Family Relationships

Join other women in the sandwich generation - share ideas and solutions as you learn to nourish family relationships without starving yourself.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Over 200 countries have participated in the Summer Olympic Games this year, most of them never expecting to win any medals. What draws them to this event? A sense of community, an appreciation of teamwork, an enthusiasm for excellence and a love of athletic competition. As the 2008 Games draw to a close in China, athletes from around the world have pursued their personal goals within these universal values.

The American Men's Basketball Team in Beijing personifies all of these Olympic ideals. Labeled the "Redeem Team," it is comprised of individual stars of the NBA, some MVP's, each making millions of in their day jobs during the regular season. On different teams in the U.S., they compete against each other, often "talking trash," and are used to being idolized in their home courts. Yet they agreed two years ago to practice together as a team with Coach Mike Krzyzewski. Coach K, legendary coach of the Duke Blue Devils, told the players he would allow them on the national team only if they agreed to comport themselves with dignity as they represented the U.S. in competition. They were to redeem the tarnished image of U.S. basketball teams that had behaved arrogantly in the past.

And they have done just that. Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and other star NBA players have come to the different events to sit in the stands and cheer on other Olympic athletes. They stop to give autographs to the fans. On the court at the Olympics, they work together as a team, letting each of their teammates shine. No one hogs the ball and they choose to make the extra pass before a shot. Demonstrating respect for their opponents, they play a tough, swarming defense. Striving to win the gold in the final game, they have already won gold in the hearts of the fans and created a sparkling image for themselves and U.S. basketball.

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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Earlier in the week, we highlighted the 20 U.S. Olympiads in Beijing who are balancing their role as mother with that of athlete. Today we learn there are two new Olympic gold medal winners who want to join the ranks of motherhood. Well, not really "new" gold medalists - Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh also won the Olympic gold medal for beach volleyball in 2004 in Athens.

Now that they have accomplished their goal of back-to-back Olympic gold, they both have said that they would like to focus on their personal lives. Each is married to an athlete as well, making their lives revolve around demanding sports schedules. After the medal ceremony in China, Kerri said, "We both want to start a family. We need to slow down and breathe a little bit, focus on our families." Asked about playing more competitive beach volleyball in preparation for the 2012 Olympics in London, Misty was thinking instead about spending time with her husband and future children. "I would like to come back and have my kids see me play. But I would like to start a new journey and see my husband too."

So if you have noticed that balancing motherhood and career is never easy, you are not alone. Even women in bikinis playing volleyball on the beach face that challenge!

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The stories of two young female Olympic athletes, with very different backgrounds, can serve as role models for all of us women pursuing dreams of our own.

Natalie du Toit, a 24-year-old South African swimmer, is in China to participate in the marathon open swim race - the first time that event is a part of the Olympics. What is unusual about her? Seven years ago she had a terrible motorcycle accident and lost one leg. She had been a competitive swimmer before the accident, so returning to the water after the loss of her leg was freeing for her. Learning of the new Olympic sport, she was determined to vie for a place on the team and qualified this year. Because the event is held in open water, it does not require flip turns at the ends of a pool and upper body strength is more important. Although Natalie didn't win any medals in China, she epitomizes the Olympic ideals through her efforts and determination. As she herself said, "My message isn't just to disabled people. It's to everyone out there that you have to work hard. I've been through a lot of ups and downs…but I've seen a lot of good things along the way. I was able to use the negativism in a good light and say after my accident, 'I can still do it if I work hard.' You have to set dreams, set goals and never give up."

Shawn Johnson faced a different kind of challenge coming into the Beijing Olympics - high expectations. A world champion in gymnastics, she had been favored to take the gold in several events but had to "settle" for the silver medal in team, individual all-around, and floor exercise events. She handled those losses with dignity and grace well beyond her 16 years. In her final event, individual balance beam, she finally won her gold medal and celebrated her success, again with poise and elegance. "This gold means more than anything to me. Beam is my favorite event, and I've worked hardest on this for a long time. It's the perfect ending to my Olympic experience." Still, Shawn explained her reactions to coming in second, "I wouldn't turn in one of my silver medals for a gold. They all mean something special. I learned from them all." Personifying the best Olympic principles, Shawn has been gracious in victory and defeat.

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

More and more stories are coming out of the Beijing Olympics highlighting the courage and resolve of the women of the world.

Constantina Tomescu-Dita of Romania, a 38-year-old mother, was the triumphant gold medal winner of women's marathon in Beijing. Four years ago in Athens she had to relinquish her dreams of an Olympic medal at mile 20 due to heat exhaustion. But even then she did not completely quit. She walked for a mile, then started running again, coming in 20th in the 2004 competition. This time she was determined to win the race. She practiced and practiced in hot weather, firmly focused on avoiding another injury. So when you feel like giving up on your dreams, think of Constantina as a role model: learn from your failures, work hard to achieve your goals, don't surrender.

Another mother, 33-year-old Oksana Chusovitina, took the silver medal for Germany in individual women's vault. Older than most of the other gymnasts by ten years, Oksana had participated in four previous Olympics, winning a team gold. Her team at that time consisted of athletes from the former Soviet Union. What brought her to Germany at this stage of her career? Her 9-year-old son, Alisher, who has been treated in Germany for leukemia for the past 6 years. When Alisher was first diagnosed as a three-year-old, Oksana could not get treatment for him in her native Uzbekistan. Not one to be stopped by the challenges she faced, she and her husband moved to Germany to train while he was being treated there. Oksana demonstrates her commitment to family by competing for Germany today.

Sisters Venus and Serena Williams demonstrated another face of womanhood as they won the gold medal in women's tennis doubles. Their joy in playing together was evident as they breezed through their matches. While they generally play singles in their careers, the women said that they had looked forward to working with one another as a doubles team. For two very competitive women, it was a welcome opportunity to cooperate and celebrate family as well as their individuality. As Venus said, complimenting her sister, "I was literally born with a doubles partner. She never minds if I miss a shot or two." Serena echoed the same sentiments, "I don't know anyone who would get tired of playing with Venus Williams." So, sisters of the world, unite!

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Monday, August 18, 2008

The full range of athletes on the USA Olympic team in Beijing demonstrates that age and family responsibilities are not the barriers to participation that you might think. Four members of the team are over 50. After training for five decades, sailor John Dane III became an Olympiad for the first time as a 58 year-old. And at age 56, shooter Libby Callahan becomes the oldest female Olympic participant of all time.

Just as significant are the 20 mothers on the USA Olympic team, including past medalists - swimmer Dara Torres, basketball player Lisa Leslie, and softball player, Jennie Finch. Dara Torres stands out as a role model for any mothers wondering if it is too late to begin again. Now age 41, she began participating in the Olympics twenty-four years ago, swimming in the 1984, 1988, 1992 and 2000 Games. Retiring, getting married and wanting to start a family, she skipped the 2004 Games and had a child two years ago. Swimming for fitness after the birth of her daughter, Tessa, she thought she was done with competitive swimming but found that her times were better than ever.

Dara marched in the Beijing opening ceremonies 8 long years after her last Olympics with 9 medals to her credit, the most of any USA athlete coming into these Games. Swimming in individual and relay team competition, she won 3 silver medals this week, losing gold in the freestyle individual event by only one one-hundredth of a second. She now can boast of a record 12 Olympic medals in her career - so far! Asked "what will you tell your daughter, Tessa, about your record at this Olympics," Dara said, "You don't have to put an age limit on your dreams."

Like Dara and these other athletes, answer with a resounding, "I can do it!" when you question whether you are too old to reach for your goals. It's never too late to challenge yourself. Use your maturity and drive as tools to make you more efficient as you strive to achieve. As Dara herself said, "To me, if it helps anyone else out there who is in their middle-aged years, putting off something they couldn't do because they thought they were too old or maybe because they had a child, they thought they couldn't balance things as a parent - if it shows anyone you can do it, I'm absolutely thrilled."

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