Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Wrap-up of the Virtual Book Tour

Yesterday we interviewed Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer about her book, "Second Chance at Your Dream," for our Virtual Book Tour. She kicked off the comments by sharing a tip about energy psychology and self care:

Most of us are busy and need quick ways to release stress and tension. Here's one I'd like to invite you to use as often as needed today. When you notice a strong unhappy feeling or negative thought, treat it quickly by repeating a reminder phrase such as "I release……" while tapping several meridian 'acupoints,' which are where the eyebrow meets the nose, at the outer eye, below the eye, under the lip, at the collarbone and at the side of the hand. Each of these points relates to bone, connective tissue and your body's information messaging system.

Yoga Positions

A reader asked about the similarity between the yoga practice of deep breathing and what is taught in energy psychology.


Yoga is wonderful and I do some every day, but energy psychology is actually an approach to psychotherapy that utilizes the body's energy system - meridian acupoints, biofield and energy centers - to bring relief to emotional distress. It has proved to be highly effective in relieving trauma, both recent and past.

Another shared that journaling has helped her stay centered, on top of her feelings and tap into her creativity.


Thank you for sharing how you value writing your thoughts and feelings down. It's so important that we pay attention to our needs. Women are most often the family caregivers and it's all too easy to become distracted from the need to nurture ourselves so we CAN give to others.

One useful question for the beginning of the day is to ask what you really want for yourself today. At the end of the day, take stock and explore how you paid attention to your goal. While gently rubbing the mid-chest area, affirm: "I deeply and profoundly accept myself with all my gifts, talents and abilities."

Readers had questions about how to learn more about energy psychology and begin to apply it. "I am the poster woman for the sandwich generation and I like the idea of honoring myself. How do I find the time to do that?" And "If I have very little free time, what's the one best thing I can do to take care of my aging self?"


About having enough time to honor yourself, think of the reality that we have 5,000-8,000 thoughts an hour. If those thoughts (the inner self talk) are in any way self-depreciating, the body will feel that and respond by limiting gene expression and repressing immune function.

If you can change even 5 of those thoughts to those of self-appreciation, there will be a change. The human psyche is wired for growth, self-healing and joy. As we align with those energies, we shift our environments within and outside of ourselves.

Thank you for asking about what approach from energy psychology might be best for taking care of yourself with limited time. I suggest starting by taking note of inner self-talk which might give a clue to beliefs that may be limiting to you.

For example, telling oneself " I have very little time" could perpetuate a sense of never having enough time for anything and feeling anxious. In contrast, telling oneself, "I now take the time I need to release negativity" (as suggested in my earlier post with the tapping) may free up emotional energy.

I always encourage taking time to affirm yourself by gently holding the heart area and affirming, "with each breath I increase my sense of peace, with each breath I increase my vitality, with each breath I enhance my coping skills." Positive self-affirmations attract the desired qualities and allow them to resonate within.

One of Dorothea's loyal readers said:

I have shared your book with several friends and family - of all ages. I just want to put in a plug that your book, while aimed at the second half, is also helpful and can be quite useful for those in the "first half" as well. This book is a wealth of useful insight and information that can benefit anyone who is willing to apply it.


Thank you for spreading the good news about the book and with your friends of all ages. While the book is certainly for anyone, the needs of boomer women and people in the sandwich generation are especially challenging because of time pressures and juggling so many roles at once. Conscious self-care is essential and I would like to share as much as possible to ease others' burdens.

Readers, if you have a favorite book that you think others would enjoy, email us a brief description at We'll see if we can arrange a Virtual Book Tour and we'll definitley share the titles with all of you.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep on questing, asking and
receiving. It was a pleasure to meet some of you and to learn of your concerns. May your endeavors be blessed with warmth and the
generosity of spirit you showed!
Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer

2:05 PM  

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