Working Parents' Dilemma with Kids on Vacation

Are you already stressing about how to keep your kids busy while you're working and they're on summer break? Don't forget to count on their grandparents who always want to see more of them. And talk with friends who have the same issues and may want to swap one day a week.

Encourage reading. Talk with your kids and listen to what they have to say about their summer reading ideas. Reading is a great habit to nurture. Most public libraries support a reading program with some sort of positive end result if all the requirements are fulfilled. You can build structure by having your teens read to your younger children or even organize an informal neighborhood book club.



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Assign chores. How about having your kids help around the house with jobs that you don't have time for during the school year – clean out broken toys or box up outgrown school clothes. Have them run small errands or go to the corner grocery store. Let them keep the change and buy themselves a treat. They might like the independence and responsibility.

Limit Internet use. You may be tempted to use technology as a babysitter, but try to institute some tech free days. When kids have unsupervised access to media, it can be at the expense of their growth. Emerging research reveals that technology can short-circuit healthy development in socializing and learning.

If you have to spend a little money on your kids' activities, it's in everyone's best interests for a safe, fun environment and your peace of mind. A week of camp can build social skills and interests as well as character strengths - and provides a structured and enriching environment so you don't have to worry about what they're up to.

Your kids have their whole summer ahead of them - no schoolwork or having to wake up early. And you deserve to kick back some too. With the long warm summer nights, relax and enjoy spending some quality family time together.

How to Get Your Kids Unplugged from TV & Video Games

Even when it is clear what you want to do, how do you begin to separate your kids from their video games and TV? Can you turn their attention to other pursuits?

It's not a simple process, but you can start by talking about why it's important to reduce your kids' electronic screen time. Help them see that watching less TV is not a punishment, but rather an important part of their growth. Convince them to buy into the value of unplugging, and you can all brainstorm together about other stimulating activities.

If you are a Sandwiched Boomer, single parent or working mother, you're likely already stressed by all the responsibility and may be tempted to use television as a baby sitter.

Instead, encourage your children to help you while you are doing chores around the house - bring them into the kitchen to make dinner, let them fold their own laundry, create a game to see who can straighten up faster. Talk with your kids while you're doing your tasks and make them a part of the process.

Set aside time for them to play outside with their friends. Learn more about after school activities in which your kids can participate - at school, in your local community center, at the park. Check into summer reading competitions at your local library. Even with cutbacks due to the poor economic climate, you can find available creative and physical outlets.


Encourage your children to read instead of watching television or playing video games. With young children, read to them at night before bedtime. Think about how you can make reading more interactive and interesting for your older kids. Set an example - have a good book of your own handy so that you can sit down with them and read together. Help set up a children's book club for them and their friends.

You'll find some additional tips for creative activities with your family this summer on our website www.HerMentorCenter.com - feel free to explore it and let us know what's helpful to you. We welcome your comments, here on the blog and on our new Facebook fan page, Nourishing Family Relationships. Please let us know what's on your mind. And tune in later this week for more practical tips and strategies for success.

Wrap-up of the Virtual Book Tour

Yesterday we interviewed Dr. Dorothea Hover-Kramer about her book, "Second Chance at Your Dream," for our Virtual Book Tour. She kicked off the comments by sharing a tip about energy psychology and self care:

Most of us are busy and need quick ways to release stress and tension. Here's one I'd like to invite you to use as often as needed today. When you notice a strong unhappy feeling or negative thought, treat it quickly by repeating a reminder phrase such as "I release……" while tapping several meridian 'acupoints,' which are where the eyebrow meets the nose, at the outer eye, below the eye, under the lip, at the collarbone and at the side of the hand. Each of these points relates to bone, connective tissue and your body's information messaging system.



A reader asked about the similarity between the yoga practice of deep breathing and what is taught in energy psychology.

Dorothea:

Yoga is wonderful and I do some every day, but energy psychology is actually an approach to psychotherapy that utilizes the body's energy system - meridian acupoints, biofield and energy centers - to bring relief to emotional distress. It has proved to be highly effective in relieving trauma, both recent and past.

Another shared that journaling has helped her stay centered, on top of her feelings and tap into her creativity.

Dorothea:

Thank you for sharing how you value writing your thoughts and feelings down. It's so important that we pay attention to our needs. Women are most often the family caregivers and it's all too easy to become distracted from the need to nurture ourselves so we CAN give to others.

One useful question for the beginning of the day is to ask what you really want for yourself today. At the end of the day, take stock and explore how you paid attention to your goal. While gently rubbing the mid-chest area, affirm: "I deeply and profoundly accept myself with all my gifts, talents and abilities."

Readers had questions about how to learn more about energy psychology and begin to apply it. "I am the poster woman for the sandwich generation and I like the idea of honoring myself. How do I find the time to do that?" And "If I have very little free time, what's the one best thing I can do to take care of my aging self?"

Dorothea:

About having enough time to honor yourself, think of the reality that we have 5,000-8,000 thoughts an hour. If those thoughts (the inner self talk) are in any way self-depreciating, the body will feel that and respond by limiting gene expression and repressing immune function.

If you can change even 5 of those thoughts to those of self-appreciation, there will be a change. The human psyche is wired for growth, self-healing and joy. As we align with those energies, we shift our environments within and outside of ourselves.

Thank you for asking about what approach from energy psychology might be best for taking care of yourself with limited time. I suggest starting by taking note of inner self-talk which might give a clue to beliefs that may be limiting to you.

For example, telling oneself " I have very little time" could perpetuate a sense of never having enough time for anything and feeling anxious. In contrast, telling oneself, "I now take the time I need to release negativity" (as suggested in my earlier post with the tapping) may free up emotional energy.

I always encourage taking time to affirm yourself by gently holding the heart area and affirming, "with each breath I increase my sense of peace, with each breath I increase my vitality, with each breath I enhance my coping skills." Positive self-affirmations attract the desired qualities and allow them to resonate within.

One of Dorothea's loyal readers said:

I have shared your book with several friends and family - of all ages. I just want to put in a plug that your book, while aimed at the second half, is also helpful and can be quite useful for those in the "first half" as well. This book is a wealth of useful insight and information that can benefit anyone who is willing to apply it.

Dorothea:

Thank you for spreading the good news about the book and with your friends of all ages. While the book is certainly for anyone, the needs of boomer women and people in the sandwich generation are especially challenging because of time pressures and juggling so many roles at once. Conscious self-care is essential and I would like to share as much as possible to ease others' burdens.

Readers, if you have a favorite book that you think others would enjoy, email us a brief description at Mentors@HerMentorCenter.com. We'll see if we can arrange a Virtual Book Tour and we'll definitley share the titles with all of you.