones that make you feel more relaxed or alive.

Forgive others who are important to you for some past wrongdoing. Watch their reaction and see how that makes you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to totally forget about it. If you had a dysfunctional upbringing, try to understand the problems it is causing you now. Learn a lesson from the situation and move on, especially for your own good.

Practice what you know about resiliency. Recognize how your character strengths support what you do. Integrate your core values and personal ideals into how you view the world. Notice the effect your attitudes and behavior have on other people in your life. Release tension through laughter and watch yourself begin to bounce back.

What's the Story with Nadya Suleman?

You're Sandwiched Boomers with opinions that matter. Do you want to weigh in on the challenges that Nadya Suleman is facing? She's the 33 year old unemployed single mother who, last month, gave birth to octuplets conceived through in vitro fertilization.

Nadya grew up as an only child and had always dreamed of having a large family. Reporters, pundits and bloggers have called her irresponsible and selfish, as she already has six children under the age of seven at home. They say it takes more than love to care for eight babies, especially if you don't have a clear source of income or enough support to help raise them.

Suleman called her childhood dysfunctional and said she didn't have much control over her environment. But she's not alone. Almost everyone has some identity issues or feelings of powerlessness growing up.

This week we'll focus on tips that can help you take better care of your emotional self. If you want to read an article on www.HerMentorCenter.com about How to Turn a Crisis into a Challenge, click on the title above. And tune in tomorrow.