Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A Sandwiched Boomer wrote on yesterday's comments that she's planning to move her aging mother in with the family as a way to take better care of both of them - more loving arms for mom, although some loss of independence, and less stress on herself as she'll be right there when her mom's not doing well.

Another reader discussed the plans she and her husband have made for themselves because they don't have children to help care for them - that is, moving to another country where they can afford to hire caregivers.

Both of these women are faced with making challenging and emotional decisions, despite how different they are. For years we have been working with clients in our practices, struggling with issues that involve their aging parents. But it was still a shock when the problems that accompany aging hit home in a personal way with our own parents - it looks a whole lot different close up.

Our advice is to do your homework sooner rather than later, even if your parents are still healthy and vital. If this is an uncomfortable subject to broach, start slow and ease into it. Your parents deserve to be included in making decisions that directly affect their lives. Know that information is power. And if this situation is not personal for you today, it will be some day.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the past six weeks I've been dividing my time between my home and wherever my mom has been, first the hospital and then her apartment. This week is the first time in months I've been able to attend my caregivers' support group. Although no one had heard about Sandwich Generation month all were thrilled that we're getting some recognition.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My sister and I moved our Dad from Florida to California to be near us for the last years of his life. There are so many precious memories that sustain my sister and me. After Dad had major surgery we hired a skilled caregiver for 10 hours a day. The doctor we found through the Visiting Physicians Association allowed all lab and x-ray services to be done at home. Dad often told the family how much he appreciated all we were doing for him. He passed away last year and our caregiver has become an extended family member. Without her help, the doctor's kindness and the support of family I don't know how I would have felt. Gloria

9:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you've opened my eyes to what's in my future. i'm going to take your advice and try to start that hard conversation with my mom.

10:57 PM  

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